Chapter 291: Venti! Nooo!
Read up to 18 chapters ahead! Celestia TIER patreons also get to read the first few chapters of my new series:
MHA - Return By Death.
https://pa treon.com/StickSwinger
Chill with us!
https://discord.gg/qpDTvSj3TC
***
In comparison to his previous life, he had changed significantly, which was why everything appeared so new and odd to him right now. However, he had finally established rules for himself, which he would adhere to.
This way, even the deal of getting a 'special' type of service in Liyue couldn't tempt him to break that promise.
With his mind made up on the matter, he decided to take a bath, change into comfortable clothes, and unwind by reading Teyvat Travel Guide Vol. 1 book, or rather, a magazine, which Lisa had previously recommended to him.
Apparently, it was a magazine by her acquaintance called Alice, a powerful sorceress.
This first issue included a short traveling diary of Alice the Traveler on her experiences in Mondstadt.
'Alice the traveler?'
As he made himself comfortable on his bed, Yomite began to read through the pages, but the first page sent shivers down his spine...and all the way to his manhood!
"What the the hell is this...?"
The first page was called, "A fun meat grinder? Or a source of energy?"
Apparently, the three hilichurl tribes, the Meaty tribe, the Sleeper tribe, and the Eclipse tribe located in a valley near Mondstadt were all densely populated.
[What if we built a huge spinning ball-shaped cell in the center of the valley and threw all of the hilichurls into it? That way we might be able to generate enough energy to power all the mills in Mondstadt for at least five years...]
"..."
The idea sounded deranged.
He wasn't against killing hilichurls if they were overpopulated and had a request from the adventurer's guild, or if they were attacked by them, but going out of his way to murder them all to power up some mills..?
[...If we took it one step further by grinding the hilichurls that are too old or too weak into food and feeding them to the strong ones, we might just build ourselves a perpetual motion machine that can support a huge factory like in Snezhnaya...]
"...The fuck did I just read...?"
The thought alone was absurd, but there was also a whole paragraph explaining how, due to a curse, their bodies may potentially become stronger after devouring each other.
Whoever wrote this was sick to the core.
Especially considering Yomite could make out what the hilichurls were saying, and it seemed he was the only one.
He was suspicious of Kaeya at first, but he later told him he didn't understand anything they were saying...
Alice's occasional happy stickers she placed here and there on the magazine page made her idea seem even more ridiculous.
'Alice...a name of a person I'll be staying far, far away from. If by chance she found out I'm from another world...' Yomite thought grimly.
He might have become a research subject of some mad scientist who wanted to study him in order to replicate his powers or something equally creepy; he really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
[It seems totally feasible to me. But when I told Miss Lisa, the Mondstadt's librarian about this great idea of mine, she just looked at me and pondered in silence for a long, long time, then changed the subject gracefully...]
"This Alice character sure knows how to act crazy...even Lisa didn't want anything to do with this shit!"
No morals at all, no hesitation whatsoever and not afraid to push forward with any insane idea if given a good opportunity...
He glanced at the second page that had something to do with the Anemo Archon capable of switching genders and preemptively shook his head, "Nope!" before throwing it out of sight, behind his bed frame.
Enough was enough! He didn't want anything else weird popping up right now. This girl was bad news from what little he saw so far.
'Let's stay away from whoever is called Alice...'
He closed his eyes, hoping the topic would never come up again.
Now, he still had plenty of time before tomorrow morning, it was only around 4pm (16:00) currently, the sun hadn't completely set yet.
'It will take some time for the girls to pack everything and get ready.'
He sighed and began looking through his wardrobe. He had purchased the same black shirt approximately twenty times, as well as other pieces of clothing, and whenever something got dirty or torn apart by monsters, he simply purchased another set of the same clothes because he enjoyed wearing the same things every day.
His tastes were also quite simple and plain; he was aware that people might consider him boring because he always wore the same outfit, but he did so because it was more comfortable than spending Mora on something he wouldn't wear often because it was so uncomfortable that he had to scratch his back all day.
'I'll put all of this into Lumine's Inventory later...aaah such a shame I don't have it...I should have asked The Goddess Sia for it before I was reincarnated...dammit! Inventory ability is way too essential, how could I forget about something so vital...instead I got this dumb ability to ask how to progress the story, and I can use it roughly twice a day, yet I never use it at all since it's useless to me, and usually whenever I'm in a pickle, my girls can think of something immediately...smart gals.'
He turned towards his bedframe and hesitantly walked over there.
It was the place where he'd previously thrown the magazine.
'I am bored...but do I really want to read that thing again? Think...Yomite...Think.'
Eventually, curiosity killed the cat. Yomite picked up the magazine and took a closer look at the second page.
"The truth about the Anemo Archon? Barbatos is a cutie???"
[Oh Em Geee! I know you people reading this might not believe it, but I just saw the Anemo Archon washing his body in a lake! Aw, how small and cute he looked, I almost wanted to eat him up! He almost looked exactly like a woman, with the exception of a very, very small reproductive organ in between his legs...It was adorable. So small, it made me want to cut it off.]
"..."
...
..
.
Yomite stopped breathing for what seemed like fiften seconds, after he finished reading the sentence above.
The thought of a woman calling someone's penis 'small' was hard to swallow for any male, let alone cutting it off!?
'Seriously...What is wrong with this person...?'
[From my research, I found out that the Anemo Archon, Barbatos was once a wisp of the wind, but it all changed when his dear friend died, aww so saaad...so he took on his form and name, and even now, secretly roams Mondstadt. Still, I wonder...if he is the wisp of wind and I cut it off, would he be forced to change gender into a female one, or would a new little friend down there grow up right away so I can cut if off again? It makes me want to try it so badly!!!]
"What the hell are you thinking!? You sicko woman!" He yelled at the magazine angrily, the shout reverberating around the room, "You've gone too far! This magazine should burn!"
No more talks about cutting!
Leave the man's manhood and crown jewels alone!
Not only did she spy on Venti washing himself in the lake, belittled his little brother by calling it: "Very, very small", she also wanted to castrate him multiple times to see how he would react...? What was with this crazy woman?!
'Man, women of this world are messed up, I am starting to get afraid...is harem really that safe? Surely nothing like this would happen to me, right? I am trying to be as kind and loving as I possible can to everyone...'
Venti was useless, drunk, annoying, idiot femboy that didn't listen much either; yet even he didn't deserve that kind of treatment.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Stick_Swinger
Stick_Swinger Thank you, my kind Chinese Billionaires and Sugar Daddies who keep on sponsoring me:
Ricky
number_1_mongrel_hater
BeastZ0011
ELM
Vadim G
hart l powell
Cyssansige
Nicholas Castiglione
DrSkillz
Kris Height
quiler
Rasheek Mahmud
Kataku Shimoatsu
Soul
Nitrogue97
Gryzmot
Traveling Toaster
supremus
DeezNuts
Bomanjoe
kris ross
Bloody Eclipse
ActuallySuprame
Lucesky 9
MeLikeToRead2
Sirsqueezins
Lawrence Craft
Rancholo12
LuxityRealm
Ashton Mitcham
Brian Lock
BlueSummer
Alex
Reginleif
KotoriEx
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone