Chapter 59: Intermission: Just Another Normal Quest (Part 6)
"Regina...she is skewered...but still alive?"
"Yes. Can either of you heal her if I remove her from it?"
"..."
"..."
I had just pulled Baucus and Rigrit Emerldon to the mouth of the cave. I had sent away my other minions to hide beforehand, so I didn't reveal them to these two. The only one I had left with me was Tarman since he was human.
I didn't know what to do about Regina Pentagrew, the maid who I found skewered but alive in the last room. I had wanted to remove her from it, but I realized if I removed her she would probably bleed out. In the end I was indecisive and...left her to suffer there as I tried to figure things out. I am the worst.
None of my skills were suited to helping others, so I hoped that Baucus or Rigrit had the healing magic that I heard about from Brianna. Unfortunately life continued to be cruel.
"I-I'm sorry...healing magic is rare outside believers of Mara. Unfortunately we are believers in Valkor..."
"I see...stay here, I will be back. Tarman, watch them."
"Huh? Where are you going? Hey!"
Without replying I turned around and headed back into the darkness all while trying to suppress the guilt that was building in my heart.
**********
"I'm sorry...please...please forgive me. If I remove you from this we can't heal you. Even if you don't die immediately, it is a long trip to town...I'm sorry."
I had said this toward Regina, but it felt more like I was trying to persuade myself. She was still conscious, every moment I wasted trying to make myself feel better she was suffering. Even now I continue to torture her with my cowardice.
I could see tears rolling down her face from her eyes that were barely open. She was scared, she was in pain, and I...was the only solution. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬...𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I told myself I had made the resolve to survive in this world and kill if needed, but here I was shaking like a leaf in the wind. 𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘋𝘖 𝘐𝘛. 𝘚𝘈𝘝𝘌 𝘏𝘌𝘙! I gripped my scythe tight, pushed back the loud voice in my head telling me this wasn't right, and swung while repeating the same words over and over.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."
Today I think I learned a new lesson. Saving someone...doesn't always mean you save their life.
**********
"Here is your reward. I must say, you have surprised me once again. I never expected you to be able to find them and...are you alright?"
"Huh? Oh. Yes. Fine."
"I see...if you ever want to talk, you know you can talk to me right?"
"Mmn."
"Goblins...they are brutal aren't they? So weak compared to other monsters, but they make up for it in their cruelty. I should have tried harder to talk you out-"
"It...was my choice. Thank you."
I immediately turned around and headed for the guild entrance. I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. Every time I talked about it, the images became more vivid, and I felt like my heart was about to collapse. I knew that Brianna meant well, but I was having a hard time holding it together. The adrenaline during the quest and the return journey had kept me going, but after I had parted from the siblings it felt like all my emotions crashed down on me at once. I had left so abruptly that I missed the worried look on Brianna's face as I left.
**********
"Give me something strong."
"What kinda coin ya got?"
I threw down a gold coin onto the counter.
"Alright. One moment."
I had planned to go back to the cottage, but I didn't think I could go home like this. I needed to keep up the appearance of a reliable adult for Fiona, so I ended up going to a tavern in town to try and drink some of my thoughts away.
"Here. This is Dwarven Fire Mead. Be careful though it-"
Before the man could even finish his words I had downed the cup in front me. I felt a warm feeling in my chest and stomach. It felt...a little better, but it still wasn't enough.
"Another."
"Wait you'll probably want to give it-"
"Another."
"Oy. Alright, but don't blame me when you're throwing up chunks."
**********
What time was it? I had started drinking when there was still light out, but now it was pretty dark. I had made it back to the cottage. The door...was a tricky foe.
"Fuck! Open sesame you son of a-"
Before I could finish my words the door swung open and I saw Fiona standing there with an annoyed look on her face.
"Hey, I knew you were a monster, but I thought you could at least open doors. Also, you reek of alcohol."
"Yup...and I'm not a monster"
I mumbled those words under my breath as I pushed her aside and stumbled into the cottage. Even though my words were low, she seemed to hear it. As I collapsed on the couch she started, it seems my current attitude and demeanor, mixed with her normal hatred of me was too much to allow her to keep her normal silence.
"You said you'd be back as soon as possible, but you drank until you're like this after you got back. You say you aren't a monster, but I've seen what you really are. You love to kill. I saw it with my own eyes. You gleefully murdered anything moving at the ruins. I bet you wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone as long as-"
"I AM NOT A MONSTER!"
For some reason I shouted those words. Maybe it was due to the alcohol, maybe it was my unrelenting guilt, maybe it was the constant visions I kept having of the things I saw, or maybe it was everything combined. All I knew was that those words came out of me like a thunderous roar.
Fiona immediately jolted back and ran behind Taleena who was standing nearby. I really should have stopped there, but I couldn't stop. The flood gates had been open.
"IF I WAS SUCH A MONSTER I WOULD OF KILLED YOU ALREADY! IF ANYTHING I AM A SAINT FOR NOT HAVING MURDERED SOMEONE WHO KEEPS SAYING THE SHIT YOU DO!"
Fiona's face paled as she stared at me from behind Taleena. She was scared, but for some reason I didn't really care right now.
"I RISKED MY LIFE TO SAVE YOU! I WORK THESE AWFUL FUCKEN GOD FORSAKEN JOBS TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!"
"WH-WHO ASKED YOU TO?!?"
Apparently her fear was not enough to stifle her indignant reply.
"WHO?!? HER!"
I pointed at Taleena.
"IF IT WEREN'T FOR HER, I WOULD OF LEFT YOU THERE!"
"F-FINE! IF I AM SUCH A BURDEN THEN I'LL LEAVE!"
"GO!"
Fiona stormed toward the door of the cottage and then turned around.
"Come with me mother!"
"Oh you don't get to take her with you. You get to go out on your own. Just like you want."
"You...you...you...MONSTER!"
She left the cottage and slammed the door behind her. After a few moments I started to calm down. I started thinking about what I had just said.
"Fuck...I seriously fucked up..."
I ordered some of my minions in the woods to protect her. I had wanted to go after her, but after what had just happened I didn't think she would listen.
"Fuck...fuck...FUCK!!! What...what do I do? Please...help me. Please..."
I directed these pleas to the silently standing Taleena as I cradled my head in my hands. Tears started streaming down my face. It was like all the bravado I just had was a lie...because it was.
"I don't know what to do. Please...say anything!"
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone