Chapter 11: [XI] - Altered Reflections
I followed behind my aunt anxiously, wondering what sorts of "changes" is she talking about. Isn't changing my outfit going to be enough? I'm always wearing a face mask, and glasses too. But now they are destroyed to pieces, landing on the ground so many times today. My dark mask is dirtied too. It's not like I don't have other masks… It's just the fact, that the best way you can blend in with the black surroundings, is to be a shadow in the darkness, be an ordinary copy among the crowds. Be a bat among other bats in the ominous space of the streets. I'm saying that no matter what I wear, I think I'm going to disguise myself decently.
My wardrobe is mostly filled with baggy, techware black clothes with some minimalistic extensions to the expedience of them. A lot of pockets in the clothes, comfortable shoes for running. This is something essential for the clothing of a person with a risky life like me. But now I know everything until today was just a piece of cake. No real struggles. You don't realize the power of a problem until you experience something much worse than you've lived.
In my upper clothing, a hood is necessary, to cover my long, messy hair, always getting into places where it shouldn't. And I think that's all I have to think about, when picking up a new piece of my closet.
We arrived in the bathroom, which was a medium-sized room, with a big mirror covering the whole wall. In one corner stood a little shower, at the others were cabinets with all sorts of equipment in there. Other facilities were included too, yet the bathroom had a lot of free space left. It was rather a dark place, enlightened with only little lights from the basis of the walls.
My aunt went to one of those cabinets, and started to search for something, making some noise. I stood there quietly, waiting, with nothing else left to do, other than watching my reflection in the big mirror.
A tall person, just right about 174 cm, was glancing insecurely at me. Holding her arms with long, pale fingers, as if she was trying to hold on to something that wouldn't let her drift away from the reality. She was wearing big, loose clothes covered in light dust and crimson blood. Her arms were soaked heavily, and a stain was visible at a few other places around her waist too. A black, long coat on the top of an oversized hoodie, with a belt keeping them two together. Jogger type trousers, tight at the bottom, but baggy as you look up. It may appear for this person to be quite thick, but actually, under these clothes, a slim woman was standing unsteadily. Dark, dusted shoes, reaching half of her calf, covered her legs, staying on her, being tightly belted with gray stripes. They appeared to be good enough to escape miles with them.
I took the hood of my head, and looked closer at the person in the reflection of my mirror.
The first thing that came to my eyes was a diamond shaped face, with a sharp jawline. Her olive green eyes, in the shape of big almonds, were staring at me intensely from under long, black eyelashes, piercing through my thoughts. But if you looked closer at them, it came out that the fascinating green color was actually the pale yellow in the center, and metallic blue color at the border of the iris, blending with each other. They were morosely looking at the world, and itching every time too much light came to them. Thick, black eyebrows were sharply indicating the stubbornness of this person. One look of her gaze, and you will question everything you've done. Her downward-turned, sandy-pink lips weren't smiling. They were dry and lightly cracked. When making a neutral face, they always seemed to curve in a rather sad face, with regretful thought in the mind of that person. But sometimes they dared to smile, and someone would say it was a most sincere smile ever. An upturned, delicate nose was decorating the middle of her face. But she still thought of it as the ugliest thing in her, as she thought it was too big and wide. Right now, she was looking quite pale, due to stress she went through today, but usually, her beige skin shines, reflecting all the lights of neons and electricity near her. Her face was mostly covered by a swarm of long, wavy, dark brown strands of hair. She thought of cutting them short so many times, but couldn't bring herself to doing that.
Her acute gaze and unusual looks were always attracting too much unnecessary attention. Everyone at first glance always thought that this person is too serious to get to know her better. On the other side, when she smiled, an opinion of foolish person popped in the minds of the other. The balance was too difficult to achieve. So, she always wandered alone.
This person reached her hand to the surface of the mirror, and touched her reflection, that was being trapped on the other side of the reality.
This person was me, staring right into my eyes, I was looking upon myself, my weird face which many times caused me to be in the center of attention. Was it because of my darker skin tone, or because of the color of my eyes? My nose was too big, my eyebrows were too thick, nothing on my face made me glad that I was myself. A unique set of features made me anxious about my face, and gave me another reason to cover it wherever I go. I grabbed a thin strand of my long hair, and twirled it around my slender finger.
And then, in the reflection, I saw my aunt standing behind me, holding some unknown bottles, and most importantly, a pair of long, silver scissors, shining in the dim light of the room. She looked creepy, as if she wanted to use those tools for not safe purposes. I turned myself towards her, and gave her a questioning look.
"What's that for?" — I asked inquisitively. She grinned lightly, looking at my long hair falling down with cascades on my shoulders.
"Has everyone ever told you, that you look like a teenager boy with an awful mess on his hair?"
"But I'm a girl."
"A man with a serious gaze like yours is more terrifying than a woman."
"What are you trying to tell me?" — I asked, despite exactly knowing what is she thinking about. — "Well… Maybe that's a wrong question. Why are you insisting on it like that? I'm always wearing a hood on my head. No one sees my hair, maybe occasionally…"
"Haven't you always wanted to cut your hair?"
I haven't responded to that. One of the reasons I haven't done it was because my aunt didn't allow it. She always told me that I look prettier with long, curly hair, reaching my waist. I disagreed. Having such a mess was so uncomfortable. My hair got everywhere, in my eyes and my mouth. No matter what arguments I told her to cut it, no permission was given. If not my respect for her, and the fact that she would be upset at me, to the point where she wouldn't even say a word, I would have done it a long time ago. The fact that she is so willing to give me a haircut, is shocking.
"Okay, but I still don't understand why do you want to do it suddenly like this?"
She didn't respond, she just smiled ominously. Something isn't right with her today. I just can't throw those thoughts out of my head. Her reaction to the footage, weird expressions on her wrinkled face, for the whole time. Stubbornness of her decisions, the will to make me stay at home, while I have unfinished business to deal with. The coldness of her glare, cloudy eyes, cracked lips and freezing mysteries. And I thought we told each other about everything. Yet, it turns out that the truth can never be completely discovered. It made me sad, that even my aunt, my only family, doesn't trust me. I am meant to be alone, am I not?
"Do it quickly. The time is running so fast." — I announced with a cold tone.
I suddenly felt the cold metal right on my neck. The chills stormed through my whole body, making me lightly shake.
"At least don't move." — Her mutter came to my ear. So, we are going to be cold for each other now, huh.
A loud, cutting noise pierced my ears. I felt a soft thing graze my back. A long, wavy lock of hair fell to the floor, creating a curved spiral of darkness, an arm of a black hole. The disaster is just starting.
The heavy, metallic noises were orbiting my head, which felt lighter with every second. I kept my eyes closed tightly because I preferred not to be a witness to this absolute change. They say a haircut can change a person into an entirely different one. I am about to feel it on my skin.
The last crack of the working scissors ringed like an echo. I still didn't want to open my eyes, and good thing I haven't done that because my aunt sprayed some weird mist above my head. Its particles were thick, and the smell was suffocatingly sweet. Suddenly, I felt her scratch my hair a few times, for an unknown reason. Then I waited in silence, realizing that it's probably the end of my metamorphosis.
I hesitantly opened my eyes, to greet my new appearance in the reflection. A slim, almost skull like face was glaring at me with big scared eyes, with purple bags under them. My face became paler, and more visible. Nothing got in my eyes anymore, as my long strands of brown silk were gone, lying like dark, stormy clouds on the ground. My new haircut was reaching to the half of my ears, still being wavy as it was, but much lighter and airy. The strands of my hair shined dimly in the pale light of the ground flashes. I looked like a young man now. I've always had too much testosterone as for a girl. Furthermore, I could say I have androgynous face features, making me a very questionable person regarding the gender. Maybe in fact, looking like a male will make others fear me more, and not pick me as a potential victim. But this is just gender inequality. When wearing a hood and my baggy clothes, no one can really identify me. I don't really understand the purpose of it.
"Now you look exactly like your-…"
She suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence, as if a burning charcoal dropped on her tongue.
I turned my head towards her, looking questionably into her green eyes. They were surprised, like if an accident happened suddenly.
"Like you. Just different." — She answered, giggling silently.
I didn't tell her to finish the sentence, I also didn't stop to look at her. I tried to enter her thoughts to finally understand what the fuck is happening. Her smile disappeared immediately, showing me her unknown to me face once more.
Today, I really understood that under a daily smile of her, she hid something inscrutable I haven't known about her. When facing difficulties, a person can change like the weather, with clouds blowing as the wind of danger tells them.
She glanced at the floor, sighing loudly.
"So much DNA…" — She whispered silently to herself, but I heard it anyway. — "Go get changed into some different clean clothes. I've washed some of them and put inside your closet. I'm going to tidy this place up."
I nodded because I felt uncomfortable with staying with her any longer. Another weird response. I just wished my old, caring aunt could come back. She would tell me not to worry, and that everything will be alright. Comfort me with some kind words, and tell me about the world outside. But today she said the something opposite. I exited the bathroom, and went to my room, to look for some clothes to change in.
•••
I came back to the main hall, after changing into some different colored and designed clothes. My trousers were tighter in comparison to the ones earlier, still dark, but with an orange stripe on each of the pant legs. They have also more pockets, I hid my memory device deep into one of them, and closed it with a zipper. I put on a big, black turtleneck, and a long, dark brown coat with a hood was covering my whole body. On my neck was my spare black mask. Sadly, I didn't have any darkened glasses left. They would complete my look greatly. I looked ready to go face my fears.
My aunt was standing by the big metallic door, leading to the outside hall. I steadily, walked up to her, but felt like my legs could collapse every second. I faced her, looking down at her pressing eyes.
"I hope when I come back, you will tell me everything you're hiding under that grim gaze of yours, auntie. I really thought we trusted each other…" — I felt that my words were little hurtful. I saw it on her face, she looked anxiously down at the floor, but quickly glanced at me back again. She knew I knew something. All of this wouldn't be so complicated if there wasn't a hook, I just don't know what it exactly was.
"You will understand me one day." — A quiet response got to my ears. I hope so, too. I reached my arms to tightly embrace her, for the goodbye. No matter how much she hides from me, how many more lies will I hear from her, she is still my aunt. I'm going to grant her safety no matter what. I am grateful for everything she did for me.
Right when I was about to pass through the unlocked door, I felt something warm in my hand. I turned my head down, and saw a metallic bottle, being handed to me by my aunt.
"Stay hydrated." — Her last smile before my exit was seen.
"Okay." — I replied. I couldn't bring myself to say anything more. I grabbed the bottle, took a sip from it, standing in between my home, and the long dark hall, leading to the outside. The liquid was warm, and weirdly sweet. I took a step further, and turned myself to see my aunt for the last time before I have gone. Her black silhouette was contrasting with the pale blue hall of my home. And then I turned again, facing the darkness of the corridor, and went into the unknown future, I haven't yet known is going to be so difficult.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone