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66.66% bagel story

i can feel it in my crumbs!

I'm going to die aren't i? curse this wicked world! I'm supposed to go on an adventure as a protagonist not as another piece of street trash!

at least the sun's out so I can gaze upon the blue sky in my final moments

...

its quite windy out today isn't it?

its been a few minutes so far and nobody has even glanced at me.

am I not glorious enough for you?

maybe if I had legs this wouldn't be so boring

...

its getting dark now and I don't exactly have night vision nor do i exactly have eyes.

wait, how am I seeing if I don't have eyes? whatever, i'll leave it to the author to explain it later

"i am incredibly stupid and dumb even for a bagel"

hey! i can read too you know!

...

man, this is getting boring maybe if I moved my self I could do something interesting, i could become a stand up comedian, or i could become a great baker, oh I know, maybe i could become a magician!

i could do cool tricks with fire and cause tsunamis, i could bend the earth to my will!, i could even fly with the power of wind! it would be glorious!

i could fly with the power of the wind huh, that isn't a bad idea

hmm, if i am made of wind energy then i must be able to use it somehow but I doubt I have enough to move right now, maybe if I got some more power i could get myself off the street

and so, for the next 6 hours i waited, and waited, and waited, then I had an exquisite meal of waiting over a dish made of time until eventually, a huge gust of wind blasted me a few inches off the ground!

OW! why do I have pain nerves! (a few inches is like 3 times my size what do you expect)

welp, I think that might have done it, i can feel something within me, yet it's freely moving like it's not truly contained in me. this must be the energy i need to use magic.

but how do I release it? i have a hole but I don't want the author to have to make a dumb fart joke at my expense, I'll just try to circulate it around my body and towards the ground

as the magic floats around my body i can almost feel like I'm moving it to my will but it keeps slipping out of my grasp, i can control the flow and output but, i can't control the direction i just need a little time to stabilize myself

over the course of the next hour i spent it trying to control the energy towards the ground and training my ability to absorb the energy around me

from the distance you could see a bartender who has clearly been making a few drinks for himself during his work hours, walking home until he stops and stares at a most peculiar sight, a bagel floating an inch off the ground and headed towards an alleyway. "man, i gotta stop drinking so much" he says as he continues down the street

hello? oh good you're back on my story anyway, as i was just rudely interrupted on my greatest achievement yet heres a recap i managed to circulate my energy around my body and onto the ground and because of my old bagel bro, breadton's law of physics everything has an equal and opposite reaction and so, i was able to push against the ground and get my self a few feet away from where I started, ya got that all?

alright good because now I need to figure out what to do from here


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