Chapter 32: Gone
Tamako tried to keep calm as they moved, flitting between people faster than one could blink. Despite the terror that had managed to shake them to the core of their being a few short minutes ago and the concern that they felt for Izuku, they tried to keep all of that pushed down as they focused on their task. Not only would anything they failed to keep down be felt by those that they came into contact with, but it was imperative that they succeed, and they couldn't let anything get in their way.
Tamako didn't fully understand the situation, but they had gotten flashes of Rei's memories through the panic and fear that both of them felt, and of the little they understood from their limited life experience, none of it was good. The surge of primal emotion they had felt from Izuku when Rei told Tamako to help him only made matters worse.
If Tamako had a physical body of their own, it would've shivered at the memory of trying to return to Izuku. As it was, the person they happened to jump to in that moment shivered for them.
They had snapped back to Izuku down in the ring almost instantly, expecting to enter into his mind in the odd joined-but-layered manner that they had come to associate with being with him, only to hit an impenetrable wall of rage and terror. Whatever had been going through his head was much too loud for Tamako to get past. More than that, it had felt like Izuku was vehemently rejecting the presence of anything foreign in his mind. Tamako hadn't even been able to get close enough to try to talk to him. It felt similar to when they first encountered Izuku, and had been subsequently cast out.
And now, Tamako was left searching. Not for Izuku, but for Rei.
Tamako had found Izuku immediately after Rei had told them to go. The nature of the way they were joined gave Tamako almost an intuitive sense of where Izuku was, and anytime they wished, they could jump back to him.
He was huddled in a restroom. Alone and very clearly still working through whatever was happening. Tamako had attempted once again to get to him, but could barely even make it far enough to speak to him. They had been able to get a glimpse of his senses and his thoughts, almost a snapshot of everything he was seeing, feeling, and thinking in that moment. That was the only reason they even knew where he was.
They were able to see enough to tell that he was in a restroom, and feel enough that he was experiencing pain that wasn't quite real. Mostly though, they saw a flash of memories that matched up with Rei's while painting a much worse picture and heard a constant mantra of 'nonono' from him. He didn't respond to anything Tamako tried to say.
So, as much as Tamako had wished to stay there and help Izuku, the only thing that they could do was get Rei and lead her to him.
But while they could get to Izuku immediately, the same could not be said for Rei. Tamako didn't know where she was, they only knew the approximate direction that they had jumped from when returning to Izuku. Now they had to jump through everyone in that direction to find her.
Tamako urged themself to move faster. They still didn't quite understand what was happening, but they knew that Izuku needed help. It hadn't been very long since they met and Tamako joined him, but they had come to like being with him quite a bit. It didn't sit right with them that he was alone and afraid.
Part of it was the simple fact that Izuku recognized them as their own being – something that even Tamako themself hadn't been able to see previously – and allowed them to explore their newfound self-awareness. But then there was also the fact that Tamako had access to Izuku's mind, and could see his thoughts.
They saw how fascinated and excited Izuku was about them as a quirk and as a – for all intents and purposes – new sapient being that had been introduced to the world. They saw the fondness Izuku held for Rei and Ochako, how much he cared about them. They saw how much Izuku cared about what he did every day, whether that be his analysis, his vigilantism, or even something as simple as cooking a meal.
Tamako saw almost everything. They probably had a clearer, less-filtered view of him than anyone else. And the few times they had gotten a glimpse at Izuku's – surprisingly negative – opinion of himself, Tamako found themself disagreeing wholeheartedly.
How could they see all of that and not like him?
Eventually, they found themself back in the room that Rei had been watching the fights from, the particular mind they landed in making them falter for a moment at the sheer speed of the thoughts that went through it. The speed and incredible volume of information almost matched up to Izuku. The only difference – also the only reason they faltered – was that Tamako wasn't partially separated from it as they were with Izuku.
They pushed past the short instant of surprise, quickly focusing back on their task. Using the room as a landmark of sorts, orienting themself with it, Tamako jumped away again, heading for where they thought Rei might be.
They would help Izuku, no matter what.
---
Rei cursed under her breath as she checked another room and found it empty.
She'd made it to the ground floor, around the area that she thought the tunnel led to, but she wasn't having any luck finding Izuku. Every room she checked was empty, and her frustration was quickly mounting with each successive failure.
She didn't like this. She needed to find him. He needed her help, and right now she was failing him.
As she checked yet another room, finding it empty, and just as she felt like she might tear up at the frustration, she felt Tamako enter her mind, going so fast that they almost disappeared again before they finally settled.
"I found him!" They announced, before Rei could ask. "He's in a restroom close by!"
She spun around immediately, frustration forgotten as she looked down the hallway in both directions. 'Which way?'
"Right." They answered.
Rei took off, cursing internally as she moved with as much speed as she could muster. This was the direction she had come from. She'd been going the wrong way entirely.
Following Tamako's guidance, it didn't take long to reach a pair of restroom doors that, as far as Rei could tell, were fairly close to the contestant waiting rooms. As they drew closer, she could see where one of the door handles looked crushed, as if someone had grabbed it with far too much force, leaving an impression of their hand.
She slammed into the door, barely slowing down as she attempted to throw it open, but didn't accomplish anything aside from smacking her forehead against it. She rubbed at her head, letting out another curse that only Tamako could hear.
Trying to open it again, a bit more sensibly this time, she found that it wouldn't budge. It was locked, or was otherwise stuck as a result of something Izuku – because there was no doubt in her mind that Izuku was on the other side of the door, even if Tamako hadn't been there to confirm, she would've known – had done to it.
"Izuku!" She called, smacking a palm on the door. "It's Rei. Can you open the door?"
She waited a few moments for a response. For him to open the door or at least say something, but there was nothing. It was unnerving, and had her anxiety rising with each passing second.
A sprinkling of fear was there as well, rapidly making itself known. Different from the fear she already felt from the situation, it was fear that she might know why he wasn't responding.
'Tamako.' Rei said. 'Can you get to him? Try to talk to him? Anything?'
"I tried." Came their reply. "He wouldn't listen, or couldn't hear me. Either way, he wasn't respond-."
'Try again.' She cut in, fear spiking as Tamako's answer lined up with her suspicion. 'Please.'
Tamako vanished without question, and Rei prayed that she wasn't right, that Izuku wasn't gone.
'Please Izuku.' She begged. 'Don't leave me again.'
A long – too long – minute of tense waiting and Tamako returned to her, and her fear and anxiety surged with their words.
"He still won't answer me. It's like he can't hear anything I say."
No no no. It was too similar.
"Izuku!" She yelled again, slamming her hand against the door even harder.
Breathing heavily, Rei grasped at the door handle and prepared to try to break the door open. She wasn't sure if the single weak strength quirk she had was enough for that, but she couldn't just stand there and do nothing. She needed to get to him.
Before she could do anything though, Tamako spoke up again.
"Rei. There's someone coming from your right."
Sparing the length of hallway to her right a single glance – just because there was someone coming didn't mean that she would stop trying to get to Izuku – she saw someone running towards her. It was someone she recognized immediately, despite never actually seeing him in person before. Izuku had talked about him plenty of times before, and his black outfit and the capture weapon around his neck was easily distinguishable.
The sight of Eraserhead coming towards her was enough to halt her incoming desperate attempt to open the door.
"Etsumi." He said, out of breath as he slowed his approach. He pointed at the door she was at. "Is he in there?"
"Yes. But he won't open the door. He isn't responding at all."
Eraser nodded, before raising his hands to fumble with a ring of keys that Rei hadn't noticed him carrying. Her eyes widened when she realized what he was doing and backed away from the door.
It didn't take Aizawa long to find the correct one, and once he did he had the door open in an instant, immediately shoving it open to get inside, with Rei following right behind.
She caught sight of Izuku as soon as she entered the room, and time seemed to freeze, as if she had that one quirk Izuku had: 'Quick Thinker.'
He was tucked into a corner, tail coiled haphazardly across the room, and even with the tip of one of his wings trapped under it. His hands were clamped to the sides of his head, and she could see where he must've torn at the collar of his shirt at some point. His eyes were trained on them, but she could tell with just a look that he wasn't present.
Rei felt relief flood her body when she saw that. When she saw that he was at least reacting in some way to what was going on. He wasn't completely nonresponsive.
She couldn't be sure what exactly he was seeing – though she had a pretty good guess – but it wasn't either of them. Following his gaze, she realized it was trained on Aizawa. The man, wisely, hadn't traveled more than a step or two into the room, but he happened to be closest. Whatever part of Izuku that was present had locked onto that fact.
Rei's eyes widened as she got a feeling, almost like a premonition, or maybe just a sixth sense regarding her brother. Something in Izuku's eyes changed, and before she could fully process it Rei was lunging forward and grabbing at Aizawa's capture weapon.
She yanked him back, and in the blink of an eye a blast of air exploded through the room. When Rei's eyes caught up with what just happened, she saw that Izuku had changed positions, no longer giving of the impression of someone that was panicking. His expression had hardened, and the air around him had changed.
He had moved forward, and his fist occupied the same space that Aizawa's head just had.
Rei gulped. Izuku had very rapidly gone from someone in the middle of a panic attack to someone prepared to defend himself from a perceived threat.
He still didn't seem like he was present, but some part of him was definitely aware of his surroundings and was clearly associating them with whatever was going through his head.
That thought alone, that Izuku was unconsciously trying to defend himself, was almost enough to scare Rei.
Izuku was the strongest person Rei knew, and was on the same level as, if not greater than, All Might himself. Usually his brilliant mind was the one in control, restricting that ridiculous strength to only what was necessary for the situation.
If he was utilizing that strength unconsciously, or worse, utilizing it to defend himself while most likely reliving the worst moment of his life, then there was a very good chance that-that strength would not be limited. Whatever part of Izuku that was in control would likely do whatever was necessary to ensure his safety from what he saw as a threat, just as he had done on that night. Actually, Rei was all but certain that the only reason she had succeeded in saving Aizawa was that Izuku's wing was still trapped under his tail.
The only reason Rei wasn't scared – it was a very close thing, but not quite – was because of how well she knew him.
Rei knew how much she meant to him, how much he cared about her. She knew how protective he was over her. She knew that, at the very core of Izuku's being, he would rather die than hurt her. And as much as she disliked that sentiment, as much as she wished it weren't the case, she would make use of it in this situation, and hope that it would be enough to at least snap him out of the daze he was in.
"Izuku." She said, as he lowered his arm and edged forward a bit. "Stop."
She moved as she spoke, positioning herself to better block his route to Aizawa, who was still his focus.
Immediately, Izuku's eyes snapped to her. At the same moment, he seemed to snap back into himself as some amount of awareness returned to his eyes.
"Rei…" He whispered, voice raspy, before his face contorted into a pained grimace and he fell forwards. Luckily, Rei was there to meet him, catching him.
Her arms wrapped around him almost automatically, just as his wrapped around her, trembling slightly.
"Rei." Izuku repeated. "It won't stop. They-. They won't go away… He won't go away."
Rei's heart broke at the defeat in his voice, the pain carried with each word, and at the realization that he was reliving that particular memory. He shouldn't have had any of that. He didn't deserve to have to go through what he did.
She shushed him, moving a hand to the back of his neck. "It's alright. You're alright. You're safe."
Her eyebrows scrunched up when he didn't react. She would've expected him to speak again, hug her a bit tighter, or maybe relax the slightest bit at the hand on his neck – as bad as he was right now, Rei could count on one single hand the number of times Izuku hadn't reacted positively to her doing something like that, even during similar situations – but he did none of those things. In fact, he didn't seem to be moving at all. Even the slight trembling she'd noticed wasn't there.
Rei's earlier anxiety was back when she realized that Izuku was utterly still, practically frozen. Even his breathing had started to even out.
He wasn't okay yet. It still might happen. He still might end up leaving her.
'Please, Izuku.' She begged again, hugging him tighter. 'Please stay with me. You're safe. You don't have to go.'
---
Izuku hated this.
Not just the terror that ran rampant through his mind, or the ghost sensations dancing across his body, or the flashes of vivid memories – though he hated those too of course. He despised both what he was feeling and the reason he was feeling it with every fiber of his being – but what his response to those things was.
Back when… it… took place, all those years ago, after the shock and adrenaline had faded away and he was left with a host of things in his head that he hadn't had the ability to understand, his response had been to shut down entirely. To block out everything in an attempt to cope with it, to feel some amount of safety from it.
The worst part of it was that he hardly retained any memories at all of that time period, despite the quirks that should've ensured otherwise.
He could recall the event itself of course, a short period afterward where he could barely eat or sleep because of everything that plagued his mind, then his next full memory was coming back to awareness and Rei telling him that he had been virtually nonresponsive for about seven months. The only memories in between were faded and incomplete, similar to what one might recall after waking up in the middle of the night and falling back asleep.
And now, even as Rei held him, even though her mere presence had partially broken him free from the stranglehold his memories had him in, he could feel the urge to do it again, to let everything fade away and hide from the world. Already his vision was blurred around the edges and he was starting to feel oddly detached from himself.
Izuku hated that-that was still his response. He could understand why he had done it originally: he was young and didn't understand any of it, and had no other way to experience any form of safety other than to hide from everything. But why now? Not only was he smarter and more mature – mature enough to understand and fully grasp what had happened – but he was so much stronger than he was back then.
He had an entire arsenal of powers beneath his skin. He had enough strength in his limbs to move at the speed of sound and topple buildings, and the ability to withstand blows even from All Might himself. He'd been fighting for most of his life and had accumulated enough combat experience to rival even some of the most seasoned heroes.
All that put together and he likely ranked among the most dangerous combatants in the world, and he would only continue to grow stronger. He should have no reason to hide away in order to feel safe. Even the source of his resurgent memories, Shinsou's quirk, hadn't been enough to fully incapacitate him. He managed to break free of its total control with time.
Izuku was safe. He had to be. There was no other alternative, not with the power at his disposal and Rei here with him
His hands shook as they gripped at Rei's shirt.
So then… Why…
Why did he feel unsafe? Even with how much he'd grown, everything he'd done and everything he'd become, why did it feel like he'd been reduced to the virtually powerless child in that alleyway all those years ago?
Why couldn't he just move past it?
Izuku continued to stare into the middle distance, even as he heard Rei whispering something in his ear and felt her resting a hand on the back of his neck. He couldn't quite shake the blurriness around the edges of his vision, or the urge to simply let go and let everything fade away.
It felt like he'd be trapped in this state forever, stuck between awareness and dissociation. Despite how much he wanted to – he did want to, right? – he just couldn't make the final push.
Eventually – seconds or minutes or hours later, he couldn't really tell at the moment. Apparently the partial dissociation that tempted him extended to his perception of time as well – that final push did come, and it came in the form of Tamako.
He felt the presence on the edge of his mind, and with it came a fresh bolt of panic shocking through him. He very nearly rejected them, ready to do anything he had to-to avoid someone else trying to take control, before he realized that this time the presence felt familiar.
Izuku blinked, his vision focusing somewhat. 'Tamako?'
He heard something that sounded like a sigh of relief from them, despite such a thing not being necessary, or even technically possible. "Thank goodness." They said. "I thought you were going to block me again."
Again? Izuku blinked once more, and the corners of his mouth downturned ever so slightly. Had he blocked Tamako out at some point?
"You did." They answered his unspoken question. "I tried to reach you earlier, but you couldn't hear me. I could barely reach you at all."
Oh. He hadn't even noticed. Had that been during his episode in the bathroom, before Rei showed up, or was it in the ring when it first started-?
Actually, never mind, he didn't want to know.
He knew everything he needed to. Which was that, despite how much he wished otherwise, he was still haunted by those memories, and was still weak to mind related quirks. However, he also knew that he was with Rei now, and Tamako. And he now could feel for sure that he wasn't about to dissociate again.
Izuku shook his head, before dropping it to rest on Rei's shoulder. The relief he felt at no longer almost falling into a self-created abyss was immense. And now, he just wanted to rest with his sister.
---
Rei very nearly let out a sigh of relief when she felt Izuku finally relax in her grip. He gave his head a slight shake, before pressing his forehead to her shoulder and letting out a shuddering breath.
"Rei…" He whispered.
She rubbed circles between his shoulder blades with her palm, relaxing a bit herself as she realized that the worst had passed. He'd finally broken free of whatever he'd been seeing, and the urge to dissociate that Rei knew he was experiencing.
Words couldn't accurately describe the relief she felt at knowing that he'd managed to work past it. She would never say as much to Izuku, as she didn't want him to experience any more guilt than he likely already did, but that time period where he had shut down, and especially when it first happened, had been the worst time of her life, even taking into consideration all the time before she had run away from home, and the day that her father found her again.
It happened completely out of nowhere, which was the worst part.
Immediately after the incident, when she had finally calmed down enough to begin to think properly, she carried him back to their hovel on the beach. It wasn't until later that she realized that she should've taken him to a doctor of some sort, but by that point Izuku had already healed himself with the healing quirk he acquired barely a month earlier – she would also learn much later that-that quirk was the only reason he survived at all. That sort of physical damage was far too much for even adults to handle most of the time, let alone a six-year-old child –, and even if she had been in a proper state of mind to think of that, she hadn't had the faintest idea of where to even find one.
For the first day or so, Izuku was all but inconsolable. His young mind couldn't comprehend what had happened to him or why – even Rei could barely wrap her head around it, and she was already accustomed to the idea of an adult having so little regard for a child, their own child no-less, that they would hurt them in barely imaginable ways – and he couldn't find a way to properly cope with it.
Then, at some point during the night afterwards, when Rei had managed to fall into a restless sleep after calming Izuku down from a nightmare – he'd only managed to fall asleep to begin with after activating his snake tail quirk –, it happened.
She had woken up to find him staring into the distance, his face expressionless.
At first, she simply thought that he had calmed down somewhat, until she tried to speak to him. Doing so had yielded no response, nor did nudging him, or yelling, or shaking him.
He was there, his eyes were open and he was breathing, so she could tell that he was alive, but he wouldn't react at all to anything around him.
Nothing that she had tried was enough to snap him out of it. No amount of yelling or shaking or begging him to come back had any effect other than to increase her fear that he might never come back.
She had been sent into despair, thinking that her brother was all but dead, lost forever. The only even survived was the sliver of hope she had that maybe he would come back one day, and that she needed to take care of him until he did.
And Rei did. She took care of him for seven long months. It was hell to go out every day to find enough food to feed them both, and almost as bad was the fact that she had to leave him behind in the dump every time she did, but she couldn't exactly take him with her, and even if she could, the thought of him possibly getting hurt by someone when he couldn't defend himself was worse than the idea of leaving him.
For months, she persisted, doing everything she could to keep him healthy and to try to wake him up. During that time, Izuku was in a constant cycle of sleeping, occasionally being interrupted by nightmares, which were the only times that Rei saw even a hint of consciousness , and staring off into the distance. The only interruptions to that set pattern were when Rei managed to lead him out of the car that served as their shelter and into the sunlight.
It eventually got to the point where she had started to lose faith that he would wake up, and she found it harder to get up every morning.
Then, one day, he simply came back, as if waking up from a short nap, instead of a near-coma that had lasted months.
Rei had been huddled up in their decrepit-car-turned-home, doing her best to stomach the nearly rotten piece of fruit she'd found, with Izuku right next to her, bundled up in almost all the blankets they had and still staring off into space, when she felt him stir. She reacted immediately. She had been right next to him almost every second of the many months he'd been unresponsive, and she could almost count on both hands the number of times he'd moved on his own. Each time was either followed by, or the result of, a brief return to consciousness. When she turned to look at him, he had a dazed – dazed but present – look on his face, exhaustion obvious in his expression, and looked at her in confusion. His first words after all that time were to ask, voice hoarse from disuse, what had happened.
It was safe to say that-that particular incident was the most Rei had ever cried.
With Izuku awake again, their lives quickly returned to normal – or as close to normal as their lives could get. They did their best to survive, scavenging for food together, avoiding those that didn't care that they were children, and struggling to keep warm on the beach.
However, despite being exactly what they did before, there were a number of key differences that always served as a reminder that things could never quite go back to how they were.
For starters, Izuku essentially never left Rei's side. It wasn't very different from before the incident, but because of what happened, it had become more necessary than it ever was before. Izuku couldn't stand to be away from her. Any time he was for an extended period of time, he quickly began to panic.
There were also the nightmares that he endured most nights. Terrors that haunted him almost as soon as he closed his eyes. Terrors that, when he was subjected to them, would only ever be dispelled by Rei's presence. A fact that only served to intensify his dependence on her.
He also struggled to regain the strength he had lost. As hard as Rei had tried, she just couldn't do enough for him to remain as 'healthy' as he had been. She could, and did, do everything in her power to provide as much food as possible, but she could do virtually nothing when it came to Izuku getting exercise. So when he finally woke up, he was much skinnier than he ever was before.
Thankfully, that could be at least partly rectified as soon as he started to move again. And since he rarely left Rei's side, she was always within reach to assist him if necessary. Plus, it wasn't as if returning to his previous bodyweight was an unreachable goal. He was already malnourished and skinny before the incident.
The biggest issue though, came from his snake tail quirk, or rather, from a lack of it.
She could remember the first time he deactivated the snake tail quirk after the incident as vividly as if it had happened yesterday. It was about two weeks after he woke up and became aware again, and he went to change as was his normal routine before the incident, so Rei could lift him into a particularly tall dumpster to search for food. He'd been halfway through the process of transforming, leaning on Rei for support as his tail shrunk, when he went stock still, with even the transformation freezing partway through.
Rei could distinctly remember the few short seconds of deathly silence, where the world around them seemed to have gone completely still.
The silence was broken by Izuku's screams. The partial transformation reverted so quickly that Rei thought it might've been painful for him, and he was immediately lost in his own world, screaming bloody murder.
As far as Rei could tell, something about not having the tail reminded him of that day. As much as she wished that she didn't understand, she could see perfectly well how not having the tail, which altered their biology by completely changing the lower half of their bodies into something that only resembled human on the broadest of observations, would make him feel unsafe.
Whether that was the only reason, or there was something else that she didn't see, he didn't try to deactivate it again for another four months.
Afterwards, for the longest time, Rei kept a close eye on Izuku. Not to, in any way, restrict him or be overprotective, but to be on the lookout for even the slightest sign of a panic attack. Even after he got his first intelligence quirk and his mind was forcibly matured – more than it already had been – it still wasn't a very rare occurrence for him to get overwhelmed if he went too long without his snake tail, or after spending any prolonged length of time away from her, or after going too long in the presence of an adult, particularly an adult male. Whenever such a thing happened, her automatic response was to calm him down as quickly as possible – as much physical contact as possible was the best thing for that – and pray that he wouldn't end up leaving her again.
She squeezed him tighter. The whole situation might've been horrible, but they would get past it together, as they always had. For now, Rei was just happy that she still had her brother.
---
Ochako was breathless when she caught sight of Mister Aizawa standing in a hallway, looking into what she was pretty sure was a bathroom. Despite that, and the fact that she was still a bit tired from her fight with Tsu, she picked up the pace. She knew that this was what she was looking for. The sight of a snake tail trailing partially out into the hallway made that obvious enough.
She wasn't sure exactly what had happened. All she knew was that, whatever it was, it was bad.
She had already been a bit surprised at how long Izuku's match seemed to be going on. Part of her had expected it to be over as soon as it started, but instead, him and his opponent said something to each other and he went still, hunching forward slightly, with Shinsou continuing to speak.
This had gone on long enough for Ochako to start becoming concerned. It unnerved her, seeing Izuku so expressionless and empty. He was generally a stoic person, but he still displayed emotion. It was simply a matter of whether someone knew him well enough to see it.
Then, when it had gone on long enough that even some of the other students were beginning to comment on it, Ochako felt… something.
That something was intense and staticky and filled the air, seeming to weigh down on her enough that she found it difficult to breath. It made her skin tingle almost painfully, like an extreme case of pins and needles across her entire body.
Down in the ring, she distantly noticed that Izuku was moving again, looking up at Shinsou.
But instead of finally fighting, he just straightened himself up, and the something in the air intensified, making her vision go blurry around the edges and making her body not want to cooperate. She couldn't even look around her to see if anyone else was feeling it. It felt like there was something indescribably heavy hovering over her head, ready to crush her at a moment's notice.
It kept growing stronger with every second, until her vision blacked out almost entirely and she could barely breath. Then, suddenly, it was gone, as if it was never there in the first place. Once she managed to blink away the fuzziness in her vision and looked back at the ring in time just as Midnight was announcing Izuku's victory, she saw him already heading back to the tunnel with Shinsou on the ground.
Once again, she noticed that something was off. Something in his expression. She couldn't quite place it, but even though he looked calm on the outside, something about him was wrong.
She felt a bit of anxiety bubble up at the sight. It was like a feeling in her gut now. She had no idea what was going on, but for some reason she had a feeling that Izuku wasn't okay
As soon as Izuku was out of sight, she jumped up out of her seat. As best as she could at least. Whatever that feeling had been – that she was starting to realize had come from Izuku – it made her legs unsteady as she tried to stand.
Once she no longer felt like she would collapse, she took off, heading for the waiting room. If the feeling in her gut was correct, and something was wrong with Izuku, then he would most likely still be somewhere around there.
When she reached the bathroom, Ochako barely slowed as she charged straight past Mister Aizawa, entering the room. The first thing she noticed was Izuku and Rei in the middle of the room, holding one another. Just a glance told her that she was right, Izuku definitely wasn't okay. Just that single glance had her comparing the sight in front of her to the one that occurred barely two weeks before, on the night that Izuku told her his secret.
Ochako noticed the difference right away though. On that night, Izuku had been hurt and exhausted, but was otherwise okay, especially after he revealed his quirk and his background. Now though, he almost looked scared, and panicked.
She also noticed the way he startled ever so slightly at Ochako's entrance. That, just as much as everything else, confirmed that there was something wrong. Thankfully though, he seemed to relax when he saw that it was her.
She was at their side in an instant, reaching out but hesitant to actually touch Izuku. Something had happened, and that something was significant enough to put him in this state, looking afraid for the first time Ochako had seen him, and actually flinching at just her entrance into the room. She didn't want to make anything worse.
"What-. What happened?" She asked. "Are you okay?"
Izuku huffed, before putting on a small smirk that Ochako could tell was fake. "Mind control quirk." He said, voice a bit raspy. "Not exactly my favorite thing in the world.
Seeing the confused expression on her face, he continued. "Later, okay? I'll tell you, but not right now. I've already dealt with those memories enough for one day.
Then, he offered a hand out to her, pulling her close when she accepted it, joining them.
Ochako couldn't be sure how much time passed like that, but eventually Mister Aizawa spoke up, breaking her from her thoughts.
"Uraraka." He said. "Your match is up next. It begins in fifteen minutes, assuming you still wish to participate. If you don't, I'll let Present Mic and the others know, and they'll adjust as necessary."
Her refusal was on the tip of her tongue, an instant from being spoken, when one of Izuku's hands landed on her shoulder.
"Go." He said. "I'll be fine. There's no reason for you to withdraw."
Ochako still wasn't sure, but another look at the insistent look in Izuku's eyes, and her expression hardened in determination. Right, she wanted to do her best to announce her presence to the world and get another step closer to her goal. Izuku would be okay – there was no one better for him to be with than Rei, after all – so all she had to do now was focus on the fight so she could get back to him.
"Alright." She responded. "I'll go win, then I'll be right back."
She saw his grin – not faked this time – as she turned around, already walking towards the door.
"I'd say 'do your best,' but there wouldn't be any point. I already know you will."
She gave her own grin as she heard that.
---
Shouta's thoughts raced as he watched the scene in front of him, making sure to give them plenty of space. Once again, Izuku Etsumi had managed to surprise Shouta and change his opinion of him.
For starters, Shouta hadn't seen him like this before. He saw – barely conscious, but still saw – Etsumi being moved out of the USJ after the invasion, but there was a stark difference between injured or unconscious after a fight and being reduced to a state of panic that brought to Shouta's mind the words 'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.'
He'd suspected that Etsumi had been subjected to abuse of some form or another, despite – or perhaps partially because of – the boy's harsh denial that anything was happening, but none of his suspicions lined up with what he had seen today.
He supposed that, at the very least, the silver lining to the situation and the confusion and questions it brought, was that Shouta realized how wrong he was about his initial suspicion of Etsumi being abused at home.
Etsumi's guardian was listed as Reiko Etsumi, who happened to be his sister and the only person he lived with – he'd heard from Nezu that Uraraka was apparently staying with the two of them when the principal wanted to update him on her address, but with no change to her personality and no visible reason to do otherwise, Shouta had not yet factored her into the equation – so when he first considered that the boy was experiencing abuse of some kind, Shouta's mind jumped, prematurely, to abuse at home from a guardian. But now, looking at the way the two of them plus Uraraka were interacting, and the way that Izuku's sister seemed to be the only thing holding him together, he discarded that theory altogether.
But all that did was leave him with more questions, as did the entire situation altogether.
Shouta remembered Etsumi implying during that discussion a few weeks earlier that his sister had been, if not directly abused herself, then at least exposed to it. Did that mean that a parent was the culprit, and that was why the two lived on their own? And then as far as Shouta could tell, Izuku's state of mind had been triggered by a mental quirk that dealt with brainwashing and mind control. The potential implications of that weren't something that Shouta particularly wanted to think about.
There were simply too many possibilities to sort through. He would have to think about it some other time.
Then there was Etsumi's initial response to his opponent's quirk.
Shouta had encountered bloodlust and murderous intent before. Not many people knew of it, or if they did that it was a real thing, but it was almost always something to be wary of.
The most common instances of it were in particularly savage criminals. Those that did what they did for no other reason than because they wanted to, who took pleasure in the suffering of others. It was as the name implied. Their intent and thirst for blood and violence could become intense enough for certain people to feel it. In those cases, the bloodlust they produced was barely enough to give a person goosebumps. For an experienced underground hero such as Eraserhead, it was barely registered at all.
Then, the much rarer cases were the type of people whose presence could be physically felt in the air around them. These people were more cruel or savage even amongst other monsters, and generally had the power or skill to match up to it. Shouta had heard stories before – mostly from the other underground heroes – about people like this, people like Stain, and monsters that resided in the depths of Tartarus, whose names didn't even show up in news stories because they were better left forgotten.
The lead villain from the USJ was as close to the second group as Shouta had ever encountered. That man's bloodlust had preceded him before he even stepped through the portal that day.
Of course, that wasn't to say that the existence of such a thing meant for sure that a person was evil or villainous. Oni was a prime example of that. The vigilante, who sat somewhere between the two groups, could send criminals running with a single look and at times gave off a bloodlust so intense that it could make someone feel as though there was a knife pressed to their neck.
Shouta didn't consider Oni evil – the kid was a walking headache at the best of times, but not evil – and he knew how much Oni did to help people in Musutafu, but he'd seen how the vigilante got sometimes, how he handled the criminals he went after. As much as Oni did to protect people, Shouta knew that he could, and usually was, exceptionally cruel towards criminals and villains. Oni seemed to take joy from their fear and pain, and more often than not did things less efficiently just to drag out as much fear from them as possible.
But Etsumi skewed his entire perception of the concept. To have been able to give off such an intense murderous intent that Shouta could feel it in the announcers' booth, and for it to affect him enough that he's started to have difficulty breathing… it was surprising, to say the least. He'd known that Etsumi was strong, that much was clear after the USJ, but Shouta had no idea that the boy was capable of such a thing.
What's more, is that as soon as Shouta felt the intent in the air, he'd been absolutely certain that Etsumi was going to kill Shinsou. It likely would've taken an absurd amount of self-control for him to simply render the other student unconscious – which was another matter entirely, the fact that not only was the bloodlust intense enough for Shouta to feel and be affected by it, but also strong enough to knock someone unconscious alone – and then leave the ring.
If Shouta wasn't so concerned for Etsumi, and right next to him, he would've sighed. Something that should've just been a simple one-on-one fight between two students has left him with more questions and things to think about than he knows what to do with.
At some point, Shouta felt his phone vibrate and checked it to see that Hizashi had messaged him to say that the next round of matches was beginning. Evidently there had been a short break to allow people time to recover from Etsumi's outburst.
He also asked for an update as to Etsumi's condition, which Shouta provided, explaining what had happened after he found Etsumi's sister, including the fact that Uraraka had shown up as well.
With his explanation sent, Shouta went back to silently observing. Despite the – ever growing – list of questions he had concerning his student and the headache he would likely have because of them later, he hoped that Etsumi would be able to recover soon. Already it seemed as though the presence of his sister and Uraraka had begun to help him significantly, likely helping to ground him or cancel out whatever feeling of danger he'd been experiencing, which was evidently intense enough to lash out at the first person who came within reach – one more question added to the list.
---
Now that Izuku had broken free from the urge to dissociate and was no longer being tormented by the constant memories and sensations across his body – now reduced to a barely noticeable cold, buzzing feeling in his hands, not unlike the pins and needles one felt when a body part fell asleep – he felt distinctly empty. He felt tired. Not physically, but mentally. He was drained.
He and Rei hadn't moved from their spot on the floor, still wrapped in each other's arms, though Ochako had since left as Eraser informed her that her match was coming up.
Izuku wanted to go out and watch her fight, but found that he really didn't want to get up just yet. He knew he would have to soon, but for now he wanted to take in as much comfort as possible from Rei.
So that's exactly what he did.
Eventually though, he heard a buzz from Eraser's direction who, Izuku had distantly recognized at some point, had been watching for some time. The man checked his phone, before speaking.
"Uraraka has won her fight against Yaoyorozu, and will be moving into the semifinals. Your fight with Todoroki is up next, but Present Mic needs to know whether or not you will be continuing. I don't know how up to it you're feeling at the moment, but it's supposed to start in fifteen minutes. If you don't wish to fight, I can let him know."
Izuku shook his head. "No."
"Are you sure, Izuku?" Rei asked, pulling away slightly to look him in the eye."
Izuku shook his head again. "I'm sure. I intend to continue. I feel tired, but right now the last thing I want to do is sit around and do nothing. I want a distraction, and focusing on the remainder of the festival will provide that for me."
He rose up to his normal height, taking Rei with him before releasing her from his hold, prompting her to do the same. He took a deep breath, giving Rei a quick smile, before looking Eraser in the eye.
"I'll fight.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone