Chapter 4: Thank You, Jason
After that night, I went home. Still unsure of what had happened.
Still fresh, the horrifying scene of your dearest, thinking that you've betrayed him.
Well, I can only blame my own incompetence. My fragile and weak heart. My cowardice.
Pero as I said, paninindigan ko na to.
"Papa, andito na ako," I called.
"Oh, kumusta? Nag-enjoy ka ba?" tanong ni Papa.
I tried to smile and hide the pain.
"Opo, ang saya nga eh," I replied.
I know my dad won't be fooled that easily. He knew me since I was a kid. I don't know the reason, but whatever it is, I was glad with the solitude that he gave.
I lay down in my bed, convincing myself that what I did, was the right thing to do.
Until, I fell asleep peacefully—at least, that was what I was hoping.
Nightmares about that night came flooding. Waking me up in the middle of the night, drenched with sweat and panting.
"You deserve this." I told myself.
It became like this all throughout the night, that it even made me glad to see the sun rise at my window.
I sigh. Morning.
I am so eager to spend this like an ordinary day.
I went out of my room and headed downstairs.
"Oh, good morning," sabi ni Papa. "Come, magbreakfast ka muna."
I nodded and took my seat.
As I was eating, I heard the phone ring. Dad took it and I watched as his smile soon disappeared and replaced by a frown. He went towards me and told me news.
I had a bad premonition.
"Hija, Mr. Dean just called. He said that the wedding will be held a year from now." he said.
I froze from what I was doing. I gulped and looked at him.
"I thought 3 years from now pa yun?" I asked.
"Supposedly. Pero they were planning na isabay ito pagkatapos ng laban na magaganap. As you know, they're quite confident that your fiancé will be able to defend the title."
No. It isn't what you think. It ain't boxing or any physical sports. It's Chess.
As you can see, my fiancé is Barry Kindle.
You're right, The Barry Kindle. A widely renowned Chess Grandmaster, around the world. And the current title holder. Also, the son of a successful businessman named Dean Kindle. The man whom my Dad owned a lot.
Most importantly, a doofus. An egoistic douchebag. And a jerk.
He's been introduced to me, once. And I never liked the encounter.
Well, he's neat. Handsome (for some women), with his Canadian looks. He's got this regal feature that would make you think that he's a prince, spoiled by the King and Queen. But, he's so full of himself and acts like he can get anything that he wants. If you were to meet him, I'm pretty sure you'll be crying or laughing at my situation. He just doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Plus, he thinks women are below him.
So much for your typical Prince Charming.
So yeah, I'm doomed to marry this man. But whatever, I already accepted my fate.
"Yeah. I know. They've been like that. So, is it going to be held here? You know? The match?" I asked Papa.
"Yes. Here in the Philippines. And so is the wedding."
"So he'll be coming here a year from now. Not because of the wedding, right? But because of the freaking match. And he wants our wedding to be held afterwards to show off more," I said. Disgusted.
"I'm sorry, hija."
See? I know, I'm not really the reason for that. It's because of the upcoming match with his long time rival, Kristoff Lincoln, the former Chess Grandmaster.
They've been at it for a long time. Last year, Barry defeated Kristoff and regained the tittle. The previous year to that, Kristoff defeated Barry and stole the title. Yeah, they were the best enemies. Specially since the both of them almost had the same attitudes. Both are jerks and are very proud of themselves.
In any case, I've got a year to mourn for my upcoming misfortune.
"It's okay, Papa. I'll just enjoy myself from now on," I forced a smile. I got up and went to my room upang maligo na at maghanda.
"Okay, just don't strain yourself!" he called.
"I won't!"
Matapos kong maghanda ay tinawagan ko ang mga kaibigan ko. I wanted to spend the remaining days that I had full of happiness.
Hopefully.
Valentines day came. It was not a good thing for me, you know? Ako na kinailangang pakawalan at pagsinungalingan ang taong mahal ko, at ako na ikakasal naman sa isang taong hindi ko naman gusto.
Yeah, ang sarap lang talagang manabunot sa t'wing makakakita ako ng mga couple na napaka-sweet.
Pweeh!
Mabuti nalang at pinipigilan ako ng mga kaibigan ko.
"Bess, maghunos-dili ka," sabi ni Jason. Yung isa kong friend na bakla.
"Walang Forever!" I shouted at the couples.
"Tara, mamasyal nalang tayo sa Mall. Shopping, para mawala yung stress mo. Tatanda ka ng maaga niyan eh."
"Wala akong pake. Mabuti na nga yun eh, at nang pandirian na ako ng fiancé ko."
I mean it.
"Sa ganda mong 'yan? Hahaha! Tara na nga, ang dami mo pang arte eh."
I followed kasi alam ko namang tama rin siya. At ayoko namang mapag-iwanan.
So we went to the mall for shopping.
Habang naglalakad kami patungong Department store, something caught my attention.
'FIRST DANCE'
"Anong problema?" tanong ni Jason nang makita niya akong nakatingin dito.
"Wala, may naalala lang ako," I said.
"Yung high school life mo?"
"Oo."
"Yung kasama mo pa siya."
Oo. Nung masaya pa ako.
"Ano ka ba, past is past. Wala na yun."
"Okay, sinabi mo eh."
"I want to try it."
"Gora!" he said as he waved his hand, shooing me away.
I pulled him and told my other friends na susunod nalang kami.
"Anong ginagawa mo?" tanong nito.
"Gaga, sino sa tingin mo yung makakasayaw ko?" I answered.
"Aba'y malay ko?! Hindi mo ba narinig? Stranger nga di ba? Yun yung sabi nung staff oh!" sabi nito habang nagpupumiglas.
Binitawan ko siya.
"Please? Just this once," I pleaded.
"Haist. Sigi na nga," he surrendered. "Kung di lang kita love eh."
I hugged him.
"Oh, sigi na, dun ka na sa kabila,"I told him. "Para sa mga babae ito eh, baka nandun yung sa lalaki."
"Okay." he said as he went to the other side.
Lumapit na ako sa staff nito.
"Kuya, I want to participate," sabi ko.
"Sigi po ma'am, just write your name here and upo ka lang po dito. Susunod ka na po kay ate," sabi nito.
I nodded at isinulat ko yung pangalan ko. Tumingin ako doon sa sinasabi niyang ate. May nauna na pala sakin.
Matapos kong isulat ang pangalan ko ay ibinigay ko na yung listahan sa staff.
"Salamat po, at maghintay lang po kayo sandali dito ma'am."
And so, I waited.
Nakita kong pumasok na yung babae. Narinig ko na rin yung tugtog.
I became excited. At the same time, nostalgic.
I remembered the time nung napagtripan kami ng mga tropa niya. Nakapiring pa kami noon habang sumasayaw.
Haist.
How I wish I could turn back time.
I wish I could go back to dancing with him. Yung feeling na yun. Yung pakiramdam na parang kayong dalawa lang yung nagmamatter sa mundo. Wala ka nang pakialam sa iba. Just me and him. Swaying with the music.
I missed him.
I slapped myself. Baka kasi umiyak na naman ako.
'Huwag naman dito sa public, self.'
I was in my deep thoughts when the staff called me.
"Ma'am, kayo na po ang susunod,"
Ngayon ko lang namalayan, huminto na yung tugtog at lumalabas na si ate.
I proceeded near the entrance.
"Ma'am, eto po yung mask. Tapos bawal po magsalita ha? Sayaw lang po," sabi nung staff.
I nodded.
"Ano po ba yung kantang gusto niyo pong ipatugtog?" he asked.
"Wait, I get to pick the song?" I asked.
"Opo ma'am, para maiba naman. Palagi nalang kaming mga lalaki yung bida eh." he answered, jokingly.
"Ah okay. Let me think first."
I stormed my mind for some romantic songs. And I got one. Our favorite.
"Pusong Ligaw, by Jericho Rosales, please."
"Gotcha, ma'am! Pasok na po kayo."
I put my mask on and went inside.
Romantic nga yung theme nila. Sabagay, Valentines eh.
The room was dim. Yung nagsisilbi lang ilaw ay nanggagaling sa disco lights na kulay pula. Tapos merong mga roses sa baba. Sosyal ah!
Nakita ko na yung kaibigan ko na papalapit.
Wait. Parang kakaiba yung tindig at hugis ng katawan niya ah. Ba't hindi siya kumekembot?
Naku, baklang twooh! This isn't Jason!
I turned my head around para magreklamo sana, pero I saw that the door was already closed.
'Bahala na nga.'
I badly want to end this fast.
So I proceeded to the middle and placed my hands on his neck. Then he put his on my waist.
Hmmm. At least he's gentle.
Naamoy ko siya. And he smells familiar.
Nagsimula na ang tugtog.
He guided me as we swayed back and forth with the music. His breath, so warm. He's very gentle throughout.
We danced as if we've been doing this since we were kids.
I didn't know but I let myself gave in. I felt like it's just me and him in this world. Like no one else existed.
And the funny thing? I was happy. Yeah. I was happy dancing with this stranger whose name I don't even know.
My heart was beating fast. I don't want this to stop.
I felt so vulnerable again. Like all those barriers that I built, shattered by this moment.
However, I let myself be intoxicated by the feeling.
'Sulitin mo na yan, Jessa. Ilang minuto lang yan.'
Then he leaned closer to my ear and spoke.
"I felt like I know you," he whispered. "Can you tell me who you are?"
That voice. I couldn't possibly forget that. I'm sure. It's Nick.
But why? Why him?
Is this my blessing for all that I sacrificed? Or my punishment for being a coward?
I cursed inwardly.
'Is that you, Nicko?' I wanted to ask. But I remembered what I did that night. He might be angry with me.
So I tried to compose myself.
"I don't think we're supposed to do that," I replied cooly.
"Well, you replied so we're both breaking the rules now," he snickered.
He's still willing to break the rules for me.
Damn you, Nicko!
I bit back a sob. I fought the urge to hug him.
To cry.
To tell him everything.
"And this will be the last time, so shut it!" I slight raised my voice to hide my emotions. "You're not even supposed to be my partner."
I felt his body tensed. But I'm glad he stopped asking.
Please, just let me enjoy this.
Don't let this end.
But of course, it won't last.
🎶... mula noon, bukas, at kailanman. 🎶
We parted and I ran to the exit.
Oo, Nicko. Ikaw pa rin. Ikaw na ikaw pa rin. Ang hanap ng aking pusong ligaw.
I cried.
I ran up to the exit. I called a taxi and went home. Mabuti na lang at wala pa si Papa.
So I went to my room and wept.
At noong medyo nakahinga na ako, I took my phone and saw missed calls mula kay Jason. At sakto, tumawag siya ulit. Kaya sinagot ko na.
"Uy, bess. Asan ka na?" tanong niya. "Kanina pa kita hinahanap. Sani nung staff tumakbo ka daw. Tapos may nakakita rin sayo na umiiyak. Ano bang nagyari?"
"Andito na ako sa amin. Answer me first," sagot ko. "Bakit hindi ikaw yung naging partner ko? Saan ka ba nagpunta?"
"Pumunta ako sa kabila gaya ng sabi mo. Nagregister tapos naghintay ako dun. Eh wala namang ibang lalaki, kaya ako agad yung pinapasok. Nagtataka nga ako kasi ibang babae yung nakasayaw ko," paliwanag niya. "Pagkatapos naming sumayaw eh pinuntahan agad kita. Kaso wala ka naman doon, akala ko bumalik ka na sa mga friends natin at nagshopping. Ayun pala eh nasa loob ka na. Kasama yung lalaking kasunod sakin."
"Ah kaya pala. Yung ateng nauna sakin yung nakasayaw mo. Tapos yung sakin naman ay yung kasunod mo."
"So, sinagot na kita. Ako naman yung sagutin mo. Ano ba talagang nangyari?"
"It was him."
"Who?"
"Nick. Nick Campbell. Siya yung nakasayaw ko."
"Oh, my. Talagang pinaglalapit na kayo ng tadhana, bess! Bakit hindi po pa kasi sabihin yung totoo?"
"Then what? Idamay siya sa gulong ito? No way!"
"Okay, kalma lang. Pero bess, paano kung willing siya?"
"Of course, willing siya!" I snarled. "Kilaka ko yun, he'll do everything for me."
"Ayun pala eh, sabihin mo na sa kanya kasi!"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Kasi natatakot ako."
He was silent for a moment. Akala ko binaba na niya. Ibaba ko na sana nang biglang...
"Ehdi ako yung magsasabi sa kanya. Pasensya na bess pero I think siya lang talaga yung makakatulong sayo. Siya lang talaga makakapag-palaya sayo. Hate me all you want bess, pero gagawin ko to. Andito pa rin naman ako sa mall eh, and I think I saw him went to Tom's World. Bye!"
"Wait! Don—"
Ibinaba na niya.
I became nervous.
I don't know what to do. What should I expect? Anong gagawin ko?
A few moments later, I received a text from an unknown number.
"Babe. Punta ka sa park, usap tayo. I love you. And I know you love me too. Sinabi na ni Jason sakin ang lahat. -Nick"
He knows. And I know for one thing...
He'll do everything to get me back.
Deep inside, I was happy.
"Thank you, Jason. For doing what I can't bring myself to do." I muttered and smile.
Nagbihis na ako at umalis.
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