Chapter 41: Father - Part 2
"Father, why did she do that?"
"Are you talking about that girl whom you warned?"
"Yeah. I didn't expect her to be like that."
"You knew her?"
Zhang Wuji thought back to the first time he saw her and shook his head. "No. It's just I didn't expect her to be like that."
"Like what?"
"Like that.. you know, she.." He hesitated and didn't finish.
"Don't think stuff you can't say, don't say stuff you can't do. Sigh Wuji, how many times have I said this to you?"
"..."
"Why do you think she did some thing wrong?"
"Because.. how can she.. it's obviously wrong."
Zhang Han took a deep look at his son.
"You should see me when someone from the parent city comes. They use me as their errand boy. I do everything they ask with my back bent and a smile constantly plastered on my face.
"Sometimes they bring some young master. He may want your mother to serve tea to him. I continue smiling as your mother serves him."
"How can you-"
"Wuji, it's just tea. One must learn to be tolerant in front of a strong adversity. Those young ones do this to feed their inflated ego, that's all. If they go any further, neither side would be able to handle the consequences. They are just lowly envoys. Even if their status is above ours, they can't handle the responsibility of upsetting a vassal city."
"What if someone stronger comes demanding more." Zhang Wuji asked with dissatisfaction. He realised his mistake as soon as he said those words and opened his mouth to apologise.
Zhang Han raised his hand, stopping him. "If such a thing happens, I'll fight till the last breath leaves my body. Wuji remember this, this is very important. It is quite obvious in fact, everyone knows this, but, it is the easiest to forget.
"Everyone dies. Doesn't matter if you have reached nascent soul or maybe even higher, everyone dies. With cultivation you are just delaying the inevitable. Don't be scared of such an obvious truth. If you want to be scared, live constantly in fear. But if the fear only comes when you see death in front of you, you have lived your life blind and foolish.
"I've lived for more than forty years. I roamed around a lot when I was younger. I saw many things. From all that experience, I tell you this. Being foolish is the greatest sin.
"The girl did what she felt was right. You don't even know the whole story. She could've been forced, maybe her family was used to blackmail her, maybe she did it for the resources, or maybe she could've done it simply because she liked it. Whatever be the case, it isn't your place to judge her. It will only bring you unnecessary headache. It is foolish. And none of the reasons I mentioned seem wrong to me. She either saves her self, her family, or gets cultivation resources, or has fun."
"How could she do that?!"
"You mean save herself or her family?"
"No, for resources fun whatever."
"You want her to be unhappy?"
"That's not it.."
"Do you know her?"
"No I don't."
"You like her?"
"No I.."
"If you like her, the problem doesn't lie with her. You are just frustrated about your helplessness. If you don't like her, that would mean your mind is filled with filth. You should clean it."
Zhang Wuji understood what his father was saying. Still, he was not satisfied.
"What is important?" He mumbled thinking back to what Lin Yingjie said.
"What do you mean?"
"If I'm gonna die anyway, why am I even.. why should I bother to do anything!"
Zhang Han thought for a bit.
"I don't know."
Zhang Wuji looked at his father, not expecting such an answer. Then hung his head down, lost.
"I don't know what is important. What I do know is what is more important. You will die whether you bother to do anything or not. If I have to live anyway, I'd rather live happy and peaceful. For that I will have to cultivate.
"If you think you'll end it early, then that is just foolish. We don't know what happens after death. People talk about reincarnation cycle and all but those are just speculation and not concrete truth. Ending it early would be like giving up a fish on the hook to check what triggered your trap. It could be a fruit, a rock, a child, the rabbit you designed it for or maybe a snake that would poison you to death the moment you open the trap. Maybe the fish that you let go was a golden carp on the verge of becoming a dragon. Maybe it is a million year old herb, who knows.
"So all you gotta do is cultivate properly and use the strength and freedom you thus obtained to search for what is truly important, why are you here in the first place, what is your purpose."
Silence.
"You said you know what is more important, how do I know that."
"First and foremost, don't be foolish. For that you must always be alert. As long as you are alert, you can use your intelligence. With that, figuring out what is important is easy.
"From what I understood, there are two things that determine something's importance. One is your identity and the second is it's relative permanence. For example family's welfare is more important than yours. Because number one, you have an identity as the member of that family and second, it has more relative permanence. It will continue to live long after you are dead."
"What if I have a life and death feud with a family?"
"A bunch of families together make a country. As a countryman you shouldn't hurt a family that supports a country. If the family's life or death doesn't effect the country in anyway, kill them all."
"What if I don't care for the country?"
"One must care for their country."
"I don't have an attachm-"
"That doesn't matter. If it were a country where people live under the tyranny of a ruler as slaves then it would be a different matter. But Yi family were always on the forefronts whenever there is a beast tide. Do you think we could've survived this long without them, without a nascent soul cultivator like Yi ancestor?
"Wuji, gratitude shows you how to live. For this life you must be grateful to the Zhang ancestors, the country, the human race and mother nature. The annual festival is held to remind us of that. An ingrate does not deserve the life he has."
Seeing that Zhang Wuji was not convinced he continued.
"Wuji things about following one's heart and freedom are things irresponsible fools speak. I tell you again, don't be foolish. Not following your heart will make you frustrated and unhappy but following it does not guarantee anything. One must teach it to be responsible and grateful, and always be responsible and grateful. When your heart catches up, you will be content. Understand?"
Zhang Wuji nodded.
"One more thing, when you are in an emotionally excited state, it could be excessive happiness, sadness, loneliness, whatever, when you are such a state foolishness covers your intelligence. Then it is best to ask those who care about you to guide you towards what is important."
Zhang Wuji spoke to his father for a while longer before going back to his room. The following days he spent time with his family and in annual festival rituals. He didn't participate in the competition this time too and there was no one who tried to get him into the fighting ring.
The annual festival ended peacefully without any complications. This time he didn't go antique hunting. After saying goodbyes to his parents and big sis he left for the sect to resume his life as a cultivator.
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