Chapter 8: The Wedding

We leave the hotel and walk out to the parking lot. "Where's the car?" "Right there." I click a key and the lights flash on a white Mazda RX-7 Spirit R with a Rocket Bunny fender kit, Killagram wing, BBS Turbofan rims up front, and American Racing Outlaw II rims in the back. Under the hood is a quad turbocharged 4 rotor engine taken from a drag racer. "Where's the Cosmo?" "On a boat back home. Figured that you might want something quiet for the ride here last night, so I had that shipped over for us. For the rest of the trip, we'll be taking my car." "I thought you owned all your cars." "I do. But this was the first car that I built. I have put so much money and labor into this car that it has nearly become a part of me. I had it shipped over with the Cosmo for us to drive around." I open the door for Angela and put James in the back seat before taking my place in the driver's seat. "Ready?" "I think so." I hand her a pair of ear muffs. "Will you put these on James please?" She reaches back and strapps the earmuffs over James' ears. "Now you might want to plug yours." I flip a few switches and push the start button, firing up the car with a deafening roar. I put the car in gear and fly out of the parking lot, a trail of smoke behind me. "Whaddya think? Pretty cool huh?" "Y-ye-yea, cool." A few minutes later we pull off the road and park in a small square. I help Angela and James out of the car before turning around to see my mother jogging toward us, my father slightly behind. I quickly hand James off to Angela as my mother tackles me in a hug. "Ooooooh Richie it's so good to see you again!" "G-good t-to see y-you too mom. Also you're strangling me." "Oh, sorry dear." She released me from her grasp and stands me back up. She turns to Angela, "And you must be the lovely bride! I've heard so much about you." Angela extends her hand. "Nice to finally meet you ma'am." "Oh don't bother with that handshake BS. You're a Senna now. C'mere!" My mother proceeds to wrap Angela in a tight hug as my father approaches us. "Joe, lets maybe not strangle our son's future wife?" "Right, sorry dear. It's all just so exciting!" "Right. So Angela, these are my parents. Joeliene and Maddox. You two, this is Angela Melacine." "Please to meet you." Said my father with an outstretched hand. Angela takes it gingerly. "I believe you have already met my wife." He gestures over to Joeliene, a petite but well built arctic fox with ash gray fur. My father is a large and burly marbled fox with harsh features, but a caring smile. I turn to Angela and give her one last kiss. "I guess I'll see you later. Have fun you too." "Oh trust me, we will." Angela mouths to me, "Help me." I mouth back. "You're fine." as my mother drags her off to a Rolls Royce limo that she arrived in. The chauffeur opens the door for both of them to get in. "Ooo I'm so excited for today! I always knew Richie would find someone. So dear, tell me a bit about yourself." "Actually, I don't like describing my past. It can get a little touchy." "That's quite alright dear, I won't press." So, what exactly are we doing today?" "First we're going to get a spa treatment, have your fur trimmed, then claws done, hair done, and dress fitted." "Wow, that's a lot for one day." "Yup, but nevermind that, we're here!" The limo rolls into the parking lot of a large spa and the both of them get out. Meanwhile, back at the square, "Nice car kid." "Thanks. It took quite a long time to build up." "Mind if I take the wheel?" "Uhhhh, I guess not, just be careful, she can be a bit touchy." "Oh relax. You act like I've never driven before." "Well I don't think you've driven anything with 2200 horsepower." "2200! What the hell is running this thing?!" "I'll show you." I unlatch and open the reverse open hood, letting the massive 4 rotor engine bask in the morning sun. "Wow. What is that?" "That, is a quad turbocharged 4 rotor Wankel rotary engine. Still want to drive?" "Maybe I'll watch you first." "I like that idea." We pile into the car and set off, slowly at first, but when we merge onto the highway, I set the turbos to full boost and open the taps. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" I look over at my father, who is pressed into his seat, a terrified expression on his face. "Having fun?" He just stares at me eyes wide. "I'll take that as a maybe." As the day goes on, the wedding approaches, and with the bachelor party over, my father and I get suited up for the ceremony. "Seriously, a top hat?" "Yes. What's wrong with a top hat?" "It makes you look like an off balance rectangle." "Wha- you know what, nevermind." I get into the white suit, sweating with anxiety at the closeness of what's about to happen. Meanwhile, across town, Joeliene is currently helping Angela get into her dress. "Oh my. Its beautiful dear." "You really think so?" "I know so. I wish I had a dress like this at my wedding." Joeliene hands Angela a bouquet of flowers as they climb into the limo that will take them to the wedding. Just a short while later I find myself standing on the altar, sweating like a leaky tap and going over lines in my head. All of a sudden, the organist begins to play, a from around the corner, I see my mother, holding James as she throws flowers around them. Then, like an angel descended from heaven, comes Angela, escorted by my father. She arrives at the altar and looks me in the eyes, mouthing the words, "You ready?" "Absolutely" "Good" "Not" She rolls her eyes and smiles as the officiant begins to speak. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of this fox, and this wolf. Now, if I may, ask the couple to exchange their vows, which are the promises they will swear here to keep to each other till their demise. Will the groom please begin?" "Um, well, here goes nothing." I take Angela's hand. "An old myth states that man and woman were separated, because the God's were frightened of how strong we were together. Men and women then were left to search their lives for the halves they lost. You, Angela, are my other half. Let the Gods be afraid, for not even they can keep us apart." "Wow." I see Angela start to tear up. "That was really beautiful. All I have say is that you're the first mate to my ship, Captain. The Smee to my Captain Hook." I laugh a bit and look at her. "Well it's enough for me." "Now hold on one minute, I never said I was done. Richard, you sly, sexy, irritable bastard you, I love you. I have to sit down and catch my breath every time I even think about the fact that I am marrying you. My true love, and my best friend. I want us to grow old and crusty together. To shake our collective fists at teenagers and talk endlessly about the old days, when things were cheaper and generally more wholesome. I want to take the garbage out holding your hand, even in the freezing cold rain, and I promise to love you till the end of time, even if that means literally waiting till the end of time. I vow to be your loyal first mate Captain. And you know what? You and I just work together, and I just love the way you always manage to finish my…. My…. sentences. Its sentences Richard. Point is, Richard, I love you, through time, space and even the unknown that we eventually will run into, I love you." The officiant looks at Angela, then back at me. "Are we done here? Good. Now, may I ask that the rings be brought forward?" My mother gets up with James, holding a pillow with two wedding rings sat neatly upon it. We pick up the rings and place them on each other's fingers. "Now, do you, Angela Pattermore Melacine, take this fox to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love him in sickness, and in health, in poorness and in wealth, till death or a massive laser do you part?" "Wait, laser? Really?" "Yup." She turns to the officiant, " Absolutely I do." The officiant turns to me. "And do you, Richard Wyrmroost Senna, take this wolf to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, till death or a global apocalypse created by an ineradicable plague do you part?" "I do." "Then without further ado, by the power vested in me by a twenty minute internet survey, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." "Aye aye captain." I smother Angela in a full face lick before kissing her stunned face. "Let's go join the party." The both of us walk back down the aisle and over to the dance floor. I cue the DJ and he promptly puts I Will Survive on full volume. Angela grabs my hand. "Seriously Richard?" "Yup." She kisses me on the cheek before the both of us launch into a disco and cake fueled foxtrot to end all foxtrots. Alongside the other guests we continue to dance to songs like Dance Dance Dance, Macarena, Rasputin, Lone Digger, etc. Finally, the end of the night comes, and so does the wedding song. The guests clear the floor as I swing Angela around to Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon. When the song is finished, Angela looks at me. "I knew I shouldn't have let you pick the wedding song." "Oh come on, you know you loved it." "Do I know that? Yes, yes I do." "Now, we can either stay here with my Uncle Robert at the bar, or start the honeymoon." "Ooo, where's the honeymoon?" "In a place that was named after overpriced water." "Wait, where is Dasani?" "Located on a shelf right next to Fiji." "Wait, are you taking my to FIJI!?!?!?!?!?!" "Do you want to go to Fiji?" "FUCK YEA I DO!!!!!!" "Good because I've already chartered a plane and I don't think it would be much fun at home." "Where's the car?" I throw her the keys to the RX-7 and watch her run off. Meanwhile, I walk over to my parents. "Thank you for taking James. I'm sure he wanted some Grandma and Grandpa time." "Oh it's our pleasure dear. Now go have some fun." My mother winks at me and hands me a small foil package. "You might want this too, although I'm not opposed to more grandkids." "Uhh, thanks mom." I take the condom from her and chase after Angela.