Chapter 10: Chapter 10
ᵂᵒʳᵈˢ ᶜᵃⁿ ʰᵘʳᵗ. ᵂᵒʳᵈˢ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵏⁱˡˡ . ᵂᵒʳᵈˢ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵇᵘʳⁿ.
Asher's POV
I ran as fast as I can I just want to get out of here . I ran until my legs felt like they were on a fire . What axel said shocked me . I swear I didn't know about this but why ? Why didn't he tell me before . How could I've known !? I ran to an abandoned park . Obviously no one was there i sat down alone on one of the benches thinking about what just happened .
8:30 Pm
Suddenly my phone ring and it was my sister Rose . Fuck ! what does she want now .
"Where the heck are you !?" she shouted. And I felt for a second that I lost my hearing.
"Oh I'm at the UK .. .. Where the fuck do you think I am !? And why do you care anyway!?"
"Good you answered my calls for the first time I'm flattered actually anyway.. mom is trying to call you but obviously you chose to ignore it . Come back now it's not like you that you are out at this time"
What the fuck is wrong with those people!?
I'm not a fucking baby!! I'm 20 for fuck sake !!
I immediately end the phone call . I just don't want to hear anything from this liar she acts like she cares in fact all of them .
They're just doing this for your own good .
Yeah right..
Once I reached home I've been gone for a few damn hours Lana and chirs were standing at the door waiting for my arrival. What the heck is wrong with this stupid family I can take care of myself.
"Where have you been young man !?" Lana said .
I don't care .. the word 'mom' isn't in my dictionary .
"Oh shit here we go again" I let out a sigh.
"Language Asher " She said angrily
"Whatever " was the last thing I said before I headed to my room .
"Asher open this door right now " it was Lana and she was banging at the door .
Keep banging I'm not opening it .
"Leave me the fuck alone " I shouted back at her .
"Please Asher open the door for me I want to talk to you dear I can feel that something is bothering yo-"
"For fuck sake just leave me alone "
I heard her sigh and I knew that she left.
I went to the bathroom and washed my face and I looked at the mirror and saw a hideous ugly man who messes everything around him .
I was a problem.. a mistake!?
I hated my life .
So much now .
*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*
One month later
Elena's POV :
Letter number one :
3:40 AM . A Very cold night . Thursday November 29 .
It's been one month . One month of suffering one damn month of pretending one damn month of telling myself I'm ok one damn month of listening to Asher's crap . I ever seem to only see sadness . Darkness. Depression . But it's just not fair do you wanna know what mom told me yesterday on the phone!? She told me we choose to be happy or not ! But it's not fair! She told me go for a walk listen to music or meditation and what did I tell her !? Well I told her that this can't be solved by doing some stupid exercises or listen to music . They ask me why you are always so sad !? The answer is always gonna be Asher! He's giving me a hard time ! I always think of how am I going to spend my day !? Isn't he tired!? Of chasing after me calling me bad names saying I'm fat and ugly making me hate myself day by day . I'm sick of this .
But what I do know is that I wake up everyday feeling like shit . Afraid of what the day is hiding for me . I'm afraid of everything I'm afraid of the world I'm afraid of getting out of my own room I'm afraid of putting my guard down in the fear that I will be judged for what !? For something I can't control! What a cruel world yet it's beautiful filled with kind people who are ready to help you . But it seems that the word kind isn't meant to be in my life . Asher I'm trying. I'm trying my best to smile at you remember that day when I smiled at you !? You laughed at my face . I was trying my best to clear this misunderstanding between us . You really seem like a good guy. Please I just want to be your friend! Why can't you see that !? Why !? What did I do !? You always shout at me telling me I'm just a mistake . It's just pain me that you are thinking of me as a worthless attention seeker. You asked me that day if we could be friends. And I was so happy Asher. I was so happy that everything is going to be ok from now on I was so excited that I told my mom that day that I'm a friend with the person I've always wanted to be a friend with !! Can you imagine that !? ... but then .. you broke it ! You lied you made fun of me in front of everyone. I tried to kill myself that night. And guess what I tried to call you that day ! Trying to figure out why you did what you did !
Life is pain Asher .. I wake up everyday and I'm in pain I go to college in pain you know how many times I've wanted to give up !? How many times I thought about ending my worthless life as you call it .
I'm not angry at you I'm just angry at myself that I let my soul dive in depression and anxiety that I let my soul give up way too early. I'm in pain and you put me here it hurts so bad that I can't breath that I can't ... I can't . Okay? And I hate myself even more for it .
I wish I couldn't feel anything I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing .
Words can hurt.
Words can kill.
Words can burn.
It's the loneliness .
I can't take it .
I'm sorry .
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you I'm sorry that I'm a burden on you. Even though I don't see you that much. But.. Hahaha . I know it's kinda weird but ... mom told me to hang in there . But i always tell her ' What happens if I got nothing left to hang on to !?'
-E
I put my pin down and hang the letter on the wall .
Hang in there Elena
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Elena .
.....
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