Chapter 26: Selfish Request (Giving Sister and Lover True Happiness ) Part 4
Time passed by and we grew up , Otome nee graduated last week , She grew up into a beautiful and attractive women , whole school has crush over her by the time she graduated , Rinka is in her first year of high school , also doing great and her performance in school is also getting better ,and My last year has also started , as usual after childhood days were over , they started maturing and our conversation shifted and become more mature , so i just kept the low profile like previous Kazuke but there were differences too , I spoke up when i needed and helped Rinka and Otome while i could , comforting and teaching them , showing my appreciation and love in my own way to them
as i saw Rinka growing up , I came to realize her love for me was not one time thing that you move on from after realizing how childish it was , he actions and words , i can clearly see , She loves me , really loves me , so with Otome nee , As we grew up , We have truly become best friends and i know sooner and later , We will become lovers too , that is why i have not initiated it my self but waiting for Rinka to mature and Come share her feelings to me .
Then that day finally came , one day while Rinka and i were alone at home and spending time in my room
Rinka suddenly asked " kazu nee , do you really want to marry rinka and otome nee ?"
i looked at her , even though i had said that when we were small kids , she still remembers it
" yes " i replied as it was mos obvious answer
Rinka then asked " kazu nee , but wont you be happy if its just rinka herself ,why do you want to be with otome nee too "
this girl was already smart even though she is just 11 , otome might have forgotten but she wont , and probably she is thinking how to have me by herself right now , of course whats wrong in wanting someone you love all for yourself
" because i love both of you " i told rinka nonchalantly
Rinka came closer to me and said" but kazu nee , wont you be happy with Rinka alone too "
sigh , i think We really need to start talking about it now . If one think clearly , why does she feel that way , they may reach to the conclusion that she wants to have me all by herself or her strong sense of passiveness but the main question is why ? why does she have such strong sense of passiveness toward me ? because inside she is still a little and fragile girl who do not want to be separated form his brother , who also wants to loved and cared for and is simply afraid she will be left alone by herself , over these years , Rinka has only shown those emotions when i was not around or when we had a fight ,or if we were separated for few days
" Rinka come here " i said pointing to Rinka to sit next to me
" do you really love me ?" i asked her looking at her seriously
" yes i really love kazu nee " she also looked at me serious and said those words smiling
" so when i said i wanted to marry you and otome nee , did you feel hurt or did you feel happy " i asked her with serious expression
" i was really happy when kazu nee said he will marry rinka and then i thought i will be happy with otome nii too " Rinka said that with guilty expression
" but then you suddenly think what if kazu nee only have me right ? what if there is no otome nee " i said looking at her
Rinka was shocked , it was all over her face that she had thought of it ,wanting to hide it from kazuke but she then nodded
" Rinka why do think being with me alone is better than being together wit otome nee and you :" i asked her
" because then i can have kazu nee all by myself " she said like i am some possession
" Rinka , sigh " i patted her head " then wont otome nee will be hurt , you want to have me all Yourself because you think you do not have to share me with otome nee right , then i can spend more time with you and will only love you " i said looking at rinka
Rinka nodded " yes that is what i thought kazu nee " she put her head down thinking i am angry or something
i went and patted at head " silly girl , otome nii is otome nii and rinka is rinka , you both have a unique place in my heart , even if i am with both of you , it does not mean i will love you Less compared to being only being with you , yes if there is no otome nee ,you can have me by yourself but there also other things you have to think about , will you be happy rinka seeing otome nee hurt , truthfully , I have always loved otome nee and i also loved you rinka , so if lets say otome nee wont be with me , i will feel hurt , then because i feel hurt , i might not even be able to love you the way i would have if i had both of you "I said looking at her
rinka looked at me and stared for few seconds , her big brother who usually acts as a air head had spoken so much and with those much meaning , kazu nee is not Passive , he just like being quiet
" but kazu nee , wont you love rinka Less if you are with otome nee ? what if you only spend time with otome nee and ignore me , I know i am not attractive as Otome nee and then They even say Borther and sister cant be together and People dont even marry 2 people here so if kazu nee had to choose , you will probably choose otome nee as she is better in all ways , I feel like i will be left all alone while otome nii will get all the love from kaze nee " Rinka said with sad face
" who said i will ignore you , even if i had both of you , i will love and care for you both with my best capabilities , i know its different from usual but i do really love you both , i do not want to hurt you or otome nee and really want to have you both as my family . just think about it , what will change if you , otome nee and i are together , its not like i wont love you much because i have otome nee , or i wont love otome nee because i had you , i will give my love to both of you and try my best to make you both happy , and are you not both close and are best friends , then if you think of it clearly , wont you have someone to share and be with even when i am not around ? think about it , if you have worries that you cant tell me , you can share with her , if otome nee had something she cant tell me ,she can tell you and if i did something . wont you have otome nee to rely on instead of being all hurt huh and moreover otome nee really cares for you .i can see you care for her too , would you really be able to see her hurt rinka , was it not you who wanted to be friend with her ?"i said what would really stir up her heart
Rinka looked at me " but but rinka is really afraid kazu nee will love rinka and will be lonely "
i went ahead and hugged her " stupid rinka , you will always have place in my heart just like otome nee , if you are hurt i will feel hurt too and why do you think i will ignore you if i have otome nee , i might even try to pay more attention to you just in case you do not feel ignored" i said patting her head
Rinka freed herself from huh and looked at me with teary eyes
" Rinka , you should think about it carefully , Yes i am you brother and they say even we brother and sister cant marry and yes polygamy here is banned but why does it have to do with me , I have already decided a long ago to love you and make you happy ,Fulfilling all your wishes . I wont leave you alone and let you hurt all by yourself , neither i will ignore you , i have been with you up since we were kids , I really cherish my little sister and otome nee too , I know she loves rinka too , tell me do you really think we will both hurt you or ignore you rinka ? if you feel lonely , tell us we will be with you and give you more attention . if you feel painful ,share with us stupid ,why do you have to keep it all inside huh and act all tough ,share with us and even if we cant lessen it , we can share it together and try our best to help you .you can always find me to rely on if you ever need help or are in pain , did i not tell you since you were a kid huh , i will always protect you and i wont regret having you Rinka " Words birthed out of true feelings came out of my mouth , this i what I Ae Ge have felt since we started living here in this world .
RInka looked at me , just hugged me and started crying " i am sorry kazu nee , I was just feeling hurt thinking you would ignore me because of otome nii , it really felt painful and i thought is it not better if kazu nee do not like otome nee , even if i do not want to think about it , it really kept coming to me , i even thought of hurting otome nii or making you not like otome nee " she kept saying those words while crying
"sigh , my silly sister , do you think me not liking otome nee or otome nee not liking me will change that ? will you truly be happy if i can be just with you but the brother you love and care about is not happy ,i am with you but i am in pain and hurting inside ? will you be happy being with that kind of brother rinka ? and wont i also be hurt if you hurt otome nee , yes you can do a lot of things that will make me not like otome nee but rinka , wont i also be in pain if i found you all did that so you can just be with me , how will i be able to stay with you that way , i will always feel pain ,guilt and heartbroken ,as because of me you were in pain and then you hurt other because of me , i wont be able to be happy seeing my little sister like that and seeing you hurt otome nee because of me too , i would choose to just be alone rather than having to see you both hurt because of me , rather than that painful nightmare , i think it would be better if you both are happy by yourself and has nothing to do with me " as i said , i also cried a little , of course i can control my tears but its better to let them fall right now , sometimes holding back is not a good thing , In fact most of time we regret feelings we could not express , words we could not speak so its best to speak out and show what you really feel than to think its embarrassing or it will perceived as being childish or not suitable for adults , its better to let it out whether it is happiness or pain ,whether you love them or not , whether something they did hurts you or something they did made you happy , for those who truly loves us will understand and for those who do not , why do they even matter
listening to my words , maybe rinka understood what i meant " kazu nee , no , please do not leave rinka , i would not hurt otome nee or do anything like that , just ,just promise me you wont leave me alone too "
i just patted her back " i wont leave you alone rinka , even if you in future choose to not like me or care for me , i will be still your brother and wish for your happiness "
as i was saying that ,rinka looked at me with her eyes full of tears " no i love you kazu nee , i will be with you in future " she spoke loudly like telling me she had made her mind
i just kept patting her head and comforting her then suddenly the door was opened and Otome nii came , even i was caught Unprepared
Rinka in my arms crying and me hugging her , this scene looks shady over and over
Otome nee also looked at us and then said " Rinka why are you crying , dont Tell me Kazuke Bullied you "
" Otome nii how do you even reach that conclusion " i said mumbling looking at her
then otome nii came close to Rinka " Rinka chan , if he had hurt you or done anything perverted like those old men he used to talk about, just tell me okay , you dont have to cry like that , i will definitely help you and punish kazuke , i am here to Protect you"
Damn it , its going out of hand now , Rinka say something and help this brother out
Rinka looked at otome nii , she had always thought of her as a Rival , she even wanted to hurt her or make kazu nee not like her and yet she unaware of all of it ,still cares for her and go to lengths to punish kazu nee and even protect me ,thinking this she even started more crying " sob sob Otome nee , I sob am sorry sob "
saying those Rinka just hugged Otome and started crying even more
Otome glared at me and even shouted" kazuke , What did you do to her"
That day i had to hear her nags until Rinka finally stopped crying and took otome to her room , Finally this love has started to Mature , but will it be able to bloom ? thinking this i sighed and laid down again
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