Chapter 3: CHAPTER 2
"How did this happen? He was stable before I left him." I asked my nurse, while working my legs in fast rapid motion to the intensive care unit. My mind currently was bizzare as I had just been informed that my last patient had just gone into a cardiac arrest.
The patient was rushed in the previous night, being blasted with lead bullets in vital places on his body during a police vs crimal operation. His life was dangerously hanging by a thread. His heartbeat had gone tremendously low. My team and I were just able to revive him after the immediate surgery we had to conduct to get the bullets out.
I had personally kept a close eye on him all through the night. He was doing just fine, at least to an extent but now, he suddenly experienced a cardiac arrest?
Quite abnormal.
"I don't really know. He just went into a cardiac distress while you were at the auditorium. I was watching him like you asked me to." Once in front of the ICU, I stalked in immediately. Grabbing a pair of gloves, they slid swiftly into my hands at once.
"We are losing him." Candice, a younger doctor alerted. "His pulse is insignificant." My heart skipped. I disliked being in situations like this. I hated loosing my patients over anything. I always feel like I should have done better to save them.
She was performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation on him when I came in. I rushed and took over.
"I'll take it from here. All direct contacts with the patient should be discontinued." I pressed hard on his chest with my heart in my throat.
"C'mon." My eyes shifted to the heart monitor. His heartbeat was faint. He was dying. I couldn't let that happen. I was responsible for him. "Hey, c'mon. Don't leave me hanging. You've got to wake up. Don't die on me, man. Fight."
"Doctor, we are losing him."
"No." My voice went high pitched. "He's going to wake up. He's going to open his eyes. He's got to." My voice was shaky. "I just need to-c'mon. Elena, a defibrillator." I barked at her.
I briskly grabbed the electrocardiogram leads and attached them to his chest. Just as I had requested, the defibrillator pads were in the palm of my hands. With my shaky hands, I applied some gel onto the surface to ensure good contact between the paddles and his skin and then settled the device on his chest walls.
"One, two--" On the count of three, I delivered a brief electric charge to his heart.
My eyes flicked from the electrocardiogram to the patient at regular intervals.
"He's not responsive."
"No." I snapped. "He's got to wake up." I repeated my earlier actions. I didn't realise I had been biting hard on my lips till I tasted blood on them.
My thoughts were damping my spirit. I tried to focus on stabilizing him and banished the worst from my mind but his silence was a killer too. Fear has a large shadow but he himself was slow.
"He's got a pulse. He's got a pulse." Instantly, I snapped my eyes to the heart monitor and there it was, a green horizontal line moving back and forth. There was still hope. I closed my eyes and respired in pure relief. Twirling around, my palm came up to rest on my forehead, the other on my waist. It was a close call.
"He would need additional defibrillators." Elena stated. I opened my eyes. They clashed with hers.
"Y-yes." I swallowed, repositioning the paddles exactly to increase the likelihood of further shocks being effective in stopping the arrhythmia.
I don't have a nervous system. I am a nervous system myself. I was still scared as ever even though the storm was for now, over. My chest hurt.
With a cardiac monitor, I observed his cardiac status, breathing and vital signs. They seemed normal again. His heart had returned back to a productive rhythm able to produce a pulse.
"Sarah, please set the 12 lead electrocardiogram as well the chest x-ray and the other equipments I would need to measure his cardiac damage."
"Yes doctor." Pulling off my gloves, I strided to the door and walked out. I needed to breathe. I needed to get over what just happened. I know this is my job but I get nervous in times like this.
This was one aspect of my career I disliked but I still had to go through it everyday.
Leaning over the cream coloured walls, my vision went blank. Blackness took over as I let myself sink into my own mind and thoughts.
Of course, on some occasions, I had lost my patients a good number of times but I think I do get attached and when their hearts stopped forever, I get affected along with their family. I know I can't save everyone but I let my emotions get the better of me during those daring times.
"Doc." Someone tapped me on the arm. "Ms. Daughtler." The small voice interrupted my thoughts again, retrieving me from my dark thoughts and pulling me up into reality. I opened my eyes and came face to face with Elena.
"Miss Daughtler, are you okay?" My eyes fluttered involuntarily before adjusting to the bright coloured lights casting down from the bulbs.
"Yes, yes. Why? I'm fine."
"You just look distressed."
"Elena, I'm okay. What do you want?"
"I just came by to let you know that some woman stopped by to see Detective Berrycloth. She said she was his cousin." A woman? I adjusted, withdrawing from the wall, my interest picking up. There were deep furrows in my brows as I took in her revelation.
"And why didn't you tell me before now? Why didn't you let me know?"
"I'm sorry. It skipped my mind."
"When did she arrive?"
"When you were at CAA. Right before he went into a cardiac arrest."
"Did she tell you anything. Her name or--."
"No. I couldn't see her face properly. It was covered with a black and white stripped scarf and some sunglasses."
I frowned at this, gazing long at her before parting my lips. "Okay. Send word to me when she returns. Direct her to my office. I would like to speak with her."
"That won't be a problem."
"Call me immediately if you notice any abnormalities in Mr. Berrycloth. Keep me up to date and make sure no one sees him without letting me know first." She nodded her head in response.
Sighing, I turned and walked towards the direction of my office.
Arnold was seated in my black leathered chair when I walked in. He was on his phone but as soon he saw me stroll in, he rose up.
"Darling, I've been waiting for you. I received your award in your place. Your name is plastered on everyone's lips. They are talking about how great and incredibly fantastic you are." He smiled at me. I leaned over my huge brown mahogany table, resting my palms on the surface. My office decor wasn't exactly over the moon. White walls with a couch by the left. It had basically everything a doctor's office should possess.
"What's wrong? You don't look okay. Did anything happen? Tell me love, is anything the matter?" I closed my eyes and respired.
"I'm fine, Arnold."
"You don't look fine to me. I'm your fiancé. C'mon, spill it. What's the matter with you? Tell me what it is that is messing up your pretty face?" Twirling around, I locked eyes with his concerned ones. My heart melted at the sight.
"I almost lost a patient."
The space between his brows creased, "Is that all?"
I frowned. "Arnold, you know how much I dislike my patients having to die. I--"
His index brushed my lips. "Aurora, you know very well you can't save them all. You can't get their hearts to beat for eternity. Some has to die. The fortunate ones gets to live. You just have to put in lots of effort and leave the rest in the hands of the big man upstairs."
"I just feel responsible for them, you know. I don't just like it."
"And that's why I love you so fucking much. Your sheer empathy for others. I admire you, love and apparently I'm not the only one."
"I always feel like I've made a mistake. Like I've failed them, you know." I shifted my eyes from his overly handsome face to my knotted fingers. He grasped my chin, making me look back at him.
"Don't ever say that again." He screwed his eyes shut, like he was in excruciating pain and when he opened them again, my chest tightened at what was in there. "It hurts me so much when you get so hard on yourself. You didn't make a mistake and you're not a failure. You gave it your all and it didn't work. That's life, baby. That's just life. Now, you just move on and keep on keeping on. You hear me?" He concluded.
I smiled up at him. Sometimes, I look at him and wonder how I got to be so damn lucky. I couldn't have asked for a better person to walk into my life than this man right here in front of me.
"Surely, I don't deserve you."
He shook his head. "Sweetheart, it is I who don't deserve you. I adore you, you crazy, gorgeous, wonderful-sometimes quite weird but still very lovely person." He said, pecking my nose.
I gasped, laughing, "I'm not weird."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"I said you are."
"And I said I'm not." I countered back.
"Says the lady who squeezes toothpaste from the tube medial, eats a burger layer by layer, apologizes to doors or furnitures each time you accidentally bump into them. Should I go on? The list is endless." He grinned.
I threw my head back, dissolving into laughter. "Are you spying on me, Mr. Dankworth?" I asked in between laughs.
"No, Miss. Daughtler. I just happen to know each and every damn thing about my woman. Here." He turned me around so that I was now pressed up against him. "You're a bit stressed out. Let me get you out of that." His warm hands paved their way along my sheathed arms, trailing, grazing, sliding up till they met their destination. He tugged at my coat, pulling at it till it stripped off from my shoulders and slipped through my arms.
"What are you doing?" I inquired, chuckling slightly.
"Shh..just relax. I want you to feel free and enjoy it." My eyelids fluttered close as he mildly grasped my shoulders, breaking up adhesions and smoothening out fibres, offering instant relief at my joints in the process. I didn't realize how sore my muscles were until now.
Oh Arnold.
You always know what I need at the right time.
His warm minty breath fanned the skin on my neck, shooting tingles throughout my body. He left a chaste kiss at the nape of my neck, breathing on it. It tingled, transmitting aroused signals to my groin.
"Just relax, baby. Now, let's get you comfortable." Smiling, l let him do with me as he pleased. He guided me to the leather chair. Taking a stand behind, he carefully but purposely sagged me onto it. Instantly, I began to relax completely under his touch as he massaged my bare shoulders.
His touch was like heroine in my veins and I was a grateful addict. It messed with my ability to concentrate even more than his presence already had. An unbidden moan slipped from my lips at the sweet sensation. His fingers were performing magic on my skin. It was relieving-satisfying-incredible. I just couldn't get enough of this man. This man who loved me so.
I threw my head back, letting it lean on the chair head, my eyes squeezing till all I saw was noir. My mouth formed an 'O' as I surrended to his touch. His warm lips met my forehead and I moaned again.
He brushed his lips on my nose."You feel that?" I couldn't speak nor think. Comprehension was far away at the moment. My tongue was tied. My brain electrified. He was my drug. One touch and the intoxication was instant.
His soft lips met my glossy ones and I caught his lower lip between my teeth, never letting go. I felt him smile against my mouth. I parted my lips, taking his top lip into my mouth as my lower lip got stuck in his mouth. He kissed me with such gentleness, possessiveness, firmness. The fragrance of spring and the taste of warm honey was intoxicating. With my eyes clenched, his warm breath felt like a summer breeze. I uttered a delightful moan as our tongues played with eachother, fighting for dominance till mine surrendered, bowing down to its master. His hands left my shoulders and roved all over my body.
The world had melted away in this breath taking kiss. We weren't even aware it had faded into thin air till I opened my eyes and all things began to spill into distinct visibility due to the loud beeping of his phone.
"Arnold, your phone."
He groaned subbornly against my lips. "That can wait."
"It might be something important."
"There's nothing more important than kissing you right now."
I pulled away from the kiss and swivelled my chair 180°, coming face to face with him. "It could be from the office." I pointed out.
He began leaning in to get on with our kiss and I knew instantly that was his distraction tactics. I chuckled, turning my head the other side. His lips met my cheek instead. He buried his head into my neck, breathing in my scent.
"You're irrestible, Ora." He breathed, sucking on my skin.
My breathing turned rough and fast, "Arnold." I whispered his name.
"I know." He whispered and groaned, shaking his head in feigned exasperation. "You'll be the death of me woman." He dug in, fishing out his iPhone from his pant pocket.
I swallowed, flustered. I managed to speak, "Is that so, Mr. Dankworth?"
A smile captured his lips as he moved away to take his call. "Oh yes, Miss Daughtler."
A smile took over my lips as I watched the only man I have ever loved talk into his phone. His voice, clear and audible. Yet, the words didn't make sense to me. I just could not understand the language in which he employed. All that mattered was right in front of me, in form of an Adonis-my Adonis. Oh, how much I loved him so and he loved me. Me. Me. Plain, simple me.
Suddenly, he screamed causing my back to leave the chair head immediately. " Don't you dare, you---" His hand formed a fist as it came to rest on his lips. Concern wrecking me, I stood up. My face caked in confusion.
"You wanna talk...fine...I'll be there...but you'll be damned if you..." He screwed his eyes tight, his breathing frantic.
The call ended. The caller might have hung up on him. He stared at his phone screen, clutching it so tight in his palms enough to shatter it into tiny little pieces. The veins on his head was bulging out, waves of anger bubbling up inside of him. The sight was scary.
Slowly, I advanced in his direction and prodded him slightly. He flinched, snapping his head to me. He looked frightened, angry, furious, rage overcrowding his senses, all at once. Wide eyes, crimson skin and mouth agape. How fast his mood changed with just one phone call? It was no brainer whoever rang his phone obviously had nothing pleasant to say to him.
Seeing him so distressed like this tugged painfully at my heart. "Arnold." I treaded carefully. "What's wrong?"
He blanched, "It-it's nothing. All is fine...why-why do you think otherwise?" He decreed he was fine but his body movements were tighter, his smiles shorter and his silences longer.
I took his palms in mine to encourage him. They were sweaty. I frowned. "Love, you can tell me. You can trust me. Remember how we do it? You scratch my back and I scratch yours. There are only four words that mean so much more than I love you. Remember?" I kissed the back of his palms, his knuckles meeting my lips one at a time. "I am here for you, Arnold. Please, tell me what's wrong. Is it from work?"
He withdraw from my touch, backtracking, running his hands all over his shiny, black, tousled hair, looking everywhere else but my eyes. He was avoiding me. My stomach painfully fell at his actions, dread taking over me.
"Look....I..." He began, his prominent adam's apple bopping up and down as he swallowed. "Aurora..." Aurora? No more Ora? "I've got to go, okay....It isn't...You don't understand...it's just...." As fast as the wind, he blurred past me. The only thing I heard next was the squeaking of the door as it opened and closed and Arnold slipped through.
The hurt covered me like a cloak, bonding to my skin. I felt a sharp sting in my chest, my view distorted as my eyes became cloudy. Something was amiss and he didn't wish to let me in the know. We were our confidants. Secrets meant nothing between us. We revealed everything. He was my balance and I, his. I knew things about him no one alive had any idea about and vise versa on his path.
It stung that this time, he couldn't rely on me like other times for whatever reason but I trust him. I trust him with my life, body and soul. Letting my mind dwell too much on this either would only destroy me. Whatever was bugging him, it wouldn't take long before he came around. That was Arnold. He'd never kept things under wraps for too long, especially pressing situations. The love between us was strong-so strong like root and ground.
With my new found conviction, I sucked the brewing emotions back in, willing the tears to stay at bay. I needed a distraction. The only thing willing to give me that was work. Pushing everything else deep within the farthest corners of my mind, I carried on like a professional.
Diagnosing and evaluating patients with heart related conditions, writing proper prescriptions to treat chronic cardiovascular diseases, examining patients and accessing their conditions, commanding laboratory researches till I got lost in the world of my own. I lost track of time doing what I did best.
"Mr. Hoechlin, I have been doing some checking around and we have found you the private bed you requested. I have asked Dr. Paul, the lead surgeon to take your case. You're going to be in excellent hands. Is there anything else we can do to make your stay more comfortable?" I inquired, brows raised as I waited on the old man's response. He had just been diagnosed with diastolic heart failure. A disease more common in women than in men.
He smiled warmly, nodding in the negative. I returned his warm smile, "Alright. If you would excuse me."
I glanced at my watch. 10:12pm was staring back at me. The soft, quiet sense of rest was beckoning onto me. It had been three days since I laid on my bed nor set foot into my apartment. The irresistibly soft comforters, cool velvet pillows and silken mattress was just what I needed at the moment.
On a plastic hallway chair sat a child, legs kicking in the air, clearing the floor by several inches as they swung back and forth. I was mesmerized by the red rubber boots on his feets and black duffel coat hanging on his shoulders. Somehow, the kid reminded me of Paddington Bear. His face had an unhealthy look to it and his eyes were hard open as he gazed at his mother. I stopped to stare at him, taken aback by his looks and countenance but my attention was swiftly averted when I noticed Elena at the end of the hallway, racing past with a child clasped securely in her arms.
On medical instinct, I rushed after her.
"Elena, what's wrong?" She didn't stop but her head swept to the side.
"There's no waiting for this child, doc. There are pronounced crackles in his right and left lower lungs." We rushed into a vacant ward.
"How are his oxygen sats?"
"Barely above ninety percent."
The child was awake but there was a listless to him and his chest heaved more quickly than it should to bring in air. His skin was pale. Pneumonia most likely.
I ordered for the nasal oxygen prongs that Elena was already hooking up. My stethoscope was waiting on stand-by around my neck. I listened to his chest, ordered lung x-rays, blood tests, urine analysis and the preparation of intravenous antibiotics.
With the infusion of oxygen, colour returned to his skin. Elena prepared to take the blood as his mother peppered me with anxious questions.
In the end, normalcy was on its way. With some antibiotics, in a couple of days, the boy was sure to get better. I told his mother not to worry, relaying the progress to her.
Moments later, I left the ward and proceeded to my office. The day had slowly swept by and I was writhing in tiredness. I packed up, hanging my coat on my arm before swinging out of my office.
A nurse was passing by but halted on seeing me.
Her brows shot up, "Doc, you're leaving?"
I strodded past her, aware of her company, "Yeah, I won't be staying all night. What about the kid?"
"His mother is still with him. She's feeding him at the moment."
"And Detective Berrycloth?"
"His vital signs are stable and within normal limits. The patient is conscious and comfortable."
"His outlook for recovery should be good or excellent." I glanced at her.
"That's correct doc."
"Good."
The ride back home was short and uneventful. The road merely had occupants given the time my car engine sung to the city. I relished the roaring winds that twirled in my long, wavy, black hair and whistled in my ears. It shielded my eyes from the empty road, momentarily blinding me. Every two seconds, I'd have to push the locks away from my face for clarity. It reminded me that I needed to get a trim, sooner than later.
My phone beeped. Consistently flicking my eyes from the road and into the holder, my hand rummaged the little space for the ringing phone.
It was an unknown number. I frowned. I wasn't one to socialise. I was familiar with quite a number of elites, most of them I had encountered through Arnold and still, very few were in possession of my personal number. My personal space was very much cherished. It was a bit strange now because I knew not the digits blinking furiously on the screen. Give or take, it was a wrong number. The possibilities were higher than the opposite.
"Miss. Daughtler?"
The voice was unknown. The creases on my brow only increased at the caller's knowledge of my name, "Yeah, who's this?"
"Mr. Dankworth's fiancée. Positive?" At the mention of Arnold, colour drained from my face as white as a slice of bread, blood rushed to my ears, my stomach lurched and my heart began to ache.
Arnold
Arnold
Arnold
The mantra rang incessantly in my ears like a prayer.
Arnold. The man who has my heart.
With my heart in my throat, my heart pounding, my lips parted, "Wh-what's wrong? What's wrong with Arnold? Is he okay?" I doubted the audibility of my voice. I couldn't hear myself speak. I wasn't even sure he had heard me.
"Mr. Dankworth has just been involved in an accident. He's been badly injured and rushed down to Huntington Memorial Hospital....."
Like an arrow from a bow, the car tyres screeched against the hard concrete stopping at the middle of the road, my phone fell from my hands. I could still hear his voice but his words were complete gibberish to me. I couldn't comprehend a thing other than.....
Arnold
I gasped as the realization painfully dawned on me....slapping me hard in the face....dispelling all the air away from my lungs.
He's dying....
I screamed.
*****
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