Chapter 10: 8. Fairy Tale

-Memory 8-

-Nandemonaiya-

-RADWIMPS-

One time I read that stars, after shinning for some lots of years, find another star, similar in size; they stay with their couple until both of their brightness die. It's a very deep and dramatic concept —despite I don't know if it is true—. Humans are like stars and we all bright with different intensities, but we still the same while we are something different. But out there, maybe even on the other side of Earth —or maybe just next to you, if you're lucky—, is the star you're destined to bright with; and it's normal to find other stars in the process, but these aren't anything but a way for you to grow enough for your encounter with that special star. In this time of love and friendship, it's normal for us to believe that that special person is with who we are right now, but life is cruel and unpredictable, but with a reason. Everything has a motive, and if you think out of the box, you'll see it in everything you can imagine.

When vacations ended, I got to see Sea again and my world regained its color —despite it's just a sensation, but you'll get it later—. My vacations were infested by the serpent. The same disgusting antagonist of our fairy tale —it's a metaphor, alright? It's obvious that this isn't a fairy tale, and if you think it is, what the hell have you been reading all this time?—.

Days later, in our second week of regular classes, we had already been a couple for 5 months. Those were the happiest ones of that year, even considering that the serpent was still in my life back then. It was simple. She made me a better person, and I did my best in order to do the same. But in my case, while she was helping me to look at the world in a new and beautiful angle, the serpent tore me apart from the inside. My academic performance decreased a lot compared to the previous year, to the point in which my parents threatened me with getting me out of the school if there wasn't any increase in my grades, blaming Sea for the problem, though deep inside I knew that I was the only one to blame.

However, I found refuge from pressure and stress in music. Wearing headphones became a need to me. I had to take them with me everywhere because they were an escape; a shield against the outside. After a few days, Spotify became my most used app, and my playlist the best way to think and express myself. That's how my life got filled up with notes and beautiful melodies.

But it didn't take long for it to bring trouble. Roy stopped having the same confidence he used to have with me since I started dating Sea, so that he ended up becoming a close friend of The Messy Haired Friend With Glasses —Patrick, to get rid of the unknown and of the large and annoying nickname—. They became as close as Roy and I used to be. Don't get me wrong. I liked Patrick, to the point in which he became my second best friend. But eventually, he became Sea's best friend too —a place that used to be mine, but for some reason ended up being Patrick's in a blink of an eye—. I wasn't jealous or anything, but it was uncomfortable knowing that, somehow, he was replacing me.

Rebecca distanced from me, just like Roy; my stress for balancing my girlfriend, my friends, my family, and my academic performance was getting out the worst of me. But again, the music was my refuge. I wanted to pretend that everything was alright. I've always had that defect. I take the best out of each situation and, sometimes, I'm not able to see how bad it is until it's too late. It is always too late.

However, I thought it wasn't important because logically, your friends take a small distance when you're in a relationship. But it wasn't like that, and you don't have any idea of how much I regret doing nothing to stop them from leaving. It's something I haven't been able to forgive to myself, not even now. Maybe I could have avoided them from suffering or maybe it would've just been selfish to ask them to stay by my side. Anyway, we never were what we used to be, just as tomorrow we won't be the same we used to be yesterday. Because change does exist, and despite it's cruel, it's also healthy. And I've had to tolerate it's will all along these four last years. But it is okay, all of that is okay.

Time can be deceiving, but fare too. It heals everything, right? No, not everything. Unfortunately, it doesn't. And that's why this story matters, because we all made mistakes, we still do. We did what we did and we were what we were. And now we are what we are, because we learned from what we did and grew up.

But a fall once in a while never hurts. It reminds you that you're human and that you're wrong sometimes —or most of the time—, because that's our nature. It's what turns us into terrible and wonderful beings. It is what makes us breathe and what makes our heart beat. That's the most beautiful lesson we can learn, along the years, through the memories and, most important, through the notes that form the melodies that will be with us until our last day.

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