It was basically just like everything else. The same old, tired, worn-out plot that was being abused over and over again, beaten, milked until nothing but the tears and vomit of the readers would come out.
The same old, tragic story about transmigration.
Xxchanxx1234 – 8.17 pm
All the same, all the same, every damn book of his, it's all the fcking same! I shit you not if I've to read his lowly skills of writing transmigration one more time, I'll catch the next flight and shove my damn prosthetic leg down that shit horse of an author! You want to tell me this person, writing this bullshit that is apparently a novel, is one? -1000 out of 10 if I could give! If you want to write the same topic over and over again then ffs go and be good at it! Your elementary school teacher would smear all of our bloody tears over her eyes if she could see how she taught you to write! Go and fck yourself, author!
Frozen Milk scrolled down and was hit with a million more reviews of blackened fans that hated him, his story, his sole existence and everyone that was ever in contact with him, brought him up, taught him and just allowed him to live until today.
Yet, Frozen Milk still dominated the web novel rankings with a dashing and golden #1, slapping each and every hater into oblivion until they would mysteriously gain 10 times the strength in the black void of hate, unite, come back and stuff down more of their hateful and figurative images of him dying, literally, down his throat, so he could finally cough up some good content. Good content with a good ending.
Yes, that was the cue.
Frozen Milk was a transmigration writer, meaning the only thing he would ever write were stories about how a poor author transmigrated into his own story and had to survive. Over and over again.
It was fun and interesting, a new daring concept the first time but after abusing the publish button a little bit too much with basically the same plot and characters just wrapped in a new setting, the readers slowly caught on.
Their screams against this injustice of Frozen Milk handling them like little, stupid, absurd children who were so blind they would not realise they were being fooled, was literally shaking the gods in the heavens.
What was Frozen Milk thinking? 20 books and they were all about transmigration! And to top it off- they all had bad endings, shitty endings, so twisted and crappy it proceeded to be not even a thorn, not even an iron cucumber, no not even a dick but a full-fledged 100 times the size of an Armageddon rocket in people's eyes.
Frozen Milk was truly a legend across all web novel platforms, dominating the heated divide between readers. All attention on him while other authors could only dream of his success. This kind of love and hate relationship with his fans, the masochism in the readers who'd complain, hate, complain and hate, yet always come back to his stories to write that review, to hit that notification button, to be faster than lightning, to fulfil their needy nature of painful satisfaction.
Frozen Milk was truly a legend, a legend of all legends existing, no one could even compare to him, no one could ever hope to glimpse at this dazzling writer who was like a god in heaven- unattainable, amongst all the sprouts and weeds of new authors that pop up and grow faster than pubic hair cut off daily.
Who else than him could churn out 10 000 words a day, the next day, the following day and still have the energy to do so for the rest of the year?
All perseverance, extreme tenacity paid off for him, worshipped and praised by everyone...
If only, if only his character wasn't that shitty! A true scum, a scum among scum!
If the readers were to know he actually enjoyed, no- made it his nightly entertainment show, beating all the guilty pleasures and crap shows online and on TV to have his share of entertainment by reading the hate comments, by messing with the readers, then they would all cut him open, stab themselves, pry open their skins and drown him in his own and fellow sufferers' blood.
It was true.
Frozen Milk truly and whole-heartedly enjoyed the despair of his readers, the hate comments that slapped in his face faster than horse shit back onto the horse leg. It was his holy grail, his lifeline that kept him alive.
Those 10 000 words a day wouldn't be possible if he wasn't shitting himself with laughter, imagining how angry the readers were going to be.
So, that was why he continued writing transmigration stories, continued to pair them up with shitty endings and continued to bask in all the glorious hate that was less attainable than a fly on poop.
Frozen Milk stood up to make himself some tea before he sat back down, his trembling hand full of excitement and anticipation on the wheel of the mouse before he finally scrolled down the comments.
Miles003- 8.18 pm
OP, no need to hate on this book so much if you keep coming back. OP seems to be constipated, let out your steam by shoving these flowery books up your ass, maybe as much as shit as it comes out of your mouth would hopefully find the way and come out of the right hole for once.
Xxchanxx1234- 8.20 pm
@miles003 unlike you, I don't need to eat a pile of shit to shit out a pile of shit. So, thanks for your concern but my poop is smooth enough to come out of both holes. Go and dig yourself a grave.
Lovepeace&life- 8.21 pm
I agree w/ OP, this clusterf*** of a plot... does author really believe we're brainless enough to think this is good? Protag's IQ lower than a bird's liver on operation table -50, antag's IQ -1000 even dumber than protags. Author really fully utilises the cliché tropes and jammed it into a multiplying machine to make the tropes worse than they are. Which damn villain, which person in general, tell me, is stupid enough to blabber on and on about their plans in front of the whole world??? At least final boss seems decent if it wouldn't be just an onset of words about how damn handsome he is! Frozen Milk, you a damn dude, aren't you?? FFS describe the beauties more!
Tragicloveaffair- 8.25 pm
@xxchancc1234 @lovepeaceandlife
Don't read the effing thing if you don't like. Simple.
Dddnoname- 8.25pm
This whole book can go and *** itself. The whole author can go and *** himself. All the characters can go and *** themselves, hopefully, they transmigrate and go and *** the author for being written so ***. I wish I could *** and ***, so to *** while the author ***.
[Death] [Death] [Death] Anyone that likes this is a *** ready to be *** so they can ***.
[This comment is awaiting moderation]
Frozen Milk approved dddnoname's comment and the intensity of it made him slightly die inside.
Being able to endure hate comments was one thing, being able to endure violent sexual harassment in the form of a hate comment was on another level. Frozen Milk applauded himself, he was truly a mentally strong person.
He stirred his tea and gulped it down in one go. He slapped his own thigh and laughed:
"Fucking morons."
His exclaim reached the screen and vanished like a poof as he contemplated his life choices. He really was shameless enough to be at this point in his life and career to contemplate about his twisted mind and fingers that produced spiteful suffering over the years for people.
At first, he started writing transmigration novels because he truly loved and believed in them and then his, maybe so-called obsession, came on a little too strong and he bullshitted his way to the top in hopes his readers would be enraged enough to curse him because that was how usually transmigration stories started.
The readers curse the author, the author died and then because of infuriating the readers, the author got transmigrated into his own story as a punishment to witness what a shitty book he wrote.
But then, along the way, Frozen Milk himself didn't know how, he ended up loving, physically embracing the hate he got and the thought of ever being able to transmigrate entered the back of his small brain and rested in a room called "Death to transmigration."
Yet what Frozen Milk didn't know, never would've been able to guess was, that there was indeed such a thing as a justice god. A writer god formed by the spirits of all readers that died, sacrificed themselves mentally in hopes to let justice pour down like iron arrows and ultimately a hammer, smashing Frozen Milk to his true demise. That was the only justice this world could accept.
So, the writer god was born and as a new-born god, it was past his limits and capabilities to endure and take on all the prayers of suffering and anguish of the poor abused readers that have been put through hell solely for Frozen Milk's nightly fun, and this other-worldly being then decided to heed the alarm bells going off and released the readers from their torture and blackened reviews to enact the most powerful wish since the history of mankind- true justice.
So, Frozen Milk had to suffer, and this experience was worse than he could ever imagine.
After drinking more than enough tea to send him minutely to the toilet, he was so impatient to zip down and pull out to release the flow of nature waiting to burst that he accidentally zipped that opening of a satisfying stream.
In pain of having his meat between vicious iron claws and in need to urgently relief himself, his yellow accumulation of entertainment landed on the ground.
Frozen Milk cursed and quickly pushed his force of nature back into his trousers and zipped up, only to slip on his pee and crack his skull open on the bathroom floor.
A truly tragic and shameful death. Truly befitting.
All for the sake of lighten the wrath of his readers and pay for his sins.
His brain finally opened the room of "Death to transmigration" and threw it out.
Hi, thanks for reading!
It's, erm, a really funny story, esp later on, if the first chapter doesn't convince you!
As you can see this is comedy and makes fun of not only most of the existing tropes but also itself.
I promise the writing will be less complicated haha
As I've mentioned in the description this will have elements of BL
I hope this author note wont turn you off lol
Give it a try and I hope you enjoy it!
The next moment, Frozen Milk opened his eyes, he was in the wildness. A majestic jungle overdrawn with vines, insects and wet, pouring steam and whatever else of a description he thought of.
Frozen Milk immediately knew where he was. After all, he spent ages crafting, perfecting and bullshitting his word count into 5 digits about this cursed jungle, this cursed scene that was about to happen!
Frozen Milk still needed to be sure. Even after writing every tiny detail a jungle has ever seen, he was astonished by the sheer size and force this view in front of him had. It took him a while to find the river and view his reflection.
Sure enough, it was a tragic sight that confirmed his suspicions...
The trauma of dying still lingered and now he was faced with a new obstacle, higher than the walls of Babylon. Because there was no damn wall! Not in Babylon and here! No damn wall to guard him because this obstacle was the lowest of the low, so low it made his death due to pee seem ridiculous!
He transmigrated! He transmigrated into his own damn novel! The novel he was currently publishing and writing! What was Inception? Nothing compared to this!
The author of the novel within his novel transmigrated and now he transmigrated into his own novel about transmigration? It was truly like lovepeace&life said: a clusterfuck of a plot!
Frozen Milk wanted to cry, he wanted to cry blood and smear it all over whoever was responsible for his transmigration.
He didn't want to cross over to his novel like this! Not like this!
As neither the protagonist nor the antagonist but a small, insignificant cannon fodder character that just served to further the plot and was killed off without any mercy!
Frozen Milk can still remember how much blood, sweat and tears he poured into this particular scene, describing vividly and as detailed as he could how this cannon fodder of a shitty character was slowly and gruesomely killed off by the main villain!
And all that because Frozen Milk wanted to show how cool, how badass and how damn absurd and truly boss level his main villain was. Now he transmigrated into this character about to be killed by the amazing antagonist!
He slapped himself remembering how much fun he had writing the death and how much anguish he wished the small, exploitable character because he was indeed rooting for the villain.
"Fuck," Frozen Milk cursed. Out of all places, out of all characters, he had to, he just absolutely had to be transmigrated into the worst murder of a pitiful character in the whole, entire book!
He felt bad for himself, he felt bad for the character now! How would he be able to outrun his fate? He was going to die! He was really going to die for a second time! Who was this unlucky? Who?
Was this karma, was this really the karma he laughingly thought he could avoid and slap away with a slight movement of his hand?
"If I had known, I'd have written a normal novel, ok? Lived a proper life with proper morals, ok? I get it! I get it! I get it! So, please get me out of here!" Frozen Milk hit the surface of the water, it bounced back, and droplets of the toxic water hit him and melted spots on his skin.
He immediately crawled away from the river. He forgot! He wrote water as acid to show how cruel this world was!
Suddenly-
Bing.
"Welcome host, this is the transmigration system wishing host a pleasant stay in this world. System is going to undergo maintenance."
A robotic voice appeared in his head.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What the fuck do you mean undergo maintenance? Weren't you supposed to give me a clear understanding of what the fuck is happening, why I'm here and how I can get out of here? Isn't it like accumulating points to travel back to the real world?"
"Host already knows how transmigration works. If host is unsure, please refer to host's self-written 20 books on transmigration."
"Are you mocking me?"
"Wishing host a pleasant stay."
"A pleasant stay my ass! I'm about to be killed off! Wait! Wait! Please! No, come back, come-" Frozen Milk fell on the ground as he furiously tried to argue with the system in his mind.
He was done for, there was no way he could ever rescue himself, outwit his fate. His last hope, that damn fake system under constant maintenance, proved to be an even bigger pain in the ass than the fact he was literally about to die!
Frozen Milk gripped his hair in frustration, ready to pull them all out when suddenly leaf crunches, noises, footsteps, whatever noise it was, send him off to his journey of insanity. He wanted to slap himself, truly and utterly beat himself into some points of IQ.
The river, the place he was in right now, was his grave, the murder ground for the most brutal death the world has ever faced and was ready for! And he was stupid enough to come here!
He would appear.
The main villain, the final boss, the person that would give the protagonist a hard time, that would beat the OP protagonist into a bloody pulp!
Frozen Milk steeled his nerves and moved away from the source of the noise, his frantic mind blocked all signals to his brain and he completely numbed himself from the burning sting of acid on his skin.
He didn't want to die a second time and definitely not a painful following his shameful one, so he should run! Run far away, trying to live a day more but... it was curiosity. Blind curiosity like a maiden in heat giving her first time to a stinky old male just because she wanted to experience what it would be like.
Yes, Frozen Milk's deepest wish right now that even overpowered his love for his life was to see the villain, the godly villain he wrote as the alpha male amongst all alpha males. The one he spent so much time on crafting his handsomeness, his holy beauty until his fingers bled, and blood and pus poured all over the keyboard.
He really wanted to see his villain! He wrote the villain as the type of guy a male should be in his opinion, while the protagonist was more on the less manly but charming and gorgeous side to reel in all the females he would bed throughout the whole damn book, enough to fill mansions!
Frozen Milk was conflicted. Never in his life had he come to a more struggling decision than now.
He stood rooted on the spot as the footsteps closed in and finally, the branches of the trees bend, and a glorious figure came into vision:
The final boss of his novel.
The handsome, oh so handsome final boss that would start Frozen Milk's adventure.
A painful, tragic yet bittersweet adventure.
...
...
...
Well, there's that.
Good luck Frozen Milk!
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