Chapter 38: SCREW THIS FUCKING PLACE!
One bloodsucking vine, 20 bloodsucking vines, 100 bloodsucking vines. Okay, I give up.
I'M FUCKING SURROUNDED!
Help! What to do when surrounded by countless thorny plant tentacles? Please reply fast!
Fuck. God, I miss having the power to google shit up.
Keep calm. Oh god its crawling all over my legs.
Keep calm. Divine energy defense full power!
Can I play dead? ✖__✖
Oh god, it's all over my chest and arms now.
Please leave me alone. I'm not tasty at all.
I'm totally just a rock. Believe me!
All over my face too now.
Ok. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt.
I don't think these things' offensive power is high enough to pierce my skin.
If I don't move a muscle will it get bored and move to another target?
Wait …there is nothing else alive beside me here.
Can these things be called alive?
Does it have a mind of its own? Or just some kind of instinct driving it?
Isekai biology ain't my thing. More like is isekai biology even a thing?
I miss this elder of mine. I'm sure he would have known how to deal with this situation.
Ok. Whatever. I can do this.
I'll slowly move and get out of this place.
Slowly. Slowly. Never mind I'm stuck.
All these vines entangling me are the worst.
Focus. I need more power in my legs.
1…2….3…drag. One small step for man …one giant fuckload of these things crawling.
Like seriously. STOP FUCKING SQUIRMING!
All I did was take one step! Is it that big a fucking deal?
Apparently yes. Let me move again…oh fuck. Going fucking bonkers now.
Ok, let's wait. It takes a long, long while, but eventually, all the plants do calm down.
How about now? One step. Time to wait. One step. Wait. One step. Wait. One fucking godamn step. Fucking waiting like an idiot. 🐌
One way too small step. Precious seconds of my life going away.
One itsy-bitsy step. I'd rather do anything than stay here.
One motherfucking step. I could be petting Wolfie right now.
Once more. I could be eating barbecue right now.
One stride. Oh I wish I had some fire right now.
One pace. Burn this fucking forest down.
One move. I would have stayed in the Moon Keep dungeon had I known.
One stamp. Trampling on these fucking vines. Anyplace would be better than this forsaken place.
One step. Lots of tentacle fun! Woo! Kill me, someone. （ ￣ー￣）
How long has it been? I'm not sure. All I know is I lost count after a thousand steps.
To be fair a thousand steps is like 10 min….in normal circumstances.
I keep taking long ass breaks to calm the plants.
These things are trying to drag me backward from time to time. I need to resist.
It would be easier to figure out the time if I could at least see daylight. But nope.
This disaster zone is gloomy.
It would be way easier if these plants needed sunlight to grow….
*sigh*
I'm way too tired. Hum. Time for a nap. (-_-) zzz
Ah, 5 more minutes. Let me sleep. It's not even bright outside yet. Who is trying to wake me up?
This joke isn't funny. Let's see who…. ah…. right.
Motherfucking vines trying to eat me alive.
*Sigh*
Time to keep going.
One step at a time. It almost seems pointless. But I am making some progress.
*sigh*
****
HAHAHA. SUCK IT VINES!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY!
Not me. My looks are obviously too dashing.
But I'm finally fucking out of there!
Only a few more minutes and I'll be FREE.
Sayonara motherfuckers.
I'll take a bath, and eat, and pet Wolfie a bit, and have a long nice nap and I'll...….
What is that?
Oh no.
NO NO NO.
NONONONONONONONONONO.
In front of me is a fox. A shadow fox. Yes.
That tiny asshole. The same one that brought me here. (◕_◕)┌∩┐
I see a patch of darkness slowly move toward my position.
Then I get pushed and lose balance.
All this happening somehow stirs the plants.
WHY? FUCKING WHY? DON'T DRAG ME BACK THERE!
NOOOOOOOO! ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥o˂̣̣̥)‧º·
*DRAG*
****
F.
Okay. I'm stuck here.
Enemy #1 = vines, high count, not that strong individually, able to overpower me as a group (still not able to actually hurt me, just drag me wherever)
Enemy #2 = shadow fox. Fucking camper. Not that strong, but I can't deal with it and the vines at the same time.
Enemy #3 = is the mantis still there? I haven't seen it. Haven't sensed it either. While it can teleport it shouldn't be as sneaky as enemy #2. Chances are I won't encounter it but who knows.
How do you deal with a camper? A well-thrown grenade! ( ･_･) ﾉ⌒●~*
Can't do that.
Hum, against campers you can make sure to remain behind cover.
┬┴┬┴┤( ◕ ‿┬┴┬┴
The problem is even if it can't see me as long as it makes me lose my footing I'm screwed.
Oh, I have an idea.
What if I dig a trench as I move forward? It would help for sure.
Alright, let's do this.
One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait.
One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait.
One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait. One step. Wait. Dig. Wait.
Fuck this is gonna be long. Time for a time skip.
****
Time for round 2!
Enemy spotted!
Fox uses …. shadow hand? It's not very effective.
Instead of getting tripped, this time around I just drop into the trench I previously dug.
Yep cozy.
Vines are trying to grab me.
I'm stuck. For once that's good news.
Only issue is I won't progress this way.
Doesn't matter.
For the remaining distance, I'll move slowly. Burying my feet in the ground with every step.
Making sure I won't slip.
First gotta deal with that darkness magic overhead.
Focus. This shadow is only that, a shadow. There is no way it can hinder me when I'm prepared.
Circulate some divine energy.
Time to test it. YEP! I can do this!
Just you wait you little fox! I'm gonna let you have a taste of your own medicine!
Haha so what if you all gang up on me!
What doesn't kill me…. I'll get revenge for it.
Funny how I'm the one sieged from all sides, but the monster is the one getting freaked out.
Ever so slowly I'm making my way over there.
Keep using that puny magic of yours!
It will be all over soon. (◣_◢) ノ...⎧ᴿᴵᴾ⎫ (Fox's upcoming tombstone)
Well not that soon. I'd rather move slowly than fail.
But soon enough.
Only a few steps left!
HAHAHAHAHA.
Who's gonna get beaten up?
It has 4 legs.
It's pitch black.
It's getting scared the closer I get.
Answer: that fucking rank 2 weakling.
*drip drip*
What's that? Oh it's raining. Whatever.
As long as it's nothing dangerous.
*Sound of torrential rain*
WTF is that rain?! I don't remember there being rain ever here.
｀,ヽ｀ヽ｀,ヽ(ノ＞＜)ノ ｀,ヽ｀☂ヽ｀,
Is it magic? An unexpected attack?
Doesn't seem like it. I can't sense anything special.
Oh well. So what if I'm soaking wet? I'll survive.
Gotta pay attention to the vines and darkness magic.
I'll just keep going and…. *SLIP*
NO!!!!
The ground is so muddy that even while being careful I end up slipping.
The last thing I see before getting dragged backward again is a motherfucking cackling fox.
SCREW THIS FUCKING PLACE!!!! (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Zombie
Zombie So close ! So damn close !!!!
TUG Sequel Coming Soon!!!!
Volume 1 here, Volume 2+ = New Novel Page (Classless Ascension)
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