Chapter 4: What I’m I to you?
"Little Stela, is Leanna also staying at that hotel?"
I slumped on the car seat. My energy was drained from
me that I couldn't even manage an eye roll.
"Yes."
"Is she doing well?"
"Yes."
"Is she still with your brother?"
"Very much so."
•••
•••
"Estela."
That got my attention. He rarely spoke my complete name.
I look at his serious face as he cupped my hand and captured my eyes.
𝐓𝐡ᴜᴍ𝐏!
My heart slammed hard against my chest.
"Yes?"
I didn't hide the expectation and anticipation in my voice. Zhander was hesitant as he averted his gaze.
𝐓𝐡ᴜᴍ𝐏!
𝑰𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒕?
Never would I thought he would confess to me inside his car.
Zhander seemed to have found his courage when he held my eyes in his.
"I . . ."
𝐓𝐡ᴜᴍ𝐩!
"Yes?" I urged.
"You see . . ."
"Zhander, what is it?"
I was getting impatient with each second, and my voice conveyed it all.
"Estela . . . , I seemed to be . . ." ...
". . . serious with Leanna."
•••
•••
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕?
"I was waiting for the right time to tell you since you're Cain's little sister, and you're also like a little sister to me. I wanted you to know that I'll continue to pursue her despite her relationship with your brother, and despite that you'll protest."
•••
•••
"Stop the car!"
Zhander was taken aback.
"What?"
" 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗥."
I shouted, which made Zhander stunned.
The car stopped, and I stepped out with haste.
It was like the day couldn't get any worse when it drizzled.
𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!
"Estela! What are you doing? Get back in the car!"
Zhander grabbed my hand, and I was forced to face him.
Something in me cracked.
It was that thin line which held my suppressed emotions, all my desires, and pent-up frustrations –– burst out in violent motion. I shook my hand away from his grasp.
Zhander was surprised since this was the first time I acted this way towards him.
"Estela, I know you're angry at me––"
"𝗡𝗢! You don't know anything, Zhander!"
Zhander motioned to grab my hand again, but I recoiled.
"Este––"
"What am I to you?!"
He was speechless for a moment. Unsure of what I meant.
"W-what . . . ? You're like a sister to me."
"𝗕𝗨𝗹𝗹𝗦𝗵𝗶𝘁!"
I pointed at myself, not minding we incited some audience in our scene.
"I'm. Not. Your. Sister."
Zhander frowned, and I sensed him getting angry as well.
"Estela," he warned, "let's get back in the car." His tone was hard as the expression on his face.
I didn't back off.
𝗡𝗢.
The long years of enduring were not enough to be conveyed in a mere minute of conversation.
"What am I to you?!"
•••
•••
"𝗔𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗲!"
"What do you want me to say?!" Zhander snapped back.
•••
•••
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒈?
"Do you love me? As a woman? As Estela Fay?"
My voice was soft and low, and I could barely hear it.
•••
•••
Zhander didn't answer. He just stared at me with wide eyes. I knew he probably got the whole picture by now.
"Estela . . . I . . . You . . ."
I smiled bitterly at myself.
I extended my hand for a taxi. Zhander didn't stop me as he was utterly rooted to his spot, unsure of what to do nor say.
"My exhausted heart can't wait for you any longer, so make your move before my heart moves on."
I opened the car, and the cab drove off, leaving him behind, confused under the rain.
꧁꧂
Trembling and nervous employees stood before the cold
hard panel door. Their body covered with layers and layers of cold sweat upon hearing the angry shouts and hisses reverberating inside their boss's office.
"Y-you're his secretary. Help us sign this for him."
"D-do you want me to lose my job?! Can't you see he's in a bad mood since morning?!"
They quieted down when the solid door opened and came out a ghostly pale, lifeless man. He didn't even glance at them as he strode off, staggering, holding with both hands bundles of red mark papers while he stumbled alone in the abandoned corridor.
They gulped.
They could already see their future if they entered that gateway to hell entrance of their boss's office.
"No one enters this room until you re-draft those papers incorporating those exact numbers! I want it on my table in less than an hour, or you can kiss your job goodbye! Got me!?" Zhander's furious voice resounded before the door slammed shut.
The staffs all look at each other. Their eyes lifeless as their faces dejected as if someone had died.
Re-drafting and incorporating the exact numbers for an ongoing project and submitting it in less than an hour?!
That's 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲!
It was like he was telling them to lose their jobs
altogether.
𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒋𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒚?
꧁꧂
Zhander sighed and leaned on his leather chair while massaging his temples.
Since the time when Estela confessed to him, he had been on edge. He was extremely happy, but that only made him even more confused.
𝑬𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒂 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕!
It was like something was guarding and locking his feelings for her making him unable to comprehend the whole situation –– the reason why he was frustrated and angry since then.
𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂.
That's right.
𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 . . .
His mood somewhat brightened when he remembered their date later. He grabbed his phone and instructed the helicopter to leave in an hour.
He then tried to erase the lingering image of Estela continually popping from his mind as he prepared himself to go to New Haven.
꧁꧂
Zhander stared at the pretty girl sitting opposite him.
Leanna was simply dressed in her short white sleeve sweater and high black waist fitted slacks. But even so, the simple dress didn't hide her alluring curves.
He could smell her scent. Lemon and honey. Soothing and relaxing.
He remembered Estela's green apple scent. Just thinking about it calms him down.
𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒊𝒕!
He redirected his focus to the pretty girl in front of him. The attraction was still there. The excitement to know more about her was still there. The urge to make her his was still firmly there.
It was just that . . .
It was his heart. Unlike the time at Estela's confession, his heart was beating ten times faster like it wanted to come out from his chest. Now, however, watching the girl he supposed to like, his heart beat . . .
Normally.
Like it was not one bit excited about meeting Leanna again.
𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒊𝒕! 𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓!
It was a long while since the last time he saw her. He tried to message and call her to no avail.
𝑴𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈.
Honestly, he could teach Cain a lesson, but he's Estela's brother. Estela dearly loves Cain so much.
𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓!
He tried to focus his attention on his and Leanna's
conversation.
When she rejected him –– 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏,all he felt was the refusal to give up until the conversation turned into a confrontation when Leanna wanted him to choose between her and Estela.
His heart jolted awake at the mention of Estela's name.
He closed his lips tight and avoided his gaze from Leanna's teasing eyes when his heart screamed Estela's name.
He changed the subject instead. "Leanna, Estela is like a . . . s-sister to me. I can't choose between you and my . . . f- family," he said, voice cracking.
"Maybe so . . . But the thing is, Zhander . . . Estela is not your sister."
. . . 𝑬𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒂 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓.
. . . 𝑰𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓
.
. . . 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓.
That's right.
Estela was not his sister. She was not even related to him. But why did he still chose her from the girl he was supposed to be in love with?
It was like a key had unlocked so many feelings and memories, making him realized that he was in love with Estela from day one. But since he acted like a brother to her for so long –– he thought his feelings for her were only natural!
Somewhere in him knew that most of the reason why he came to see Leanna was to re-affirm what he felt about her. He likes her. But he doesn't love her.
He had been pushing his feelings for Estela towards other girls since his mind was so convinced that what he felt for her was like that of a little sister.
He smiled bitterly at himself.
𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐.
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