Chapter 69: Chapter 69
I lay in bed, feeling I should be somewhere else, there is a pull to him that I have never had before. I miss him, and he is just downstairs. Why do I feel this? Why now? I have no answers for that. I just can't help how I feel.
I get up out of bed, checking on the twins before I got downstairs. I see they are sleeping everything is calm and peaceful in this house. It's taken a long time, but it finally is. I walk down the basement stairs, going over to Ichiru's bed. Where he is just laying there with his arms over his head, and flat on his back, his eyes closed with no shirt. The tv on in the background low, to keep him company.
I haven't come down here in a while, so he would have no idea I would. I just couldn't help myself. I just take a minute to stare at his soft milky white chest, his grey long hair hanging on the sides of his face. Those long grey lashes, I feel things I haven't felt in a long time. I sit in his bed, getting under the covers this time, and scooting over to his side, where I lay my head on his bare chest, wrapping my arm around him.
I see he opens one eye to see, then he just wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I feel so warm, so safe. I just close my eyes and enjoy this feeling.
I see she has come to me tonight, wanting to be close, her laying her head on my chest and arm around me, feels like home. I can sense she is getting closer to me. She even said she missed me tonight, it felt so good to hear. That all my energy towards this isn't a waste of time. Its actually getting me to my goal. I know its taking time, but seeing the progress makes it worth it.
I would give anything to be even closer to her, how badly I want to kiss her, to show her how much I really love her. I have been holding it in for so long, I sometimes feel as if I am going to blow. I am not sure if she has sexual chemistry towards me, but I do have it for her. I have for years even before this. I just always had to hide it. I guess she would have some since I look like him. He was her fantasy. She just hides it better than me then. She controls herself and if that is the case, I really wish she wouldn't. That she would just let go and show me how she feels. At this point, I don't even care if some of it has to do with my brother. He might be her fantasy but he isn't me. I have way more experience in that department than he ever had, and the way I feel towards her is incredible. I just want to show it.
I close my eyes and hold her close to me, keeping my hands wrapped around her back. I will stay the gentlemen. I don't want to ruin things or chase her off. I want this to build, I want her to want me. I just try to get some rest, its been a long day.
Morning comes and I wake up in Ichiru's arms. Neither of us moving from that spot all night. I felt so close to him, I love it. I want to kiss his bare chest and I don't understand why, but I just get out of bed. Getting myself ready for work. Still very confused with my own feelings.
We give the kids breakfast and go to work. Ichiru smiling from ear to ear today. I see so much happiness all over him. It's wonderful. It's kind of like when I gave Zero his family and a new life. He was all happy and excited to. Just for Ichiru, it isn't the life I gave him, it's me he is happy with. I do see my eyes are open this time. I see so much more clearly.
We get to work, and I go to my office, telling Ichiru I will see him for lunch like every day. I enjoy it ever so much. It also gives us both something to look forward to. I keep my office door open so I can watch what is going on outside, and Ichiru does the same, our offices are across from each other. I find him peeking in my office a lot during the day. It's kind of cute.
While I am sitting at my desk, I see a tall, slender woman walking into Ichiru's office. She goes up to him, giving him a kiss, and a big hug. I can see, they were romantic once, in how she touches him. What she is doing here now, I don't know, and for some reason, I don't like it. I watch as she touches his hand, and flirts with him. For some reason, it hurts me, its like watching Zero with Yuki all over again. I get a pain in my heart and even tears in my eyes.
I just stay in my office, feeling he isn't mine, I have no right to feel anyway. He has been doing everything he can to be there for me the last year, and I am crying over his brother. I do my best to try not to peek into his office, he hasn't shut the door, so I can see everything but that just hurts me more.
After just a few moments, I see Ichiru walking over to my office with this woman.
"Brenda, I would like you to meet my girlfriend and mother of my twins," Ichiru says walking into my office.
My heart stops, he is introducing me? Mother of his twins. He is bringing her to me? Not like, when Yuki came here and Zero hid her and ran away to a hotel with her.
"Hello, I just had to meet the woman that stagged My Ichiru," Brenda says.
"Your Ichiru?" I say.
"Yes, me and Ichiru go way back. I never thought he would settle down, little less have children." Brenda answers.
"I always wanted that, I was just waiting for Alexa to want the same with me." Ichiru states.
I just look at him, with this huge relief off my chest. With all these feelings I never thought I would feel towards him ever.
"So you been in love with her for a long time?" Brenda asks.
"For over ten years. She is the love of my life." Ichiru admits.
"Wow, never thought I would hear him say this," Brenda says.
I just smile at Ichiru going over to him, and taking his hand.
"It might have taken me a while to know, but I do now, and I have no intention of letting anyone taking him away from me," I answer.
"I don't think you will have that problem," Brenda replies.
"I don't either, and I have to say its a wonderful feeling," I respond smiling up at him.
I see a different side of her, the way she is smiling at me, the way she is holding my hand. I think this made her realize just how much I do care. See dear brother, I am different from you. I had nothing to hide, no feelings toward Brenda. I wanted to show off my relationship with Alexa even though it's not to the point, where I want it yet. But I still was proud to show it. Where you ran, and hid it, wanting Yuki and only thinking about her, and not what you had.
"
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