Chapter 27: Intimate conversation
The corridors of the castle were long and the night plunged them into darkness although there was someone to warm it with his own heat.
In fact, during the night Gilbert was there to warm the atmosphere thinking about his beloved Abigail.
The girl in all haste had forgotten the precious green ribbons that tied her long red hair and for this reason the man planned to return them to her the next day, when everything was over.
They were so long and soft to the touch and still carried her perfume on them.
The bedroom door suddenly opened arousing in him an innate fear.
He saw his father leaning against the door.
James's face was completely red and the white wig he wore did not carry the usual composure.
From his angry gaze it was clear that something had gone wrong that evening.
-I was planning to join you, father- the general admitted, lowering his gaze.
Gilbert's sentence ended with a strong and powerful slap on his left cheek from his father.
He expected it from him or at least he expected such a reaction to punish him for what he had done.
- Have you ridiculed me, your brothers, our family, in the eyes of the royal family - the man said in an irritate tone -where were you all the time, Gilbert, when you were supposed to be together with your future bride? -.
Gilbert didn't answer, he didn't want to oppose his father, he was somehow afraid of him, so he just squeezed that long and precious green ribbon even more in his hands.
The viscount promptly noticed the presence of the ribbon, so he tore it away from his son's hand.
He looked at it for a long time, as if something about it attracted him.
-This ribbon does not belong to Isabelle- commented the man stroking the object with his fingers -Tell me therefore to which lady this ribbon belongs...-.
The general looked towards the cold white marble floor slowly taking his hands one inside the other.
-It belongs to a lady I deeply fell in love with...- answered the general finally looking up at his father -I can do nothing to deny my love for her ...-.
James Stanley seemed struck by that arrogant but sincere statement.
He smiled wearily, so that his faint smile was highlighted by the glint of the oil lamp placed on the precious solid wood bedside table.
-I don't know why but I was convinced that my own mistakes would one day be repeated by one of my children ...- commented the man almost with a look of surrender, sitting heavily next to his son.
-You have never wanted to know anything about your mother, either as a child nor now ...- commented the father placing one of his hands on his son's shoulder.
Gilbert took an almost angry look and his breathing began to become more and more tense.
-I didn't know there was much else to know apart from the fact that she abandoned me...- the general said coldly.
-Your mother did not abandon you: your mother loved you more than anything else in the world- James Stanley admitted taking off the white wig from his head and holding it tightly in his hands.
Gilbert was silent at that moment: he expected that once in his life that so hidden topic would have to be explained.
The general waited in silence for a clear and detailed explanation from his father.
-I was still quite young then, when the first council of Wales was held, the late king was still alive, the Baron of Scotland was still alive, like many of my peers- commented the man, lowering his melancholy gaze again at the long and soft green silk ribbon.
-During the year 1706 the Isle of Man, under the command of my uncle, Roland Stanley, my father's younger brother, was fighting alongside Scotland and England in the war of the three kingdoms- said the viscount remembering every little thing about his past.
-In the past I had an older brother: William Stanley, he was the last thing that remained to me after my parents' death, you never knew him: he died in war when I was seventeen. At the time I was thirty five, I was already married to Mary Morley, a young woman whom I freed from slavery. I was a different person: I had many lovers and outside my wedding I had generated your three older half-brothers. Anyway that year I had decided to follow my late father's footsteps seeking a solution to the Wales council- James Stanley began to explain -and it was at that moment that Lilian Pembroke entered in my life-.
Gilbert, began to be interested to the conversation.
-How was she? -the general asked him-was she beautiful? -.
The man was silent for a few moments.
-She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, she had long bright red hair like fire and two big blue eyes, the colour of the sea. She was about seventeen at the time and was at the time betrothed to the young prince of Spain Philip V-.
-Was she my mother?- Gilbert asked.
The man slowly nodded with his head before returning to observe the long and green ribbon that he was holding weakly in his hands.
-No one was aware of our relationship, at least not before young Lilian became pregnant- the father admitted placing the long green ribbon next to his son's body.
-And that child was me, as I can imagine...- Gilbert commented as the melancholic curiosity for that secret began to make its way into his mind.
-Lilian was still young, everyone started to speak about us, they criticised us. The Lord of Wales, her father, was so upset about the dishonour I had brought his family, he was planning to declare war agains Man-.
-He didn't do it, did he?- Gilbert asked putting his dark red hair more composedly on his shoulders.
-He did not because the army of Wales was already engaged in the war of the three kingdoms and had nothing else to lose- the man commented looking at his son.
The general felt a sense of hatred towards his father, he realised that he had done exactly the same thing.
And what if the same fate happened to Abigail, she was so young and didn't have the strength to raise a child on her own.
But all that he thought was only his imagination, he felt in his heart that all this would not have happened anyway.
-What happened then? - Gilbert asked slowly, feeling like a strong and painful squeeze in his heart -what happened to my mother? -
-She had a complicated childbirth, you really did not want to come out. I remember that day, I remember how that poor young woman had to stay in bed for several hours screaming and crying for the pain of birth. In that long moments I felt in my heart a strong hatred for the child that was coming into the world and causing so much pain to poor Lilian- admitted the father. -I knew it was not right, I knew you were my son, but I could stand and accept her suffering-.
A long and tense pause intervened between the two, no one had the courage to ask, everyone was afraid, resentful and sometimes felt hatred towards each other.
The night immersed the harsh scene with its own darkness, giving both father and son a strange feeling of sadness and melancholy.
-She died that same evening, she lost too much blood giving birth to you. You were born as an illegitimate child, and throughout my whole life I hoped that you might be worthy of being called my son-.
Gilbert had begun to forcefully bite his lower lip: it was as if he wanted to punish himself for something, until a strange and strong humidity reached his clear eyes.
It couldn't be, he wasn't used to that strange feeling, he hadn't cried for a long time.
Without knowing it he had fought the people of Wales, his mother's folk: his own blood.
The general had already shed so much blood, even before his birth. Now he felt tired, too much to fight.
-My name is Gilbert Stanley, grandson of the great Charles Stanley, who fought and died for the freedom and independence of our people...- the general reproached himself lifting his body from his bed -I belong to a family that has lived and fought to protect Man since eleven generations... And yet now you tell me that I would not be worthy to be called your son?! -.
- Having a name is not enough to be important, just as a right family is not enough to be a good person-. James Stanley scolded him, observing his son's humid eyes - if you want to show that you are as worthy as your ancestors, you just have to prove it...-.
Gilbert was tired but he knew that he would no longer endure such humiliation from his father.
-What should I do then to make you finally proud of me? - the general asked him.
-Save England, save Man, show submission to your family, I would like you to observe every political movement of your spouse and communicate it to me-.
The man knew his father and knew too well that behind such a question lay the curiosity of an important nation like France, which too tired from war wanted to ensure a lasting peace.
-This task is too risky, father...- commented Gilbert struck by so much impudence -If anyone found out what I am doing I would be condemned to certain death...-.
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