Chapter 23: Chapter 23
Jordan walks me to my math class. He thinks my silence is nerves about the test. I've been thinking about last night this whole time. I swear I'm seeing Dominic everywhere, his voice kept me up all night.
"I said... Come sit with me."
He had been so close to me I'm sure he could see the sweat on my face. He had a grip on my arm as he pulled me to the couch.
"Are you alright?" Jordan pulls me from my thoughts as students pass us.
I shrug, trying to give a small smile before ducking into the classroom.
"Good luck babe!" He calls out before taking off to his class.
I slump into my seat and start tapping my foot. I watch the teacher as she hands out the test, barely registering when she comes by my desk. Her voice is hazy as I stare at the wall.
I shake myself back to reality when I hear her test bell ring. I turn over the paper and try to start working. No matter how badly I want to, I don't look at the clock. My eyes stay glued to the paper as I work. My head starts hurting six questions in. By question twelve I'm convinced that I'm never going to finish this class. I'm going to be in the twelfth grade forever. Thirteenth question, fourteenth, I get stuck on the fifteenth and skip it, unsure of how much time I have left. I can feel my heart racing and time stretch out. It feels like I've been here for hours.
I start seeing people turn in their tests, my stomach starts twisting in knots. I look up at the clock, hating myself instantly for doing it, I only have twenty more minutes.
I start rushing to finish as many as I can, I give my best guesses before going back to check my work. I'm worried that my work is wrong, I'll lose more points if I don't use the right method than if I get the question wrong.
I bite my lip as I walk up to put my paper on the pile. Ms. Morrison stares at me as I put down the paper and walk back to my desk. With nothing left but my anxiety I bury my head in my arms on the desk, my eyes start watering.
An eternity passes while waiting for the bell. I want nothing more than to skip the next two periods and go to lunch. I most definitely do not want to go to English today.
"Rhea!" Ms. Morrison calls out, waving me over to her, "A word?"
Oh god... I pull on my fingers until they hurt. I take small steps to her desk, stalling whatever talk we're about to have.
I sit in the chair by her desk and stare at her staring at me, "You looked really nervous today, Rhea. Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, just... The tests make me nervous, I'm really trying but I just..."
"I know that you're trying, it's evident," She leans back in her chair, "I see you're improving, you're last week of homework has all been on time and almost 90% correct every time. That's amazing improvement, so why so nervous still?"
I shrug, her only response is to tilt her head, still very much engaged and waiting for an answer, "I... I don't know... It takes me three hours to finish the homework, I only have an hour for a test. It feels like no matter how much I understand it... I won't have enough time."
She looks at a pile of papers on her desk, "Well you did the extra credit... That plus your better understanding of the material, this will be your best test of the semester. Did you answer all the questions, even if you knew it wasn't right?" I nod, "Did you show your work?" I nod again, a huge smile shining on her face, "Then you'll get points on every question, you did amazing, Rhea."
She reaches her hand out to pat my knee. I watch her scribble something on a pad of paper before tearing off the page and handing it to me. It's a tardy note, so I don't get marked late for my next class.
"Go on," She says, nodding her head, "And keep your chin up."
I pull my backpack close as I rush from the room. I feel my heart pounding so hard in my chest I think it might explode. It doesn't fade as I approach my English class... With Dominic.
I feel his eyes as soon as I enter the room. Most students give me no more than a passing glance as I take my note to my teacher and sit at my desk. My movements are stiff as I pull out my book and papers. The occasional glance in his direction I see his twisted smile. Just like last night...
His eyes on me make me feel sick. He made me sit next to him until his parents came home. The entire time he either was talking about God knows what while looking me up and down. A few times he would scoot closer, putting his arm around me or playing with my hair.
I force myself to stare ahead, listening to the teacher blab on about Frankenstein. He comments on our misuse of the name "Frankenstein", making an awful joke, causing all other students but me to groan and laugh.
I feel myself start to shake, my stomach twists into painful knots, like I could puke. My eyes travel to the clock, slowly seconds tick by, and even slower they turn into minutes. I force myself to take long, deep breaths as I watch the time crawl by. Dominic's eyes feel like they're boring holes into the back of my head.
When the bell finally rings I breathe out a heavy breath I never realized I was holding. I carelessly shove my stuff in my bag, ready to make a run for the door. I'm caught off guard when I turn around to Dominic standing in front of me as students file out behind him.
"Hey," That sickening smile is still there as he stares down at me, "Don't you look nice today," He reaches out to touch my hair but I shy away.
"Dominic..." I whimper.
"Shhh," He licks his lips, "You're ok. I was really sorry to see you go last night, I thought we were having a great time."
I feel my heartbeat get faster, I start sweating and my whole body starts shaking. My stomach doesn't feel like it can handle anymore pain as my breathing gets short and shallow. I start to feel dizzy as I back up to the wall as best I can.
"Rhea?" I hear Jordan's voice call out, I glance over Dominic's shoulder and see him as he looks in our direction, "Hey! Back off man."
Dominic's smile fades into a disgusted snarl as he steps to the side. I feel myself peel away from the wall, rushing to Jordan's side.
"Are you alright?" He whispers as he pulls me close, his eyes never leaving Dominic's.
"I--" I force myself to swallow, "I think so."
"She's fine Mars," Dominic growls, "Why don't you mind your business. I was just trying to have a conversation."
"Come on," His arm wraps tightly around me as he pulls me from the room.
He walks me down the hall to my next class, not leaving until I'm ok and in my seat.
"Don't leave the room until I get here, alright? I'll be here as soon as I can when the bell rings. I'll stay with you at lunch and then I'll walk you to class. Ok? Maybe I'll come hang out at work with you?"
I nod quickly, wanting today to be over so badly. Jordan kneels next to me and cups my face in his hands. He searches my face before letting out a long angry sigh.
"I'm gonna kick his ass I swear," He grumbles looking away from me for only a second, "I'm sorry, Rhea."
He presses his lips to mine, just long enough to make me long for more when he pulls away. I ignore the eyes on us as the bell rings and he leaves for his science class.
At least final period I have with Jordan, and then he can walk me to my truck so I can go to work. My only prayer is that Dominic doesn't come in today, I can't deal with that today.
My hands shake through most of class, my notes look awful. My throat feels dry and my eyes feel damp. Every second of class I want to cry but I can't. I wish I could go home, I wish I could go home and feel safer there.
I wish I could go home with Jordan. That thought reminds me I'm meeting his parents this week and I start shaking more, I need to find a dress, I don't want to look like an idiot when I meet them.
Mr. Jones looks at me from his desk while everyone works on the Spanish tenses handout. He's been on and off watching me all of class. He discretely comes over to my seat and bends over to talk to me.
"Rhea, is everything alright?" His voice is quiet so as not to be overheard.
I shake my head, "I'm-- uh-- I'm ok."
"You don't look ok. Would you like to step out to the hallway for a few moments, maybe go calm down in the bathroom or nurse's office?"
I nod, taking in a shuttering breath, "Yes please."
He nods and gets up, letting me gather my things and the homework before shuffling past him. I shove open the door, stopping a few steps down the hall to rest against some lockers. I release a complex array of sobs before rushing into the nearby bathroom.
No one is inside. I rush into the largest stall and break out into tears, my whole body shaking violently in the corner on the floor. I fumble around in my bag for my phone, holding onto it for dear life once I find it. I try to steady my grip as I type a short text to Jordan.
"I'm not ok."
I press send before letting my phone slip out of my hands and into my lap. Without a second thought, I curl into a ball and cry into my backpack on the floor.
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