Chapter 3: Merlin #1
"Rise and shine, milord!"
Merlin threw back the curtains to Arthur's windows and set down the tray of food he'd brought from the kitchens.
"Mmf... go away..." Arthur mumbled, turning over in his bed and shoving his face into the soft pillows resting to his side. Merlin chuckled before ripping them away from the king. He could do that freely for now, since Gwen decided she'd rather sleep in the quarters next door to Arthur as she mourned for the recent (it's actually been a year) loss of Lancelot.
"Come on Arthur, or you'll be late for training!"
At that, Arthur's messy head popped out from under the mounds of blankets and pillows as he looked at Merlin with bleary eyes. He groaned, then forced himself off the bed and to the table, preparing to eat as Merlin laid out his clothes and armour on the, now empty, bed.
All of a sudden, Merlin doubled over in pain. Just as he was about to drop Excalibur, Arthur's immortal-slaying enchanted sword, Merlin used his magic to freeze time and catch it before unpausing. All of this happened within the span of a millisecond, the only evidence left behind were Merlin's flash of golden eyes which Arthur missed as he'd been looking over the scrolls and deeds of land that Merlin had given him from the council.
Merlin sighed a quiet breath of relief, then slowly straightened himself up so that Arthur wouldn't notice anything amiss. Right at that moment, Arthur turned towards Merlin and started speaking about his duties for the day.
The rest of the day continued the same as it usually did, with Arthur attending to his duties within the council, training with his knights, visiting the lower town to hear of any issues from his people, and more along those lines. Arthur was an amazing king, and Merlin was proud to be his servant... and as Merlin thought these things, as he did everyday, he also thought about his secret. His magic. So many times had it been a close call, where just one misstep or the slightest delay could've revealed his biggest secret.
Merlin had started to take his destiny seriously after Arthur risked his life to get him that flower, but as the years passed and times changed, Merlin realised that he'd come to serve Arthur in more ways than just a servant, in more ways than destiny required of him. Destiny didn't tell him he had to keep Arthur happy. It didn't tell him to make Arthur a morally righteous man. It didn't even tell him to have Arthur fall in love or to have success in tournaments or to be a hardworking king... No, all destiny required of Emrys was for him to keep Arthur alive and safe, so that he could be the king to unite the lands of Albion.
Merlin realised that he had come to serve Arthur as a friend. As a servant. As an advisor. As a Dragonlord. And as a warlock. Merlin had come to serve Arthur Pendragon with every fibre of his very being. And that terrified him.
Because, whether Arthur ever found out about his secrets or not, Merlin didn't care. Merlin wasn't ready for what would come after – if Arthur rejected Merlin, didn't believe in him, stopped trusting him, or god forbid felt that Merlin had betrayed him... Merlin wouldn't be able to survive that. Arthur might rely on Merlin both directly and indirectly in terms of physical safety, emotional stability and more, but Merlin's very existence relied on Arthur. Merlin wouldn't forgive himself if he broke Arthur's heart. Merlin wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was the one that broke Arthur's trust. And Merlin definitely would not survive if Arthur rejected him completely. Merlin would die a thousand deaths for Arthur, Emrys would slay a thousand enemies for the Once and Future King, and even the lowly serving boy with magic would abandon his own happiness and wellbeing if it could protect his dear friend.
Merlin was not afraid of death. In fact, he'd probably greet Death as an old friend, however seeing as he is literally immortal it may be a long time before Merlin found something or someone that would sincerely kill him. No, Merlin was scared of himself, of who he was and what he could do. As Arthur has said before, Merlin was truly one of the bravest men - he did not fear anything, not even Arthur, the man that could very well be the key to this warlock's destruction. Instead, Merlin feared himself. He feared what he would become if Arthur was unable to accept him.
As Merlin was in a daze, doing his duties for Gaius as the physician's apprentice and picking rare herbs in the far ends of the forest beside Camelot, he suddenly felt it. Time seemed to freeze for a moment, even though he could see the few delicate butterflies to his left fluttering at their usual pace, and the doe to his right continued to trot here and there without restriction. Even so, Merlin felt as if time were frozen. He raised his right hand, and time was still flowing as usual. And then that pause resonated within him again.
The next thing he knew power flowed through him, in him, above him, over him, and back again. From the deepest cores of the earth he tread on to the furthest reaches of space that he couldn't even see, Merlin felt like the world was greeting him. It was so sudden, so powerful, that he had to set down his basket of herbs and lean back into the trunk of the thick oak tree behind him. He closed his eyes and lay there, still, breathing in and out at a steady rhythm. Only seconds had passed, but it felt like years to Merlin. His eyes flew open, glittering gold with hints of cerulean blue. He could hear himself gasping for breath, but it felt far away, so very far away, as though it wasn't him but someone else entirely in a completely different world. And then just like that, it was over. Everything was back to normal, the butterflies were still fluttering and the doe was still trotting, yet Merlin felt like he had gone to the ends of the world and back.
It wasn't hard to comprehend what had just happened, Merlin thought to himself. After all, with the way his magic thrummed within his veins and the way the earth pulsated and sent more powerful magic into him with every beat, it really wasn't very hard to notice. Merlin could feel the joy of the world, the way it welcomed him and comforted him. He felt a calm wash over him, soothing his aching muscles that he didn't even know he'd gotten and the gentle touches on his mind like mental hugs. Any and all sorts of stress were flushed away, anxiety and all of his negative thoughts and emotions disappeared from his fingertips down into the roots of the earth, which greedily drank it up and flourished brightly by producing a field of daisies, peonies, lilies, roses and bluebells around Merlin.
Merlin smiled. He couldn't stop the quiet peal of laughter that emerged from him, and his bright smile received the attention of the animals of the forest as they made their way closer to Merlin. Merlin, who was the most powerful warlock to walk the earth. Merlin, who was sitting in a field full of flowers and enjoying the simplicities of nature and the life it brought. Merlin, who was servant to the Once and Future King... Merlin, who was almost late for the romantic dinner he had to prepare for the king and queen of Camelot.
Gaining a burst of energy from the receding excitement and enthusiasm Merlin had experienced, he jumped to his feet and practically flew towards Camelot in his haste to get the private affair ready before the royal prat could fault him once more.
And so, Merlin managed to gift his basket of herbs to Gaius, used his magic to quickly set up the perfect romantic dinner in Arthur and Gwen's chambers, served the two rulers during which a few jokes had been sent his way, and then trudged back to his room in the physician's chambers to sleep the long and tiring day away.
The next few weeks continued the same as normal. The only difference was that Merlin could feel the magic within him humming, singing, doing something that just felt like it was so extremely happy. And he didn't understand at times - after all, Morgana was still out there, and the threat of Mordred (who was currently a knight of Camelot) still lingered in his mind. However every time Merlin's thoughts strayed in this direction, the world seemed to respond and reassure him that it would all be alright, that he was doing what he was meant to do and that things would change for the better if he continued on the path he was on. This reassurance came in different forms, the most common being him surrounded by a field of flowers as all sorts of creatures of magic and nature comforted him with their presence. Of course, this only occurred when he was alone in the forest or if he was taking first watch at night on a hunt with Arthur and the knights. With every step Merlin took, the earth pulsed and sent just a little bit of magic his way each time.
Although it seemed nothing had changed outwardly, even the knights and Arthur and Gwen had noticed how much happier Merlin seemed over the past few weeks. He had always been the smiling, clumsy yet adorable servant that trailed behind Arthur all the time, but even then it always seemed strained. Merlin always appeared genuine and sincere, but there was always an underlying sense of loneliness and sadness. Now, Merlin seemed to glow with vitality, every breath he took made him appear ethereal and even the servants were wondering if Merlin had been enchanted or something.
It was night. Merlin was in Arthur's chambers, blowing out the candles after doing a quick clean up of the messy floor. He knew Arthur, who was bundled up so much that the blankets were pulled till his chin, was quietly watching him, and turned to send his king a small yet sweet smile. "Goodnight Arthur. I'll see you in the morning." Arthur nodded his head then paused for a moment, before motioning for Merlin to stand beside him to which Merlin of course complied.
"Merlin, I've noticed... that you've recently... um, were you having any problems or issues recently?" Arthur peeked out from under the heavy blanket and blinked sleepily at Merlin.
His servant smiled gently and lightly patted the royal's hand that rested atop the blanket. "Not really, Arthur. I was struggling with something that was a bit difficult to understand, but now I've understood it and it just made me a little bit happier, I guess," Merlin said, thinking to himself about how he finally understood why destiny chose him and that it wasn't as much as a curse as it was a blessing, since Arthur saved him from himself. Arthur gave him a reason to live, purpose to his life, and always brought him back whenever he stepped too close to the darkness... and for that, Merlin was grateful. Arthur was his rock, his anchor, and Merlin would protect everything and everyone that Arthur loved.
Arthur stared closely at Merlin for a while longer, then nodded his head and turned away to get some rest. Tomorrow they were going on another hunting trip, so he'd need to wake up early as they'd be gone for several days.
Smiling softly to himself, Merlin blew out the candle next to Arthur's bed and made his way towards the door. Whispering quietly into the dark, "sleep well, Sire," Merlin closed the door behind him and made his way to his own chambers.
The next day, Arthur and the knights were standing outside the stairs in the main plaza. It was just after dawn and the sky was lit with soft pinks and blues. The horses were ready, the armour had been cleaned, food and drink had been added to the saddlebags and the men were seated on the horses. Waiting. Waiting for what? Well, it seemed they were waiting for one other person, who appeared to be... missing.
Merlin groaned. He was standing in the middle of his room, frantically walking back and forth as the magic in him continued to build up. It was thrumming in his veins, responding to his emotions and trying to soothe him as magic was a part of him, it loved him and wanted to comfort him. But Merlin was in a frenzy, wondering how he could solve this problem.
He'd woken up, and immediately felt something was off. No, there was no intruder. Yes, everyone else was still asleep at the time. Nothing looked different, but Merlin could FEEL it. But since he didn't know what it was or what would happen, Merlin took it upon himself to make sure today's events would go as smoothly as he could make it. Therefore, just before the crack of dawn, Merlin found himself in the kitchens filling up two saddlebags of food and drink per person, thinking he had to bring extra just in case. Then he tended to the horses, making sure they were well fed and watered, even went so far as to groom them so that they'd be in the best of moods, before hauling the heavy sacks onto their sides and asking them to politely wait for their riders at the stairs.
After all of that, Merlin snuck into Arthur's chambers and packed two sets of clothes for the king, one for warmth and the other for the cold. After all, not even Merlin would be able to predict whether they'd suddenly end up in a desert or get frozen in ice! Then he'd packed one bag of clothes for himself, another bag full of ingredients and basic herbs that could be used for both medical injuries and also sustenance... and then packed another bag that he'd magically expanded and filled with bandages, an extra sword or two, three knives, some sleeping potions, one magic book, and some rope (in case he had to tie up some bandits).
Finally, he dragged himself back to the horses at the front and loaded up his own horse with his extra baggage – extra, because he also had the two saddlebags of food and drink that the knights had, plus he was carrying Arthur's third bag (the clothes that the king didn't know about).
You would think, after all that, Merlin would've been prepared and just waited there. But no. Merlin decided to head back to the physician's chambers, in order to say goodbye to Gaius one more time. Gaius already knew they were going on a hunting trip for a few days and had both praised and warned Merlin last night about his duties as Emrys. However Merlin felt like he had to say goodbye to Gaius, because even if he knew he was immortal, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something big was going to happen.
And that brings us to now.
Merlin was standing in his chambers, staring at the wooden carving of the dragon that his father had given him... that was apparently floating in the air without Merlin having spelled it to. Now, Merlin was aware that he was powerful. He was aware that he could use magic instinctively, and some of his strongest magic was performed without the use of chants or potions. However Merlin KNEW that he hadn't caused this. And yes, he'd checked every inch of the room and figured out that nothing and no one had come close last night. Thinking back, Merlin realised that the carving had been floating from the moment he'd woken up, but he hadn't realised... which was extremely strange, since he had specifically checked if anything different had occurred because of his (as Arthur puts it) 'funny feeling'.
Merlin reached out his hand but before he could touch it, he doubled over in pain. This sudden action made him remember that it had happened before, when he was waking up Arthur all those weeks ago, however he'd brushed it off as it hadn't happened again. But now he felt like he was about to explode. He could feel his magic building up inside of him, trembling to be let out. He dropped to his knees, and by coincidence, his outstretched hand landed on the leg of his wardrobe.
Within seconds, the magic that was violently pulsing beneath his fingertips rushed out and into the wardrobe, going and going as if there were no end to it. Merlin felt the dizziness subsiding, and the pain along with it, as more magic left him and entered the wooden structure. Suddenly it felt like hitting a wall, and the magic stopped rushing out as if there was a block on it. Again, Merlin felt more of his magic lashing out, and the pain returned.
He gasped for breath, realising what was happening. Merlin knew from the moment he'd heard about his destiny that he was powerful. He knew that he was magic itself, but he'd never fully understood that until now. Now, Merlin realised... he was the literal conduit for magic, and as much as he can take, he must also give. He won't be losing anything, instead he'd be gaining everything. Finding his answer, Merlin's vision cleared and the pain dulled for a few minutes. And those minutes were enough time for Merlin to stand back up, use a spell to refresh himself and his rumpled clothes, before dashing down the hallways and onto the stairs before which the knights and Arthur were waiting.
"MERLIN! Where have you BEEN?!" Arthur yelled, the concern written on his face not matching with his angry words.
"Sorry, sire, I was saying goodbye to Gaius and he was giving me some extra information on treating wounds quickly," Merlin lied, sending a large grin Arthur's way as he climbed onto his horse and walked to ride at his usual place next to Arthur. Arthur grunted, acknowledging his answer, and they along with the knights finally set off for their trip.
Along the way, Merlin was very busy. He could feel the energy of the leaves, the grass, the hum of the small breeze that ghosted over his face as they rode on forward. And every time his horse's hooves met the ground, Merlin was channeling small bits of his magic through the horse and into the ground. As they rode through the lower town, Merlin's magic reached out and dove into the cracked land, nourishing the earth and filling it with nutrients to grow better quality crops. His magic entered the fires of the blacksmiths' shops, strengthening the weapons being forged and even giving strength to the blacksmiths themselves. The magic entered the water in the wells and beneath the earth, cleansing it from any sorts of impurities and diseases.
Merlin was giving his magic back to the earth, sending it back to its origins, but he was also gaining from it. He was giving people hope for their futures, strengthening their will and dreams; he was making Camelot healthier, not just physically but mentally, emotionally, and even the people's hatred against magic was slightly decreased as faith built up within them, and as they began to believe in each other and the beauty that is nature and life. The land was becoming abundant, the populace was promising, and a calming peace washed over all that resided within the Once and Future King's borders.
A smile rested on each of the knights faces as they followed their king into the forest. Arthur rode forward, his back appearing strong and powerful as a sense of responsibility and commitment flowed through him. And on they went, their journey full of jokes about Gwaine's love life and drunken stories from the tavern, laughter and joy filling the hearts of these men.
Two days had passed, and Arthur had hunted some game. Of course, it was actually Merlin's doing – this might be a shock, considering Merlin usually chases off any and all potential game for Arthur and the knights, however things have changed. Merlin became more intimate with his own magic, and with it, he became one with the nature and life around him.
The first time Arthur spotted some good prey, Merlin was about to chase it away as usual until he met eyes with it. It was a doe, strong and proud, silently watching from across the clearing. Merlin couldn't speak to it, he couldn't hear it's thoughts, but somehow he knew. The doe was showing him, it was indirectly telling him that it was alright. The doe explained, without words or action, that it was dying from old age, and that it would gladly offer it's remaining life as sustenance for its lord, meaning Emrys, and his king. At that, Merlin had no words. He was left standing there, tears in his eyes and speechless as he felt how content and satisfied the doe had been with it's life, and the honour it felt in helping Merlin.
Everytime after that, any game Arthur and the knights preyed upon had all been willing sacrifices. They were all dying, either from disease or old age or injuries... Merlin thanked each and every one of them, made sure their deaths were swift and painless, and took extra care when processing the meat each day for their meals. And in return, he could feel the magic of the earth washing over him as he ate, it granted him energy and strength and the remainder of the will of the lost animals only portrayed honour and gratitude.
Each night, Merlin slept soundly and safely. And every day, he continued to thank the plants and animals around him while sending his magic into the earth and bring about more life by nourishing it. Over these few days of the trip, the need to give back his magic had lessened significantly, to the point where Merlin felt like he didn't need to do it everyday anymore. But he still did, except now he could control how much it was and where he sent it to. As little bits of magic trickled out, the majority welled up again within him but Merlin learned to store it away. The amount of magic that Merlin was able to store was much more than a high priestess of the Old Religion could even use, yet this 'storage container' within his body continued to expand invisibly as the magic of the earth trickled into him while his own magic fed the earth.
On the fourth day, they were attacked by some of Morgana's men. Merlin had just made lunch for the knights and Arthur was sitting by his side playing around with Excalibur when suddenly a few dozen men in black appeared out of nowhere and started to attack them. The knights immediately set to work ridding these low-level minions from disturbing their lunch, then went back to complimenting how good Merlin's cooking was.
"I would totally marry you if you'd cook for me every day, Merls," Gwaine said, sending Merlin a cheeky grin and a thumbs up as he stuffed himself with more food. Merlin chuckled and shook his head as the other knights agreed with Gwaine.
"Who could possibly stand to cook for you each day and night, Sir Gwaine?!" Merlin dramatically cried out, making a face of absolute horror. The knights guffawed and Merlin smiled to himself at seeing them so carefree and joyful. His smile faltered when his shining blue eyes landed on Mordred, who was sitting between Leon and Percival chuckling quietly, before he shook his head and brightened up again. After all, magic had reassured him that nothing would happen. As long as Merlin was careful, Mordred and Morgana would be of no issue for him.
After the knights cleared their dishes and Merlin had washed them all, they sat around a small fire to warm themselves and listened to Gwaine talk about more stories he'd heard from in the tavern. These talks eventually led to Arthur's battle scars, then Leon's confrontation with all sorts of dangerous magical creatures, until it ended with Percival explaining his connection with the peaceful magical folk known as the Druids. All throughout, Merlin had kept a close eye on Mordred, who pretended not to notice, but every now and then he'd quickly check to see Arthur's reactions to these stories or at least to the magical side of things.
"I don't know much about the Druids, but I've heard that they're a peaceful bunch," Arthur muttered when Percival asked if he'd met any. "I've met a few, but every interaction I've had with a sorcerer has never been a good one. My father insisted that even the Druids are not exempt from the corruption that is magic, no matter how peaceful they are."
Hearing these words, Merlin observed how a few of the knights seemed confused. "What's wrong?" he probed, nodding to Percival and Elyan. The two knights looked at Merlin for a few seconds before returning their gazes to Arthur.
"Sire... magic itself does not corrupt," Percival tried to say. Elyan nodded along with his friend, whereas Arthur's face seemed to scrunch up in genuine confusion.
"What do you mean? Of course it does. If you use magic for too long, it will corrupt you and make you evil and do bad things. Even using a little bit of magic is dangerous because you could become intoxicated by it." Arthur said these words in such a matter-of-fact tone that it almost blew away the knights at how naive their king was. Even Leon, who had served under Uther and now Arthur for years, appeared to be slightly in awe at Arthur's conviction in magic being evil. Considering Leon had seen how much evil it could do, it was a surprise to realise how much good he remembered he'd seen it do as well, throwing him off balance.
"Sire, magic is not evil. It has the ability to do good just as much as it can do bad. It can protect, it can nurture, it can heal, and it can save lives!" Elyan protested. He was remembering the time Gwen told him that magic had saved their father, only for him to be executed by Uther. As much as he wanted to believe in the evilness of magic, Elyan wouldn't doubt his sister and the fact that there was proof of it saving their father's life from a deadly illness shows just how capable and good magic can do.
"My father fought against magic, magic took my mother away and it kills people!" Arthur emotionally wielded.
"No it doesn't," Mordred pipes up. He shared a quick glance with Merlin, who was staring at him wide-eyed and with his small mouth slightly ajar. But before Mordred could continue, Merlin shook himself out of his stupour and stood up, grabbing onto Mordred and dragging him away to a far corner of the camp. As he did so, he told Arthur and the knights "sorry, I need to talk to Mordred about something really quickly, you can continue your conversation!"
The knights watched in confusion and curiousity as Merlin took Mordred away. Then they turned to Arthur, who appeared to have calmed down and was also looking at Merlin's back in curiosity.
"What are you doing?!" Merlin whisper-shouted at Mordred once they were a safe distance away from the others. He let go of the younger boy and watched him intensely, arms crossed and a frown resting on his lips.
"Merlin, if we can change Arthur's thoughts about magic here, we could help bring about Albion!" Mordred began. He glanced at Merlin from the corner of his eyes, hoping for Merlin to see how advantagous this moment could be for them.
"No, it's too dangerous! Arthur might find out about us and have us killed or even make us build the bloody pyre ourselves!!!" Merlin exclaimed, taking care not to raise his voice loud enough for the others to hear.
Mordred frowned as he understood where Merlin was coming from, but they might not get this chance again. "Mer-" he began, but was cut off by a sudden high-pitched shriek coming from above them. Moments later, dozens and dozens of Morgana's men, about twice as many as before, suddenly appeared and attacked. Merlin instantly turned and shouted "Arthur!"
Looking back, Merlin found that Arthur was fighting off five men himself as were the knights, occupied by their own opponents. Mordred, barely a few feet from him, was fighting off three men when he suddenly fell limp. Before Merlin could begin to understand what was happening, a sharp hit to the back of his neck knocked him out. The last few moments he could blearily make out before darkness set in was of Arthur and the knights getting captured and knocked out too.
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