Chapter 5: Remorse

Mrs. Robins

Every night I dream of the worst mistake I've ever made and I've been constantly tormented every night waiting for it to fall deeply, at first, I ignored it and wanted to think that it wasn't possible what was going on, but I've been around the matter so long and everything relates to each other, that clearly the answer was always before my eyes. I remember that night when I went out with my husband to a work party and left Leo with the nanny, I was upset about something that happened at the party and I told my husband to leave immediately, I came home in a rage and I honestly didn't think clearly, I went upstairs to go to my room and then I watched Leo's room was open and that made me so angry , that I would skid and close the door believing that Leo should leave that absurd tantrum, for which it had been more than a month, I know it was not his fault, but my emotions were mixed and clouded my weak judgment to let me go, instead of solving my affairs as the adult and mature person I am.

Even though he had made it clear that for no reason should I close it I did and I admit it with so much pain in my chest, because I still remember perfectly as he began to scream and knock on the door incessantly, I heard a loud noise, but I did not listen because I thought I had thrown something into his despair or eager to continue with his drama until they stopped listening to his screams and I went to sleep peacefully without knowing that the next day Leo would no longer be with me, that's when he disappeared and so far we haven't been able to find him, we have no clues, no help and every day I lose more than the little faith I have left.

Every time I think about it, a sense of guilt invades my head and tears come out of my eyes non-stop as a voice in my head constantly tells me and repeats, "It's your fault and you know it." Even if it's hard for me to believe it, it's true, even if no one wants to tell me, I know it's all my fault and I have to pay the necessary price for my unforgivable mistake.

Mr. Robins

I was coming to the entrance of the house while trying to communicate with my wife, lately she's been very sad like the rest of the family, I don't blame her because we both feel this pain of losing our only child, but I wanted to encourage her by inviting her to dinner to clear her mind a little, even if it's a few seconds. When I got home, I was horrified by what I saw, she was lying on the floor covered in too much blood on all her clothes, by her neck and a knife pulled beside her.

—Wake up Viviana, what did you do!? —He pulls out his cell phone and hastily calls 911.

—What is your emergency? —The operator asks.

—My wife, she's got a big neck wound and she's still bleeding, please send an ambulance as fast as possible —Mr. Robins explains with a lump in his throat.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later, fortunately they didn't take as long and Viviana still had a pulse when I checked before the paramedics arrived who took her without any problem in the ambulance to the nearest hospital at home. Fortunately, the wound was not deep and he would soon recover, he should only rest a few days before being discharged.

As the doctors predicted Viviana woke up an hour after arriving at the hospital and stitching her in wounds, when she woke up, she said, "It's my fault, I just wanted to pay for what I did" and I didn't know how to respond to that, I felt guilty for letting her carry that, I know she needs me too much right now, but somehow, I thought silence would cry out a little bit, instead of constantly overwhelming it with the reality we face, but now I know what I have to do.

Mrs. Robins

When I woke up in the hospital I had a dream again with Leo, I thought I had accomplished my task, but maybe it's not the time when I should leave, now I must fight to find my son and I can't forgive myself for what I've done to him, but I know he needs me and I know perfectly well because in the time I was unconscious I had another dream similar to the previous one where Leo was hiding in another room of the he was last time, he looked tired and it was very cold in that place, I could feel it and my little one kept shaking, the shadow came back in and Leo covered his mouth again and hid in the box next to him so that he would not notice that he was shaking non-stop, when the shadow retreated Leo told me "Help me mom, I can't take it here anymore."