Chapter 21: Living Slave
He gave a kind and welcoming smile as he put away his helmet on the table.
I went over to him in surprise.
"It really is you," I said happily as I hugged him, "Your brother's been worrying sick. We all thought you died."
"Hello, Roach. I know. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you earlier. I was... preoccupied," Cutter said.
"Your voice... it's different. But then again you rarely talked before."
"My vocal cords never properly developed. I had them fixed with some medicinal mushrooms. There are many things in this dark forest for both destruction and healing."
I assumed that if Cutter was here, then he must have been captured by those rebels.
"Did they torture you for information? Are you hurt?" I asked concerned, but he seemed fine. Better than fine, really. He looked as though he had grown a little, and his body looked like it was in better shape than before.
He shook his head to my questions. I didn't understand what was going on. But before I could think, I saw Hornet in the corner of my eye. She sat unconscious on the floor against the wall. There were some mushrooms with purple spots attached to her burn marks. They wriggled and spit out yellow juices that seeped down Hornet's body.
I ran over to her to see her condition, and I breathed a sigh of relief when she was still alive. I thought that we must be in some kind of prison cell, although I wasn't exactly sure. It's not like we were chained up. And it was more like I was invited here.
As I was about to rip off one of those mushrooms off of Hornet thinking that it must have been some kind of parasite, Cutter stopped me.
"I wouldn't remove those, yet. They're healing her wounds, both in and out. Her burns and eyesight should be fixed in time. I had them placed on my neck not too long ago. You should let her rest, too. Those things can be very disorienting," he said. I was wondering why we were here, but it looked as though Cutter was working for those traitors. But I threw that thought away immediately.
I said, "We need to get out of here. I don't know what these fools want, but they'll regret disobeying our Queen."
"Wait, Roach. Don't do anything hasty," Cutter replied calmly, "We are not prisoners. You're my guests."
"You're guests? Wait. What are you talking about? Are you- "
"Please, I need you to listen to me. Just keep an open mind," Cutter said.
I faced him and nodded my head. I didn't know what Cutter was thinking or why he was here, so I was interested in hearing. For a moment, I thought that he was a traitor like those roaches outside, but I quickly threw that idea away. I knew him for a long time, and there was no hint that he'd betray the Queen. There must have been some other explanation.
"Hmm," Cutter said, "Now, that my voice works better, I want to talk, but I'm not sure where to start."
I suggested, "How about during our attack of Hiroga City? Let's start there."
"I suppose that would be a fine place to start," Cutter said and took a deep breath. "I led my team through the sewers without a problem. We got out into the city and began fighting. It was the usual brutality of war. Roaches died. Dark elves died. Arrows. Lightning. Magic. Death. Blood everywhere to the point where I couldn't tell if it was my own or not." He paused as though he wanted to choose his words carefully. "But in the middle of it, I had a short respite. As I looked around watching the carnage unfold, I just didn't have the will to fight. You can call me a coward or a traitor if you'd like. I ran away back into the sewers to keep myself alive. I felt so sick to my stomach, but I didn't know if it was because I ran, or abandoned my siblings, or just from watching everybody kill each other. I know the Queen would have executed me for it, but I had an epiphany. I had urges to run before, but I never acted upon them. Whenever I thought about running away, the Queen would reassure me as long as I stuck with my brother, we'd be fine. It was like there was a heavy but comforting breath upon my shoulders. It was as though my whole body began to relax and welcome running straight into the jaws of death. But that didn't happen this time. She wasn't there, and neither was Viking. I felt no need to keep fighting."
I understood every word what Cutter was saying. I didn't think of him as a coward. I once thought about running away on my first mission against taking the dwarven fortress. I remembered wanting to run away, but after I realized what running away from battle would mean being killed anyways, I charged forward.
He continued, "When I ran back into the sewers, I vomited whatever was left in my stomach. It actually blended quite well with the rest of the sewage. Anyways, I was thinking about what I should do. I was lost and without direction. Usually, I'd just listen to the Queen to just give me direction, but that wouldn't come - not in these once-horrid lands. As I was thinking about my choice on whether to keep running or go back to fight, I was found by the dark elves. Seems like I found the king of the dark elves fleeing by pure accident. When he spotted me, I had no choice but to defend myself. He had a couple of dark elf archers and knights, who I quickly dispatched. But then there was one woman among them. A mage. You met her outside on your way in. She was more troublesome. She burned my neck. But once I realized that she was wearing the same kind of magic collar that the dragon and their sharks had, I knew what I had to do. I broke the collar apart. In that instant, she regained control of herself. She stopped fighting me and faced her master. The king cowered and tried to flee, but she burned him alive for her own personal revenge. There wasn't even a body left."
As Cutter reminisced about those times, he continued with a gentle smile. I just continued to listen. But as he spoke, I looked around for any way for all of us to escape.
"I must say that without her, I might have been conflicted on what to do. Viking once said that the skin of dark elves were beautiful, and I couldn't agree more. She was stunning. Magilla, is her name. As I saved her, she wanted to give back. We hid out for a while in the sewers. She knew alchemy and magic. She healed my neck and... birth defects using some purple-spotted mushrooms. my brother may have told you that he and I were born from the same pod. He took most of the nutrients and I was left with the scraps." Cutter sighed. "Don't get me wrong. I don't hold any kind of grudge for it. It was just the circumstances of our birth. We're brothers closer than any other brother. And we're still brothers. I respect him, and he respects me. We're two of a pair. And I felt something like that with Magilla."
Cutter realized that he had gone off topic and went back to his story. I was patient. I wanted to hear every detail before saying anything.
"Anyways, Magilla and I were planning to escape the city. Leave everything behind and start a new life. But we needed supplies for our journey. I found the remains of an old knight, and I looted his helmet and tattered cloak. I didn't know how long it had been. The healing process had me going in and out of being asleep. My neck was healed from the burns, and to my surprise, my voice as well. It was a lot easier to speak. Magilla had been going up to the city frequently, but when I got up to see what was happening, everything felt so strange. My siblings marched. Dark elves on pikes. I noticed that people suddenly afraid when one of my brothers or sisters walk past them. I had noticed my brother looking through the remains of the dead. But I couldn't." He paused for a moment. "They would have had me executed if I had gone back. So, I didn't. I wanted to live. Do you find that so bad?"
I shook my head. I could understand what he was saying. And he didn't seem to be mind controlled.
"No. I understand your position. I always plan on living after every battle. But you're still here. If you wanted to leave this place, why didn't you? Why didn't you leave with that dark elf girl? And why are you here with these people?"
"This is where we may not see eye to eye. I know you believe that fighting for the Queen is what gives us purpose, but I think that's a horrible way to live," Cutter said with a straight face.
"Do you know what you're saying?" I exclaimed, "That is our only purpose. The Queen birthed us and gave us purpose. We owe our lives to her."
"Yes. Yes. We fight for the Queen and her empire. But what has she done for us? I haven't even seen her once. Have you? She just stays high in her iron tower and watches. And her goal of bringing the world together... is a big joke," Cutter said angrily, "We get sent out there to the front lines as fodder. If we don't die, then we'll get sent to another. And another. And another until one day a single arrow pierces your head. There has to be more to life than that."
"Cutter. I understand what you're saying, but -"
"Roach. Tell me. Why did you disobey General Kull?" Cutter asked.
"His plan would have gotten many roaches needlessly killed."
"Do you think his plan would have been any different than the Queen's?"
"General Kull isn't the Queen. He was just following her orders like the rest of us."
"Exactly," Cutter said, "The general was following the Queen's orders. His orders were the Queen's, as I recall. Whatever General Kull planned was the standard plan for whatever plan the Queen had. So, let me ask you this. If the Queen had specifically ordered you to charge head first towards a city guarded by a fire-breathing dragon knowing full well that you'd lose, would you have disobeyed that order?"
"I..." I didn't know how to answer. I was sure that the Queen's direct orders couldn't be wrong. She was unquestionable and her authority was all powerful. And she couldn't have been wrong. At the time, I followed our plan only because I thought General Kull's orders were flawed, but Cutter's words made sense. But I shook my head.
"No. Cutter, this isn't right. The Queen wouldn't have given orders knowing we'd lose."
"Probably," Cutter replied, "If she knew there was a dragon, she'd have sent millions more roaches to deal with it. Just keep piling the bodies until not even dragonfire can burn through. Is that what you'd prefer over your more strategized plan?"
I didn't know what to say, but the more I heard Cutter speak, the more convinced I was that he was a traitor. But I refused to believe it.
He continued where he left off, "Just listen to the rest. Then, you can decide what you want to do. Is that acceptable."
It didn't look like I had much of a choice. As he spoke, I continued to look for a way out of the situation, but there were just too many rebels.
"Where was I? Yes. You asked why I stayed. Magilla and I was going to leave, but then as I was walking with her on the streets, I had noticed one of the prison camps. When I looked at those mindless drones work, I remembered that was how Magilla acted when she was shackled. Then, when I looked at my siblings next to them - it was only for a moment but I couldn't tell the difference between them. They were just as shackled as those slaves. Even the citizens were enslaved without even knowing it. They just changed from one master to another."
Cutter
"That's when I realized why I had such a strong connection to Magilla. She was like me. We were both slaves and pawns to higher power. Like with my brother, we were a two of a pair. I loved her. But there was something that held me back from leaving this place. I could have escaped with Magilla and maybe started a family, but I felt obliged to help this city. They were like me. I couldn't leave them. It took some time to convince Magilla, but she agreed to help. Whether it was to pay me back for freeing her or... I didn't know. It wasn't hard to find people who would join us. There were already plenty of dark elves unhappy about the occupation. People who lost their families to this unnecessary war. I even found some brothers who had the same traitorous thoughts as my own or just tired of fighting for the Queen. Some were injured, and when they were cast away, we took them in."
"Wait. You started this terrorist group?" I exclaimed.
"It's not a terrorist group. I want to free these people from oppression whether it be from the Queen's empire or magical collars," Cutter argued.
"You... you're responsible for killing all those roaches. That bomb. All this unrest. You-" I couldn't believe it. All those thoughts that I tried to bury away was all true. I unsheathed my blade quickly and pointed it at Cutter. Surprisingly, my hands shook. They never shook when I held a weapon before. I focused, and my hands and blade steadied. I said one word. "Traitor."
I shed a tear knowing what I had to do as Cutter continued, "That bomb... right. I wished that didn't happen. I had sent some dark elves to cause a distraction while we would free some of the slaves. I had ordered them to blow up an empty building, but they took it upon themselves to blow up a building full of my siblings. I still weep for them."
I readied myself for a fight. We were in too close quarters for me to fire my electric crossbow in time. Cutter was fast, and somehow I felt that his speed and dexterity improved as well.
"What did you to the ones who disobeyed orders? You execute them, or did they run away? Or maybe they started another terrorist group?" I asked.
"I... I let them live. Magilla assured me that she'd discipline them. And I believed her. I still believe her."
I was disgusted by his response. He let those murderers go free. They should have been killed for their crimes, I thought.
Cutter took out two daggers and looked as though he was ready to fight. The daggers looked brand new and carved with special care. But in an instant, he slowly let the daggers go. They dropped out of his hands. There was a clinking sound as they touched the floor. But I didn't let my guard down. Cutter was known to have some kind of sneaky plan. But there wasn't. He relaxed himself and looked at me straight in the eyes.
"I'm not going to fight you, Roach," he said, "I've already killed you in a million different ways in my mind. No matter what you do, your reflexes are too slow to be a match to me. Besides, I brought you here to talk. Just like Viking, you're also my brother."
"Trying to trick me into letting my guard down?"
"No. I don't want to hurt you. I brought you here in hopes that you could join me," he said as he held out his hand. My blades still pointed straight at him. He continued, "I have a feeling that my brother, Viking, would join with me. But not because he'd want to. He enjoys fighting. He enjoys being in the Queen's services. And that is his choice. I don't force anybody to do anything. After I free them, I allow them to choose what they wish to do. Some leave to make a life for themselves. Some stay to help. Applies to both freed slaves, citizens, and roaches. And now, I'm giving you that choice. But the thing is... I need you."
"You need me? Funny."
"I'm serious. Our brothers and sisters will follow you. I've heard that you've become something of an icon, dragon rider. They would rather follow you than General Kull."
"So, you want me to commit treason like you, traitor?"
"You've already comitted treason by disobeying direct orders from Kull. He let you live because if he killed you, the other roaches wouldn't follow him. I need you to help us."
"General Kull is one thing, but I won't betray my Queen or her empire."
Cutter angrily said, "The Queen's empire is already dead. You just can't see it. It keep expanding and expanding like a bubble. Eventually, it'll pop whether internally or from an outside force. And all somebody needs to do is kill the Queen, and the whole empire collapses with her."
My eyes began to emit rage after hearing those words. I took one step forward, but calmed myself down. It must have been some kind of ploy to taunt me in. However, Cutter didn't intend that at all. Everything he said was the absolute truth as he perceived it. But those words meant nothing to me. To be honest in the moment, I had wished that Cutter had died instead of turning into a traitor. I didn't think that I'd even have the heart to tell his brother, Viking. Although, I didn't think that even he would believe it. I was there and I began questioning whether it was Cutter. That's when I thought that this person couldn't be him. He must have been controlled. Maybe, Magilla used some kind of magic to take over his mind somehow. There was no sign of a collar, but who knows what kind of sick magic was at play here. But I convinced myself nontheless.
"Don't worry, Cutter. You're sick. When we get you out of here, I'm sure either General Kull or the Queen will be able to fix you," I said no longer angry. I kept my weapon up just in case that this mind-controlled puppet would decide to attack.
Cutter shook his head lightly in disbelief. But before he could talk, one of his traitorous roaches quickly entered the room gasping for breath. He had his leg replaced by some kind of fungal life. This one was left for dead after getting his leg chomped off during the siege, but Cutter had found and took him in.
Cutter said to the roach, "I told you that I don't want to be disturbed."
"I'm sorry. The enemy. General Kull and his forces are converging on us."
"What!?" Cutter exclaimed.
I smiled and said, "See, Cutter. The general will fix you and we'll all have drinks at The Lucky Oister. Have you been there? It's a nice little establishment."
But Cutter was more worried about his people. He ordered that roach, "Evacuate the injured and children. Have those willing to fight to hold them off as the rest leave."
"Yes, sir," the roach said before leaving.
Cutter gave out his hand once more.
"Please, Roach. Please... You could do so much more than be their pawn. You may think of yourself as just another roach, but that's exactly why they - we - follow you. You're nothing special. You're just like us and yet you're everything that we want to strive for on the inside. You may not have the strongest arms, the fastest legs, the eyesight of an eagle, or the intelligence of a mage. But you're strong in character. You're brave, honest, caring. And we need that. So, please..." Cutter begged.
But I didn't believe that he was himself. When Cutter realized that I wouldn't back down, he sighed.
"Fine... I won't kill you. But I won't go back living as a slave, either. You'll learn soon enough."
With his hand still open, he kicked one of the knives up to his open palm. It was quick and elegant.
"Cutter, wait. You don't want to do this. You don't want to fight -" I said, but I was immediately stunned. I was ready for a fight, but what happened instead was something entirely different. Something that I didn't expect - I couldn't have expected, but wished I did.
I don't know how long it took for it to set in. It felt like hours, but it was only just a second. I tried to process it, but I couldn't even begin to understand. The knife. A bloody knife. In his eye. In Cutter's eye. He fell without any struggle. Blood splashed out of the wound. It seeped onto the ground.
I was stunned. All I could do was stare. My eyes were unblinking as I tried to make sense of it. Was it a trick? Was it real? I couldn't tell.
I dropped my blade to the ground. It felt like hours before the sword even hit the ground. When it did, the sound of its clink startled me awake.
"C-Cutter...?" I murmered. I had lost friends before in battle, but this one seemed so much different. He died right in front of me, but not in some battle with an enemy - but by his own blade. Left in a corner between hurting me or going back to the Queen's Empire, he chose the one thing he could do to preserve his beliefs. And when I looked straight at his eyes, I could see his resolve and commitment in doing what he believed. Only now, I could tell that he was really Cutter since the very beginning. If he was under some kind of spell, he would have attacked. Yet instead, he aimed that knife straight into his right eyesocket. Yet, there was still a prolonged pause of disbelief. I just couldn't comprehend what happened. I don't know how long I stood there motionless and broken. It felt like years passed by in the blink of an eye. There was only me and him. I just didn't understand - couldn't understand. Rather than risking to hurt me, he...he...he...
I cried out one name breaking the cruel silence. "CUTTER!!!"
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