The next moment, Frozen Milk opened his eyes, he was in the wildness. A majestic jungle overdrawn with vines, insects and wet, pouring steam and whatever else of a description he thought of.
Frozen Milk immediately knew where he was. After all, he spent ages crafting, perfecting and bullshitting his word count into 5 digits about this cursed jungle, this cursed scene that was about to happen!
Frozen Milk still needed to be sure. Even after writing every tiny detail a jungle has ever seen, he was astonished by the sheer size and force this view in front of him had. It took him a while to find the river and view his reflection.
Sure enough, it was a tragic sight that confirmed his suspicions...
The trauma of dying still lingered and now he was faced with a new obstacle, higher than the walls of Babylon. Because there was no damn wall! Not in Babylon and here! No damn wall to guard him because this obstacle was the lowest of the low, so low it made his death due to pee seem ridiculous!
He transmigrated! He transmigrated into his own damn novel! The novel he was currently publishing and writing! What was Inception? Nothing compared to this!
The author of the novel within his novel transmigrated and now he transmigrated into his own novel about transmigration? It was truly like lovepeace&life said: a clusterfuck of a plot!
Frozen Milk wanted to cry, he wanted to cry blood and smear it all over whoever was responsible for his transmigration.
He didn't want to cross over to his novel like this! Not like this!
As neither the protagonist nor the antagonist but a small, insignificant cannon fodder character that just served to further the plot and was killed off without any mercy!
Frozen Milk can still remember how much blood, sweat and tears he poured into this particular scene, describing vividly and as detailed as he could how this cannon fodder of a shitty character was slowly and gruesomely killed off by the main villain!
And all that because Frozen Milk wanted to show how cool, how badass and how damn absurd and truly boss level his main villain was. Now he transmigrated into this character about to be killed by the amazing antagonist!
He slapped himself remembering how much fun he had writing the death and how much anguish he wished the small, exploitable character because he was indeed rooting for the villain.
"Fuck," Frozen Milk cursed. Out of all places, out of all characters, he had to, he just absolutely had to be transmigrated into the worst murder of a pitiful character in the whole, entire book!
He felt bad for himself, he felt bad for the character now! How would he be able to outrun his fate? He was going to die! He was really going to die for a second time! Who was this unlucky? Who?
Was this karma, was this really the karma he laughingly thought he could avoid and slap away with a slight movement of his hand?
"If I had known, I'd have written a normal novel, ok? Lived a proper life with proper morals, ok? I get it! I get it! I get it! So, please get me out of here!" Frozen Milk hit the surface of the water, it bounced back, and droplets of the toxic water hit him and melted spots on his skin.
He immediately crawled away from the river. He forgot! He wrote water as acid to show how cruel this world was!
Suddenly-
Bing.
"Welcome host, this is the transmigration system wishing host a pleasant stay in this world. System is going to undergo maintenance."
A robotic voice appeared in his head.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What the fuck do you mean undergo maintenance? Weren't you supposed to give me a clear understanding of what the fuck is happening, why I'm here and how I can get out of here? Isn't it like accumulating points to travel back to the real world?"
"Host already knows how transmigration works. If host is unsure, please refer to host's self-written 20 books on transmigration."
"Are you mocking me?"
"Wishing host a pleasant stay."
"A pleasant stay my ass! I'm about to be killed off! Wait! Wait! Please! No, come back, come-" Frozen Milk fell on the ground as he furiously tried to argue with the system in his mind.
He was done for, there was no way he could ever rescue himself, outwit his fate. His last hope, that damn fake system under constant maintenance, proved to be an even bigger pain in the ass than the fact he was literally about to die!
Frozen Milk gripped his hair in frustration, ready to pull them all out when suddenly leaf crunches, noises, footsteps, whatever noise it was, send him off to his journey of insanity. He wanted to slap himself, truly and utterly beat himself into some points of IQ.
The river, the place he was in right now, was his grave, the murder ground for the most brutal death the world has ever faced and was ready for! And he was stupid enough to come here!
He would appear.
The main villain, the final boss, the person that would give the protagonist a hard time, that would beat the OP protagonist into a bloody pulp!
Frozen Milk steeled his nerves and moved away from the source of the noise, his frantic mind blocked all signals to his brain and he completely numbed himself from the burning sting of acid on his skin.
He didn't want to die a second time and definitely not a painful following his shameful one, so he should run! Run far away, trying to live a day more but... it was curiosity. Blind curiosity like a maiden in heat giving her first time to a stinky old male just because she wanted to experience what it would be like.
Yes, Frozen Milk's deepest wish right now that even overpowered his love for his life was to see the villain, the godly villain he wrote as the alpha male amongst all alpha males. The one he spent so much time on crafting his handsomeness, his holy beauty until his fingers bled, and blood and pus poured all over the keyboard.
He really wanted to see his villain! He wrote the villain as the type of guy a male should be in his opinion, while the protagonist was more on the less manly but charming and gorgeous side to reel in all the females he would bed throughout the whole damn book, enough to fill mansions!
Frozen Milk was conflicted. Never in his life had he come to a more struggling decision than now.
He stood rooted on the spot as the footsteps closed in and finally, the branches of the trees bend, and a glorious figure came into vision:
The final boss of his novel.
The handsome, oh so handsome final boss that would start Frozen Milk's adventure.
A painful, tragic yet bittersweet adventure.
...
...
...
Well, there's that.
Good luck Frozen Milk!
There was no way Frozen Milk could contain himself. Excitement, fear and anxiety were all eating on him away. He was a nervous wreck about to be sent as an offering to all the blackened readers who would've gladly welcomed his corpse as their trophy.
Frozen Milk was indeed frozen. Frozen on the spot, unable to move as the footsteps closed in and the branches of the trees rustled as if they were trying to rustle Frozen Milk into insanity.
Then it finally stopped.
A low, magnetic voice appeared behind Frozen Milk: "Who are you?"
That was when Frozen Milk truly wished he could get sucked into a void to endure all the hate comments shoved into his ass.
"Hey, system! System! Please reply! Please! How am I supposed to get out of here? How?"
Yet it was futile. The system gave him a half-assed answer such as "currently in sleep mode".
"Are you sure you're in sleep mode? Are you? Are you? Someone in a fucking sleep mode won't be able to fucking say they're in a sleep mode, damn you! My systems aren't even half of a drained ass like you!"
Frozen Milk cursed and cursed in his mind. Millions of flying thoughts swarmed and circled around his brain. He was furious. So furious!
"Hey, I asked you a question!" a large hand grabbed his shoulder and Frozen Milk felt how violently his soul tried to leave his body. It was trying to forcefully extract itself, so only his lump of meat that was his body would suffer.
Frozen Milk was at a complete loss about what to do! How were the authors in his stories able to survive? By knowledge? By how different they were? The oh-so-cliché "wow, you're not like the others!" crap?
Screw that! He wouldn't fall into those cliché tropes! No way! He had enough reading about them in his hate comments. Now, he knew why his readers hated them so much. He would never cling onto the golden thigh nor try to make the villain his. No! No! No!
So, what was the best option? Of course! To run, to unabashedly and proudly run the hell away. Maybe he could awaken some special power but that was only a helpless, feeble dream, crushing hope of his.
The grip intensified and Frozen Milk felt his shoulder blade would crack any second and could be used as a damn murder weapon. He definitely didn't want to be killed by his own bone.
Frozen Milk furiously tried to get his mind to work. Even though he wrote his villain, he had absolutely no idea on how to appease him because he wrote the villain as vague and mysterious as possible. Only his violent and OPness was written in detail.
Frozen Milk really felt all the life force drain out of him. He was tired, so tired. He would die any moment. Well, he already died once, so what was the difference?
The difference? The difference was, this one here would be a bloody slow and painful death! Lost in his thoughts, Frozen Milk suddenly screamed out. The hand on his shoulder brutally made him turn around and now he was face to face with his villain.
And oh boy, Frozen Milk was ready to drop his pants and donate his blood through his nose to worship this godly alpha male. The saliva he drooled from his mouth was in such large quantities that all the fangirls and rotten females would be so envious, they'd immediately start a protest and write countless hateful fanfics of him to show their superiority.
Frozen Milk was a dude. Yes, Frozen Milk was a damn dude and he was straight. Straight as a ruler, as a cucumber that'd be used to pleasure all the lewd and hungry females in both openings.
Yet, he couldn't help but to feel a bit proud to see what a godly creature he created and that only with paper and pen or better said, keyboard and monitor!
For the first time in his life, Frozen Milk felt satisfaction and pleasure from something else than angering his poor readers. He now understood and realised the power he held. The power of an author and completely forgot this was also the reason why he ended up here in the first place.
"Man, I've done a bloody good job!" Frozen Milk wiped off his drool and seized up the villain.
"Good, good," Frozen Milk was truly impressed. Perfect handsome face, perfect well-built body.
"Good, good," Frozen Milk didn't realise that all the words he thought would only dare to appear in his mind actually had the audacity to find their way out of his rotten mouth into the ears of his fearsome villain.
Yet, his villain watched this pitiful and lowly insignificant character's eyes almost violently ravaging his body and the words accompanied by a shuddering, harassing voice, entering every part of his body to gruesomely attack his hormones.
The villain continued to stand there and watch Frozen Milk become more brazen and arrogant by the minute as his long fingers full of ulterior motives poked the naked parts of the villain and sent a stream of signals that triggered the villain's unconscious murderous side.
Just a minute ago, this small character trembled before the all-mighty villain but now it seemed like the tables have turned and the villain was reduced to a groping doll that was bound by its fear to have something rather nasty poke or pleasure itself on it.
The villain now made up his mind. This cannon fodder in front of him with a humongous audacity needed to be eliminated! In the worst and most befitting way possible for a disgraceful pervert.
Frozen Milk immediately tensed up. He sensed it. He never knew it was possible to feel something like this but just now he felt it: the overwhelming and pure killing intent. It crawled all over his body and gnawed on every part of him with waves of oncoming death whispering, no breathing into his face.
If Frozen Milk knew the villain thought of him as a lustful pervert, Frozen Milk would've gladly buried himself in his disappearing dignity and pride he already lost ages ago.He was just trying to figure out if his villain was real! If he was real blood and flesh, how could he be so misunderstood?
But Frozen milk would never know and all that he could think of was to escape the massive murderous aura looming over him.
"What did I do?" Frozen Milk cried tears of injustice and wished he could freeze them to use as icicles to penetrate the villain so he would understand his feelings.
But it was impossible and what was more impossible to think of was that right now Frozen Milk ran away from the villain like a maiden running away from her crush and constantly calling out: "Come and get me hahaha."
Hahahaha, his ass!
In this large jungle with dozens of vines, blood lustful insects and melting water, Frozen Milk tripped a few times too much and his body screamed in anguish. But he could suppress the vicious cries of his body because all on his mind were those imposing footsteps behind him.
"Oh dear, oh Lord, I promise I will be a better person next time! No, not next time! Not next time! This time! This time! I'll live a pious life and become a monk to help all the people!" Frozen Milk prayed hard.
Yes, that was it! He was going to become a monk to free himself of all his sinful sadistic pleasures of inflicting emotional pain onto his readers he loved to toy with.
And as if heaven gave him a second chance, as if the reader god took pity on him, a small cave underneath a rock appeared.
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