Chapter 38: Responding With So Much Pain

It's already the peak of the evening when Zen stirred awake from his sleep.

He felt like hitting himself the moment he realized that he had been snoring away beside Anastasia this whole time. His head was resting on the side of her bed while his upper body was bent forward. It seemed like he ended up falling asleep inside her bedroom once more - without him really intending to, that is.

"And here I swore I'd just stare at her for a while longer before going back..." Zen muttered with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck all the while.

"Why did I have to fall asleep?"

That's when his eyes dart back to Anastasia. She remains fast asleep on her bed, her chest slightly heaving up and down. But then, for some reason, she also appears somewhat frantic and uneasy - it's as if she's in the middle of having a nightmare.

Her brows are furrowed for a bit while her mouth is curved down into a frown. Though her physical body stays still, her mind seems to be not.

"Sia...?" Zen called out, completely taken aback.

In a haste, he rises from his seat and dips his head down, leaning closer to her. He then stretches out his hand and gently brushes her cheek with the back of his fingers in an attempt to soothe her even just for a little. His other hand reached for the stray strand of hair on her face before putting it behind her ear.

As much as Zen did not want to bother Anastasia, these small movements of his caused her to start stirring in her sleep. Without him really planning to, he ended up waking her.

He then suddenly found himself nearly knocked out of breath the second he locked contact with the most beautiful pair of sapphires that he has ever laid eyes on. This was followed by the most adorable moan he had ever listened to. Just like what he kept thinking every time he saw her waking up from her slumber, she's very cute and endearing.

At that very moment, Zen can't help but think that Anastasia really looks like a princess with how downright precious everything about her is.

"Princess, huh..." he mused out loud with a reminiscent gaze, spreading a bittersweet smile at the same time.

"Indeed, you used to dream of being one even just for a day. Forgive me for taking this long to make your wish come true."

By that point, Anastasia appears half-awake. She just continues staring back at Zen with a dazed expression while he simply returns this with a warm and affectionate smile.

For the next seconds to come, he only lets her pull her bearings together and take her time recognizing her surroundings.

"L-Lucien..."

Then, he froze in nonplus.

As soon as she said that name out of nowhere, his everything went thunderstruck still. His eyes immediately widened like saucers while his mouth gaped a little.

She doesn't seem to be fully awake yet, which may mean that whatever it is she's dreaming about earlier has something to do with that name. Now that she's looking at him, it gives him the impression that she's also seeing some sort of image in him.

His entirety goes a bit numb by how sudden it is. He sure wasn't prepared, though it wasn't really just the fact that she called him that.

It's also the way Anastasia is now staring at Zen with an extremely pained expression.

"Lucien..." she kept saying repeatedly, her misty blue eyes seemingly glistening with tears.

"W-Why...?" he then ended up saying with a wavering voice as he drowned into an ocean of emotions at that very second.

"Why would you respond with so much hurt, Sia?"

At this, he himself felt his heart throbbing so much in pain.

Zen had a strong feeling that Anastasia just recovered a portion of her memories again, but he didn't expect that this was how it would end up to be. Going by her grief-stricken look alone, he could tell that out of all the memories she could have remembered first with regards to that name, it had to be the ones that would make her muster such a heart-wrenching display.

Unbeknownst to Zen, though, what's causing Anastasia all these hearthaches now is not only the memories.

It's also the abrupt rush of these bittersweet and unbearably painful feelings that took over her. Even though she still couldn't clearly remember everything about Lucien, all the emotions she felt towards that person just went ahead and began tyrannizing her the moment she caught sight of Zen.

For a second, their looks overlapped with each other. It's as if they're two sides of a coin that have finally revealed themselves as one in the same.

Then, before Anastasia knew it, she found herself somewhat appalled - perhaps, traumatized.

It's like a once forgotten memory coming back to her - haunting her as a nightmare this time around.

"Lucien..." she trailed off for the last time before slowly losing consciousness - a side effect of recovering her memories.

Right then, Anastasia had a sudden, brief flashback where Lucien was crying out her name while she was falling back - hundreds or thousands of feet down below her.

"I love you, Lucien."