Chapter 365: Chapter 343: Suicide Day
"I grabbed it first!" – My noisy sister yelled like a spoiled child as she held three thin plastic boxes. I think they are video games.
"But you already have three!" – A girl with a cap, sunglasses and face mask was arguing with my silly sister.
She seemed like a stalker, though it's likely that she just wants to hide her identity so that other people don't know about her likes. Well, otakus are often discriminated against, so that's understandable.
"I chose three because that's what a collector does!" – My proud sister lifted her proud chest. – "One is to play, another is to collect and the third is in case the first one is damaged!"
… What a fucking stupidity.
The worst thing is that Marin, Sylphynford, Arisa and Ina nodded as if that made sense... Capitalism rotted their brains.
"Ugh, that makes sense…" – It can't be, the girl agreed too… It seems that video games make teenagers dumber.
"But there are only three left, you can't take them all!" – The girl was screaming in frustration which caught the attention of several people. It seems that she has a low tolerance for frustration.
"Hmph, it's your fault for being slow" – My arrogant sister smiled arrogantly.
The two silly girls kept arguing, so I sighed. I don't feel like getting involved in this stupidity.
One of the store workers approached us because of the noise the two brats were making.
"L-Ladies…" – The pitiful boy seemed worried. – "I-I'm sorry, but you can't buy that game, the age restriction is 17 years or older…"
I looked at the game my sister was holding….
"Competing with my Okasan to make my Oniichan get me pregnant before her… Pffffff ahahahahahahahahaha! wincest!" - Navi began to laugh.
...
...…
...
…
"Luis?" – Tsubaki spoke with concern.
"I'm fine, I just had a stroke" – I sighed internally while my brain regenerated.
I regret learning to read...
"Onii-chan is going to buy it" – The damn disgusting brat pointed at me without showing the slightest shame.
The clerk looked at me strangely.
"Do you have any problem?" - I frowned with annoyance.
"No, nothing..." – The employee smiled bitterly. – "I just need yuor identification, sir"
That damn idiot is looking at me with envy…
This could not be worse…
"Tch, if only I had brought my useless brother..." – The girl clenched her teeth in frustration as she lowered her gaze.
When she lowered her gaze I could see her face better, more specifically, I looked at her eyes...
Those eyes…..
No, I must be hallucinating. The death of my neurons must be affecting me…..
It is impossible…
This smell.... It is similar, but there is something different…..
That girl, her eyes and her smell are similar to the features of the two most stupid men I know; my father and his stupid son, I...
….
[System Notification: The skill 'Dissociative Identity' has been used. Concept: Protagonist > Espionage]
[System Notification: The 'Masochism' skill has strengthened the 'Character Sheet' skill]
[Name: Kirino Kousaka
Origin: Ore No Imouto Ga Konnani Kawaii Wake Ga Nai
Categories: Woman. Waifu. Main heroine. Imouto (younger sister). Perverted. Brocon (you don't want to know). Sweet Home Alabama. Wincest (Spoiler). Otaku. Siscon (you don't want to know). Perfectionist (early Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Stubborn. Tsundere. Princess complex. Narcissistic. Model... Fruit of infidelity...… Bastard daughter...…ERROR…. ERROR...…]
[System Notification: The title 'Editor' has detected an error in the Plot linked to the entity 'Kirino Kousaka'.
Error: In the original plot, Kirino Kousaka is the daughter of Daisuke Kousaka (Father) and Yoshino Kousaka (Mother). The records do not show Daisuke Kousaka's genes. Records indicate that the father is.... 00000000 (Unidentifiable name). Records show genetic similarity to user's human lineage and entity 'Umaru Oosuki (Doma)']
[System Notification: It is not possible to extract more information without the support of the skill 'Paranoia']
[System Notification: The skills 'Sadomasochistic Meditation' and 'Mythomania', the energy 'Anti-Rasen' and Auriel's blessing have been used to prevent a fit of anger and anxiety]
[System Notification: The title 'Stingy Jack' has found a low-level Contract. There is no risk in reading it]
[Contract: Hello son
Well, if you found this brat it means you survived Beast VII and other troubles.
Well done champ, keep it up!
What did you think of my little gift?
You were always overprotective of your sister, so I wanted to give you a nice present. Now you can enjoy the tight holes of your sisters.
How many?
Many?
I don't know, who cares? You don't even have feelings, you're just a degenerate like me.
Just go find them and impregnate them, anyway, you can have another idiot take care of the spawns you produce. Ha, that's what I did.
Make me proud, champ. Have lots of kids with the wives of the workaholic idiots, I know you love married women, you definitely inherited that from me, hahaha.
By the way, your mother's favorite position is doggy style, you'll surely have fun with her or maybe you would have already done it… Pffff, Seiji…. Ahahahahahahaha! You're funny, son!
Anyway, I have nothing more to say since you are smart and you must have guessed most of what is happening, but don't worry, we will see each other again soon and I will answer the few questions you have.
I'll bring some good women and you can bring some from your collection.
You know, you, me and a lot of bitches. Nothing better than an orgy to strengthen our bond between father and son.
Sincerely: Your father
Postada: Don't even bother looking for my name or location, even the Higher Entities of big organizations can't find me, hahahaha]
...
"L-Luis…"
"No, not a word, Tsubaki, this didn't happen, none of this happened and my vacation is still intact" – I took one of the games from Umaru and gave it to the girl I don't know and will never see again...… ...
"Nani?" – The nameless unknown girl looked at me confused with her bright blue eyes..... colorless eyes, yes, that.
"Onii-chan?!" - Umaru, don't yell...
"Brat, don't be selfish, I'm not in the mood…" – I closed my mouth and went to the cash register to pay for the stupid things the girls bought.
Damn, I almost threw up something major.
There was a person at the checkout, so I pointed at the group of girls, swallowed my heart, and took out my credit card. – "I will pay all that… quickly"
Am I old enough to have a credit card? Who the fuck cares?!
oh my head...
"Ah, y-yes, of course" – The person got nervous when she saw my expression.
The girls came over and put their things on the counter.
I think they were saying that they could pay for their own stuff, but I hear blurry, so I ignored them and paid for everything.
Money is useless if it can't lessen my migraine….
I wanted to leave the store, but the girl with no name or eyes approached me to thank me while she gave me something, a piece of paper… ..
"T-Thank you very much… This is my number, please contact me to pay you…" – The nameless thing bowed while her cheeks blushed...…
No, nameless things have no faces...… I am delirious.....
Kirino left quickly…. No no no NO NO NO ...… The thing is gone, that….
I kept massaging my forehead.
"Onii-chan?"
Damn, I'm not your fucking brother…!
Ah, it's Umaru, all right.
I sighed and managed to regain my calm. – "I didn't have time to eat breakfast and I couldn't have lunch, I'm just a little dizzy from hunger"
Saki had an extremely remorseful look on her face and was about to apologize, but I smiled kindly. – "Don't worry, we're just going to eat something, I invite"
"But senpai already bought us a lot of things…" – Sawako seemed a bit uncomfortable since she's a good girl and she doesn't like to abuse the kindness of others.
"It's fine" – My smile became softer and gentler. – "You are my sister's friends and therefore you are like family, don't worry, I am the oldest here so it is normal for me to take care of this"
"…" – Some girls seemed touched by the sincerity in my words while a couple of them blushed from the kindness of my smile.
I am attractive and I know how to adapt my facial expression and tone of voice to a smile that is extremely attractive to naive girls who have no experience with fucking womanizers…. Only Saki has that kind of experience, but she's already fallen in love with me, so she just thought my smile is beautiful.
Umaru noticed that something was wrong with me, so he spoke to get the girls' attention. – "I know a good place! The food is not as good as Onii-chan's, but the theme is cute with a lot of moe"
What?
Whatever, I just need something to eat since chewing on my own tongue is starting to get tedious.
I walk behind the girls like I'm taking care of them, but I just want an angle where they can't see my eyes… It'll be bad if they notice the spirals in my pupils.
"Nia I give you all the control of the Anti-Rasen to suppress my combat skills and my unconscious movements, Yoko make sure that the Rasen doesn't get out of control, and Ortro..." – I sighed internally. – "Ah, keep chewing on that, good girl"
Ortro nodded happily and continued to chew on souls that screamed in the most tragic and horrible agony that the human mind can imagine.
Ah, cries of pain from Buddhist monks. How relaxing…
We arrive at a colorful and strange restaurant.
One time, my wives found out I had a stupid cosplay fetish, so they set up something called Maid Café. Thanks to that nonsense I was able to recognize that the restaurant was a maid-themed place.
Well, it was something I expected from my silly sister. My true and only younger sister...…. Ah, my head...
We entered and a beautiful girl led us to a table.
"Hey Listen! Inseminate that waitress!"
"Navi, now I'm not in the mood….." – I resisted the urge to vomit my organs and sat down next to the girls.
"Tch, loser! The best way to deal with a migraine is a wild orgy with waifus that otakus can only crave in their wet dreams! Now go and impregnate the girlfriend of some jerk with the nice guy tag!" – Navi…..
I ignored the idiot and looked at the menu while the girls kept up about anime.
After a couple of minutes a waitress approached, but she stood still without speaking.
I felt a strange look so I looked at the waitress.
She was a beautiful girl of 16 or 17 years old.
Although she was attractive, I raised an eyebrow because she was looking at me with a mixture of scorn, disgust, and panic.
I checked my memories and there was nothing, so it's not likely that I would have slept with her, in fact, she is a virgin.
Maybe I slept with her mom or maybe she knows my reputation and sees me as trash.
"Kaichou?" - Marin's eyes widened in surprise.
"Who?" – I asked without interest.
"This is Ayuzawa Misaki, she is the student council president" – Marin was still surprised, but she was also very curious. – "I heard that she is very strict with the boys, I never thought to see her dressed as a maid…"
(Author's Note: Misaki Ayuzawa from Kaichou wa Maid-Sama!)
Oh, I think I heard something about that.
Medaka got into the student council and has sometimes mentioned to me that the council president is part of the group that wants me kicked out of school, so she's been busy trying to convince them that I'm not a threat to the integrity of the school.
Mmmm good…. I think I found something to deal with the stress.
The girl named Misaki paled upon hearing Marin's words. It seems that she doesn't want to be recognized, which is very stupid since this place is not too far from the school.
"Oh, I see" – I nodded without showing interest in the girl's identity and turned my attention to the girls. - "What do you want to eat?"
The girls didn't notice that Misaki was in a panic and began to order what they liked. Only Sawako noticed that something was off, but Umaru brought her back to the conversation, so she also chose something to eat.
These girls are too cute and they chose cheap food so as not to make me spend too much money. It's decided, they will be part of my harem.
Misaki was still distraught, but she forced herself to smile and wrote the order down as she struggled to keep up her cute acting.
Misaki wanted to leave quickly, but I spoke to choose my food.
This restaurant knows that not all people understand stupid concepts like 'Crepe mofu mofu' or that shit, so there were little descriptions of each dish and the way they are served.
I smiled without hiding my mockery and desire to annoy. – "Then it will be a crepe mofu mofu, a happy wife sandwich, an omelet with mofu love, a loving maid coffee and a pink love ice cream"
"Hey Listen! Your masculinity just killed itself with a shotgun!" – Navi had a fit of laughter while Arisa, Ina and Umaru resisted laughing.
I ignored the idiots and continued to smile as Misaki trembled in fury and embarrassment.
A rule of this place is that the waitress who takes the order must also serve the food according to the description of each dish.
For example, the loving maid coffee is served by a loving and caring maid who acts like a loving wife as she makes a figure out of the foam.
This is done to make the customer feel what it's like to have a loving and accommodating girlfriend, which I honestly find pathetic, but certainly a great method of attracting customers.
"..." – Misaki was gritting her teeth as a vein stood out on her forehead. She was clenching the pen as if she wanted to break it, but she managed to keep the kind smile. – "W-Would you like something else, dear customer?"
"Oh, right" – My smile grew. – "I want the neko-maid service"
"..." – Misaki broke the pen in her hand.
I showed fake concern while continuing to smile mockingly and cynically. – "Oh, how sad, your pen broke, but don't worry, if you are cute and adorable I will give you a good tip so you can buy a better pen"
Oh, fascinating. I can hear her blood pressure rise.
Misaki was so angry that she lost her cool and opened her mouth without thinking. – "Dear customer, please do not order food if you cannot afford it…."
Oh, how lovely. She has heard that I am a beggar so she wanted to use that to attack me.
Despite the comment, Misaki is actually a nice girl and quickly regretted what she said. She was just impulsive because I screwed her up too much.
That is why people who are angry should not speak or they may regret it.
She feels a little ashamed of her job, but what really angered her was the idea of having to be obedient to one of the men she hates the most.
If I'm not mistaken, she hates men because of some personal event, maybe a problem with her father.
Because of that, she has a lot of hate towards trash like me, since I'm a ladies' man who treats women like disposable objects. At least that's what the rumors say about me, and that's technically true since I used to be like this before I fell in love with Shigure.
(Author's Note: Shigure Kosaka from Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple)
The girls next to me were shocked by the comment and frowned as they thought that Misaki was discriminating against me for being poor.
No matter the World, country, society or species, discrimination will always exist, although compared to the things I heard when I was in China, this is a childish joke.
I don't really care, but I frowned and took out my wallet to show a good amount of cash. – "Does that seem enough to you?"
"…. I..."– Misaki wanted to apologize, but she didn't know what to say.
Even if I didn't have money, her attitude was not appropriate and she felt guilty.
Again, she's a very kind girl, but her grudge against the trash men made her respond impulsively, which is funny.
"Just bring the food" - I pretended to be upset and did not pay more attention.
Misaki sighed and bowed. – "An apology for my previous behavior, if you wish, I can request that another waitress serve you…"
Tch, it's not funny if she apologizes so quickly.
I was disappointed that my emotional punching bag turned out to be a person with a brain, but then I saw a blond boy at another table frown at the waitress's attitude.
It seemed that that boy was interested in Misaki, moreover, Misaki waved to the boy as if to prevent him from intervening.
They know each other well, and although there is no clear friendship between them, there is certainly something...
I see, these two cute lovebirds…
It seems that Misaki is not in love with the boy and sees him more as a slightly annoying friend, but it is only a matter of time before they are together judging by the Thread of Destiny that binds them...
Well, the plot armor Mumei gave me is already absorbing the thread of fate, so that path doesn't exist anymore.
(Author's Note: Mumei Nanashi from Hololive / Alaya from Fate/Grand Order)
Misaki was quick to come to terms with her mistake and I can't nag her too much, but I found something more amusing.
"Hey Listen! NetoriGOD!" – Navi moved in front of the blond boy's face and began to laugh. – "I hope you have a sexy mother so that my partner makes you a little sister and after him he will give a niece! Oyakodon NTR Wincest muahahaha!"
…. It would be nice if Navi stops using the internet for a while.
I sighed and relaxed my expression. – "No, I was also to blame for bothering you on purpose… Let's do this, pretend nothing happened and start again"
Misaki looked up and sighed in relief that I don't hold a grudge against her. A very honest girl.
Now that she was calmer, I showed a small smile. – "But you will still have to wear the cat headband"
"… .." – Misaki twisted her mouth bitterly, but she sighed with resignation and nodded, then left to prepare our food.
Let's see. The blond boy seems to be a protagonist, so my titles must already be making him unconsciously hostile towards me.
I can use this to my advantage….
I can use this to my advantage….
"Hey Listen! Start the cuckshow!"
… No.
"Hey Listen! You're afraid of success, bitch!"
I ignored Navi's nonsense and started chatting with the girls while the food was ready, but again I found that the author is a piece of shit with no life of his own.
At another table in the restaurant were a bunch of idiots with athletic builds, but they had dyed hair and some piercings, so it was obvious they're juvenile criminals.
That group was loud and harassing a few waitresses, but they seemed to know where to draw the line and not try to touch women, they just made nasty comments while looking at the waitresses' bodies, so it was hard to tell them to get out of here.
They weren't really a problem and we even ignored them, but one of them looked at Saki and whispered something to his friends.
Apparently, that bunch of idiots have already slept with Saki and they know that she is basically a prostitute, so they want to take her away for a sex party….. Also, they got interested in the women around me...... ......…..
"Hey Listen! Today is National Suicide Day! As expected from Japan!"
I will not stop repeating it. Mental health in Japan is worrisome… Too many suicides…
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