Chapter 15: Chapter 14
Tubbo had spent a long time making the stage just outside of L'Manburg for the rally. It was a big wooden thing that you had to climb a small hill to stand on. In front of the stage was a stone platform in the ground with a few fancy chairs put in rows of four with a red carpet going down the middle.
Tommy and I had gathered, with Tubbo, to check that everything was ready. Sapnap and Punz had gathered and sat of the audience's seats, ready to begin. After an introduction and brief summary of the day from Tommy, Quackity and I had assumed our spots on the stage and started our short 'biography', as Tommy put it.
"Hello, hello!" Quackity says into the microphone. "Uh, first off I'd like to admit that George Notfound, my running mate, is unfortunately not here. He's… busy."
He looks around awkwardly at the four people in the crowd,
"Anyway, my name is Quackity, or SWAG, and I'm running for president because I'm standing up to the POG party and not letting Wilbur get away with a one-party election." He nods, "Also to make L'Manburg a better place."
Everyone claps, not a huge sound but his permanent grin widens, and he steps away from the microphone.
"Hi, my name is Wilbur Soot. I'm running for president because I thought it would be unfair for me to be a dictator, so I held an election." I ignore Quackity's snickering and continue. "You should vote for me so we can keep those filthy Dream SM-" I freeze as I realise that half the audience is from the Dream SMP, the silence is very awkward.
"Uh, I mean keep up the tapestry of our nation!" I finish lamely and step away from the mic. Tommy rushes up to the stand and runs up to the mic,
"Um, a brief recess before we continue!" He shouts at the silent audience. "Come with me." Tommy mutters at me, pulling my arm.
"Actually!" A voice shouts, "I have something to say."
I spin around to the familiar voice and see two fox ears connected to a young man in a suit. Fundy smirks at me and turns to the microphone.
"Let me speak." He says, voice booming out through the speakers. "I stand here before you, my citizens. And I stand humbled. Quackity has good intentions and Wilbur has years of experience but I, along with Niki, have a bakery and a dream. Vote for COCONUT, for your presidents and bakers for L'Manburg."
I had made my way down to the seats in the audience while Fundy spoke, but as soon as I sat on the chair I got straight back up and ran to the stand again. I'm getting too old for this. When I make it to the stage and grab Fundy's arm.
"I'm afraid that the ballot closed a while ago-" He yanked his arm out of my grip and glared at me.
"Are you trying to exclude us? Let us join!" Yelled, making a scene in front of so many people.
"Let them join!", people chanted in the crowd. I looked out, wincing then bent down to the mic.
"Uh- We have COCONUT, the third party that is joining POG and SWAG in the election."
~~~~~
The COCONUT party had run off after being asked if they had sponsors, which was a clear enough answer for me. We continued on, starting to share our sponsors.
People had joined the audience since the start, we now had Dream giving off a bored aura and Ponk being very receptive.
"Well," Quackity says, adjusting the microphone to his height. "I couldn't get any endorsements, but I asked KSI!" He laughs awkwardly.
"He hasn't answered yet… Um, yeah." He stands back beaming, but his eyes were filled with embarrassment. I stand up to the microphone and grin smugly into the audience.
"Unlike SWAG, POG has an endorsement." I look over at Quackity, he tilts his head and then I yell over my shoulder, "You can come out now." I turn back to the audience,
"Please welcome, J SCHLATT!" I thunder and watch the variety of reactions. Dream sits up straighter, Tubbo covers his mouth in shock and Punz grins at the new entertainment. A tall man in a suit, with brown greying hair and ram horns stumbles on stage.
"To the mic, wait you know what a mic is, don't you?" I mutter, leading him to the front of the stage.
"What do I say?" Schlatt asks, turning to me looking dazed. My eyes widen and I stutter,
"I- you're supposed to endorse us." I whisper harshly, motioning to the crowd. He nods slowly, scratching his mutton chop beard.
"Democracy!" Schlatt bellows, not using the mic that was at his chest. "Pretty cool!"
I had brought in Schlatt as POG's endorsement because it was unexpected. We had invited him into L'Manburg a long time ago, to be a part of our nation but Dream and his thugs literally chased him out of the SMP. They vowed that if he ever came back, they would not be so merciful. I had snuck him in, quite easily might I add, and had him hidden away for this moment. And now he's leaning against the mic stand cussing out Quackity, which was close but not quite what I wanted from him.
"Uh, I wouldn't vote for Quackity." He said, looking around. I gave him the thumbs up; he was kind of getting it. He grinned at me, eyes suddenly clear. "But I wouldn't vote for Wilbur either.
"I've heard about all this election bullshit. And I've decided that now that I'm back, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! VOTE SCHLATT FOR PRESIDENT!"
"OK!" I laugh loudly, leading Schlatt by the shoulders. "Thank you Schlatt!"
"SCHLATT FOR PRESIDENT!" Schlatt says with complete clarity, a complete turnaround from a minute ago. "I'LL DO IT MYSELF!"
I pushed the tall man to Tommy and ran back to the microphone.
"Tubbo can you come up here to uh, tell jokes or something?"
"Sure!" Tubbo chirps, passing a Tommy and Schlatt on their way to the audience's seats.
"I can't wait to sit next to my best friend Dream!" Schlatt slurs, back to his original state, an old delirious man.
"Be right back…" I assure the audience, then nodding for Quackity and Tommy to follow me into the 'white house', an old mansion converted to political building. We stumble into the massive house, closing the two wooden doors behind us and stand gaping at each other.
"I know we're opponents right now, but" I say, raising my shoulders. "But we have a slightly larger problem on our hands."
Quackity and Tommy laugh loudly, as is usual, but it's a nervous laugh. Quackity wanders up the stairs, over to the big glass window. I follow him and look up just in time to see an arrow with a deep green substance on the tip rebound off the window, cracking it.
"Schlatt's got a crossbow!" Quackity screeches, running away from the window and back down the stairs.
"Into the cupboard!" Tommy yells, holding open a door that leads to a cramped room under the stairs. I bound down the last three steps and whirl into the cupboard. Quackity sprints in, a terrified grin on his face and Tommy shuts the door behind him. I push a random chair under the door handle and puff heavily.
"WHERE ARE YOU, BOYS?" Schlatt bellows, from just outside the cupboard door. This whole situation had gone so downhill so fast. We all freeze, not daring to breathe too loudly.
All of a sudden, an axe smashes through the top half of the door and a smiley mask can be seen through the hole. The mask disappears and an old, deranged man appears in the hole, grinning like a maniac,
"HELLO MR. PRESIDENT!" I flinch as a poison arrow whips past my head into the wall behind me. With wide eyes I yell,
"OUT THE BACK!" and swing my trusty pickaxe through the wall of the building. A couple more swings and there's a hole big enough to climb through, slide down the mountain, cross the river at the bottom and run straight to L'Manburg.
As the three of us run I hear Schlatt's excited laughed echo from the white house. I look over my shoulder just for second to see Schlatt on the top of the mountain, aiming his crossbow and Dream passing him another arrow.
~~~~~
"What the fuck just happened!?" Quackity roars into the walkie talkie we had been using to communicate about political things. The two of us had split up with Quackity because he was not allowed in L'Manburg.
"We might not win this…" Tommy mutters to me, nervously tapping on the wall. We're in L'Manburg, in the van once again.
"Quackity," I address the man in the walkie talkie. "I propose something that is slightly… unorthodox."
"Yeah?" Quackity answers.
"If, in the case one of us doesn't win, we could pool our votes. POG and SWAG."
"SWOG!" Quackity cheers, "Wait. If one of us wins, the other is kicked out?"
"Yes," Tommy leans over, speaking to Quackity. "If POG wins, SWAG is left out."
"And if SWAG wins, POG is left out." I say over Quackity's angry sputtering.
"We both know that I'm not going to get any votes!" Quackity's voices going high and stressed. "Find a better option or I'll have to endorse a different party."
There's silence for a while, heavy defeat was starting to plague my mind.
"Quackity?" I asked through the walkie talkie. It turned on from the other end and instead of a high-pitched voice there was a rugged, distant voice.
"Six figure salary." Schlatt entices, "And a spot at my right hand." And after a beat an excited laugh rings out.
"LET'S GO!" Quackity yells, then holding the walkie talkie up to his mouth he yells,
"SCHLATT FOR PRESIDENT BOYS!"
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