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Surrender to Grief

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Chapter 1: [1]There was only nothing

I came to a stop when my feet reached the door of my daughter's bedroom. Softly laid my knuckles on this wooden surface and knocked thrice before i turned the knob open. The room was cold and refreshing and in the window pane, wind came through as it blows her brown flowy thin hair.

She turned to look at me to smile and looked back at the window, she placed her gaze out in the field of grass and freedom where she closed her eyes as if to feel the melody of singing birds and the fresh air she breathed. The wind continues to brush through her hair, then she released a sigh.

With her cheery voice she said "The length is just right, dad! thanks for buying me this" she removed her wig resting on her head to place it down on the bed sheet, i walked towards her with freshly sweet flowers in my hands then placed it in the table and sat on her bed as it swallows some of my weight.

I leaned on to sway my fingers on to her pale cheek "happy birthday, sweetie" my voice trembled as I glanced into my daughter's eyes. Our eyes met filled with tears, her mouth curved into a frown and drew closer to me.

The warmth of her embrace was burning in my heart yet her limbs were thin and cold, her arms wrapped around my waist as my hands quiver while gently pressing her head to my chest. We held this moment. Engraving my daughter's warmth and her small figure into my memories.

The sun has disappeared and the stars are seen to blink in the sky, it was a beautiful night until the phone rang and the doctors called for me, I sprint towards my daughter's room, there was no wind yet it was chilly.

Grasping for her dear life and breathing her counted breaths, i felt my knees weaken every step i took closer to her. Kneeling beside her, I closed my eyes and wished for tears to stop flowing from her eyes. Wrapping my fingers to her cold shivering hands "daddy's here, sweetie. I am here" I said to reassure her. Her dried chapped lips were moving but couldn't form words.

"it's okay, it'll be okay" my shaking hands managed to synchronized with my quivering voice as i saw her fighting to keep her eyes open. Until there was a long deafening thin sound.

The doctors came rushing, the nurse were checking the time, but all i heard was the loud silence in the room.

There was nothing. The world seem to fade. And from then, my eyes gave up all the kept tears and released all the pain of a father could have felt. I became weak. My hands failed to conceal the overflowing tears on my face, but there was nothing i could do.

There was only, nothing.

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