Chapter 6: YOU CAN'T KEEP A MAN THAT DOESN'T WANT TO BE KEPT.
Phyllis decided to take a break from relationships and focus on developing and working on herself. She therefore decided to have a sincere conversation with Anarisa, her best friend to help her get to know what she wasn't doing well for her men to be cheating on her. She was told by her colleagues in the office that she wasn't the problem but it's the men that have a problem with their character but she wasn't convinced.
She therefore paid Anarisa a visit and as they were having a conversation, she paused and looked straight into her eyes and said to her, "Ana, I am going to ask you a question, kindly be sincere with me." Ana was confused for a while because she didn't know what was going on with her. So she told her to ask her. "How do you see me?" Phyllis asked. She chuckled and smiled saying, "seriously? Phyl, you're the most loving and selfless person i have ever come across. Though you easily get angry, which sometimes is annoying because you get petty sometimes, you have a great sense of humour and know how to make a person forget his or sorrow and that's something I so much admire about you. You're also focused and ambitious and pushes everyone around you to be a better person. She paused, sighed and held her hands and said my only problem with you is how you get committed to a relationship. You put everything in relationships and go extra miles just to make your partner comfortable even if it negatively affects you and that's the problem because that gives the men the opportunity to take you for a fool. If only you'll listen to me, then I will tell you to stop being too committed to men. They're all cheats." She burst into tears as she said that.
Phyllis was confused and sad at the same time because she didn't know why Anarisa broke down in tears. She moved to sit closer to her and placed Anarisa's head on her shoulders as she gently wipes her tears. When she realized Anarisa was calm, she asked her what had been eating her that deeply and she told her how her husband had been cheating on her with one nurse in a different city. She was so full of pain and bitterness and so Phyllis told her to trust her so that she could share her problems with her since that would help her to get things of her chest.
" Phyl, you know this is my father's house and therefore we don't pay for any rent. The only thing we pay for are the water and the electricity bill but my husband refuses to pay for them because my little sister and her daughter lives here. He doesn't give me money to cook in the evenings because he claims my little sister and her daughter will eat some of the food I will prepare. The only thing he pays for are things concerning his children's school and that's it. He doesn't even pay for their medical bills. My husband doesn't want anyone to help me wash our dirty clothes even though I am seven months pregnant. Our washing machine is spoiled so I have to wash in a pan with my bare hands. I almost fell down yesterday but he wasn't even sorry for me. I never complained to anyone because I know marriage is for better and for worse and I know men are born to cheat. Every man cheats so I have no option than to stay in this marriage till death to us part.
Phyllis was so angry with the last statement Anarisa said so she fumed with anger, " why are you making excuses for your husband's infidelity? Why then are you wallowing in tears and bitterness if you see it to be normal? Are you going to stay in this hell called marriage till your untimely death? Who will take care of the kids in your absence?" Phyllis was so angry and sad for her friend so much that she forgot about her own men problems.
Anarisa looked at her with tears in her eyes and said, " I walked in on my husband with his mistress on our matrimonial bed and I had to walk out for them to finish before I could enter my own bedroom, I mean my father's property. My husband wasn't even bothered I caught him. He left with the lady and hasn't returned since yesterday. I realised she was heavily pregnant as they were leaving. I am so broken, Phyl. I have asked myself several questions about where I went wrong but I realized it was because I have been too good to him and he takes that to be foolishness."
Ana! Phyl called out her friend's name with tears in her eyes and said, " your husband brought his mistress to your home because he's ready to leave the marriage but don't know how to go about things. He just wants to push you to seek for the divorce. I can't tell you what to do but what I can confidently tell you is that, you cannot keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. When a man truly loves you, he stays with you no matter how ugly your flaws are. His love beautifully covers your flaws though he will talk about them just to help you work on yourself. Please be informed and reasonable in any decisions you take. I will support you in any decisions you take because I love you.
Phyllis put Anarisa to bed and went to her kitchen to cook supper for her kids and her before she left for her house because she wanted Anarisa to rest. She waited for her children to come back from school and helped them with their homework as well as their feeding and bathing before she left for her house.
She got home very late in the evening so she took her bath as soon as she got home and went straight to bed. As she lied down on her bed, she reflected on Anarisa's marital issues plus her own relationship failures and shouted, " indeed you can never keep a man that doesn't want to be kept". She cried herself to be as she realized, her relationship do not even fail because it had never been the men's intention to even make it work. They just come because they want to have fun and not to settle with her. She just wiped her tears after she realized she had unnecessarily been hard on herself and went to get wine from her fridge. She selected Kathy Perry's Roar and sang along as she drank her wine. When she's had enough wine, she went back to lie on her bed and said to herself, " I've got the eyes of a tiger and fighter therefore I'm gonna roar from now onwards". She switched her lights off and slept.
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