Chapter 48: Twins Room.
The next morning is here before I know it, I wake up on the sofa, Ichiru is out cold sleeping in the armchair, as both babies are also sleeping. I think I got maybe an hour's sleep if that, my mind is still racing from everything and can't seem to settle down at all. I feel lost, empty and alone even though I have the twins and even Ichiru. I don't see this as my life, not the one I wanted or planned for.
I know I have to get up and ready for the day, I just don't seem to have any push to. I hate going upstairs to our room, there is just memories that flood my mind taking me back to what we had. What was, not this nightmare I can't seem to wake up from. I get up going into the kitchen to get a glass of water, figuring while I am there I should make the babies their bottles. As I am, I hear Ichiru getting up, coming into the kitchen as well.
"Hey, your up. I hope you got some sleep? The babies were pretty good for it being their first night here." Ichiru says.
"Yea it was ok. I got a little sleep, thank you for staying here to help." I answer.
"Not a problem, We need to go upstairs and see what we are going to do with their room and your daughter's room. There is a bed in the guest room and a twin in ZJ's old room, we can put them together so the girls have their beds?" Ichiru asks.
"That would be fine, whatever you think is best. " I say.
I wasn't really looking forward to doing this, I remember when me and Zero did this the first time, things were different then. I wanted this so much, I had purpose and meaning to get everything done. That wasn't there now.
"I want you to have a say, it will take your mind off of things. You need that right now Alexa. You just have to trust me. Let's get the babies ready and go furniture shopping. We need to get cribs and some things for the babies. I am sure for a few hours we can just let go. We both need to." Ichiru replies.
"It will be a lot to take two babies shopping Ichiru, it may be better if you do this alone. It's your first time, you would probably enjoy it better anyway." I answer.
"I am not letting you get away with this that easy. Your coming with me, I want to do this together. "Ichiru responds.
"Ok, Let me get dressed and feed the babies. Then we will go." I comment, seeing he isn't letting this go.
"Great." He replies.
We get dressed and feed the babies, getting them all ready to go. I remember doing this for my son. Zero and I went out to pick things out, putting the crib together, and he even gave me my ring. Its been a long time, I never thought I would be doing this again, with anyone else. I thought ZJ was my last child, and he was growing up fast. Now here we were starting all over again, this time him not even knowing his real father or all the great things they shared together. Everything we all shared as a family. It just hurts me, it's like it was all just a dream. It all vanished into thin air.
We pack the car and get in Ichiru driving and doing this best to keep things peaceful and nice. He knows everything that took place the first time, as he was there to help with everything. Even being Zero's confidant in things. So he even knew what he thought about things that were taking place. He knew he even better than I ever did. Seeing the real him, the one not hiding to protect my feelings.
We get to a fancy baby store, Ichiru all filled with smiles, taking the babies out of the car as we go inside as a family. I just look around, not really feeling this, but they did need cribs and it was the best to get it over with.
"What do you like?" I ask.
"They are a lot that is very nice. I remember you doing White last time, Did you want to stay with that? Or change off?" Ichiru asks.
"I got to pick this stuff out a few times. I think this time, you should. I would like to see what you like." I reply.
He was being there and trying. Let him pick out a crib. I am not sure if this is going to last or work, but if it did, I wouldn't be giving him any children of his own. So let him be as involved with these as he can be. There wasn't any harm in it either way.
Ichiru goes over to a solid oak crib that turned into a toddler bed then a twin, it was really nice and worked for both babies. He picks out a rocking chair and dressers that match. I see him doing his best to pick out things that he remembers was in the first nursery just in different colors. Picking things I would like, at the same time things that wouldn't always remind me of my past. We go around the store, picking out anything we wanted. We didn't have to worry about money, Zero left me plenty of that.
Ichiru goes up to the salesman telling him everything that we chose. Also taking him to the side to tell him something, but I can't overhear.
"Hey, I have a request. I need this stuff put together and just placed into the room. No putting anything together ourselves. Its why I came here. I also need it delivered today. I will pay extra if need be." Ichiru says.
"Anything you need we will make it happen. It's not a problem. Have the room empty and we will place the items where you need them." The salesmen answers.
"Great, Thank you. I will have everything ready when you get there." Ichiru replies.
We pay for everything and head home, the babies actually sleeping through most of it. It was more pleasant then I thought it would be. Ichiru took control making sure everything was bought and would even be there today.
We go home where I fed the babies, and get us something to eat. Ichiru then goes upstairs clearing out ZJ's room. Doing his best to make it fast. I put the babies to sleep and go help, knowing he needs it and I shouldn't let him do this alone.
"Hey What can I help you with?" I ask.
"You can take his games and things in the basement. They won't need these for a while." Ichiru laughs.
"Yea I guess so. He was ten so not much of the little things left in here. Zero and he redid this room not so long ago together. "I answer.
"I remember. I was thinking we should keep the paint color, and some of the decor for ZJ. It will make Zero be part of this. Something they will have from their father if that is ok with you?" Ichiru asks.
"That would be wonderful. Thank you so much Ichiru, that means so much to me. You have made today, go a lot smoother than I thought it was going to be." I respond.
"I am glad I could. I think we can leave some things, so they have a bit of him around. I know he would like that as well." He answers.
The men come and deliver the furniture, placing the cribs in the room. One side girly, one side boyish. The walls still painted a pale blue, just one the girl side we added some wall stickers to make it more girly. We kept things Zero did for ZJ mostly for his side. Where they painted the planets and leaving the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. It was something special, something that had meaning. Zero was here with us, being part of it. No one would ever understand that but Ichiru.
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