Chapter 12: I don't give a fuck
That image wandered my mind, walked through my dreams and disturbed my night. Was it just my imagination? Those eyes looked very real. Or it could be my adrenaline making me hallucinate. Anyway, I was afraid. Fear of those red eyes that took Atem. Fear of what he would become. Fear of how that red sea looked at me intensely, and whispered in my ear.
I woke up in a cold sweat. It hadn't been one of the best nights, and my body felt more tired than before I went to sleep. Still, going back to bed was not an option. I didn't want to see those images again, so I left and went to take a shower. Even the bathroom now brought back memories of him. I left the room sighing, and got dressed. I took out my cell phone checking the messages and saw one from Joey. He seemed concerned about me, so I called him.
He anticipated in an anxious voice, probably if I hadn't called, I would have done it myself. He said that everyone was in the tournament, but he didn't call me because besides I already have the medals for the finals, he thought I would be upset to have to leave the millennium at home just to come to the tournament.
I told you that I wouldn't mind. Even if I didn't agree with this story about Kaiba punishing Pharaoh by expelling him, at the moment I was trying to get away from Atem a little. I know it was a petty and very childish attitude on my part, but I felt like I might freak out if I didn't. Joey was surprised by my reaction, he was waiting for me to say exactly the opposite. But despite being surprised, he said that I would come to meet them then.
I hung up the phone, giving it an approximate time to get there. I scratched my hair and then looked at the millennium stuck around my neck. I was a little uneasy about my action, but I tried to think positively.
- It's for a little while ... - I looked at the millennium and sighed.
I removed it and left it on the dresser, perfectly aligned and protected. I took one last wary look and felt a warmth behind my body. I hesitantly turned around. My heart pounded when my eyes looked at the silhouette close to Pharaoh. His lilac eyes did not look at me, they were turned to the side and his hands, usually crossed and followed by a formal posture, were in his pockets. Was he ashamed?
- You go to the tournament, right? I think I should wish you luck. He bit his lip, still avoiding looking at me.
- Yes I will. Don't worry, I won't be long. - I smiled slightly. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, but I could feel a tense atmosphere around him.
- You will do well. He's an incredible duelist without me. He finally rolled his eyes, afraid to look at me.
-Thanks, but I feel better with you. You know I didn't agree with that idea of you being out of the tournament, Atem. - I made a sad face.
- I wouldn't let you stay out of the tournament because of me. - His face was now rigid, and his voice was quite thick.
- I know ..., but I wanted you to go to the tournament with me! That's not fair ... - I pouted and turned my face away.
- Yugi, don't do that. What are you afraid of? I already said you are an incredible duelist. He put his hand on my shoulder and smiled serenely, looking at me. - I'm sorry for not being able to support you, but I'm in an internal conflict. Please understand.
Finally I turned my eyes to him, seeing how close he was. Atem swallowed, moving away quickly. Yesterday he didn't seem too bothered to get close, otherwise, today he was even careful to look me in the eye. He was really in an internal conflict.
- It's just ... you won't let me help you. And he always solves things alone. - I frowned, looking at him.
Maybe it was stuck in my throat. I was really pissed off at the way he was acting. Atem always had been selfish. Because he thinks his reality is very distant from ours, he always tries to act alone and solve things in a strategic way. You can see it only in the way he duels. It has changed over time, but it is a very striking feature in it. If it weren't for us, his friends, he would be in a lot of trouble.
He stirred his fingers and clenched his fists. The eyes looked away again, moving frantically to look at any point other than me.
- I don't know if you could help me in this Yugi state. I'm dangerous. - He bit his lip again. - I thought it got better. That was just an episode with Kaiba. But when I enter that millennium again, they don't stop. The voices ... - The voice dropped, almost becoming a murmur.
He looked in a trance. The eyes looked away as the body became more and more tense. Seeing him like that was very sad. Atem was always serene and calm. He was the one who usually helped me and gave me calm and support in everything. I felt so useless seeing him suffer now. I should help you, just like he always did to me. He needs me.
- Hold on ...-
His eyes turned to me, but before I could even comfort him, my phone rang. He made a somewhat disappointed face and walked over to my bed, reluctantly turning his face to my side, but averting his eyes to the floor.
- You should answer. - His voice came out weak.
I glanced at the phone screen and saw that it was a call from Joey. I sighed and hung up. I could talk to him later. I looked back at Pharaoh, who was clenching his arms in a sign of nervousness. I walked calmly to it and put my hand lightly over his hair.
His eyes looked at me immediately, and I could see how confused he was with the whole situation. It should be strange for him to see himself like that too. My lips parted again and the anticipation in Atem's eyes burned again. But just like my second attempt, Joey also threw himself on a second call.
The ringing of my cell seemed to mock me. Atem this time, however, did not wait for any action on my part. He pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered it.
- Yes? His voice composed himself, becoming thick and imposing again.
- Yugi ??? !!! Joey's voice was anxious and high-pitched.
- Joey is the pharaoh here. - Atem heard a noise on the other end of the line and made a face, putting one hand on the other ear to better hear Joey's voice. - Joey? Is everything okay over there? What is that noise?
- It's a crowd. Kaiba had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the championship. He passed out and was taken away by the medical team. - He paused. - We're going to Yugi's house. Let him know.
Joey hung up and Pharaoh handed the phone back to me. His expression was closed and thoughtful, which made me much more curious and concerned with what was going on.
- What happened? They are well? - I asked quickly.
- Yes Yes. It seems that Kaiba collapsed during a tournament duel. - He frowned - They're coming here.
- Kaiba had a breakdown? - I looked a little discredited. - Is he okay?
- The local medical team attended to him. I'm sure he will be in good hands. I think he tried very hard, even after ... that. Pharaoh's shoulders shifted uncomfortably.
- Yes, probably. Your mind must be very tired, but Kaiba is stubborn and proud, you know ...- Said looking at him and he nodded slightly.
- Anyway, we should wait for Joey and the others down there. He scratched his eyes and turned to head for the door.
I impulsively took his arm. I was interrupted to comfort him, but I wouldn't let it go unnoticed. I was tired of not being able to return any of my feelings to Atem.
As his lilac eyes now turned towards me, I put my hands gently behind his head, holding the strands of hair that fell around the back of the pharaoh between my fingers. I quickly brought my lips close to his, and pasted them. Atem's mouth twitched lovingly between the kiss, although he seemed surprised and a little paralyzed by my sudden action.
His hands slowly entwined my waist and then we released our lips handily. I opened my eyes slowly and dazzled Pharaoh's face in a deified way. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were half closed, in that provocative way that he assumed without even knowing or trying to. Disguised.
- Now we can go. - I smiled childishly and he blushed even more, but managed to let a light smile on his mischievous lips.
I took his hand and guided him downstairs. It didn't take Téa 5 minutes to ring the bell. I answered the door and let them in. Even Mai met them, which explained why they came quickly (Joey and Tristan's paths were not lost).
- Ah, Yugi ... you should have seen ... - Joey came towards me, with a slightly strained face. - He just started having a mental breakdown.
- What exactly happened? - I spoke calmly, looking at Téa and Tristan who sat on the sofa.
- It was sudden. Kaiba was dueling with a boy, giving just a taste of what the finals would be like. And in the middle of the duel, he started to be… afraid of the cards. He didn't like to attack his opponent either. And he was terrified of the blue-eyed dragon - Téa said calmly - And then he started to have some pain and scream. People helped him, but he eventually passed out.
- It was really weird. - Tristan commented, and Téa nodded in agreement.
- The finals will end up being postponed again. - Mai said, a little indifferent to Kaiba's condition.
- As long as Kaiba improves ... - Said making a small beak.
- He'll be fine. A thick voice sounded through the room.
Atem, who until now was in the kitchen, returned to the room, catching the eye of everyone who looked at him with some surprise and curiosity. Joey was the first to greet the far Pharaoh just like he always did to me. He needs me.
- Hold on ...-
His eyes turned to me, but before I could even comfort him, my phone rang. He made a somewhat disappointed face and walked over to my bed, reluctantly turning his face to my side, but averting his eyes to the floor.
- You should answer. - His voice came out weak.
I glanced at the phone screen and saw that it was a call from Joey. I sighed and hung up. I could talk to him later. I looked back at Pharaoh, who was clenching his arms in a sign of nervousness. I walked calmly to it and put my hand lightly over his hair.
His eyes looked at me immediately, and I could see how confused he was with the whole situation. It should be strange for him to see himself like that too. My lips parted again and the anticipation in Atem's eyes burned again. But just like my second attempt, Joey also threw himself on a second call.
The ringing of my cell seemed to mock me. Atem this time, however, did not wait for any action on my part. He pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered it.
- Yes? His voice composed himself, becoming thick and imposing again.
- Yugi ??? !!! Joey's voice was anxious and high-pitched.
- Joey is the pharaoh here. - Atem heard a noise on the other end of the line and made a face, putting one hand on the other ear to better hear Joey's voice. - Joey? Is everything okay over there? What is that noise?
- It's a crowd. Kaiba had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the championship. He passed out and was taken away by the medical team. - He paused. - We're going to Yugi's house. Let him know.
Joey hung up and Pharaoh handed the phone back to me. His expression was closed and thoughtful, which made me much more curious and concerned with what was going on.
- What happened? They are well? - I asked quickly.
- Yes Yes. It seems that Kaiba collapsed during a tournament duel. - He frowned - They're coming here.
- Kaiba had a breakdown? - I looked a little discredited. - Is he okay?
- The local medical team attended to him. I'm sure he will be in good hands. I think he tried very hard, even after ... that. Pharaoh's shoulders shifted uncomfortably.
- Yes, probably. Your mind must be very tired, but Kaiba is stubborn and proud, you know ...- Said looking at him and he nodded slightly.
- Anyway, we should wait for Joey and the others down there. He scratched his eyes and turned to head for the door.
I impulsively took his arm. I was interrupted to comfort him, but I wouldn't let it go unnoticed. I was tired of not being able to return any of my feelings to Atem.
As his lilac eyes now turned towards me, I put my hands gently behind his head, holding the strands of hair that fell around the back of the pharaoh between my fingers. I quickly brought my lips close to his, and pasted them. Atem's mouth twitched lovingly between the kiss, although he seemed surprised and a little paralyzed by my sudden action.
His hands slowly entwined my waist and then we released our lips handily. I opened my eyes slowly and dazzled Pharaoh's face in a deified way. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were half closed, in that provocative way that he assumed without even knowing or trying to. Disguised.
- Now we can go. - I smiled childishly and he blushed even more, but managed to let a light smile on his mischievous lips.
I took his hand and guided him downstairs. It didn't take Téa 5 minutes to ring the bell. I answered the door and let them in. Even Mai met them, which explained why they came quickly (Joey and Tristan's paths were not lost).
- Ah, Yugi ... you should have seen ... - Joey came towards me, with a slightly strained face. - He just started having a mental breakdown.
- What exactly happened? - I spoke calmly, looking at Téa and Tristan who sat on the sofa.
- It was sudden. Kaiba was dueling with a boy, giving just a taste of what the finals would be like. And in the middle of the duel, he started to be… afraid of the cards. He didn't like to attack his opponent either. And he was terrified of the blue-eyed dragon - Téa said calmly - And then he started to have some pain and scream. People helped him, but he eventually passed out.
- It was really weird. - Tristan commented, and Téa nodded in agreement.
- The finals will end up being postponed again. - Mai said, a little indifferent to Kaiba's condition.
- As long as Kaiba improves ... - Said making a small beak.
- He'll be fine. A thick voice sounded through the room.
Atem, who until now was in the kitchen, returned to the room, catching the eye of everyone who looked at him with some surprise and curiosity. Joey was the first to greet aó, who with a gentle smile returned the gesture. Mai had not witnessed the punishment Atem suffered over the Kaiba tournament, but she already knew the story and opened her pink gloss lips to ask a question.
- Atem - She drew Pharaoh's attention to herself and then stood up, putting her hands on her hips and making a slightly irritated face. - What were you thinking when you accepted that condition of Kaiba? Are you crazy? - The tone of it made Atem think that those questions were rhetorical.
- Mai ...- He paused, staring at her intently with his serene eyes. - Sorry about that. I already said it was the right thing to do.
- Right? Do you think we care about your imaginary justice? - She frowned - Looks like a loser talking. She crossed her arms and frowned. - Didn't even cross your mind how Yugi would feel? Or us?
Atem bit his lips a little then, frowning a little. He turned his eyes to me and looked at me for a long second, then turned to Mai. His eyes seemed to have apologized for the selfish act, being so well placed and criticized by the blonde girl.
"It was for you that I made that decision, Mai." He crossed his arms, in a typical patience that let the words come out of his mouth gently. - What happened to Kaiba, it's my fault. You know that. Don't pretend you forgot. My spirit is unsteady for some reason, and until I restore my balance, I intend to stay as far away from you as possible… including Yugi. He sighed, weighing everyone's lilac eyes.
- But Pharaoh - Téa called, a little sly - We want to help you. You are not only Yugi's friend, we also feel the responsibility to help you whatever your problem is. - She put her clenched hand on her chest.
- I know you want to help me, and I thank you, Téa. But it is very dangerous for now. Even for Yugi. So I'm sorry, but that decision has already been made. - He frowned. - For now, - he said after a pause - you should worry about Kaiba.
Reluctantly, everyone agreed. I understood them. It was hard to accept that we couldn't do anything to help someone so dear. Unfortunately, the idea of focusing on Kaiba for now seemed quite plausible. For now, Pharaoh.
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