Chapter 27: Adult
I wasn't quite prepared for adult friendship.
In college, there were functions, clubs, organizations, dorms, and many other reasons why you saw "your people" often.
But in adulthood, it seems that everyone has a different schedule, headed in different directions.
Some friends work 9 to 5,
some friends further their education,
some friends work night shift,
some friends get married,
some friends start having babies,
some friends move far away,
and quite frankly some just fall off the face of the planet. I was not emotionally prepared for that!
So I thought… "what does friendship look like for me right now?"
It hasn't looked the way I thought it would.
Adult friendship hasn't been cul-de-sac barbecues and group beach trips.
It hasn't been bachelor Mondays and getting dressed up to take photos at brunch.
It hasn't been full of themed parties and group activities.
But that's ok.
For me…
Friendship lately looks a lot like messy living rooms, random FaceTimes, and quick calls on the way to work.
Friendship looks like catching up with friends I haven't seen in a long time.
Friendship looks like planning lunch dates 3 weeks ahead. And being ok when things get changed last minute.
Friendship looks like exchanging books and sending funny memes, and maybe a random "I love u" text every few weeks or so.
Most of all, adulthood can feel very lonely until I realize that everyone is caught up in their own thing, on their own journey.
It's not personal. It's just life. And a lot of people feel the way you do, too!
When I'm lonely and long for community, what can I do about it?
If I don't like the way "friendship" feels right now, what can I do to change it? How can I best support my friends? How can I be intentional and make plans?
At the end of the day, what can I be responsible for? Show up. Love people. Give others grace + yourself some too. Try to be a good friend and make an effort when you can. Pray for community.
But most of all, realize that you're never alone. He is with you. He fills the lonely moments. He is a friend.
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