We have all asked the question, "Why?''.
"Why this?"
"Why that?"
But to be honest, we never really get an answer to that question when it's directed to God on the matters of life. When something goes wrong in a person's life they start to ask that question, subconsciously expecting an answer in return.
But they never get an answer.
Well maybe they do. Maybe somewhere in someway, the answer to their questions was whispered into the air and they were just too deaf to hear the voices in the wind. Or maybe, just maybe the answer is written, written on the ageless wall of time. But being blinded by the veil of the unseen we can not see what's in front of us.
I have asked why so many times that saying that, "I have asked the question why a zillion times." Would be nothing but overrated and an insult.
Even though I have been to the other side of the veil, the unseen and had asked that question, I still never understood.
I still couldn't see.
In all my life pain and loneliness are two words, that I understand the meaning of in every way possible.
Pain
It's something that I'm used to. But no matter how much pain I feel it's always painful. Always.
People argue, between physical pain and emotional pain which is worst? I'll say emotional is. It's a pain that hardly goes away. Especially when you're in it constantly. Emotional pain is something that you'll never forget, a scar that would forever remind you of what birthed it. And then you'll learn a lesson from it. Never to allow yourself to bare such scars again. A scar that you can never see but forever feel, that was the worst pain. That was emotional pain.
For me.
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me.
But it seems as if I could never get away from pain. Like I would never be free from it.
A slave.
I'm a slave, bound to my two masters. Till death do us apart.
How sad.
Loneliness
I'm used to it. I think I love it. No I don't think I love it, I know I love it. It's the only thing that brings peace to my world of pain and loneliness.
I thought my days of loneliness was over and that my pain would come to an end.
But I was wrong, so wrong that I still find my foolishness amusing. I'm sure the gods are laughing at me too, but not as hard as I'm laughing at myself.
So wrong.
Fool me twice, shame on me.