Chapter 21: Hemorrhagic Shock

Nita is busy looking at Nick's vitals and chart. You start to get lost in your own thoughts again. You just stare at Nick next to you and you know that you should do something to get word to John to move on with his own life because, in your mind, you moved on. You will make yourself available and you will wait for Nick. He saved your life and you know you want him with you. You know that you won't leave him, as Helena does.

You feel your body getting tired. You look at the amount of blood you've donated and you know that you're dangerously close to donating too much but you also know that Nick needs more blood. Nita turns to you and looks at your vitals.

"Kim…you should stop now"

She starts to close the tube that extracts the blood. You grab her hand.

"No! Stop!"

"Kim, you know you can't go on. You're draining too much blood"

"How much does Nick still need?"

She looks at his vitals again and she turns to you, looking awful.

"He still needs about ten millilitres and you're already twenty millilitres over your limit…and if you give any more than you will surely go into hemorrhagic shock and I can't allow that, Kim"

You hear what she's saying, you understand what the situation is but you can't get yourself to agree with her. You look at her and see that her face is stern and she's very serious.

"I have to push through, Nita….it's not some random guy….it's Nick"

She shakes her head violently and then looks at Nick laying there lifeless and then looks back at you.

"I know….I know, It's Nick but it's you, Kim, and I can't be the one that chooses between you two but I also can't stand here and knowingly let you go ahead with this"

You understand where she's coming from and you understand that this isn't something that a doctor would like to do but right here, right now, Nick is more important to you.

"You know there's one way that you can help me…"

"No! I can't see you going through something like that. I just can't! You can't ask me to do this to you, you can't"

"Listen to me Nita, look at Nick….look at him…"

She unwillingly looks at him. You know she cares deeply for him too. This was evident the first time you met Nita when she asked Nick to carry your luggage. She looked at him with great respect and she made no secret of what a great soldier he is.

"We have a chance to save Nick's life. You and I both know that when a patient losses too much blood, like Nick, the chance of them recover isn't so great. But what if you know and control the blood loss, then you can just replace my the blood I lose with enough fluids-"

"I'll just stop you right there, I know where you're going with this but you know that you can't play with something like that. I don't want to lose Nick but I don't want to hurt you either"

"Listen, if you get all the things ready and know exactly when it's going to happen and you start to prep me beforehand, you can control the outcome. Look, Helena isn't here so I need you to be the doctor now because I've made up my mind. I'm going to help Nick. He saved my life for god's sake! Nita….do this for me, please"

She looks at the floor then back to you. "I'm not going to win this, am I?"

You sigh a sigh of relief. "No, you're not going to"

"Okay, Kim but you do exactly what I say and you don't disagree with me? Deal?"

"Yes, mam!"

"Don't joke, don't be nice….just…just I need to be mad at you…cause if I lose you, I don't want to feel bad. I want to be mad"

You grab her arm and pull her down to you. "I know that you won't let me die on you"

"You're damn right"

She smiles at you and starts to get all the necessary equipment and fluids. You look at Nick again and you know now more than ever you want to do this for Nick. You don't know him very well but you do know about him makes you want to give this to him. You're not blinded by his good looks or his cocky smile. You're blinded by his soul, his good nature, his essence. Nita walks back to your side.

"Okay, I'm ready. I've got to ask you one more time. Are you very sure you want to do this?"

"More sure than I've been in a long time, about anything"

"Okay, but I did tell you, not to do this. Let the record show….how are you feeling?"

"I'm grip him you make…."

"Kim??"

You feel yourself slipping away.

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

He opens his eyes slowly and everything is still fussy and out of focus but he's body feels revived and refreshed. He moves his hurt leg a bit and a sharp pain shoots through his leg. He knows not to move that leg again. He closes his eyes again and then opens it again. Now things are a bit more in focus. He's laying on his back and he stares straight into the roof of the tent.

Then his hearing returns as if this was also out of focus. He hears the buzzing of the hospital and its people, then the noises of the machines become louder. He looks at his arm and then sees the tube running into his arm is filled with blood. Then he remembers that you were next to him giving blood to him. He turns his head to where he last saw you but he can't see you, he only sees Nita standing and working over your bed and a few nurses. He can't understand why but then he sees a glimpse of you and your eyes is closed. He closes his eyes again and tries to focus hard and look again.

He sees you just laying there, lifeless…