AN:/// TRIGGERS AHEAD ⚠️⚠️⚠️
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At the City... During the Competition
"Hey. Isn't this the campus of Brennan?" Nick asked them and looked around the huge building in front of them. The city had such beautiful buildings and landscapes that the journalists gasped in wonders.
"Are you all ready?" one of their seniors asked as she left the bus they used to get there. They all nodded in agreement and walked past the crowd that gathered in the assembly area of the building.
"This school's huge!" Nick said as Nathan walked behind him. They assembled on the huge auditorium where the AC was too strong for them to handle because the weather is hot on the city. It was such a nice timing because they brought their warm coats with them. Suddenly, students who wore elite pure white uniform with black linings entered the auditorium and sat behind them. Their presence intimidated the junior high students but not the senior high ones since they too, have strong intimidating presence.
"Hey! Is that you? Nathan?" A voice called. "Hey! It's you! Hi Hope! Mari? Nick!"
"Hi Brennan." Nathan said in formal way which had the kids from the other school flinch because of hus intimidation.
"What are your events? I'm on the Sports Writing while Brennan's on News." Bright said and scratched his head. "I'm clueless about this but people placed me there after I went with Brennan on the tryouts."
"Good grief." Nathan exhaled because he'll be competing against Brennan. "I'm on news. Hope's on editorial. Mari's on broadcasting. Nick is on Desktop Publishing."
"That's dope!" Brennan said and sat down beside them while one of their seniors glared at him and Bright. "Let's aim for the top 15 and meet on Nationals."
"Yeah!"
Bright looked at Joy who was smiling at them- however, he saw that the silver had been taking over her newly-colored hair and they looked like disorderly highlights. However, she had taken over a stance that looked different to hin because she looked so intimidating and scary and her eyes that looked like a moon made her gaze frightening. "Hey, what's the position of Hope?"
"She's editor-in-chief." Nathan whispered as the welcome program started. "She's the top 1 in our class."
"Really? Then what's your rank?" Brennan from the sidelines asked.
"The girl with the brown hair there and me are tied on 2 while Nick and Mari are tied on 3. Mari used to be rank 6." Nathan proudly bragged at him and the two looked amazed. However, the welcome program soon ended and they were all sent towards their respective rooms. Joy loved teaching and she trained 10 students whole-heartedly every after class. She did not have any hardships since they were all responsive and dedicated. She looked at them and left to represent their school as the editorial writer, with one of her students on her side.
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"How'd it go?" Nathan asked them as they gathered after their events. Bright and Brennan were with them and they completely ignored their school. "But let's go at the auditorium first since our broadcasting team hasn't took the mic yet."
"I'm pretty confident about myself." Nathan said and smiled.
"I'm nervous for my students. It would break me if none of them would go through the next round." Joy said sadly and sat on one of the xhairs on the auditorium. Their team was on the back of the stage since the event was radio broadcasting. "They're starting!"
"From the news center of State Beta, this is KXCD News Radio where public trust is our only measure. Justice shall prevail and truth is our advocacy. KXCD New Radio, your number 1 radio station. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is Mari, Your anchor for today."
"As usual, Mari's voice is so beautiful!" Joy cheered after their broadcasting. Their team went out of the backstage and Mari came running towards them. However, her energy was consumed because of her nervousness and they decided to eat. The next broadcasters were from Brennan's school but they did not mind and went ahead to eat.
"I thought my nerves are going to kill me!" Mari said as their order came. "I was so nervous."
"Your voice is the most beatiful for me, Mari." Nick said and munched a huge chicken.
"I wish my students did great. They badly wanted to win." Joy said as she ate her vegetable curry and leaned on Mari as she gulped.
"Don't worry. It'll be fine." Brennan said.
Just as they were about to forget that they were there for competition, the adviser of the journalishlm club at Joy's school called her back to the venue because the awarding was about to start. They all walked fast enough that they arriced at the same time that Joy was called into the stage because they announced editorial writing first. After taking a picture, she found the spot of their school and she was congratulated by everyone. Nick's group was soon called, then Bright, then Brennan, but Mari's group didn't make to the cut but she was awarded as the best anchor and just one of the students of Joy made it. It broke her heart to see how her students cried to her because she saw their determination and they trained so hard to win, howecer, just one survived- the junior she trained in feature.
"Hey, it's alright." Mari said as she hugged Joy who was about to burst into tears because her students were crying. "Everyone faces setbacks and looking at them makes me think that they'd be scary next year."
"I agree."
They all went home soundly that night and their school was more than happy to have students going into provincial level because it'd be nationals afterwards. Those who won were given cash and books to futher their writing developments and they had the privelege of the prohibition for their teachers to give them grades below 90- meaning- their grades would all be A's!
"I'm so happy that the school also gave me money and privilege!" Mari said as she smelled the envelope with money.
"You really did great back there!" Nick said and sniffed the books. "This is the smell! I can't wait for this books to get old! Hey Fallon congratulations."
"Gee."
"Why don't we go to the rooftop?" Mari asked them as they were bout to go to their classroom to eat.
"Fine with me." Joy said and took her lunchbox but Fallon seemed to have other matters to attend to so she said no. They went to the rooftop and sat on the bench where they used to sit and they ate peacefully and happily as theit two monkeys teased each other again to the point of self humiliation. There was no mistaking that they were best friends and enemies as well as competitors.
['How beautiful. Your smile is beautiful.' The persona was behind them asnd she was watching how they laughed. 'But deep inside you is pain and disgust for yourself.'
A black piece was lifted from the well of silver light that emerged from the base of the rooftop- and it went to the persona's hand as she stacked it on the necklace. It glowed with black and silver lights that Joy felt something on her chest. The necklace floated in the air as the persona with the multiple cords on her arms cried as she saw it.
"Now that I have collected his soul fragments, you'll be able to remember him. I hope you accept the saving you'll receive." the persona said and disappeared with the necklace.]
"What's wrong?" Mari asked Joy as she coughed and choked on her sandwich.
"I'm fine." Joy said and smiled at her, trying to hide the pain in her heart that was caused by the thoughts that came into her like flood devouring all her systems to fight. Just as she was about to speak again, the bell rang loudly and it caused them to pack their things and go straight to their room. The clouds were so dark as well that it started to drizzle.
Throughtout the class, Joy can't seem to fathom all the things that their teacher was saying or rather; her brain can't function normally like she used to- she was able to deal with stressful situations on ordinary situations.
There were so many kinds of pain and for sure, she already felt more than one. There are pains that can't cut people deep inside, and there are those that will really cut people's hearts in half. She don't know what kind of pain stabs her that moment, but she was sure that it is something more than cutting people in their hearts because her pain was too strong she believed it can suffice to destroy their whole class. She tried suppressing the pain by thinking that it will soon leave her like it used to- but she can't focus because it hurts not only her head- but also her heart and no amount of motivating words can make her feel okay because she isnt and she never was.
Despite her pain, she positioned herself to look like she was listening to their teacher- like there was nothing wrong with her. She was sweating so much even if it was a bit cold and she looked and acted like she was shivering that she dropped all her things on the floor and Mari helped her pick it back up again. All she did was smile and hope that no one can sense or notice her pain.
Then the bell rang once again- meaning that they'd come home but Joy came first. She left running while her hair hid her face because she was crying. She did not even bother opening her umbrella because she wanted the rain to hide her tears. She doesn't understand what the hell was going on with her but what she was certain about is that she is in pain and on the verge of collapsing. She did not admire her way home like she used to and she did not pay attention to the people she came across. She simply didn't care and she doesn't have the leisure to do so.
"It hurts. It hurts. It hurts." she whispered as she ran until she arrived to her room. Her grandmother and brother was out in the market and she was left alone in the house. She threw herself on her bed and cried heavily until her pillow was wet with her tears. She hugged herself in desperation as her whole body was shaking, trying to calm down. She massaged her rib cage to ease the tension a bit but it was to no avail since the pain was too strong for her to handle. The looked down and saw her diary and she tried to pick it up but she stumbled and fell out of her bed. She took the diary and opened it- she doesnt even know why but she did it anyway- and words she wrote from it came back- like it never left.
"This day, I saw a person on the rooftop" she read but those are the only words she saw on the page. She looked into the other pages and discovered that the words 'silver' and' gold' also appeared- and she saw herself on the beach of the next town - talking with someone with a silver hair. She remembered that their hands were entwined and she was leaning in to him but he can't rember who he was. She tried to remember more but he more she did, the more painful her heart became. She reached out for the blade in the drawer of her table to cut herself- but that triggered her memories and saw a cut that was formed into words she can't read because her memory was blurry.
"I'm going crazy. I'm losing my mind. It's too painful. I hate myself."
Vivid pictures of all her most humiliating moments came to her like surges of water that drowned her and images of her most painful periods in life destroyed her more. She saw things that aren't there- like her moma being beaten by her father as Josephine was trying to stop him -like her brother beaten by the same person and they were all helpless and can't do anything about it- she also heard her parents' fights from below. She walked away of her own room barefoot and went down- and as if it was really happening again before her eyes, she saw her mother drop dead on the floor with her child self crying beside her. She was terrified of what was happening and she left the house while crying- but she saw her brother being bullied outside their gate- and he was covered in bruises. It looked ao real she nearly collapsed in the floor.
"Stop... Stop coming. I hate this. I hate this please stop. It's painful. Stop."
However, a barking clamored in her ear. She refused to look back but her heart told her otherwise and she subconsciously turned and saw her most favorite dog wagging his tail to her and his face with a puppy grin. If she hadn't known that everything was an illusion, she would have rushed towards her dog and hug him. She ran away from everything that triggered her and went runnung towards the beach because of the memory she saw a while ago. When she arrived, it was almost sundown and small amount of people if not none were there. She found the rock that she saw in her memories and leaned there, trying to recall anything that would help her ease her feeling- however, she saw her child self again playing in the water with her whole family- including her father and they looked happy.
"I wonder if there is some kind of universe where I am not the disaster I am today. I wonder if there is a place where I am happy; where I belong because I know it's not here. Is there a place where no child is beaten? No mother is battered? Where my brother is normal? Damn it! This world is too painful to live at! Hey heavens! I think you sent me to a wrong world! Are you listening? Are you even real? Why do I have to spend my everyday hating myself? Why do I have to bear the responsibility of being sensitive to other people's feelings when they are hostile towards me? Why, after so many attempts can I not forgive myself still? Why is this happening to me? I've tried to become good so why?! Why is this pain in my heart so unbearable? I'm getting tired knowing everyday that I'm not normal- that something is wrong with me- I'm always in pain- in desolation and hiding it from everyone to make sure that they wont worry is a tough job you know that? How can you let people suffer like this? Why won't you save me?" Joy cried and ran towards the happy memory of her in the water and brought out the blade she brought from her home. She was intelligent enough to know that one cannot kill thyself by self-drowning so she brought it with her to make sure. She cut herself once but it wasn't enough to distract her from the pain in her heart and she went farther until only her head was above the water. She gave herself a deep cut and her blood mixed with the ocean. Still, it wasn't enough for her to forget the pain she was bearing. She gave another cut on herself, and another, and another- until she got pale and the coldness from the ocean water made her feel numb. Her lips turned white and she was shivering as her body was transported on the deeper parts of the water. The water reached upto her mouth and she was too tired to make herself float.
"Hope! Hope!" a voice called.
'Seems like the hallucinations are as clear as ever.' she thought to herself and let the water engulf her. She let herself shrink to the seafloor but the voices became more distinct that she thought it was real. She placed the both of the hands in her ears but she failed to get ahold of the blade she was carrying and it fell on the floor. She felt her body trying to gain breath but she was too worn out and she did not know how to swim.
"Maybe..." she thought. "This is the peace I've always been waiting for."
"Maybe death really is the only eacape I have."
"The water and the cuts are numbing me and I can't think of my pain anymore. How nice."
She shrunken deeper
And deeper..
However, the moment her feet touched the sand, she felt a warm hand hold her hand and she knew that she was being carried to the surface by someone panting.
"Why.. Don't..." were the only words that came out from her as the stranger swam her out of the ocean. "Stop... Please.. "
The stranger seemed to be with someone because another person pulled her out of the sea and applied pressure on her chest for her to spit out the water she drank. It did not take a while for her to do so because the stranger was too knowlegeable about his actions and he knew exactly was going on.
"Hope. Are you okay?" the man asked as Joy tried to look at him because her eyes were blurry but the voice of the man was familiar and his necklace was so beautiful she will never forget it. However, she was angry at them, but deep inside her, she felt like the heavens heard her pleas for they sent some people to her just as she was about to give up. "What happened? You could have told me whatever was wrong; I would have listened to you without judgments! You think killing yourself would make everything better? You are mistaken! There is so much hope in this world and many people loves you and they are willing to sacrifice their all just to protect you! I am not blaming you for this. I am not. Okay?" He added and hugged her tightly andthe both of them cried.
"You must have been suffering. You must have been trying to keep it to yourself all the time. You must have been too hurt by all the thought that tortured you but you don't have to leave us.... There are so many possibilities that are available for you if you just talked to your loved ones because they notice everything - and if you dont agree with me, then I am telling you- THIS WORLD HAS BEEN HARD ON YOU SO WHY CAN'T YOU SHOW YOURSELF SOME GOODNESS? I know that the person humans can easily hate is themselves but you are magnificent, beautiful, and amazing and if no one can see that, they all are losers that doesn't have wide perspective or they might be blind. You shouldn't be hard on yourself because you are amazing- more amazing than your problems. You are Hope, right? And was there any time you could recall when you went down because of problems? You're strong because you have dealt with them even if you were crying and having such a hard time so you don't dare give up now! We all love you. Light loves you so please... Love yourself... Love yourself. Don't struggle angainst me anymore. Let me save you. Let us save you."
Joy was trying toescape from his arms but his hug was too tight and his words came from his heart that he was also crying- even Brennan from the other side was crying as well. She let his warmth spread throughout her body as she shivered because of the coldness and she could also feel him shaking.
"Hope... Let me save you. Just say it. Be weak this time... You don't have to act strong in front of me because I'd understand... All pains are reasonable and shouldn't be invalidated... So say it and we'll manage.." Bright said as his teeth were hitting because of the coldness, and Brennan joined the hug.
"Hope... It's okay to be weak sometimes..." Brennan said and his warmth pread onto thei bodies nd Joy let herself be engulfed with their bodies.
"S- save me....."
Suddenly, it became colder because the both of their necklaces lit up with different colors and Joy could hardly look up at them- but Bright's necklace lit up with blue- and Brennan's was pite white- all she could think of was to close her eyes because the coldness was so soothing.
"How did the necklaces activate on it's own without our chants?" Brennan asked Bright who was busy concentrating- with his eyes closed. Brennan was startled and he was sent flying towards the sea because Bright's eyes turned to gold an they were glowing too brightly that he hurt his eyes. Joy looked up and realized that they were both glowing- or rather she was caught up to his light- but compared to earlier, the light turned gold from gray and it seemed friedly because it warmed her up and gave her soothing feeling.
"Open up you heart to the chosen standing in front of you." Bright started and Joy felt a weird feeling that started to blossom on her heart and memories she had with the person in her dream flooded back to her that her head started aching.
"The name's Bright, the chosen one,
Tasked by the heavens to save people.
The moment I looked at you,
Your pain already vanished
And now I save you
So go and live long.
Live the life you deserve
I declare thee,
By the name vested upon me
That you are now allowed to rememer everything you are told to forget. "