Chapter 85: WAITING
You've taken the bar exam and are waiting for results. No sweat, right?
Ten weeks of waiting, more than two months.
Many law students find that waiting for bar results is actually more difficult than studying for the bar. Why? The stress and doubt over my performance are enough to keep me up at night!
What should I do now? First, I need to make plans. If I pass and what if I did not. I'll prepare for my marriage to pass or fail.
"What are you doing now," Jacky in Video call.
"I'm thinking of you, and what to do while waiting," Juan said.
"Wow, go here!" Jacky said.
"I'll arrange it right away," Juan said.
Juan called Tony and Martha of going to Japan to arrange and plan for the marriage.
Tony bought tickets for him, Martha, Paulo, and Juan. He instructed all his managers and lead persons about his going to Japan protocols in the office.
Juan called Alex, and He extended his leave for another month. Buy Alex did not agree. He said to take full control of the agency wherever you are. You can call and be called anytime. All our lives depend on your decisions. I'm focusing now on the KALAHI FOUNDATION. I enjoy helping people. Just take it easy, you have organized it efficiently and you just decide on most critical issues and you can be online twenty-four hours so no problem. Anyway, you already finished the BAR exams so, what's the problem?
Juan had a motorbike trip with the guard and detection supervisors. They brought there big bikes. They visit the KatIchiKeta Takuma Home Tagaytay branch. They visit the patients and entertained them with songs, food, and hugs, and walking with them. They also enjoyed the near Taal trails and enjoy the scenery. Juan encouraged and treat these leaders as family. They also have that family feeling even if they leave the agency, after finishing college through the agency's scholarship and job. Even those who have done wrong feel that they are loved and they have consequences but they were not left just to be destroyed, they were given second chances, there were cases that a guard was imprisoned but they were helped even in prison. Many have really been changed especially those who have accepted the Lord Jesus as Savior. They said they had been a miracle that a former criminal becomes a loving father, a loyal husband or wife, a real friend that you can trust anytime. Many guards are not in government offices, in the military, in the police, and many have been supervisors and managers in companies. The culture, the work ethic, the attitudes, the brand of the Rollo Agency. They went home, full of love, and they expressed this to their families. The big motorbike is a symbol of their big hearts. Those who will leave were emotional, if not only for greater opportunities and challenges which the agency is encouraging them to take, they don't want to leave. Many who leave, and had realized they want it more in the agency, went back until they retire.
The Tira family is now on board the plane going to Japan.
They brought food, fruits, and gifts, in a container van. Katsuo, Ichika, and Ruthie were early in the Airport to welcome them. Jacky, Ely, Luz, and Joel also arrived. They waited but the plane was delayed, there was a typhoon. They prayed in the airport.
Katsuo, excited and want to have an idea what is the process from courtship to marriage in the Philippine culture. He researched on the internet, he Googled it.
These are what he found out:
Evident in courtship in the Philippines is the practice of singing romantic love songs, reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving. This respect extends to the Filipina's family members. The proper rules and standards in traditional Filipino courtship are set by Philippine society.
Often, a Filipino male suitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly manner in order to avoid being perceived as very "presumptuous or aggressive" or arrogant. Although having a series of friendly dates is the normal starting point in the Filipino way of courting, this may also begin through the process of "teasing", a process of "pairing off" a potential teenage or adult couple. The teasing is done by peers or friends of the couple being matched. The teasing practice assists in discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved. Traditionally, a Filipino woman is "shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor. On the other hand, the Filipino man fears rejection by a woman and would like to avoid losing face and embarrassment. This teasing phase actually helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship has not yet officially started. Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe", a Filipino term for a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and naïve in how to court a woman. However, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by asking for the help of a "tulay" (Filipino for "Bridge", whose role is similar to that of the Wingman in Western Cultures), typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both families. The "human bridge" acts as the suitor's communicator. Through this "human-bridge", the bachelor can also ask permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorette's father. As a norm, the couple will not be left alone with each other during this first home visit, because formal introductions to family members are done, which may be performed by the "tulay". Informal conversation also takes place.
During this preliminary evaluation period, the Filipino woman will either deny her feelings (or the absence of feelings for the suitor) and avoids her admirer, or does not become angry because of the teasing and encourages the suitor instead. The suitor stops the courtship if he is quite sure that the woman does not reciprocate. But once the female encourages the suitor to continue, the "teasing stage" comes to a close and a "serious stage" of Philippine courtship begins. It is within this stage where the couple engages in a series of group dates, chaperoned dates, or private dates. The couple, later on, decides to come out into the open and reveals the status of their relationship to family members, relatives, and friends. The serious suitor or boyfriend visits the family of the woman he admires/courts or girlfriend in order to formally introduce himself, particularly to the lady's parents. Bringing gifts or pasalubong (which may include flowers, cards, or letters, and the like) are also typical. Courting a woman in the Philippines is described as a courtship that also includes courting the woman's family. The actual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship may also result from such formal visits. In the past, particularly in a rural courtship setting, a Filipino man, accompanied by friends, would engage in serenading the woman he adores at night. This serenading practice was an influence adopted by the Filipinos from the Spaniards.
During the courtship process, a traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get", to act as if not interested, to be not flirty, and show utmost restraint, modesty, shyness, good upbringing, be well-mannered, demure, and reserved despite having great feelings for her admirer; a behavior culturally considered appropriate while being courted. This behavior serves as a tool in measuring the admirer's sincerity and seriousness. The woman can also have as many suitors, from which she could choose the man that she finally would want to date. Dating couples are expected to be conservative and not perform public displays of affection for each other. Traditionally, some courtship may last a number of years before the Filipino woman accepts her suitor as a boyfriend. Conservativeness, together with repressing emotions and affection, was inherited by the Filipino woman from the colonial period under the Spaniards, a characteristic referred to as the Maria Clara attitude.
After the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, engagement and marriage follow. With regards to the engagement and pre-marriage stages, Filipino tradition dictates that the man and his parents perform the pamamanhikan or pamanhikan (literally, a Tagalog word that means "to go up the stairs of the house" of the girlfriend and her parents; pamamanhikan is known as tampa or danon to the Ilocanos, as pasaguli to the Palaweños, and as kapamalai to the Maranaos). This is where and when the man and his parents formally ask the lady's hand and blessings from her parents in order to marry. This is when the formal introduction of the man's parents and woman's parents happens. Apart from presents, the Cebuano version of the pamamanhikan includes bringing in musicians. After setting the date of the wedding and the dowry, the couple is considered officially engaged. The dowry, as a norm in the Philippines, is provided by the groom's family. For the Filipino people, marriage is a union of two families, not just of two persons. Therefore, marrying well "enhances the good name" of both families.
Katsuo and Ichika was amazed of how they were involved in this significant family event.
The Tira arrived at last.
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