Now, everyone can be a little petty from time to time. If you think you're not, you're only lying to yourself. That being said, I may be a little more petty then others at times. See, when I get upset at Deni I don't yell at him, most of the time I don't say anything, I avoid conflict, I am a lover not a hater. That being said, when I do express myself, you will never forget it!
The year is 2015, now alexa is pretty common in homes, but back then, she was just starting out. Deni is a tech guy and you might think well, that's all guys. When I say tech guy, I mean he owns an IT company. So, we always own the latest tech stuff.
I don't remember exactly what led up to this event, I just know what happened during and after, what started it and ended up being irrelevant.
Alex was sitting in the living room, in her usual place. I was listening to music, and I wanted to hear a specific song "Tonight" by Inglesias, except I thought it was called "muffining You". Well, Alexa asked me if I wanted to add condoms to my cart (which wasn't my cart, it was Deni's cart). I said "yes" then I added Lub, dildos, cuffs, whips, sexy lingerie, assless chaps, I added every sex toy I could think of, and when I couldn't think of anymore, I turned to google. Talk about sex ed, I learned some muffin that day! After I added it I was quite pleased with myself, I had over 500 sex objects in his cart.
I went about my day, and I forgot all about it. Well, Deni came home from work, he didn't say anything. He just went to change and I made us tea and a snack.
He came back and sat down at the table with me, he took a sip of tea, "So, I got into the conversation about Alexa today at work.' when he said that I avoided his very intent gaze beating down on me, I just managed a "Oh really" "Yeah, then I showed them how convenient it was that I could just add stuff to my cart, because I also bought Alexa for work." I didn't know that when I was adding sex toys to his cart. "Do you know what was in my cart?" I was not about to admit that I put 500 sex toys in his cart, so I played dumb "No, what?"
Well, that kinda pissed him off. "500 sex toys, 500. My co-workers think we are a bunch of kinky sex addicts, you know what the first 3 things they saw were? A sex doll, anal deads, and muffin chaps. What the hell were you thinking." I came back with a reasonable response, why would you have shown them that?" At this point his face was red. "Because I didn't know I had a nut job for a girlfriend who would add 500 muffing things to my account! Who does that?"
I wish I had a comeback. All I could manage was "It was alexa's fault. She recommended condoms, and then one thing added to another." "No, it led to 500 things, a few things I could get, but 500, what the muffin" At this point his voice was slightly raised and veins were popping a little.
I just sat there, because I really didn't have anything to say and I realized, I may have been a little excessive, then it came to me, the comeback "You know, most men would like that their girlfriend added sex toys to there amazon cart." He looked at me, "Oh my god, you really can't admit what you did was wrong can you? Do you know how close my boss was to seeing it? He literally got a call before I showed everyone and I work with these people, you are going to meet these people, they think you are a sex freak."
Now when they thought he was a sex freak that was okay, but me? "Wait, it's your amazon account, why would they think I was the sex freak?" He huffed "Because I tried explaining you were playing a joke. I didn't want to tell them my girlfriend is psychotic, so I was like oh, she was joking, but it's hard to sell that when it's 500 items, because that's not a joke, that's a crazy person."
I got he was mad, but I didn't like him calling me crazy, so I told him that. His response was "Well, they don't think you're crazy, they just think we are a bunch of kinks in bed." I found this humorous, he did not. To this day I am banned from adding anything to his amazon cart.