Chapter 92: Two sides of the same universe
The glittering caves had left him speechless and for once, Legolas had regained his humour by telling Gimli that only a dwarf could render them justice. Aglarond, as named by the Numenoreans millennia ago, shook him to the core such was the amazement of its pillars and structures. The natural light reflected on rock walls, shining like tiny diamonds, the caves glittering from the very bottom to the top of its elegant arches. It should have been … it WAS a magnificent sight.
But ever since the war, the elf only watched the world from afar. It was so rare now to marvel at the beauty laid before his eyes, his visit to Fangorn's forest only a reminder of his former ability to be joyful. For his sorrow was great, and expanding. Who would have believed it? That he could feel, now, more miserable than with Frances' blood coating his tunic? Yet, his despair kept growing, gnawing at the tiny threads of sanity.
Of Aragorn's coronation and wedding, he kept a few vague memories. A song, a ray of sunshine lighting King Elessar from above as if the powers had acknowledged his efforts. But no Valar had come thanking him, the wood elf, for his own sacrifice. The loss of his mate, her Feä torn from this world as she travelled to a strange place in the hope to be whole again. There had been so much blood, her blood, pooling on his skin, hot and sticky. Her life force fleeing her body as he held her, desperately praying, shaking like the leaf he was named after.
The sight would haunt him for the rest of his days.
Had she made it home alive? Had her doctors been able to save her? For months, he prayed. He had been so ready to follow her, saying his goodbyes in a flash to a stunned Aragorn on the battle field, a letter addressed to his father in Gimli's saddlebag. Braced for the loss of his family, his world, his forest, and the more than five hundred of his former life. He had lived aplenty; that choice was definitive.
But when his fingers had closed upon the void, the blue light taking Frances but rejecting him, Aragorn had to restrain him from doing anything stupid. For the first time in his life, Legolas had longed for death to take him! How ironic, after battling for his life like a demon, that he would so willingly choose to die. But the pain in his chest was so raw, so excruciating that he would have done anything to make it stop.
For days, he rode without a word, Gimli by his side. Until his the promise he had made to Frances took over. He needed to go on living; he had sworn to her, on the hill below the moonlight, that he would seek to heal. And this promise only kept him alive. Gimli took him to Fangorn to ease his fears and attempt to heal his Feä. Brave and gentle dwarf, who dared hoping that his friend could be whole again by wandering through the forest. But how could he, when every breath he took reminded him that half of his heart was missing?
Speaking of Gimli, the dwarf seemed to have disappeared. Not that it was uneasy, for the sheer size of the caves could have misled any living being. But not a dwarf, not THIS dwarf. Trying his best to focus on reality, and the present moment, Legolas started wandering through the caves in search of his friend. When a faint echo reached his sensitive ears, he knew he had found him. Cocking his head to the side, Legolas stretched his senses. But his ears could not peek more than a few shuffles; never before had Gimli been so silent.
Frowning, the elf wondered why his friend seemed so intend on escaping his notice. How preposterous for Gimli to believe that he could sneak away! Following the faint sounds that betrayed him, the elf's silent footsteps hid his stealthy approach to the oblivious dwarf. His steps lead him to the bottom of the tremendous cave, right into a narrow opening. Unbidden souvenirs of Moria, and the path of the dead were forced down without a second thought. The elf certainly did not want to revisit those, especially now that Frances was not there to share his misery.
Passing through dark corridors, and narrow passageways, Legolas progressed without a sound, alert. The light flicker of a torch led him all the way through the darkness. A thousand questions escorted his progress as he wondered where Gimli might be. He only hoped, with all his heart, that the dwarf had not fallen to his death somewhere. His silent approach went unnoticed; not a sound filtered through the damp corridor until he emerged on the other side. Yet, what he found stole his breath away.
Gimli knelt on the floor, facing a wall embedded with gems that reflected the torch light in a million sparkles. Still, something felt wrong. Gimli's stillness and the furrow of his eyebrows showed his intense concentration. What had his friend's attention so turmoiled that he wouldn't even register his presence in such a confined space? A rush of panic seized him suddenly, his eyes settling on the huge gem that stood but inches from the dwarf's face. Would dragon sickness claim his closest friend like it had claimed Thorin Oakenshield?
Legolas stomped on the ground on purpose, calling the dwarf's attention, his eyes set on his face. A flash of guilt passed through Gimli's eyes; it did not bode well.
"Ah, Legolas. My friend"
Said friend frowned at the dwarf's uneasiness.
"What have you found that has enthralled you so?"
Gimli was practically bouncing on his feet as he laughed.
"Me, enthralled? Come on, pointy ears, I am not one to be moved by pretty gems, although I can vouch for the quality of those. We are made of sturdier stuff that those wraiths. But come, let us resurface, I am sure you need to hug a tree after so much time underground."
The dwarf lifted his torch, and passed Legolas swiftly in hopes of escaping the vault. The sharp intake of breath from his friend told him he had been too slow. Damn him for letting his mind wander too long! He should have made sure to keep Legolas from seeing this.
Too late.
The elf's gaze was fixated on the gem, its colours revealed by the change of light. A blue so deep, deeper even than his eyes, an electric blue he had only seen once. Frances' necklace!
Legolas froze, and refused to budge.
Two days later.
Two days! Two days since he had reluctantly left the elf in that cave, and he was no closer to finding a way to extract him. Gimli paced, digging a trench in the dry ground, feeling totally at loss. Legolas was a wood elf, for Mahal's sake! Not fit to stay underground, especially without food nor sleep. But the last time he had checked on him, his friend had not moved, meditating, praying to the Valar, considering, pondering, in front of this damned blue gem.
And no matter how much coaxing and cajoling the dwarf had tried, Legolas had remained unmovable. How deeply he regretted now not to have fled the moment his eyes fell upon it! How stupid he had been, to consider if he should, or not, reveal its existence to his friend.
Gimli sighed. One more day. One last one, and he would find a healer to drug the elf's water pouch again. He would not let his friend here to die in front of a shiny stone‼! Granted, its colours were indescriptible, and the gem altogether magnificent. But it was just a gem.
The dwarf snorted. If Gloin, his father, heard him, he'd never hear the end of it. Granting more value to a pointy-eared friend than to such a tremendous gem, had his son gone totally mad through this quest? But Gimli had gone a long way from his former self by setting a foot in the golden woods. Galadriel, at first, had shattered his old beliefs. And Legolas's friendship finished the job.
The night was settling, dampness falling onto the barren earth of Helm's deep when a lonely figure emerged from the caves. Gimli squinted in the darkness. Was he dreaming, or was Legolas's inner light brighter than the past month? The elf plopped down beside him, his posture weary, but tension erased from his shoulders. Keeping his comments at bay about the less than graceful landing of his ever-perfect friend, Gimli waited for him to open up.
Long minutes passed before Legolas's voice was heard, and the dwarf carefully refrained from commenting. The brooding elf needed the release, and if he didn't bleed out his grief, Gimli would be overjoyed to hear him talk about it.
"I have prayed the Valar, a hundred, nay, a thousand times to bring her back to me. But as I settled in front of the rock that had the potential to do so, I suddenly realised I had not clarified the reasons for my plea."
Gimli nodded, his brows furrowed. What better reason than to ask for the return of his Feä-mate? But once more, Legolas's wisdom and selflessness struck him speechless.
"What if Frances has regained her world, got back to her friends, her family, her life? What if I tear her away from the place where she belongs in a selfish prayer?"
The dwarf grunted in displeasure.
"Legolas. I see how her absence affects you. It is dreadful ! I cannot watch your suffering and do nothing, what kind of friend would I be if I did not help you?"
The elf's blue eyes twinkled with unshed tears, marvelling at the loyalty of his newfound friend. For half a century, he had been prejudiced against dwarves, and found now that this connection ran deeper, stronger than most of the friends he had back home. Not that he could claim many by this title, being the Prince tended to create an unavoidable distance.
"And help me you did, and still do. But heed me Gimli, it is not my choice to make. The choice lies entirely with her, and even though she should decide to come back, I do not know if she would have the means."
"Legolas. You have strong ties to your world, strong friendships in the fellowship, and a duty to the people of Greenwood. Yet, for the love of her, you were ready to leave all of it behind!"
Gimli's voice had risen to a whole new level, matching his annoyance. He couldn't, for the life of him, understand the meaning of this conversation. Legolas loved Frances, Frances loved Legolas, period. Why was the pointy-eared discussing theology and ethics in such a moment?
"It would be unfair of me to ask so much from such a youth. I have had five hundred years to perform my duty and enjoyed my life with the people I loved. But Frances is human; her lifespan with her youngest brother is of twelve years only, and he is not grown up yet. It is, by no means, equivalent to what the Valar granted me. I cannot ask it of her. I will not"
Legolas's heart constricted. Despite his assured words, his rash decision to leave with Frances had been the most difficult of his long life. In the three seconds it had taken to decide, panic had settled in his heart. His father would have been devastated. And Estel, dear Estel to whom he had sworn an oath, the promise to help him rebuild Gondor and Arnor should the need arise. The thought of his betrayal to middle earth, to the Sylvan and Sindar elves of Greenwood longing for his return had covered him in shame.
But none of this could be mentioned; he would take it to his final resting place. No one, except for Aragorn and Gimli, knew about his rash choice on the battlefield. And it would stay so. Yet, his resolve had not faltered as his hand had grabbed the necklace … only to be left behind, wondering if she had died on the other side, utterly helpless. After nearly abandoning his people, he had abandoned her.
A log popped in the fire, and beside him, Gimil grumbled.
"I tend to forget how young she is…"
The elf sighed, putting those thoughts to rest. After his discovery in the glittering caves, things had considerably changed.
"So did I. For a daughter of men, I have found her very knowledgable, and wise beyond her years. Still, I knew that our time together would be short."
The dwarf snorted this time. Short did not even come close to the sorry excuse they had grasped, especially since those few days had been marred by the war with Sauron!
"A week ! A short time with her should have been seventy years, not a week ! Does it not make a difference to you ?"
Legolas's intense gaze darkened, matching the tightening of his jaw, as he bore holes into his friend's face.
"Do you really think I do not care, Gimli ?"
The dwarf blinked, surprised by his friend's outburst, but not by the lingering anger. He deserved every bit of it, and braced himself to take the brunt of Legolas's tongue lashing… which never came. As soon as the fire lit in Legolas's eyes, it was put out by a wave of sadness.
"It does … tremendously. But I cannot linger on what was not granted."
Getting frustrated with himself, Gimli tried to attack the problem at another angle.
"I understand. But we know nothing of her situation."
Legolas's head suddenly shot up, a sad smile spreading upon his lips.
"I felt her, while in the cave. The bond we share, dimmed to almost nothing, but she is alive ! I thought it was the proximity of the gem, this is why I refused to leave until I realised that I carry this bond within me. My distress was so great that I could not realise it sooner."
"This is great news indeed! Were you able to communicate with her ?"
"Nay. The bonds would not allow us to do so, it is mainly a connection within our two hearts, nothing so constructed as language or thoughts. But at least, it puts my mind to rest about her well-being. It did not abandon her to die in the unknown. My decision to send her back saved her life."
Gimli sagged, the news affecting him deeply.
"That's a relief."
"Yes. It will take time for me to accept that she is gone, but time is something that I have aplenty."
Gimli nodded. Acceptance. This would be a difficult struggle for Legolas. And to help him, he was ready to do the unthinkable. Gimli was going to follow along to Greenwood the Great, the only place on Arda he had sworn he would never set foot upon.
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