Chapter 9: Chapter 5
POV------BLYTHE
For the next two weeks I found a rhythm. Classes, work, study, and occasional visits from Krit. My classes weren't bad, except for the public speaking one. I wasn't ready for that. I was trying to prepare myself for the day I had to actually stand in front of everyone and talk, but so far the professor hadn't called me out.
Work was great. Pastor Keenan had several counseling sessions in the afternoons, and I was left alone to handle the filing, answer the phones, and work on the different things he left on my desk to type up. A few times Linc had dropped by with doughnuts and a friendly smile. He even brought sandwiches one day from a deli in town and convinced me to take my break outside with him. He put me at ease, and for the first time in my life I wasn't constantly worried about what he might think of me. He just seemed accepting of my faults and he was nice.
I finally had a friend.
Then there was Krit. He also seemed to want to be my friend, and I was grateful that he was so nice. He always stopped by to check on me, and more than once he had brought Chinese food with him and said he needed my help eating it. He was curious about school, and he asked a lot of questions. Then he told me funny stories about his friends and things that had happened to them during performances. I always laughed so hard with Krit. But . . . there was a difference. I was always on edge with him. I couldn't stop my head from escaping with images of Krit and playing out scenarios that I shouldn't think about with a friend.
I was attracted to Krit. I had been since the first time I met him, and while he was trying so hard to be a good friend, I was lying in my bed at night bringing myself pleasure with images of Krit in my head. That was the evil in me. It made me feel guilty every time I saw him. Especially on the mornings he stopped by and I was still dealing with the dream I'd had of him the night before.
Not one time had Krit flirted with me or given me any indication he was attracted to me. He was just a nice guy. A really sexy nice guy. I could stare at him for hours and never get bored. On nights that he did have his parties, there was a sick knot in my stomach. I knew he had a girl up there, and he was going to do to her the things I would never experience. Things that scared me, yet fascinated me. Things that I had only ever thought about since meeting Krit.
This infatuation I had with him was only getting worse. When he'd come down to my apartment and asked my opinion on two different shirts, he'd stripped off one to try on the other. I had lost my voice. The sight of his well-defined chest covered in colorful tattoos and the desire to touch them made my face heat up. I had felt flush and slightly off center. When he had left I felt so guilty. He saw me as his friend, not another girl that wanted something from him. Krit didn't make me uncomfortable by gawking at my body, so doing that to him was wrong and unfair. But then I didn't have a body like his. The kind that stops traffic.
This was where my head was when Linc showed up at work with a box of chocolate cupcakes. I pushed thoughts of Krit to the back of my mind and focused on Linc. If I could only look at Krit like I looked at Linc, my life would be so much easier.
"Break time? I have it on good authority from my sister that cupcakes don't get any better than these," he said with a serious expression and a sparkle in his eyes.
I glanced back at his dad's office door. He had just gone in there with a married couple, and if the phone rang and I wasn't there to answer it, then it would interrupt him. "Can we have the break in here so I can get the phone if it rings?" I asked him.
Linc nodded and pulled a chair up to my desk. "No problem," he replied. "Dad has a counseling session?"
"Yeah, and it just started," I explained.
"Then I have an hour of your time to waste." He winked at me and handed me a cupcake.
I was going to gain weight with all the sweets he brought me. But then I decided it didn't matter. I had gone most of my life without sweets, and I really liked them. The buttercream icing melted on my tongue, and I let out a small moan. So good. How I had lived my life without these kind of treats, I didn't know.
I opened my eyes to tell Linc thank you, but the intensity of his gaze stopped me. He wasn't eating his cupcake. His eyes were locked on my lips as he sat frozen. The only movements were the pupils in his eyes as they grew, and the vein pulsing in his neck.
"Blythe," he said in a deep voice that startled me.
"Yes?"
He didn't say anything for a moment. His eyes lifted only briefly to meet mine before they went back to my lips. I lifted my hand to touch my mouth to make sure there was no icing clinging to them that he didn't want to tell me about and risk embarrassing me.
He reached over and pulled my hand away from my mouth gently, then moved in closer. His eyes never leaving my lips. My heart rate picked up and I nervously bit my bottom lip wondering if I should move or say something.
"I'm going to kiss you," he told me, and before I could let what he said register, his mouth was on mine.
It was my first kiss. His lips were warm and tasted like the mint of his chewing gum. I wasn't sure what I should do. I was curious about kissing, and I liked Linc—he was nice—but he was my boss's son. We were also in a church.
Mrs. Wilson would hate that I was kissing a man in a church. She would call me filthy and dirty. But she was dead. I slipped a hand into Linc's hair and decided that I liked doing something that that woman would hate. When Linc's tongue ran across my bottom lip and pressed between my lips, I opened my mouth and let him inside.
"Told you those cupcakes were good," a female voice said, and then Linc's mouth was gone.
I dropped my hand back into my lap and turned around to see a female version of Linc standing in front of my desk, a knowing grin on her face. This was his sister. I had seen the pictures in the pastor's office. She hadn't stopped by in the two weeks I had been there, even though Pastor Keenan had said more than once that she would love me.
"You couldn't stand it, could you?" Linc said in an annoyed tone as he stared at his sister.
She cocked an eyebrow at him and shrugged. "You spend all your free time coming to visit here, and I knew it wasn't Dad you were bringing treats for. So I thought I would visit the new secretary and introduce myself."
Linc's hand moved to clamp down on my thigh.
His sister's eyes saw it, and she laughed and shook her head. "Seems you've got my brother all kinds of worked up," she said, then smiled at me. "I'm Lilah. Sorry I haven't been here to meet you yet. I've been busy getting things moved into my dorm, and I knew Linc was keeping you company every chance he got."
Lilah had the same dark hair as Linc, but it was longer and curled around her shoulders. She also had the same green eyes and long eyelashes. But she had a dimple in her right cheek that Linc didn't have. "It's nice to meet you," I replied. "And the cupcakes are amazing."
She beamed at me. "I know, right?" Then she shifted her attention to Linc. "You weren't exaggerating," she said to him.
I glanced at him, and he was covering up a grin with his hand and trying to make it look like he was casually rubbing it over his mouth. The laughter in his eyes told me differently.
I was missing something here.
"I have to go. I've got a lunch meeting in thirty minutes. I'll be back to visit when I'm in town next time. Be careful with him. He isn't as nice as he looks." Lilah winked, spun around, and then left the office.
"I would like to say she's not normally so annoyingly dramatic but I'd be lying," Linc said.
I was alone with Linc again, and this time we had a kiss between us. What did I say to him now?
His hand came up and cupped my face. "You okay? I . . . Was the kiss okay? Or did I push things?"
Push things? I shook my head, unsure of what exactly he meant. "I don't think so," I replied, remembering the thrill of kissing someone. It had been fun. "I liked it," I told him honestly.
He let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I was trying not to cave in and kiss you, but you make it hard for a guy to concentrate on anything else."
I did?
Pastor Keenan's office door started to open, and Linc jumped up to move his chair away and walk toward the door to leave.
I could hear Pastor Keenan talking to the couple as the door stayed cracked.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Linc said with a crooked grin. Then he left.
He didn't want his dad to see him here with me, but he had just kissed me. Something didn't make sense. But then I knew very little about guys. Maybe his dad would be able to tell we had just kissed and he would be upset that we did that in the church. I decided it was better that he left. I liked this job. I didn't want to lose it.
POV------KRIT
I stood at my window watching the parking lot outside. There was nothing to see in the parking lot. I could lie to myself and say I was waiting on the pizza delivery. The truth was I was waiting on Blythe's car to pull in. Last night I had not gone to see her before my gig, and she'd been on my mind most of the night.
Several shots of tequila and two brunettes with nice size racks had been the only way to get Blythe out of my head. Heels clicked against the tile floor as one of those brunettes walked back into the living room. She'd excused herself to use the restroom. I glanced back to see all she was now wearing was the heels she had shown up in.
When I had opened my door fifteen minutes ago to see one of my one-night stands from last night standing there, I had cursed myself for bringing them back here. Now she knew where I lived. Getting rid of her would be harder.
Her breasts were real, which was nice considering they swayed heavily as she walked toward me. Last night this one had seemed more competitive than her friend. She'd wanted all my attention, and those were normally the ones that caused the trouble. I didn't have time for trouble. I had pizza coming and I intended to share that with Blythe before I went to Live Bay.
Blythe and her sweet smile and perfect body. That laugh that made me want to say or do anything to hear it again. And the way she sometimes forgot to guard herself and let her eyes wander down over my chest. The pink flush of her cheeks when I changed shirts in front of her. Which was entirely for my benefit. I didn't need anyone's opinion on what T-shirt to wear each night. I took them off when I was on stage anyway. I just liked giving Blythe a reason to look. She liked to look, and I liked that too much.
"I thought we might have more fun—just the two of us," the brunette purred as she stopped in front of me and ran her hands up my chest.
This one was wanting to make an impression. I could tell her that she wore too much makeup and her perfume was overpowering. If I was a nice guy I could explain that I just liked women. Sexy long legs and big tits. I loved touching them and fucking them. But I wasn't a nice guy.
I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her down to her knees. She went willingly enough. "Take the edge off. That's all I got time for," I told her not sugarcoating this. If she wanted to walk out she was welcome to.
Her eyes lifted to mine and she smiled as if she'd won something. The girl was determined. Someone should have taught her that if a guy shoves you to her knees without kissing you then you should bite his damn dick off. No one told this girl that.
She quickly unzipped my jeans and tugged them down. I hadn't been wearing any underwear. It was way past laundry day, and I was without several items of clothing. I needed to wash some underwear.
My thoughts were on laundry when cool hands wrapped around my dick. Immediately my gears shifted and I pulled the stool up behind me and leaned back just as her lips slide over my still not fully erect cock. She needed to do a little work to get it onboard with this.
Her tongue twirled around the tip before sliding it completely into her mouth and then bumping it against the back of her throat. The head slid deeper in than most girls allowed without gagging, and I realized I had a pro on my hands. My boy came out to play then.
Lifting my hips I shoved deeper into her mouth with a groan of pleasure. "That's it. You like it deep. Fuck," I muttered reaching down to grab a handful of her hair and hold her in place. She had started something I was about to finish. I rarely got my hands on someone who wasn't a gagger.
Her hands grabbed my thighs and she held on as I began moving in and out of her mouth with hard thrusts. Her eyes lifted to mine and a triumphant gleam was in them. That wasn't gonna help me, so I closed my eyes and pictured another pair of eyes. Those jewel-like eyes that were so big and innocent, yet curious.
Thinking about having her on her knees in front of me, taking me like this, made me reach back and grab the stool behind me as my body began to jerk its release. Shuddering I kept my eyes closed, and Blythe's face stayed there as my body relaxed. The sharp nails that had dug into my thighs brought me back to the real world, and I opened my eyes to see a smug smile on the girl whose mouth I'd actually just shot my load in. She wasn't Blythe.
Glancing out the window I saw Blythe stepping out of her car with her backpack slung over her arm. The skirt she wore had my complete and full attention. Those long legs of hers looked so damn smooth. Did she like to have them touched? Would she make sweet whimpers when I touched her?
"How long will it take until you can play again?" the female I had forgotten about asked.
I tore my gaze off Blythe as she walked toward the building. Our dinner would be here any minute and I only had an hour and a half to spend with her before I went to our gig tonight.
"I gotta run. That was great. Thanks," I said pulling my jeans up and zipping them before reaching for the T-shirt on the sofa.
Scanning the room I searched for my wallet, but noticed the girl still on her knees with a disbelieving expression on her face. What had she expected? I told them last night I just liked to fuck. Nothing more. She was the one who showed back up today. I didn't ask her to.
"You're just gonna leave?" she asked.
"Yeah, and so are you," I replied.
She didn't move. Shit. She was gonna be dramatic. I wasn't in the mood for dramatic. I shouldn't have let her give me head. Bad fucking idea, Krit. Make her think you owe her something.
"Listen, love. I told you last night I don't do girls more than once. You wanted to get naked and prance around in front of me and all I wanted was a release. You gave me that and we're done. Last night you got a helluva lot more orgasms than me. So we're even," the disbelief in her eyes turned to fury as she stood up. Those nice tits were appealing but I had better things to do. "Go get dressed. I gotta go," I reminded her as I pointed to the bathroom door.
"You're a bastard," she hissed.
"Yes I am. Now get your clothes on."
POV------BLYTHE
After changing into a pair of cutoff sweatpants and a tank top, I dug my glasses out of my bag and put them on, then pulled my hair up into a messy bun to get it out of the way. Tonight I planned on writing, but first I had to find something to cook for dinner. I had bought several things at the store that I could easily make. I just wasn't sure what I was in the mood for.
On my way to the kitchen a knock sounded at my door and I stopped and stared at it. That had to be Krit. No one else ever came by. Glancing down at myself I debated on running back in the room and changing. At least jerking my hair back down and taking off these glasses.
No. I would not do that. Krit wasn't here to be impressed with how I looked. He probably just wanted advice on a shirt. I forced myself to walk over to the door just as I was and open it up.
Krit's slow grin lit up his face as he took in the way I was dressed. At least I could amuse him. "Aren't you too fucking adorable for words," he said.
I wasn't adorable but I wasn't going to argue with him. "Hey," I replied, then the smell of pizza hit my nose and I realized he wasn't empty handed. He was carrying a box from the pizza place down the street.
He held the box out so I could see it. "I need help eating this," he said with his entirely too sexy grin on his face.
Why he was here yet again with food to share with me I wasn't sure. Did he really like being around me? Was this what friendship was? I stepped back and let him walk inside. He stopped in front of me and lifted a finger and touched the tip of my nose. "Those glasses," he said and chuckled and shook his head. Then he walked toward the table with the pizza.
He hadn't looked like he was making fun of me and my glasses, but what had he meant by that? I closed the door and gave myself a moment to adjust to him being in here before turning to look at him. He was already walking into the kitchen to help himself to plates.
If he was teasing me about my glasses that was okay because friends teased each other. Right? I think they did. I could handle some friendly teasing. I knew I looked like a complete nerd in my glasses. It wasn't like I thought they were attractive. Krit was used to the women in his world being beautiful and perfect. Maybe that was why he liked me. He didn't get distracted by my looks.
That was a completely depressing thought.
"You gonna stand there frowning at this perfectly yummy pizza or come eat some?" Krit asked as he held out a plate to me.
I was being awkward again. He was here to be nice and friendly and I was making this weird. I shoved my thoughts about why Krit was here aside and forced a smile. He had brought me dinner. I wouldn't have to cook now. This was a good thing. I wasn't here to waste time with a guy anyway. I had a life to build. A book to write. I had goals.
"That's my girl," he said as I took the plate from his hand.
I wasn't his girl. He didn't mean anything by that. Telling myself that didn't keep my silly heart from picking up its pace. But then all Krit had to do was grin at me or wink and my heart went into a frenzy. It was as if my body couldn't deal with the excitement that came along with Krit.
"How's the job?" Krit asked as he pulled out a chair and sat down.
I shrugged. Not much to tell him really. "Good. I enjoy it. I don't deal with a lot of people and the pastor is really nice." I didn't mention Linc. Especially after the kiss we had shared today. I wasn't ready to talk about Linc. I wasn't sure what I was feeling where he was concerned. And I didn't need Krit reading into anything I said.
"You ever gonna come listen to me play?" he asked, then took a bite of his pizza.
No. More than likely not. Going to a club where I knew no one other than a guy on the stage did not sound appealing at all. It sounded terrifying. However, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
"I'm not sure. I don't do that scene, or I never have. I wouldn't even know anyone."
Krit studied me a moment. "You could bring a friend," he finally said.
A friend. I had two of those. At least I thought I did. I was still trying to figure out what constituted a friend.
"I'll see if I have one that wants to go with me," I told him, wanting to change the subject.
"You have that public speaking class yet?" he asked.
I nodded. I had suffered through it and somehow made it out on the other side alive. But that didn't mean I would always get out of being called on to go up front. "Not my favorite," I admitted.
"You really have a problem with attention don't you?" he asked as he finished off his first slice of pizza.
He had no idea how much of a problem I had with attention. He loved it. I hadn't seen him perform yet, but I could tell by the look on his face when he talked about it that he adored having all eyes on him. I had no doubt those eyes on him loved every minute of it too. Having a reason to look at Krit was always nice.
"I just don't have good experiences with it. . . . I like to go unnoticed." I wasn't telling him anymore. My past needed to stay in the past. This was my now and my future. I didn't want to bring all the ugliness and pain from my past into the life I had now.
"Problem with that, love, is that you're really fucking hard not to notice," Krit said with a small smile on his lips, but a sincerity in his gaze that made me think he didn't mean that in a bad way. Almost as if he was saying he liked what he saw.
"I try to blend in," I replied, not sure if I was misunderstanding him or not. I wanted to believe he meant that as a compliment, but how could he?
"That's a shame," he said, then reached for another piece of pizza.
I decided to change the subject and asked him about how he learned to play the guitar. Our conversation became easy then and relaxed. I loved hearing his voice and listening to him laugh.
What I didn't expect was that Krit would show up every evening like this and eat with me for the next two weeks. But he did. And I liked it. No, I didn't just like it . . . I planned my day around it.
POV------KRIT
It was becoming a habit. That was all. Nothing more. I was not addicted to her. I wasn't. Just a nice little distraction. Seeing Blythe in the evenings before I left for my gigs was a way to have a moment to just be me. Blythe didn't require me to be anything else.
Last night she had actually rolled her eyes at one of my jokes and thrown her napkin at me. It had taken every ounce of strength I had to stay in my seat and not grab her face and taste those full lips. She wasn't nervous with me anymore. She smiled at me and let me in when I knocked on her door.
Somehow she had become my level ground. The place I could go to find myself before I went out and entertained everyone. She didn't hang on me and beg me for anything. It was easy with Blythe.
Or at least I kept telling myself that.
If I acknowledged the truth, I would panic. So instead I was going to believe this was all I wanted from her. Just seeing her was enough. Hearing her laugh made my fucking day.
"Hey," she said with that smile from heaven as she stepped back and let me inside her apartment.
"I got the pad Thai you like," I said, holding up the bag from the Thai place down the street. After watching her make those sweet little moaning noises as she ate it the last time I picked it up, I decided I needed to watch her eat it again.
Her eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands and bounced on her feet like a little girl. Women who looked like Blythe were not supposed to be so damn cute. Seeing her get excited over food made me want to feed her three meals a day.
"I made sweet tea just like you showed me. Come, taste it. I think I got it right," she said as she hurried to the kitchen.
Two nights ago she had said she loved sweet tea, but she didn't know how to make it, and buying it was too expensive. So I'd taught her how. You would have thought I was brilliant by the way she watched me and asked me questions. It was as if I was conducting a science experiment. Another thing about Blythe: she made me feel important. Needed. Like I was a part of her life that she relied on.
That felt fucking good. Too good.
But I was not addicted. I didn't care what Green said. Blythe was not an addiction. I hated that he had started accusing me of that.
I sat the bag down on Blythe's kitchen table and followed her to the bar where she was filling up a glass of ice with tea from the gallon-size plastic pitcher I had brought her when I taught her how to make sweet tea.
"Taste it," she said with excitement dancing in her eyes.
If this tasted like shit, I wasn't going to be able to tell her. Not with her looking like that. Hurting Blythe was something I was incapable of. I would lie to make her smile. I had done just that last week when she had made me a grilled cheese and burned it. She had seemed so worried about what I thought, so I swallowed every last bite like it was the best thing I had ever put in my mouth.
Preparing myself for the worst, I picked up the glass and took a drink. The sweet taste was just right. She had nailed it. No bitterness in the tea—the perfect blend of ice and sugar. Grinning, I set the glass down and smacked my lips. "Perfect, love. That was fucking perfect."
"Really?" she asked, her eyes shining brightly.
It was times like this all I wanted to do was scoop her up and kiss her until we were both stripping off each other's clothes. Fuck. Shit. I was not going to think about that again. I had to stop thinking about her naked.
She was the kind of girl you had a relationship with. Not the kind you fucked because you couldn't stop lusting over her. She was also becoming important to me. To my sanity. I needed her. And fucking her would ruin that. This thing we had—I couldn't ruin it. I had never had this before, and it was too important to mess up.
"Really. Fill up my glass, and let's go eat," I told her as I turned away from those eyes and went to get plates out of the cabinet.
"You want a fork?" I asked her, already knowing the answer. She had attempted to eat the pad Thai with chopsticks last time, and it had been a disaster.
She laughed and nodded.
I grabbed us both a fork and headed to the table to fix our plates. This was what I wasn't willing to lose. I had never had a place where I felt like I belonged. This wasn't the kind of friendship I was used to, and I loved it. I woke up every morning thinking about what I would bring to dinner and what we would talk about. Things would happen during the day, and the first person who I wanted to tell was Blythe. In the short month since she had moved in, she had made herself the most important person in my life.
Fuck.
I turned around to see her grinning at me like I'd hung the moon, and my heart clenched. No. This was wrong. I wasn't that guy. She needed to see the real me. The me I was when I wasn't here eating dinner with her and talking about our days. She was looking at me with . . . oh, hell no. She was looking at me with something more.
I set the fork down and stared at the table. I had to remind her. She had to remember who I was. I was only worthy of her friendship. She had to remember we would always be just friends. This need I had for her company was confusing her. It was in her eyes. Those big beautiful eyes were so expressive and trusting.
Fuck. Fuck. Shit!
"I, uh, I'm running late. I gotta run. Didn't look at the time. Sorry, but you have plenty of pad Thai you can eat. Uh, yeah, I'll see you . . . later," I rambled. Panic was in my voice, but I couldn't help it. Backing up from the table, I forced myself to smile at her, but I didn't look in her eyes. I couldn't. I turned and got the hell out of there.
Protecting Blythe was my original intention. Someone needed to protect her, but damn it, I hadn't protected her from me. But there was still time to show her what she had forgotten during our cozy dinners. I was Krit Corbin. I was the lead singer in a band and I fucked women. Lots of them.
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