Chapter 36: nEiL-tHe LoVeR
Let
everything
happen
Naturally.
Never
Force it.
¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
Been 3 months since Neil proposed to me but I have been ignoring him....
He keeps on asking for my answer....had been telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend and when I tried to reprimand it....
No one believes me!
Have been going less to the cafe since that proposal thing.
Seeing my behaviour.... Anna suspected something must have happened between me and Neil....
She and Rishi kept on bothering me....asking twisted questions it was frustrating at some point.....
Finally I could not take it and told them what happened between me and Neil.
She was surprised at first and was angry with me.....saying how could you hide something like this from me! We were supposed to be friends..... remember you were so angry when I hid about Rishi from you....
Now.... you did the same!
Anna said.... so that's why you are hiding now.....look iLa hiding is not the solution....do you know even Apurva uncle is sad cause you stopped coming to the cafe.
Face the truth.....I know you love Ronin but he is not gonna come back to your life.....truth hurts and I understand my words will sting you.....you have to accept the truth and move on.
Don't let your past hold you back....maybe who knows Neil might be good for you. Maybe he will keep you happy.....so try and give him a chance.
Her words hit me hard and hurted me as well.....he is not gonna come into your life....that was the word that affected me the most.
Tears pouring out of my eyes.....sniffing I muffled my cries....not wanting my dad or witch to hear about it....
If my dad hear my cry...thousand questions would be asked and I was not in the condition to answer them...
I was so hurt....I have been missing Ronin so much all these years...praying to God for him to come back into my life.....
Will he ever come back into my life....will he? That's the question that keeps coming to mind each day.....
Though Anna's words hurt but she said the truth...I think I need to accept the truth now and give myself another chance.
Sighing....I told myself just go with the flow and see where this will lead me too.
I don't know whether this decision will be right or wrong....
I just hope I won't regret it!
But I thought of giving some more time...after Ronin I don't know should I even trust Neil or not.
Since Ronin and my grandfather left....my life has gotten much worse!
Not a day I have had a relaxing time at home....house does not feels like home all I wanna do is end my college and leave this hell hole!
For once....why can't I live a normal happy life....why does all the problems surrounds me only....as if I don't have enough in my hands and now this Neil problem too I have to face.....
Fuck my life!
××××××××××××××××××××
¶2 months after¶
Today....today will be the day!
I'm gonna give my answer to Neil..... these 5 months I have been watching Neil closely....
how he has been so loving with me....adoring me, showering me with so much love....
His eyes shows so much love for me....
But...but I'm still not sure about my decision....I'm still hesitating!
nagging feelings keep coming into my mind....I keep asking myself do I even love him....but in return the answer I get is yes!....as a friend.
Not as a lover!
Can't back out now....now can I?
I'm freaking out....having a cold feet! My heart is beating fast due to my nervousness....
Oh god! Am I taking the right decision....should I run away!
The hell iLa! calm yourself down my inner mind told me....I was having fight with my good self and bad self...
the more I think about it....the more I was having a inner battle....
So...calming myself down I closed my eyes and relaxed my nerves a bit....
all the while Neil sitting infront of me was watching me like a predator.....and I was his prey!
closing my eyes.....I said to myself whatever happens leave it to the time....and said yes to him!
so...here goes nothing...
Yes! I will be your girlfriend!
Shocked! everyone was shocked! Neil was shocked but after he came out of his trance state...he became so happy!
He started shouting I have a girlfriend now....iLa said yes to me!
Taking me in his arms....he hugged me and spinned me around....giving kisses in my cheeks and saying thank you!
as for me.....all I could think am I even happy!
No! No I was not even happy at all....not happy like I was when I said yes to Ronin....not happy when Neil kissed me, hugged me....not happy when he called me his girlfriend....
Tears were forming into my eyes but I held myself and told myself give yourself a second chance.....who knows even Ronin might have found someone else...maybe he has already forgotten about you....maybe he does not even misses you.....
these thoughts made me stick to my decision.....but somewhere deep down I knew....my heart was telling me....my Ronin will come back to me....we will be together again....
I hope it won't be late!
Wow! can't believe I said yes to Neil and now we were lovers!
so this is what people say and meant.....journey being a friend to lover!
been a week.... since me and Neil became a couple and not a day go by meeting eachother.....he showers me with so much love and shows me off to people saying I'm his girlfriend now....
Even Apurva uncle is happy for us...he says I have the best niece in law now....you must be confused how niece in law right!
Well you see he calls Neil as his nephew and calls his mother a sister so that's how I became niece in law now....
In law really! this is freaking crazy...he thinks we will get married someday....funny right!
Isn't it too soon to be called a niece in law! Keep on dreaming people....
Slowly I was getting lost in his love....he was treating me right....giving me the respect...the love...the care which every girls deserves....
Everyday he use to say I love you....and with little heart I use to tell him I loved him too...
Though I accepted him as my bf but my heart and soul did not....it still belonged to Ronin....
I know it was wrong....what I was doing was wrong but I also knew I needed to move on with my life....
This was the only way giving myself a second chance....giving love a second chance....
I won't say it was the best thing but being with Neil was not as bad as I thought....
I started trusting him slowly.....learned to love him as well.....
after college....my days would be with being with him....laughing, watching movies, eating....
It had became our regular thing....his friends had become more close to me now...
we would go in dates sometimes...or to watch a movie in the hall....
He'd bought gifts for me sometimes and vise versa.....times were going on like this....
Soon our relationship grew and one year became two....still going strong as ever, his love for me never wavered...
I was the only for him...he never looked at any other girls....his eyes were only on me.....he was thinking of marrying me someday....
That somehow made me happy....I was happy with him or I thought so...
I was also introduced to his mom and his family.....his sister's loved me and respected me alot. We had became quick friends.
But I had dreams....dreams of going to European country or USA for my further studies....I just cannot let it go!
So whenever he used to talk about marriage I used to hesitate and stay silent....or I would say first I will complete my further studies then I will think about the marriage.
Hearing my answer either he would stay silent or clench his jaws but he never complained about it.
Soon another year gone by and two years became three years!
And slowly my nightmare began....
Again my nagging feelings came to life!
And I knew I had taken the wrong.....worst decision of my life!
I forced myself to take this decision....
And now I'm suffering it!
Thus the saying:
¶Let
everything
happen
Naturally.
Never
Force it.¶
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone