Chapter 47: Chapter 43
Everything is warm and bright. I don't feel like I can open my eyes it's so bright. Lifting my hands I try to shade myself to see but nothing.
I turn quickly at the sound of footsteps, "Hello?" I yell out, "Who's there? I... I can't see!"
"Maybe that's because your eyes are closed little pint."
My heart sinks, "Mama?"
My eyes flutter open, and I'm welcomed by her warm smile. She looks exactly as I remember. Getting a better look, I see she's wearing the same old blue jeans and white floral top that she did in the picture I had before I passed out. Her hair is in its neat black bob, a little below her ears. She watches me patiently with her wide brown eyes and warm smile.
I feel tears fill my eyes, "Mom is that really you?" I collapse into her arms, crying as I hold her.
"Shh," Her voice is as soft as I remember, "Oh my sweet girl. You've gotten so big. I've missed you so much."
Looking back up at her I see we're back at the house, but it looks clean. Like it did before mom died.
"Mom, where are we? What's happening?" Fear creeps into me as she pulls me to the couch.
"Oh my dear little pint," Her smile is gone as she pets the side of my face, "Why are you here?"
"Where is 'here' mom? I'm so confused!" She just watches me for a moment, and it clicks, "Am I dead?"
"That's up to you honey, but yeah, in a way you are. You're fighting, but right now you are dead," I see a few tears fall out of her eyes, "Why would you try to hurt yourself Rhea?"
I remember everything. Dad's drinking, the abuse, the struggling to have food, the isolation, Dominic, Jordan breaking my heart, I burst into tears again.
"It was just too much. When you left everything changed, everything just kept falling apart. I kept hoping you were watching over us and you would eventually send some sign that things would get better and they never did. Do you know any of what's happened over the years?"
She pulls me close, holding me as I sob, "I know some, I get feelings when stuff happens. My heart broke when I felt your father start drinking, and when he first hit you. I hurt feeling you afraid of your dad. But it's been years Rhea, this built up for years this pain. It went away for a bit and now it's back worse than ever. Tell me what happened, tell me what happened that pushed you to this point."
I don't want to talk about it, but I feel her gently squeeze my hand, her way of telling me it'll all be ok.
"I... I met this guy, Jordan, I didn't want to give him a chance but I did and it was so amazing," I chuckle and watch her smile, "He tried so hard for me, he helped me with dad, he gave me a place to stay when dad got really bad, he... He said he loved me," My heart sinks.
"What is it honey?"
"He broke up with me, got drunk and broke up with me, breaking every promise he ever made. I was alone again. I tried to let it go and it was just too hard. Not long after we broke up, another guy came around. Dominic, I met him a few times, he was odd but I never thought much of it. I babysit his sister, and when he asked me out, I just said yes, and then it was like that was the last time I spoke for myself," I feel tears fall again, "He got mean, and controlling. He was like dad but without remorse, he hit me and blamed me for everything. He... He forced himself on me mom."
I can't look at her but I feel her pull me into a tight hug, "Oh Rhea honey. I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could have done something."
I feel myself shake as I try not to cry anymore, "He made me bleed. I went home and dad was worse than I'd ever seen, he called me a slut and kicked me out! He said I never should have been born! He said you'd be ashamed of me and I was a waste! I didn't know what else to do, I was scared and alone. I felt like I was out of choices, and I just wanted it all to end. I wanted to see you again."
Her voice gets firm, "You listen here young lady," I look up at her, "You are not a waste. You may not have been planned but you were the best thing to happen to your father and I. The day you were born he held you and cried, he was so happy he almost forgot to let me hold you. Your dad loves you, he's just lost right now, he needs to be brought back to reality. I have missed you so much and I love seeing you, but you don't belong here honey. You need to go home, you need to bring your father back and fight this. You deserve to be happy, don't let anyone take that. You go home Rhea, you go home and fight that boy who hurt you, you make him pay and you set your father straight! I'm always with you honey, you won't be doing it alone..."
She brushes my hair behind my ear and smiles again, "But I miss you mommy, I want to stay with you. No one will ever believe me about Dominic, and dad has never been able to stop drinking. I'm scared!"
"I know baby, it'll be ok. I know you have someone fighting for you, he's helping you fight. I know this because without him helping you fight, you wouldn't be here. Go home honey, you can do this."
The front door opens behind us, but all I see is blinding light. I feel tears sting my eyes, "Can... Can you sing with me one last time before I go? I miss that so much."
She nods and goes to the stereo on the table, pressing play, I hear the familiar sounds of Billy Joel as he starts singing Piano Man.
She comes and takes my hand and we slowly walk to the door, her gentle voice floating around us, "He says, 'Son, can you play me a memory. I'm not really sure how it goes. But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man's clothes'. La la la, di da da. La la, di da da da dum," I smile and join her as we stand in the doorway, the closer I get to the light, I start feeling sick but it doesn't bug me, "Sing us a song, you're the piano man! Sing us a song tonight! Well, we're all in the mood for a melody! And you've got us feelin' alright!"
With one last hug, she gently pushes me to the door and I'm taken in through the bright light. I hear her voice behind me as the light fades into pure darkness.
"La la la, di da da. La la, di da da da dum."
I open my eyes and see a white ceiling. There's something beeping, just like in my nightmares of my mother dying. Panic sets in as I kick my legs to try and wake up. As I flail more and more I feel something tugging in my arm, looking down I see an IV in my arm. Confused I look around to realize it's not a dream and it's me in the hospital. A nurse smiles at me as she writes something down.
"Well look who's awake, how are you feeling dear?"
"Where am I? What's going on?"
"You're at Sunset Hospital honey, you had to have your stomach pumped," She puts her clipboard down and looks at my monitor as she explains how the paramedics brought me in and how I had to have a tube put in my nose, with a quick touch, I feel it still there.
"Where's Jordan?" I interrupt, "I heard him, before I blacked out I heard him say my name."
She gives me a funny look, "There was a boy here for a while, he stayed all of yesterday-"
"Yesterday? What... How long have I been here?"
"You've been out for more than 24 hours, you were brought in around nine o'clock yesterday night. The young man who followed the ambulance stayed in the waiting room for most of that time, at least until the police showed up."
"Police?" I panic.
A doctor comes in at that point, he's young and has a large smile, "How is she doing Jude? Is she lucid?" He talks to the nurse.
"Heart rate is a little high Dr. Irving but I think that's just from her being a little overwhelmed. She's very much awake and talking. She'd like to see the boy who tried to come in with her."
He nods and directs his attention to me, "I'll see if he's still downstairs, but in the meantime there are some people here to talk to you Miss Sommes."
He waves in a couple of police officers and I get scared. Did they arrest my dad? Did Jordan do something or get hurt?
"Ma'am, we'd like to ask you some questions-"
"No! Where's Jordan? I'm not talking to anyone until he gets here! Get out! Get out!" I hear a rapid beeping as tears fall out my eyes and I start shaking.
The nurse comes to my side and tries to calm me while the doctor removes the officers. My head starts pounding and I can't stop shaking. The nurse tries to tell me to relax as I keep crying.
I kick my feet as I sob into the pillow under me, the nurse keeping a tight hold on my hand. The doctor has since left to talk to the police, asking them to let me rest and go find Jordan. I still don't know why they're here, and I'm still scared something happened to him or my dad.
The nurse holds my hand and I squeeze hers until I start to feel tired again, my panic fading. I close my eyes and loosen my grip on the nurse, falling asleep to the now calm beep of my monitor.
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