139- The start of a secret

"Is that how you felt? When you met me and when I died?" Allias asked his lover. He was standing with the book open in his hands. His eyes turning round and tears unconsciously falling on the shabby pages. He slowly turned his head, staring at him. He was trying so hard to forget. He always wished to keep these feelings hidden inside him, somewhere in the back of his heart. He was telling himself all over again and again that things now would be different. That now Allias was back he didn't have to feel this way, there was no one to stop them, no one to shame him for not being good enough but reading this right now, these words written by a man hidden behind a mask made him remember those days. Not the events but the feelings his lover had made him feel, the pain and the joy. How could someone he had probably never met before describe his heart better than he ever could?