Chapter Three: Warming Up
Gianna's POV
After mom left I decided to watch a movie. But I honestly wasn't paying any attention to the movie.
My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I felt like my mind was covered with fog. I wasn't thinking about anything but I just kept spacing out.
When my bedroom door opened I snapped back into reality.
I turned to see my mom walking in with a tray of food in her hands. A soft smile on her lips.
I quickly got up to help her with the tray. I took it, setting it on the bedside table.
"I thought of bringing you lunch since I know you're...well, y'know." She said, sitting on my green coloured bed.
I've always loved the color green. It's so beautiful. It reminds me of nature. Something I don't really get to see. It's funny really how I found something that scared me so much, beautiful.
I sat beside mom, fondling with my fingers in embarrassment.
"I promise I'll try mom. I just need to get used to them." I said in a small voice, looking down. My blonde hair covering half my face.
"I know sweetie. I'll be with you every step of the way." She said with a smile.
I smiled back at her, grateful to have such a wonderful mom.
She stood up, turning to face me she said. "I'll get the tray when you're done."
I shook my head from side to side.
"Don't worry mom. I can do that." I said.
"Are you sure?"she asked skeptically.
I bobbed my head, not trusting myself to speak. I really didn't want her to hear the fear in my voice.
She sighed and nodded. She gave me a smile of encouragement before leaving.
When I was done with the food I picked up the tray, took a deep breath and forced myself out of the room before I could change my mind.
On my wall to the kitchen I didn't encounter anyone and I was glad. Our house was relatively big so I hoped I won't have to run into anyone often.
While washing the dishes, I felt a presence behind me. I gulped, suddenly feeling on edge.
I knew it wasn't my mom even without looking. Mom had this comforting and familiar feeling around her. This presence was different. Not bad though. Just new.
And I wasn't really comfortable with new.
"Hi." A soft voice said from behind.
I washed up the last dish before turning around.
I was met with doe gray eyes staring back at me. Her lips were set in a soft smile.
As she rocked on her heels back and forth her short brown hair followed the movement.
I took a minute to admire how pretty she was. Her bangs framed her face, making it look smaller. Hey shoulder length hair was styled in a bob.
Her green fairy gown made her look like Tinkerbell but without the wings of course. Her white sneakers made her look even cuter.
Everything about her looked so serene. She reminded me of the ocean for some reason.
"Hi." I found myself saying back. A smile coating my lips. She inched closer to me. Eyes still focused solely on me.
"Mom said you're sick and can't leave the house. Is that true?" She said.
I was taken aback by her strong British accent. It took a while for her question to be processed in my head.
I wiped my hands with a cloth and sat down on one of the chairs in the kitchen, just behind the white counter. She quickly made her way over to me, seating on the chair beside me.
Gray eyes looked at me with curiosity. I could see a little bit of blue in them. Zoe's eyes were truly a rare sight. I cleared my throat and averted my eyes from hers. I wasn't a fan of eye contact
I looked at my fingers which were already wrapped around each other, shaking slightly.
Small slender fingers wrapped around mine. I looked up to see her frowning.
"It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it. Ash doesn't like talking about his problems too." She said.
I was surprised that she noticed my shaking fingers.
"How old are you?" I found myself asking.
"Ten." She said
I smiled at her and took a deep breath. Trying to relax.
"It's called Agoraphobia. I won't call it a sickness. It's more like a mental problem. Being scared in situations or places that might cause panic, helplessness or embarrassment." I said.
I had no idea why I was telling a ten year old about my condition but it just felt right. She asked questions and I answered the ones I could.
She smiled a toothy grin when I was done. I quirked my eyebrows up in confusion.
"Do you have dolls?" She asked, smiling sheepishly. I chuckled lightly at her, nodding, I told her to wait while I searched the basement for my old dolls.
When I found them, I took them to her.
"Thank you. Will you play with me?" She said, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.
I chuckled, nodding at her. She took my arm and dragged me to what she called her new room, but it was just my old room. It was new to her so I didn't say anything about it.
We played all afternoon. I'm not gonna lie, Zoe was amazing company. It felt great to laugh all afternoon with a ten year old. It was already dark out when we got tired.
I laid on my purple bed. Zoe laid beside me. I ran my hands through her hair. For a few minutes all that could be heard were our breaths. It was a comfortable silence. It felt nice.
A small smile made it's way too my lips. Lying beside Zoe felt so natural. Like I had been doing so for years. I was glad I wasn't feeling anxious towards Zoe.
For a moment my heart felt full. I looked at her. Her long eye lashes brushed her cheeks lightly as she blinked. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Thanks for playing with me,Gia." She said softly. My heart started palpitating on my chest. For some reason I felt like bawling my eyes out.
My heart felt full yet empty. I thought about my brother. About how we'll lay next to each other when we're exhausted from playing all day. All the emotions I was feeling came crashing down on me. It was all too much.
I abruptly stood up from the bed.
"Gia?" She said, sitting up, probably wondering what was going on with me.
"I - I have to go now, Zoe. I'll see you later ." I said in a shaky voice and rushed out of the room to mine. I slammed the door behind me and slid down the door.
My heart seemed to have dropped to the pit of my stomach, leaving me with an aching feeling in my chest. Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall, wretching violently from all the sobs struggling to be let out.
It hurt so much. I missed my brother and the only reason he wasn't here was because of me. I wished he was here instead. I'd trade places with him in a heartbeat. Without him here I have nothing to live for.
They was a soft knock on the door. I wiped my tears with my hands, standing up. "Who is it?" I asked in a croaky voice.
The door slowly opened, blue eyes connecting to my green ones. When she saw my distressed state she rushed in and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.
Once again I fell apart. Tears falling down my eyes in lightening speed.
Mom pulled me to sit on the bed, sitting beside me she rubbed her arms up and down my back in a comforting gesture.
"I'm sorry Mom." I managed to say in between sobs.
"How many times do I have to tell you it's not your fault. Stop blaming y-yourself" She said, her voice cracking at the end.
I could tell she was trying to keep it together. I admired how strong she was. I willed myself to stop crying. After minutes of trying to control my breath tears finally stopped rolling down my eyes.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Mom asked.
"No. Please no." I said, fondling with my fingers and looking down in shame.
"Okay. Dinner's almost ready. I'll bring yours up." She said. I gave her a grateful smile which she returned before leaving the room.
I turned on the TV in my room in an effort to distract myself. It wasn't working so I settled for playing games on my phone.
A few minutes later mom walked in with my food. I smiled at her. "Thank you Mom." I said. I couldn't thank her enough.
"You don't have to thank me honey. I'd love to stay here with you but we have guests." She said
"It's okay Mom. I'll wash these myself when I'm done." I said, hoping I don't run into anyone.
She was about to argue but I playfully glared at her. She rolled her eyes and nodded, giving me a small smile before leaving.
********
It was eleven pm already. I finished eating two hours ago. I had been stalling. I really didn't want to go downstairs but I already told Mom I'd wash the dishes.
I sighed, knowing I shouldn't stall anymore. Picking up the dishes, I left my room.
I tiptoed to the kitchen, keeping an eye out for anyone. I sighed I relief when I got to the kitchen. I dropped the dishes in the sink and washed them.
Keeping the last item in it's rightful place , I turned around and was almost sent to an early grave from shock.
There stood a shirtless Asher standing at the entrance of the kitchen. And there I stood in my Minnie mouse PJ's like a statue. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open and a racing heart.
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