For that one guest who left a review - I'm afraid I can't tell you anything just yet. You'll have to wait... Let's say that some things will eventually become clear soon.
"Brain activity is gradually increasing and vitals are still rising steadily. Temperature is staying steady; we aren't encountering any issues," the nurse says, reading the machines surrounding the boy on the hospital bed.
The room remains silent until the nurse speaks up again, "Vitals have reached the optimal level and appear to be steadying. Brain activity has almost reached the level for wakefulness. In three minutes we should have an awake patient!"
"Good job everyone," the doctor says. "Now, we have other patients to care for. Kane-san, you're on standby for future problems. I'll complete a check up on the patient when he returns to consciousness, as well as explain the current situation. Saito-san, go tell Hokage-sama that he should expect our second Uchiha to be awake and talking by the end of today."
Excluding the doctor and the patient, the room's occupants leave, each to their respective tasks. The doctor sits down on one of the plastic chairs that the room provides, and waits as the Uchiha massacre survivor starts to wake.
The boy's heartbeat and breathing increase as he wakes, eyes flickering beneath eyelids, and limbs starting to move. Toru's eyes slam open, before he screws them shut upon seeing the bright light above him. He squints, trying to figure out where he is.
"Uchiha-san, you are Konoha hospital. Don't try to move fully or speak, if you can hear me make a fist with your hand," the doctor pronounces clearly.
Toru clenches his hands shut, feeling a dull ache in his chest. He wonders what had happened to land him in hospital. "That's good news Uchiha-san. Can you open your eyes?" The Uchiha opens his eyes fully, his pupils changing size to adapt to the amount of light. "Can you see?"
Toru croaks something out in an attempt to answer, and the doctor clicks his tongue. "Avoid speaking for now Uchiha-san. I imagine your throat is dry and sore. We've had you in a coma while your condition stabilised. Do you want to hear the prognosis? Just clench your right fist for no, both fists for yes."
Toru clenches both fists and watches the doctor as best he can without moving. The doctor picks up his clipboard. "Your condition is due to the fact you were stabbed with a sword." Toru's breathing and heart rate picks up as he starts recalling what happened to land him in hospital.
"Uchiha-san, you are perfectly safe! You need to calm down; you can't risk such an increased heart rate!" The doctor calls out and Toru gasps for breath. "Uchiha-san you'll go into shock if you don't calm down."
The doctor clicks the help button next to Toru's bed, "I need a sedative for a patient with an injured heart, STAT. He's going into shock and risking further injury."
The second time Toru wakes up, he is more aware of what had happened to him. He stays motionless with closed eyes and comes to terms with what had happened. He had been attacked in the clan compound by a shinobi with the sharingan. A clan member of some kind had clearly gone on a rampage and Toru had been in the wrong spot at the wrong time. However, the Uchiha clan is strong and Toru is sure that someone would've brought the rioting ninja down.
Toru opens his eyes and quickly spots the doctor from earlier. "Uchiha-san, you are awake. This is good news. Do you remember what happened last time?"
Toru clenches both fists, "I'm glad to hear that. We want to avoid anything similar from occurring, as we don't want your condition from deteriorating. Do you remember what happened?"
Toru clenches both fists once again, "Very well. I'm glad to see you are calmer. Before I tell you about your condition, I want you to check your range of movement. Please move your left arm, then your right arm, then your left leg, and then your right leg."
Toru nods and did as asked. The doctor hums and ticks something off on his clipboard. "Your range of movement seems fine, I'm going to move your bed so you're in sitting position and then we'll see about getting you a drink, okay?"
Toru nods and the bed slowly moves upright so that Toru is in a sitting position. The doctor hands him a glass of water, "Take only small sips for now. Don't rush either."
Toru slowly drinks the glass of water, getting used to the lingering pain in his torso and stiffness in his muscles. He puts the glass down on the table next to him and turns his attention to the doctor who smiles.
"Your condition was due to being attack with a sword. It was meant to be a straight thrust to your heart. Fortunately, from what we can gather, you were wary and had strengthened the chakra pathways around your main organs; you had also managed to sidestep out of the blow a tiny bit. Your movement caused the tip of the sword to pierce the left ventricle of your heart, which has a stronger wall compared to the right ventricle, which meant that your heart itself wasn't pierced fully. Your chakra also helped, as it created resistance.
"Normally, a person would go into shock, but with your training so far you are slightly better prepared to deal with shock directly after an injury. Instead of panicking and increasing your heart rate and breathing – which would've caused you to bleed out faster as well as further tearing the injury that the sword had made – you were able to paint a status seal on your torso next to the injury. Were you aware that you did this?"
Toru nods, recalling a vague, blurry memory of sketching something on his skin before passing out. He can't remember what he did, but something had encouraged him to do it.
"A status seal is generally used by medics to slow down a patient's bodily functions, allowing the medic more time to heal the person. It was good that you used it; otherwise, you would've bled out by the time you were found. You were rushed to hospital where a team of our staff, headed by myself, rushed you into surgery in order to heal your heart, other injured organs, and injured muscle tissue. We also had to transplant blood due to the amount you had lost. As I mentioned earlier, we put you into a coma afterwards. It's been a week since then."
Toru nods slowly, thinking over the information he has been given, and seeing if there is anything he doesn't comprehend. "I think I understand everything," Toru says softly. "What happened to the Uchiha who attacked me?"
A frown forms on the doctor's face, and Toru feels his heart quicken in worry. He takes a few deep breathes and calms himself. "What happened?" He reiterates.
"The attack on your person was not random or the only one. The rogue shinobi was Itachi Uchiha who attacked you and attempted to murder the rest of your clan," the doctor responds.
Toru freezes, it feels like everything has suddenly stopped – he wonders if it is bad for his heart to stop – and the world he has composed around himself collapses inwards. "D- Did anyone survive?"
"Yes, Sasuke Uchiha."
Toru rubs his eyes, feeling tears starting to form. He doesn't even think about Sasuke, who has always looked up to his elder brother – his elder brother who had massacred most of the Uchiha clan.
"I'll let you have some time to yourself," the doctor says, departing, "and I'm sorry for your loss."
Toru lets out a laugh crossed with a cry after the doctor's gone, his loss; that was one way of putting it. He can't quite believe it, Itachi who always seemed so calm, so far above all the others. He had been a prodigy; Toru knows that. Is it so unbelievable that he had snapped and killed his own clan?
He has never actually spoken or interacted with Itachi, only watching the older boy from a distance. Nonetheless, Shisui had always spoken about Itachi fondly. Toru doesn't quite get people, but Shisui seemed to understand them, and trust them. It is hard for Toru to realise that Shisui is wrong.
Shisui is dead. Toru has forgotten that. Shisui had committed suicide, something Toru could never imagine the elder Uchiha doing. Shisui was also Itachi's friend; they were extremely close… Had Shisui known something? Had Itachi killed Shisui to protect his own secrets? Or is Toru missing something?
Toru straightens the bed, so he is in a sleeping position once again, and closes his eyes. He doesn't sleep. He is far too awake and emotionally distraught to do that. Instead, he simply mourns. There was no love lost between him and his clan, but they were all the family he had known.
Toru is in the midst of completing a puzzle book, which Daisuke – Toru's doctor – had kindly provided, when someone knocks on his door. He looks up, confused, as no one besides his doctor has spoken to him – not that there's anyone left to come visit him. "Come in," he calls out, overly glad that his voice is sounding better than it did the other day.
Toru's doctor – Daisuke – is pleased with the rate Toru is healing. Apparently, Toru's body has undergone a lot of stress due to the forced chakra healing and being in a coma. Toru has lost physical conditioning and his muscles are stiff due to not moving for a while.
Toru's torso is still healing, with the skin still recovering along with his muscles. He's still on painkillers and antibiotics, and Daisuke told Toru that he may be able to leave the hospital before the week is up. However, he would have to come back for physical therapy and take it easy.
The Hokage enters the room, and Toru places the puzzle book on the table next to him. "Good morning, Hokage-sama," Toru greets, voice soft as he greets his leader.
"Toru-kun, it is good to see you are awake once again," the old man replies, a kind expression on his face. "You had us all worried."
Toru wonders whom the Sandaime meant by all, he has no family left. He wonders what the Sandaime expects him to say in response, Toru almost wishes he were dead so he didn't have to live with the knowledge he survived when most of his clan did not.
"I think if I were someone else, I'd be worried too," Toru eventually says.
The Hokage smiles before losing it, Toru stills in response. "I understand you woke up recently, do you know what happened?"
Toru blinks slowly and draws in a steadying breath, dealing with his grief the best he can before replying. "Itachi Uchiha massacred the Uchiha clan leaving Sasuke Uchiha behind along with myself," he says, and despite his best efforts, his voice quavers and stutters and he shouldn't show weakness; he's a shinobi.
The Hokage adopts a sorrowful expression and Toru hates because he doesn't want pity. "I'm sorry for your loss, Toru-kun. No one ever expected Itachi to attack the Uchiha to test his strength."
Toru keeps his expression steady, but mentally wonders if Itachi really did massacre the clan. Toru knew of Itachi's actions, so why did the Hokage feel the need to reinforce that fact? Especially by mentioning Itachi by name, if Toru was more of a hateful and angry person, he would want to kill Itachi, and mentioning the Uchiha's name would only strengthen that anger and hatred.
"It certainly was unexpected," Toru murmurs, looking down at the hospital blanket. He crinkles and smooths it, feeling the need to do something with his hands.
"I understand you have been through a traumatic situation, but I do need to speak to you about what will be happening from now on," the Hokage says and Toru nods, still not looking up at the older man.
"I think it would be best if you didn't live in the compound for now," the Sandaime says, and Toru nods once again, knowing that it is a good idea. "I also want you to be under the watch of an ANBU, just until we know that Itachi isn't going to come back and attack."
Toru tucks his annoyance behind his teeth, and acknowledges that it is a good idea. Although, if Itachi wants to test his strength, why would he attack an academy student?
"You are registered at the academy correct?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Toru says, wondering what the Sandaime is going to talk about next.
"Do you still wish to be a ninja? I understand that this experience may have ruined your dream, and I am sure there are many other things to do, if you wish to no longer follow the path of a ninja."
Toru shakes his head furiously. He wants to be a ninja, and he doubts anything will change that. It's all he knows how to do (it's all he has ever done; it's also why he died). "I want to be a shinobi," Toru says, lifting his head to meet the Hokage's eyes.
The Hokage stays silent, watching Toru, seeming to search him for something. "I'm sure we can make that happen," the Sandaime says, offering Toru a smile. Toru, though, notices the inclusive language and wonders if the Sandaime is trying to place emphasis the idea of Toru being a Konoha ninja only. "I understand that with your condition you aren't allowed to do much physical work?"
Toru's face screws up into an annoyed expression and the Sandaime hides a laugh. "For a few weeks, at least," he says. "I'm going to lose all my physical conditioning and have to work from scratch. I'm not even allowed to throw anything," he complains.
"I'm sure you can improve in other areas," the Hokage says.
"That's what Daisuke-san, my doctor, said," Toru responds. "Apparently, I should use the time to work on my chakra control."
"That's a very good idea," the Hokage replies before his expression goes sorrowful again. "Regarding the situation with Sasuke-kun, he hasn't been told that there's another survivor."
Toru wonders if everyone's stupid, because that sounds like a dumb idea, before he remembers that it was very possible that he might've died. "I take it you didn't tell him because if I died it would've done bad things to him psychologically?"
The Hokage nods and mentally reappraises the young Uchiha in front of him, who seems intent on defying his expectations. He has come to the hospital expecting to see another depressed, forlorn, angry boy. Instead, he is met with a shinobi-in-training who is doing his best to deal with his grief. The boy doesn't seem angry or spiteful towards Itachi, and he thinks that the academy teachers are right about Toru being almost ready to graduate.
"I believe it would be best if you two met soon. You'll be living together at my estate until you have the funds to buy an apartment. Is that alright with you?"
Toru nods and gives the Hokage a soft grin. "Thank you Hokage-sama. When will I be able to meet Sasuke?"
The Hokage taps his fingers on the bedrail, "I think later today would be alright, don't you think? After all, you will be out in another day or two."
Toru blinks, caught between surprise and happiness. "Okay," he says softly, dropping his gaze to the blankets once more.
"I will see you later Toru-kun, look after yourself."
"Bye Hokage-sama," Toru replies, picking up the puzzle book once more. He doubts it'll entertain him, though, excited and worried as he is.
"This is Uchiha-san's room," the nurse says. "If anything happens, there will be someone within yelling distance and the help desk is always manned." The nurse offers Toru a bright smile and strides off.
Toru looks at the closed door and wonders what would happen if he ran off. He probably wouldn't get very far because of his injury, but entertaining the idea made him find some humour in the situation.
He opens the door; he doesn't bother knocking, the person inside should know he's coming. The room is surprisingly dark, with the curtains pulled shut and only the bedside lamp on. Toru flicks on the light switch, so he doesn't have to wait for his eyes to adjust.
Sitting up on the bed, with a scowl fixed in place, is a young boy. He's pale and he has dark bags under his eyes. He's too skinny as well, and his eyes are haunted with grief and rage and hatred.
Toru licks his lips and wonders how social interactions are meant to go for a second time for the day. He thinks up something good to say and speaks, "Have you slept recently?" His mouth says instead.
The boy doesn't seem to have any energy, and Toru wonders if he's using it all just to make ensure he doesn't sway on the spot and keel over. "You need sleep," Toru says.
"You're an Uchiha," the kid responds.
Toru nods before pausing, "Actually, I'm technically half-Uchiha, but for all that it matters, I'm part of the Uchiha clan."
"I was told he killed them all," the kid practically whispers. Toru looks into almost-dead eyes and feels any worry for himself melt out of him. He's dealing a lot better than this eight-year-old is (and maybe because he's dealt with death a great deal already). An eight-year-old who had his parents killed in front of him by his brother, went under emotional and mental torture by said brother, and thought his whole clan had been killed.
No wonder Toru's dealing a lot better. "They didn't want to give you false hope," Toru replies as he walks over to the kid's bed. "I was in pretty bad condition for quite a while; they didn't know if I would live. I'm still in bad condition, and I'm banned from doing any physical work for ages. But, I'm stable and going to live, so they could tell you.
"I don't know what you've been told, but I haven't graduated from the academy or anything. They're sticking us together with Hokage-sama for now, until we have enough money to buy ourselves an apartment, because we are not going to live in the compound," Toru pauses awkwardly. "Well, that's if you want to stick with me. I'm not very good at dealing with people, and maybe it's best if you don't stick with me; I might just remind you of what happened."
Toru turns to go, deciding that this was a bad idea and he is probably going to traumatise the kid further. However, a strong grip wraps around his wrist. "Don't go," Sasuke says softly, and Toru turns to meet his gaze.
Toru sighs and nods, "Alright, but I'm not sitting on one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs. You're moving over and we're going to go to sleep. You look exhausted and I feel exhausted."
Sasuke nods and all but collapses back into the bed, he scrunches over and Toru gets in the bed slowly. "Whatever you do kid, don't go thrashing while you're asleep. I don't particularly feel like getting elbowed where I'm injured."
"'M not a kid, 'm Sasuke," the younger Uchiha whispers, eyes drooping as he starts succumbing to sleep.
"You're a kid to me," Toru replies quietly, before he falls asleep.
The building in front of him is pale blue, cream, and dark red. Overhead, the sky is overcast, hinting at rain to come. The wind tugs on the branches of the two beach trees nearby. He stands, looking at this building and knowing in his heart that his life is about to change.
His best friend stands beside him. She pulls on his hand, tossing a glance over her shoulder to look at him. "Are you coming or are you going to admire the view?"
He laughs and pushes his legs into a run, easily keeping up with Ayumu. The pair enters the academy laughing and joking. All around them, there are other children smiling and grinning and talking loudly. Ayumu and he can name most of them already; most of the children here grow up together.
Ayumu leans over to whisper to him, "I'm going to be the top ninja in our class."
He grins, "I won't be surprised if that happens."
Ayumu pouts, "You are meant to doubt me so I can beat you up afterwards!"
He rolls his eyes, "I'm sure you'll be able to beat me up later anyway. What do you think you'll focus on?"
"Probably taijutsu and genjutsu, combining those two would be quite helpful, I'm sure!" Ayumu responds happily.
"Especially if you use touch-based genjutsu, if you make their perception of time slightly quicker, or make it so you look a centimetre to the left… Well, you could make quick work of them if you have devastating taijutsu as well," he responds thoughtfully. "I want to focus on sealing, specifically the kind that might be helpful for fighting without killing."
"You're too soft," Ayumu says, shoving him lightly. "You won't make it anywhere in life with that kind of attitude."
He turns to face his best friend, who knows him almost as well as he knows himself. "Mercy should always be offered first," he tells her. "But I will kill in defence of my village, I will always."
Toru wakes slowly, and he feels rested for the first time since he came out of the coma. There's a warm body next to him, and he has an arm wrapped around a small body and pulling it close to his torso.
He's sore, but in the same way, a muscle is sore after you've used it too much the day before. He yawns, and debates whether he should get up. He shifts and Sasuke grumbles in response and Toru is glad he doesn't feel alone. He's felt like that too much recently, too much in his life in general.
"Sasuke?" Toru asks softly, and gets another grumble in return. Toru hides a grin by tucking his head into Sasuke's hair. "I think we should get up sometime soon," he mumbles.
"You're not a dream?" Sasuke says, suddenly alert and twisting around to see Toru.
Toru offers Sasuke a smile, "No, I'm as real as can be."
A loud rumble goes through the room, "I'm hungry," Sasuke says and Toru smothers a laugh.
"Well, I suppose we should go find some food, then," Toru comments. He slowly gets up, and looks over to the bedside table where there's a glass of water and a few pills. He quickly takes them all, before leaving the room with Sasuke in tow.
They're walking down the hallway when Sasuke quickens his pace and slips his smaller hand into Toru's larger one. Toru doesn't do anything but tighten his grip, seeking comfort from each other.
"Uchiha-san!" Someone calls, and both Uchiha turn around to look at who called them. Daisuke gives them both a wide grin, "I meant Toru-san," he amends. "Did you receive the painkillers and antibiotics?"
Toru nodded, "I did, thank you Daisuke-san."
"I've got your discharge papers ready, as you are probably ready to get out of the hospital by now." Daisuke crouches down so he can make eye contact with Sasuke. "I've got a job for you; do you think you can do it?" Sasuke gives a stiff yet shy nod. "I want you to look out for Toru-san, make sure he doesn't do any running or physical activity. He needs to have one antibiotic pill with each meal. He can have up to six painkillers in twenty-four hours, but should have at least three a day. Think you can handle that?"
Sasuke puffs up his chest and nods, while Toru gives Daisuke a light scowl. "I can look after myself, you know."
"If someone isn't watching, you would start working on your physical condition," Daisuke points out.
Toru pouts, "Can we both get released today?"
"As far as I know, you – Toru-san – can be released as soon as your discharge papers are signed. Sasuke-san's papers were signed a day ago, but the hospital staff was willing to accommodate him until Toru-san was out."
Toru frowns, "Who signs our discharge papers?"
"Your guardian," Daisuke replies. "Currently, you're a ward of Konoha, and Hokage-sama himself will sign the papers. He should be coming by soon to take you to where you're going to live."
Toru turns to look at Sasuke, "We're living at the Hokage estate for now, is that alright with you?" Toru had asked the same question the previous night, but he wasn't sure if Sasuke remembered what they had spoken about. The kid had been exhausted, after all.
Sasuke tightens his grip on Toru's hands, "I'm alright with that."
"I don't want to be seeing you back in hospital any time soon, you hear me Toru-san?" Daisuke says, fixing Toru with a stern expression.
Toru nods meekly, "Yes sir!"
"Keep each other out of trouble," Daisuke says before turning on his heel and striding off.
"Your doctor's slightly scary," Sasuke whispers to Toru.
Toru laughs, "It's his way of showing he cares. He saved my life; he doesn't want all that hard work to be a waste."
"I'm glad you're alive," Sasuke says solemnly.
Toru squeezes Sasuke's hand, "I'm not going anywhere," Toru vows. "And for the record, I'm glad you're alive too."
Sasuke feels something ease within him. There's been a ball of rage and hate and fire scrunched up tightly in his chest, and to see another Uchiha who's willing to smile and hold his hand… it's nice. Maybe Sasuke isn't all right, but he thinks he can live like this.
Sasuke spent a week without a clan, with the knowledge of what he did, and the memories of his clan's own demise in his head. He hates Itachi, he hates and rages, and he doesn't know what to do. He couldn't sleep and he didn't want to eat; he wanted death, but he hadn't recognised the wish consciously.
The fact that there's another Uchiha aside from Itachi alive… It means Itachi failed and that Sasuke isn't alone. Perhaps if Toru had died, Sasuke would've given into the angerhaterage in his chest. But Toru isn't dead, and he promises he isn't going anywhere.
Toru is quite different from most Uchiha that Sasuke knows knew. Sasuke is glad about that; he doesn't think he could deal with an Uchiha that acted like his parents or like his brother. Sasuke doesn't want another brother or another set of parents.
Toru is Toru, though, and that's different. He gives smiles so easily but he seeks comfort from Sasuke as well. Sasuke isn't blind enough not to see it. They're good for each other. They're injured and tired and not alone.
Sasuke tightens his hand around Toru's, and the older boy returns the tight grip. Sasuke pulls lightly on Toru's hand, causing the elder Uchiha to stop. Toru crouches down and Sasuke realises that his hair's a red-brown colour that Sasuke's never seen any Uchiha have before.
Black eyes meet black eyes and Sasuke decides that he's glad Toru doesn't look like the average Uchiha. Sasuke doesn't know what he was going to say, so he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind. "How do you smile?"
Toru's facial expression flattens and he seems to look through Sasuke rather than at him. There's a moment of silence before Toru refocuses, and Sasuke can almost feel the weight of his gaze. "I wasn't really aware of what was happening," Toru starts, slowly, as if carefully thinking each word over before speaking. "I saw a shinobi and then I was injured, left for dead. I'm… I was never really close to many Uchiha. My father was from out of the clan and my mother regularly left on long missions."
Toru closes his eyes for a moment, steadying himself for what he is about to say. "My favourite person in the world was my cousin, and he died a few days before the massacre took place. I was already in mourning when I woke up. I'm still grieving; I'm still sad, and I will still cry over what happened."
Toru chews on his lip, trying to figure out words for what he feels. "I can't change the fact that they're dead," he states, and he almost cringes with how callous the words sound. "I would do something if I could, but I know I can't." Toru can see the way Sasuke is appearing to pull away and he knows what he says has to be said. He knows he can't make the dead live again, (he couldn't before, and he can't now).
"Death and life are part of this world Sasuke; it always has been and it always will be. There's death and there's life. We can grieve for the dead and honour them too, but we have to remember that they are dead. We can't let ourselves wither away for those who no longer remain with us physically. We can live for them, though. We can honour them through our actions, through how we live."
Sasuke remains silent, and he thinks that Toru's eyes have hidden depths. They're walled, thin buffers to someone who looks, and Sasuke can see. He sees the grief that's deep within Toru; the sorrow that Sasuke thinks he would drown in if he tried to understand it. Nonetheless, there's something else too, a spark, an ember, something that keeps burning and pushing Toru forward.
Sasuke gives a small nod, "They would want us to live, wouldn't they?"
Toru offers Sasuke a small smile, proud of the kid (and that's what he is after all, it's what they both are). "C'mon kid, let's go find ourselves some food."
Three days later, Toru is walking Sasuke to the Ninja Academy. "Are you worried?" Sasuke asks, looking up at Toru. Toru blinks in surprise, slightly stunned by his perception.
"A bit," Toru says.
"I'm not," Sasuke responds, and Toru rolls his eyes and ruffles the younger Uchiha's hair.
"Good for you kid," Toru replies with a smirk as Sasuke scrambles to neaten his hair.
They pause at the front of the school building, "Don't get yourself hurt," Sasuke tells Toru sternly.
"You're too young to be telling me that kid."
"Don't call me kid!" Sasuke replies, striding off into the building. A second later, he runs back out. He almost slams into Toru, managing to slow down a split second beforehand, and then he's hugging Toru.
Toru carefully wraps his arms around Sasuke, unsure if the contact's warranted. Sasuke relaxes somewhat, and Toru hadn't even realised how tense the kid was. He hugs Sasuke before taking a step back.
"Better get going, kid," he says with a smile, "We're going to be late."
Toru doesn't anger easily, but there's a ball of rage settling in his stomach as he's treated with pity and as a fragile person. He isn't fragile, and if anything, the massacre should've proven that.
Toru wonders how Sasuke is, he imagines that the eight-year-olds don't understand the demise of the Uchiha; they probably know nothing of death. Toru hates and loves them for it. Here, though, surrounded by his classmates, Toru just feels annoyed and frustrated.
The civilian-born students treat him with a reverence that confuses him. The clan-born students treat him with suspicion and sorrow. The adults treat him with a mix of worry, pity, and sadness.
To make things worse, Toru can't do anything physical to get rid of his anger. Instead, he's been told he can spend his time in the library researching, as he isn't even allowed to do the taijutsu katas or any weapon throwing.
It's frustrating, Toru decides, being unable to do anything. He knows he's smart, but he's still so inferior to Itachi who is only a year older than he is. His fitness will go down, but there's nothing he can do about it. He'll have to work on getting stronger some other way. If he's taking Sasuke under his wing, he needs to be able to protect the kid as well as himself.
Toru sits down in a corner within the academy library, hidden from view. He closes his eyes and focuses, meditating. If he's going to get stronger, he's going to need his chakra and for that, he'll need control over it.
Toru unlocked his chakra a few years ago, and for all that it's closer to the surface, he can't quite grab it. And so, Toru meditates, feeling his chakra move around his body. It moves with his thoughts, Toru notices, certain flickers of emotion make it react a certain way.
Toru places his hands in the ram hand seal, and immediately his chakra pattern changes. Toru nudges the chakra to go back to normal, not quite forcing it but not leaving it alone either. The chakra slowly falls back to its original pattern. Toru places his hands in the tiger position, and his chakra changes once again. Toru lets his almost-grasp on the chakra fade, and it goes back to normal once again.
Toru wonders if he can get his chakra to mimic what it does for the ram hand seal without actually putting his hands in the ram position. It's something to look into later, when he can control his chakra better.
Toru reaches for his chakra coils, where the majority of his chakra is when it isn't going through his chakra pathways. He vaguely notices that it's warm and beating in time with his heart. However, Toru realises there's something else there, not quite part of his main chakra pool but slightly to the left.
He reaches out for it cautiously, but pauses when he gets closer. It feels like there's something… dark there. However, it's part of him and he needs to be familiar with it in case he has to use it. He touches it.
It explodes around him – similar to how it was when he unlocked his chakra. It colours his vision in light and fills the darkness. Toru feels as if there's a knot still in the middle, so he reaches deeper.
It rushes around him, increasing its speed and it's almost screaming. And Toru realises it's a mistake; this chakra is dark. There's rageangerHATE, fury waiting to be tested and called upon. It's dark and angry and with hate lying in wait. It scares him slightly, because it's him but it isn't at the same time.
Toru almost wants to back out, let go of it and never reach for the chakra again. Nonetheless, he waits for it to settle, which it does. It stops feeling so dark after a bit, and Toru relaxes slightly.
There's still a hint of rageangerhatepainsorrowgrief, it's like an underlying current, there but not standing out. Instead, there's a feeling of familiarity, of home, of love, of laughter, of joy, and of safety. There's the urge to protect entwined with the desire to survive and hope for the future.
Something in Toru rises and it clings to his heart and his mind, too big and too great for him to truly understand but there nevertheless. It's something that he doesn't comprehend and can't name but is overwhelmingly familiar.
Within Toru, there's something very much old, ancient in all meanings of the word. It rises and swirls within him, overpowering, and encompassing. It's a primordial trembling in his bones and a god-like pull on his heart.
Toru suddenly longs for something he doesn't know. A place unknown to him but home anyway. He aches for bright laughter and salt carried on the wind. He wants to hear the crash of waves on the shore, the feeling of sand beneath his feet. He wants to lead his squad out on patrol, making sure his village is safe.
Except… that's not quite right. Toru's an academy student (not an early graduate who rose to become important). Toru's never seen the sea, let along heard the crash of waves and smelt sea salt. Although, Toru feels he has done all this and he can tell that there are memories waiting just out of reach. It's similar to how sometimes weapons fit in his hand with a grip half-remembered, and what he learns never seems to be new knowledge but old information being recalled.
Toru doesn't quite try to manipulate the chakra just yet, but he does wonder if it means he has two chakras. It's something that gives room for thought. However, there are other things to focus on, such as, looking into the seal he had made when on his deathbed. He hadn't – still doesn't – know the seal, but he had managed to draw it nonetheless.
And so, Toru opens black eyes once more and starts searching the library for books on seals. He honestly doesn't expect to find anything straight away, but as he can't do any physical work, he'll probably end up spending a lot more time in the library.
They settle into a routine, Sasuke and he. Most nights, Toru would wake up with a warm body next to him. It's good for them both, Toru knows. They remind each other that they're alive. Toru has nightmares, sometimes, of sharingan eyes and a blade entering his chest; he can't imagine how Sasuke copes – he saw more than Toru did.
There's a saying about how a burden shared is a burden halved, and Toru doesn't know if he agrees, but it's an apt description of how the two Uchihas cope. The sheer amount of comfort they receive from hearing a heartbeat or breathing might surprise another person, nonetheless it is what it is.
There's a younger child in the house, but Toru hasn't spoken to him outside of meals; he doubts Sasuke has either. However, every morning and evening during breakfast or dinner, the entire Sarutobi family plus the last Uchihas get together.
After breakfast, Toru and Sasuke get ready for the academy, sometimes finding the time to simply walk around Konoha and enjoy living. After the academy, Sasuke would go practise on one of the academy training grounds while Toru would watch and give advice, still unable to do any physical work.
During the twilight hours, when Konoha ninjas were hurrying to return home and rest and civilians were returning from work, Sasuke and Toru walked into a cemetery filled with gravestones for every Uchiha that hadn't been killed in action.
All the graves from the massacre have no bodies. There were too many to bury (too many to mourn, still). Instead, the bodies had been burned and the ashes had been scattered. It's fitting, that a clan that partly specialised in fire ninjutsu would leave only ashes behind. It's still sad, though, because there are three Uchiha left in the world now, and a mass of empty graves.
Sometimes Sasuke leaves, stalking off and Toru finds him in the late hours of the night half-collapsed and working himself past exhaustion. Other times Sasuke will go quiet and won't speak for ages, and there's anger hidden in his eyes. There are a few occasions when Sasuke will turn on Toru and they will rage at each other or cry together.
Maybe they could be coping better, but they're coping. They're alright for now. They didn't even know each other a few weeks ago, and now they're all they have. Maybe Sasuke sometimes withdraws into himself and it is all Toru can do to have him eat and sleep. Maybe Toru sometimes wakes up in pain and feeling blood welling beneath his hands and he's tense and on a hairline trigger. However, they have each other to fall back on and they're managing.
A month after Toru had woken up; he's told that he can now do physical activities. Of course, the news is slightly less exciting when they reveal he has to take it easy and work his way up. Still, it's a reason to celebrate and Toru's glad that he can now participate in the rest of his classes. While researching originally excited him, it grew boring quickly, especially as he rarely found the information he wanted.
"Where are we going?" Sasuke asks, walking beside Toru as the pair walk down a lamp-lit street.
"There's a small restaurant that serves ramen; it normally seems quite busy so I thought we could check it out," he pauses and glances down at the younger Uchiha. "That is, of course, if you're alright with it?"
"I don't mind ramen," Sasuke says, "but omusubi is better."
Toru laughs, now knowing that Sasuke's favourite food was omusubi with okaka and tomatoes. "How about we have some tomorrow? We can go train tomorrow around lunch as well. I need to get back into shape, and I'm certain you can help me."
Sasuke immediately goes quiet and Toru stops suddenly, crouching down to look at Sasuke. He bites his lip, wondering at what he did wrong. "Sasuke?" He calls softly, gaining the boy's attention. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry."
Sasuke doesn't reply, but he does look at Toru's face. Toru stays silent and still, hoping to elicit a response. "I- I always asked… my brother for training, and he always refused," Sasuke said quietly.
Toru wonders how he's meant to reply to that. "Well, if you don't want to or you think it's going to bring back memories, we don't have to."
Sasuke grabs Toru's darker-coloured hand and holds it tightly. "I'm glad you're not like him," he says. "You don't remind me of him."
Toru gives a smile, and maybe it's a bit sad but Sasuke isn't going to call him out on it. "I'm glad to hear that. Shall we go get some food?"
Sasuke nods and Toru stands up, once again they head to the restaurant. When they do get there, it's the quietest that Toru has ever seen it and there's only one kid there. He has bright yellow hair.
Sasuke seems to pause, and Toru looks down at him in confusion. "He's in my class," Sasuke says.
"We can go somewhere else, if you would like?"
"No, it's fine," Sasuke says, "This is for you after all."
Toru grins at Sasuke who seems to blush faintly before looking down at the ground. "Let's go sit down, then," he says, and lets Sasuke take a seat first, before sitting down between him and the unknown academy student. In his peripheral vision, he sees the kid turn and finally gets a look at his face. He instantly stiffens before consciously relaxing. He recognises the child as Naruto Uzumaki, the holder of the Nine-Tails.
Toru can remember the corrosive chakra that had flowed into the village. He had seen the massive red fox on its rampage. He could remember seeing the Yellow Flash taking the beast away, dying for the village, and leaving behind a child with a demon sealed in it.
Toru somehow knows seals, though, or at least he did once upon a time. He isn't quite sure, but there's something in his mind that whispers to him at times. Toru gives the child a glance and then decides that he isn't interesting or something to be feared and hated.
"What are you working on in the academy currently?" Toru asks Sasuke after Teuchi takes their orders.
"They're making us put extra hours into history," Sasuke says, and if he had any less control over his facial features, Toru thinks he would be pouting. He hides a smile.
"History can be important," Toru says aloud and wonders if it'll ever actually be helpful as a shinobi. Sasuke gives him a withering gaze that he probably deserves. "Well, it can be," Toru defends, quickly trying to think of a plausible event.
"For instance, it might help to know the history of a certain town so you can fit in or understand things. Another time history might come in handy is with politics and relations between different villages. Konoha was built first and our Shodaime gave out the tailed-beasts, therefore the other villages are constantly reminded that Konoha had the most strength in the beginning. Without history, you probably wouldn't know about the Shinobi World Wars either, which are extremely significant. Especially if you consider our current relation with Iwagakure, which is due to the last war."
"I never thought about it that way," Sasuke grumbles, and Toru refrains from his response that he hadn't either, instead he shrugs.
"Sometimes you need someone else's view on a subject before things make sense," he comments as Teuchi places down a bowl of ramen in front of each of them.
"Thank you Teuchi-san," Toru says with a pointed look at Sasuke.
"Thanks," Sasuke grumbles.
"Itadakimasu," the pair of them says before eating.
At some point during his meal, Toru hears Naruto thank Teuchi for the meal, and Teuchi offers to make Naruto another bowl, but Naruto doesn't have the money. Toru looks over at the pair and thinks Uzumaki (and he thinks of brightly coloured hair, laughter loud and bright, and a rush of anger that disappears as it comes, and then he thinks of sea salt on the breeze and a village to be protected) looks smaller than he should be for his age. He looks healthy, and maybe Toru shouldn't be judging him. As Naruto gets up and turns, Toru is treated to the view of a red swirl on the back of his jumpsuit, and for a moment, everything is the same, but then it changes.
The village that surrounds him has twisting, rising buildings made from different types of stone. The buildings all have different colours and are somehow always different. They can be one colour or they can be more, but it all comes together in a beautiful blend.
The people, though, that's who the village really is. They're like the ocean and the wind, constantly moving and never stopping but they still laugh and smile and talk. It's like coming home but he's never been here before (right?).
There are seals everywhere, burnt and engraved into the very stone that surrounds him. He can see them – how they interact, and how they work around each other. He can see traces in the air, in the ground, in everything and everywhere he looks.
This is not home (it is the only home he truly knows). It is a lie, a mockery of something that never existed (and it calls to him). He closes his eyes for a second and tugs on his chakra and something whispers to him that this isn't right.
"Teuchi-san," Toru asks, "Can he have another bowl? I have some extra money."
Sasuke looks at him, surprised. Toru offers his cousin a half-shrug, and Naruto beams. "Thanks!" He says as he jumps back into his seat. "I, um, don't have anything to pay you back with."
"It's alright," Toru says, "Like I told Teuchi-san, I have some spare change. You're in Sasuke's class, aren't you?"
Naruto looks at Sasuke and nods, "Yeah, the teme always acts so cool like he's the best. Are you guys siblings or something?"
Toru sees Sasuke clam up, "Or something," he says sharply. "I'm Toru, what's your name?" He asks, hoping to get the younger Uchiha to pay attention to the present.
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'm going to be the Hokage, believe it!" He shouts loudly, before cheering as Teuchi places a bowl in front of him.
Toru hesitates, wondering what he should say. "I take it you do well in the academy, then?"
Naruto scowls, "Nah, I don't need any of that. It's all rubbish, and the teachers don't treat me good an'way," he mumbles.
Toru struggles to understand that Naruto was telling the truth, and he can't quite manage to believe him. The child is around Sasuke's age, and the academy instructors should treat everyone equally… but that doesn't really happen, does it? Toru's being treated differently than his classmates, and he's sure it's the same for Sasuke. They are the last Uchihas, and they're treated as fragile and dangerous at the same time.
"They shouldn't do that," Sasuke says firmly, and it sounds like a promise. "It's not right."
Toru nods, "He's right. If you want, I can speak to your instructors," he says, although he doesn't particularly want to. However, Naruto is a child, even if he does have a demon sealed within him.
Naruto looks up with blue eyes and he looks so surprised and stunned, and Toru mourns because this is another orphan living alone without anyone looking out for him (and… he knows how that feels; he's been there before). "It's alright," Naruto says softly, "I'm just gonna show 'em I'm too awesome for 'em to teach an'way!"
"If you're sure," Toru replies, "but if anyone isn't treating you right or you aren't getting an education, you can tell me. I'll go and talk to someone about it."
"Ahh, it's fine Toru-san! Besides, Iruka-sensei likes me!"
"He's your main teacher, isn't he?" Toru quizzes, looking at both Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke nods and Naruto shouts an answer, Toru grimaces. "Naruto, would you mind keeping your voice a bit softer? You don't need to scream so much; I can hear you."
"Sorry," Naruto hisses in a loud whisper and Toru rolls his eyes but doesn't respond. A moment later, Naruto's somehow managed to rope Sasuke into an eating competition.
It's surprising, and probably the biggest response anyone aside from Toru has gained from the mainly silent Uchiha. Toru exchanges a glance with Teuchi who hides a laugh as he ducks back into the kitchen.
Toru smiles softly to himself as he watches the two boys, and he feels more at peace than he has since the massacre.
Two months after the Uchiha massacre had taken place. The elder Uchiha, eleven years old, graduated from the Ninja Academy in Konoha. He scored on the higher side of average with relatively high theory-based work, weapon throwing skills, and chakra techniques, but low in other places.