First Timeline
Natasha Nicholai's point of view
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Today I die!
I wish I was joking, but, unfortunately, I am not. And well, there isn't much I can do about all of this. There is literally nothing I can do. Not without my arms, nor my legs or tongue. They cut everything—my arms, my legs, even my tongue. Now I'm just a shell.
At least they haven't cut off my head yet.
But it will happen today!
I'm not going to lie by saying that I'm in this situation for nothing. I'm not gonna say that I didn't do anything to be here. Because I did! I'm not, one hundred percent, the victim.
I am a villainess, after all. I know every single vicious thing I did.
I remember every single person I killed. Every single thing I stole and all the lies I've told. But I don't regret it.
There's a reason for everything I did. Of course, there is! I did it for my sister. My sweet younger twin sister, Dalilah. All I did was for her.
Okay... Almost everything. The last thing I did, which made me end up here, wasn't for her. It was for me. She's the one who got hurt by it.
But I couldn't help it. There was a primal feeling deep inside of me, which I can't explain, that kept telling me to get back at that motherfucker. That son of a bitch who did that to me.
Worst, my sister knew and didn't do anything about it.
But I truly believe that she had a reason to do so. That asshole was probably emotionally manipulating her into not saying anything. Because he couldn't manipulate her normally, mind to mind, once she was the one with such a blessed kind of magic. She was blessed by the Goddess, and that's why she's a Saintess.
I'm not dumb, neither am I stupid, so, of course, I knew how she would react if I followed the voice deep inside of me. But somehow I did it anyway. It was the first time in my life that I did something she disagreed with.
I always knew how much she loved that octopus we have to call 'brother'. So it was an obvious and expected reaction. Especially when I murdered him so brutally and didn't even try to hide.
That voice told me not to do so. It insisted it was for the best. That I was right.
And that, it didn't matter the consequences that would follow what I had done, I should handle it because it would be worth it.
So yeah, she organized my execution together with my brother-in-law, the 3rd Imperial jerk Prince Christopher Caspien. Who I deeply hate! That spoiled brat always got in my way even when I tried to help him for my sister's sake. Scheming things that could hurt me, and always failing. Making the time of my life I had to spend around him, because of Dalilah, a living hell.
But again, I never did anything that would go against my sister. So, somehow I managed to keep my hatred towards him to myself, and never said anything rude to him. All because of her. I don't even know how I controlled myself all this time. It doesn't make sense, thinking about it right now. But life doesn't make sense, anyway.
Now regarding her, it was expected. I disappointed my sister, by killing one of the people she loves the most in this world, our eldest brother, Octavian. And besides her sad feelings making me feel like shit and like I failed with her, I can't help but not give a damn about his death at all.
And having this mindset is what makes people see me as a villainess. I can't deny that either. Again, I know what I am. As well as I know that all of the things I did, took me to where I am now.
The depths of the Imperial Palace dungeon, for being accused of assassinating the Grand Duke Octavian Nicholai. My older brother. Which, again, I did! And with such an accusation, there was no way of me escaping execution.
And well, as I said before, I truly thought I knew why everything happened the way it did. But, it turns out that I didn't. Not entirely. At least, that's what I ended up learning at my last moments alive in this sphere.
As you see, I thought that I had done all of that because of my own personal and selfish desires. But, no! It was someone else's. Someone else's ugly internal desires and horrible feelings towards the people I harmed in some way and killed.
And that person controlled me. Used her magical strings in my mind and brain-washed me.
In the end, I thought I controlled my fate. But fate, it seems, was controlling me.
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Dalilah Isabela Ludwick Caspien—born Nicholai, my twin sister. The one I never thought I'd wish to harm. The only one I thought I cared about in my whole life. Who I helped and killed to protect.
I used everyone and did everything in my power to make her the 3rd Imperial Prince Christopher's fiancee, so no one would dare to harm her and she would have a lot of power. She's the one who was born with the magic that made her able to brainwash and manipulate others' minds, between us two. The Saintess, guarded by the Goddess herself.
Then how could she do this to me?
I gazed at her blankly and she laughed at my face. Finally showing her true colors.
"I don't know how such a naive and stupid person could be my twin sister! Seriously, it's pitiful. Do you even know how long I've had my magical strings tangled in your mind, dear Natasha?" tears appeared in my empty eyes and I let them fall. "Since we were about to turn fourteen!" she said with a snakish smile that only I could see.
As if doing that to me was something to be proud of. Making everything hurt more than before. If that was even possible.
"You were such a beautiful child... way more beautiful than me! Your hair shone like silk and your eyes like gold in the sun, like father's, while mine was always dull. Everyone adored your looks despite you being a disgrace with not a drop of magic in you. But that wasn't enough, was it? So more clever and selfless than me. It was disgusting, honestly. You loved and cared for me way more than I did for you, poor thing."
'Then why? Why did you do all of that to me?' I wanted to ask her, but I couldn't after becoming tongueless for all the lies I'd told.
"But you always had a deadly flaw, Natasha... You weren't born with any kind of magic power, but I was! And as you already know, sis, magic in our world is like the air you breathe so you can live. It's beyond necessary. The ones who don't have it will never grow in life and will die like good-for-nothing. And that's your case here, darling. Having such a pitiful death as being executed in public. It's a disgrace that you're my sister, the daughter of the late-late Grand Duke Nicholai."
She couldn't be more wrong about the magic.
The thing is, I was born with magic! Not only one but two types of it. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Telepathy and ice magic. I was born to be as powerful as Dalilah, or even more than her, and someone stole it from me when I was a little kid.
But they'd never believed me when I told them the truth, and I couldn't remember who did it either, which didn't help me at all. Everyone acts as if they've never seen me using ice magic when I was very little, pretending as if their memories of it had been erased, which is absurd! Always saying, repeatedly, that I didn't have magic at all, that this thought of me, was just a mechanism that I had created as a way to accept my unlucky situation and to digest the fact that my twin sister had magical powers and I didn't.
Bullshit!
"That's why you never had anything you could call yours. No matter how beautiful, skilled and smart you were, you would never have what I had. That's why everyone always favored me, but you didn't care about this, right, Natasha?" the resentment in her voice was undeniable.
And I did care about it actually, I just didn't show it. It wouldn't change anything if I had shown, would it?
"But this wasn't enough for me. I couldn't let the opportunity pass, so I manipulated your mind and I made you selfish, evil, and arrogant. So I could make everyone deeply hate you," she has completely lost her mind. "Not only that, of course. The goal was to make everyone hate you and to get you killed in the end, but why stop there when you could be so useful to me? And indeed, the fact that I smartly used you is what made it possible for me to be where I am now."
How could I be such a fool? Sir Thorin Meelany, the one who thought me how to use a sword and fight with it, always told me not to be fooled and not to trust people even if they were family. I should have heard him. But, no! I had a weak mind and that made me an easy target for Dalilah.
"I made you steal, kill our parents and baby brother, betray every principle you had, kill everyone you loved," yeah, you made me break all of my principles forcibly, no need to keep reminding me of that. "You were so clueless before... Naive enough to think that I would never try to harm you. What a joke!" Dalilah laughed once again, dryly.
That hurt. Not just because she said it, but because she's right. I trusted her completely, and now I see the fool I was.
Although I don't remember myself being good like she's saying anymore. 'Good' and 'Natasha' don't seem to fit in the same sentence anymore, in my mind. Maybe she shattered my naive self 'till it was impossible to recover, with her manipulations.
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