Chapter 17: XVI
Bzzzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzzzzt!
Issei lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. Today had been absolutely crazy. I wonder if I would have even gotten up, let alone ran out in the rain if I had known how this would all end up? Bzzzzzzzzzt! Well, maybe it's better this way, a lot of things were resolved that left unchecked might have grown out of hand.
Bzzzzzzzzzt!
"Alright! Can't I even have one moment to gather my thoughts!" I gotta turn off that stupid notification reminder! He rolled onto his side and stretched out his arm as far as it would reach. His fingertips just barely reached his vibrating phone. He tried desperately to drag it toward him, but after a valiant effort succeeded only in batting it off the nightstand onto the floor.
Cursing under his breath, he rolled over twice and reached out to the floor but snatched his hand back just in time to regain his balance and prevent himself from rolling off the bed onto the floor. His heart thumped a mile a minute as though he had almost plummeted into a bottomless chasm. He sighed and snatched the phone from the floor rolling back to the safety of the middle of the bed. "This had better be important." He mumbled aloud.
He swiped open the lock screen and typed the pin 1299. So easy to remember. Akeno's bust measurement is 102 cm, Rias' is 99. Take out the 0 to make a 4-digit pin and….. The phone made a little snapping noise and unlocked. "How do I know those measurements?" He asked himself mockingly. "I'll never telllllll."
Incoming text from Koneko: "Honest_Questions.mp3 'I'm so sorry, onii-sama. 2nd verse says it better than I can.' And a frowning kitty emoticon."
Hmm. Issei tapped the mp3 which opened almost immediately and listened.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEDZDE7ftj8 - If you'd like to hear it)
The song gave the impression of a fragile soul baring itself against the elements. As he listened, several lines jumped out at him.
"Can you see
Honest questions in my heart this hour
Opening like a flower
To the rain?
And do you know the silent sorrow
Of a never ending journey
Through the pain?"
Sometimes it's so hard to say what you're feeling…Issei thought. And you're afraid what the reaction will be to it. It feels like every day is painful, and all you do is hold it in to protect those who would worry and to protect yourself from those who wouldn't understand. Oh here comes the second verse. The one she wanted me to pay attention to…
Do you know
The story from the start?
And do you know me
Like you've always told me?
Do you see
The whispers in my heart against your kindness
My eternal blindness
Do you see?
Oh, Koneko-chan. Are you still beating yourself up over this? It was a mistake… Akeno misled you, and you were afraid. She must have just finished talking to you. You have to forgive yourself and let this go… I see something that you don't…Your heart isn't evil because you doubted me.
Do you see a brighter day for me?
Another day?
A day?
Do you wonder what's in store for me?
The cure for me?
The way?
Oh look down see the tears I've cried
Lives I've lived
The deaths I've died
You died them too
And all for me
Yes, I do. Things will get better from here. And eventually, I hope you'll be happy knowing this family loves you. I love you. I'll do my best to watch over you like a big brother should. I see your tears; I know you're sorry. And when you hurt; I hurt with you… Just like the song says.
What's that song…what's that song…? Issei quickly pulled up Google Chrome and googled the opening lines… "Yes! That's the one!" He searched for it in his music library and sent it off to her with a short message triple checking and fixing a number of unhelpful autocorrections.
***
Once Akeno had gone. Koneko sat on her bed. Her eyes were closed, her soft lips curved in a depressed frown. Guilt consumed her as Akeno's words echoed in mocking tones across her mind. "Forget everything I suggested to you. None of it is true. I'm quite sure now that everything I told you yesterday was false." Poor Issei-sama. I made him suffer for nothing. All of Akeno's assumptions were wrong. Issei didn't do anything to me, and I was so quick to make him a villain. I was so quick to betray him. How can I think he's bad when I'm the one acting like the villain?
Beep-beep. Beep. Beep-beep. Beep.
Koneko snatched her phone from her lap anxious to see Issei's reply. He won't think I'm childish to use music to explain myself, right? Did he get what I meant?
Incoming text from Issei: "Dig.mp3 'I meant it when I said I forgive you. I won't let it come between us. Vs 1, end of vs 2, chorus' And a winking emoticon."
Her eyes grew wide. He sent me a—! She hit the mp3 so hard the phone nearly shattered in her hands. She waited anxiously as the song began to play.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMsZ6wkZWhA - If you'd like to hear it)
We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Mine sure is…Issei seems to be strong all the time though…
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
Oh, Issei-sama. How do you always know exactly what to say…? A single grateful tear rolled down her right cheek. I'm already forgiven, huh? And we don't have to talk about it anymore, because we're friends…
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
She chuckled. Literally. He came and admitted he had the same struggle with fear that I did, but when I forgave him, he trusted that I meant it, and I'd respect him just like I did the him from the day before. Nailed that one.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
This part's not about him. It's to reassure me. She realized thoughtfully. He sees me as a good girl, and if I mess up; he'll find the true me underneath all the mistakes. He'll stick by me, and we can trust each other even if that's all we have… End of verse two coming up…
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
Ha! Cause my song asked "Do you wonder what's in store for me, the cure for me?" He'll be the medicine to cure me. Wonder if he means himself… or spankings… she swallowed anxiously.
She listened to the whole song again smiling then assigned it to him as a ringtone. She glanced at the clock eight fifty-seven, and flopped back onto her bed. An hour still. Beep-beep. Beep. Beep-beep. Be— She opened the text.
Incoming text from Issei: "Wanna talk?"
She quickly tapped out: "I'm ok now. Ty 4 understanding."
Incoming text from Issei: "If ur sure. I'm gonna go 4 a walk in the grounds bhind the house. Feel free 2 join me if u like."
Hm. He's going for a walk at nine O'clock? That's kinda weird. Maybe he just needs to be alone and think for a bit… Well he asked me to join him. Well maybe he was just offering because that song I sent him is a little emo… or maybe not. He's always honest with me. She tossed her phone onto the nightstand, pulled open her dresser drawer and selected a pair of short pajama shorts sky blue with fancy cursive Zzz's in white scattered across them. She pulled them on, stepped into a pair of flip-flops and shoved her phone into her pocket as she rushed out her bedroom door.
When she reached the back porch, Issei was leaning against the railing typing on his phone.
"We all have a weakness…!" Koneko scrambled to silence her phone as the ringtone blared in her pocket.
Issei's head whipped around at the sound. He grinned when he recognized the lyrics and waved to a scarlet-cheeked Koneko to join him.
Koneko slipped her phone back into her pocket and hurried over to meet him.
"Isn't it amazing how sometimes you can't put what you're feeling into words… and then you hear a song…and it just captures it perfectly?"
A natural smile curved her lips. "I know exactly what you mean."
"That's one of my favorite songs, ya know?" he told her.
Her smile increased slightly. "I never heard it before… but I like it."
"It makes me feel more relaxed. Reminds me that everyone makes mistakes, but that's not what's important. It's important that we remember who they really are, and that our bonds are strong enough to survive them. You gotta stick by the people you love even when they mess up. After all, you're gonna pray they do the same for you when it's your turn to screw up." He chuckled.
Koneko nodded her tender smile twinkling in her eyes.
"I see you didn't walk very far." She pointed out.
He winked. "You caught me. I hung around a bit hoping you'd change your mind."
"I'm glad I did."
Issei rested a hand on her shoulder. "C'mon, there's something we need to do. We can talk on the way."
Koneko stretched her arms as high as she could and let out a cute little yawn. She blinked and smiled stepping onto the ground following Issei as he headed toward the back gate. When she caught up with him, she asked, "So what did you think of my song?"
"Wanna call my phone and see?" He asked.
Her eyes widened, "You didn't!" She reached into her hip pocket.
Issei placed his hand on hers to stop her. She blushed and looked up.
"No, I didn't. I was just joking." He admitted.
"Oh." She blushed and frowned slightly feeling childish. She let her hand fall to her side, but to her surprise Issei's fell with it.
"It's just that it's too quiet. I'd never hear your call if I used it." He shrugged apologetically.
"That's true, I didn't think about that."
She seems in better spirits. Was that mean? I was just joking a bit. He squeezed her hand warmly and smiled when their eyes met. "I thought it was very you." He told her. When she looked up confused, he explained, "The you deep down. I mean. Like, here's the thing, you're very good at covering up your emotions and ignoring insults and teasing. You're strong and for the most part go with the flow. But I think some of that is for show."
She raised an eyebrow. "For show?"
"Mhm." He agreed with himself. "Maybe that isn't the right word… it's more like a defense mechanism. It's easier to play off emotionless, than to let it show and have to worry about how people will react. Will they feel bad? Will they think you're weak? Will they make fun of you? If you don't react, they've got nothing to go on, and you don't have to worry."
"Hm." Koneko thought aloud. "I never really thought about it. Sometimes it's hard to ignore everything, but I don't wanna worry Rias-sama. I'll be okay, but she doesn't need anything more on her plate."
"Yup." Issei agreed. "That's very you."
Koneko glanced up at him as he closed the gate behind them and stepped into a slightly more woodsy area. He's not trying to get a reaction, just speaking his mind. Hmm.
"But underneath all of that strength you show for her and for yourself, I think your heart is a little more fragile. You're afraid to share your inner thoughts because someone might trample them. And you're afraid to look foolish too. You want Rias-sama to see you as a grown up."
"Well, she does kinda treat me like a kid…" Koneko replied sheepishly.
"A bit." He acknowledged. "The thing is she doesn't want you to ever doubt that you'll always have her to rely on."
"I know." She agreed confidently.
Issei smiled. "I think being wrong about me, makes you doubt yourself too. Do you think those 'whispers in your heart' are evil? Selfish?"
Koneko bowed her head ashamed. "Y—!"
"No!" Issei cut her off startling her. "You wanted to protect Rias-sama. You wanted to protect yourself. That's not wrong! Maybe I haven't been the best role-model, and thanks to that you had more reason to believe Akeno than you did me. I don't blame you for that. Akeno can be very convincing when she wants to be."
Koneko giggled.
"Hm?" he asked.
"She said the same thing about you."
"Heh." Issei huffed. "I suppose I do have a little sway"
"Sore bottoms are pretty convincing." Koneko replied a little sarcastically.
Issei stared at her in surprise.
Koneko looked up, analyzed his face, and realized she must have said that out loud. Her face turned crimson. "Sorry, I…I—!" She stuttered anxiously, but Issei laughed. He tried to stop, but couldn't and was soon out of breath.
When he finally recovered, Koneko was giggling as well. "I guess you've got me there!" he quipped.
"I didn't mean to say that out loud." She said embarrassed.
"It's a fair point!" He paused looking around. The sun was quickly sinking out of sight, but he knew where he was going. "But at least you had good intentions. She…" He shook his head.
"What do you—?" Koneko started to ask but stopped short. I feel like Issei thinks I know something I don't…but I'm supposed to. Was Akeno supposed to tell me some… oh my god! What if it wasn't an accident! But why would she…
"Ah, here we are. This'll do."
"What?" Koneko asked. "What were you looking for?" she decided to tuck that thought away until ten O'clock when Issei would deal with it.
"Willow." Issei answered seriously.
"Why?"
"I need your help with this." He pulled a jackknife from his pocket and handed it to her.
Koneko took it and pulled open the blade then closed it and slipped it into her pocket. "What do you want me to do?" she asked curiously.
"Choose a branch. A long one, still green, that starts a little thicker and ends nice and thin but still looks durable."
Koneko's eyebrows raised in confusion. "Uh… okay." She moved her head back and forth looking for something matching his description. "I'm too short." She whined. "Did you choose the only willow in the world that grew straight up and has no low branches?"
Chuckling, Issei reached under her arms and lifted her like a child.
"Eeee!" Koneko squealed as she was lifted into the air and set on his shoulders. "You could have warned me!" she huffed, but that only made him laugh harder. "You forgot to bring a flash light; how are we supposed to see?"
"I didn't forget. I had you in mind for this job before I started." He explained still smiling.
"What do you mean?" she looked confused.
"You can see in the dark." He reminded her.
"I can…oh!" she glared. "You should have said something earlier! Put me down!"
"No, go ahead. I'll wait."
"But I have to take my shorts off!" she cried shrilly.
"What? Why?"
"Cause… cause my tail will get all scrunched." She explained pouting.
"Well, you've got something on underneath right?" he asked exasperated.
"O-of course!" she swatted the top of his head.
"Ow, hey! Just for that, I'm not letting you down. Go ahead and take them off!"
"But…but!"
"Nope." He cut her off impudently.
"Ugh!" she exclaimed annoyed. "Fine!" She grabbed hold of the willow tree and stood up on Issei's shoulders. She pulled her shorts down one side at a time with her free hand and stepped out of them. "Don't you dare look!" she warned.
Issei struggled not to laugh so he could stand steadily. "It's not like I haven't seen it before." He reminded her.
"Tha-that's different! Agh!" she shot back losing her balance and falling forward.
Issei caught her under her knees and back.
Blushing and pouting, Koneko stared up at him. Her cat ears twitched and her tail peeking out from the top of her panties pointed straight out fur on end.
"I've got you! Don't worry!" Issei assured her.
"Ugh, just let me finish what I was doing." She retorted in a mildly embarrassed and somewhat bratty tone. She climbed back up on his shoulders.
"Don't you want your shorts?" He asked holding them up to her.
She rolled her eyes. "Like you said, nothing you haven't seen before." Her keen feline eyes easily picked out every detail of the tree even in the dark. She selected a long thin branch and shook it. It sprung back and forth, but didn't break. It grew thicker as it got closer to the trunk, and the end was thinner, but not so thin it would snap. "I found one like you wanted." She called pleased.
"Good, here's the knife." He had taken it out of her shorts pocket and held it up to her. "Cut it down. And then I'll let you down."
Koneko obediently sawed at the live branch until she was nearly through. Then she bent the end back and forth until it snapped free. "Okay, I got it." She announced.
Issei reached up offering his hand for balance.
Koneko closed the knife and handed it to him.
Issei quickly pocketed it, and took her hand squatting low so she could slip off his shoulder to the ground. "Lemme see?" he asked.
She handed him the branch. He wiggled the ends up and down testing its springiness and durability. "Perfect!" he announced.
Koneko beamed pleased.
He handed it back to her with the knife. "Can you cut off the twigs and the little buds near the end?"
Frowning curiously, Koneko began to follow his instructions.
"Do a good job, make sure it's as smooth as you can get it." He instructed.
Koneko, nodded increasing her focus on the task. She wanted him to praise her again. Her boosted senses helped her to see and feel even the slightest height differences and smooth them out with the blade. It took several minutes, but when she was finally sure it was perfect, she handed it to him with a smile.
Issei curled his pointer finger around the thick end and drew it from one end to the other. Not a single twig or bud or even raised ridge remained anywhere on the branch. It felt as though it had grown smooth and bare. His eyes widened as he turned back to Koneko impressed. "Wow! Well done, nee-chan! It's perfect!"
"Nyan!" she replied happily.
Issei glanced at his phone. "nine forty, okay plenty of time, but let's head back."
Koneko nodded once and followed nearly walking into Issei who had stopped.
"Nii-sama?" She asked.
"Oh, would you lead the way? Your eyes are better for this than mine."
Koneko smiled, took his hand, and headed down the path. It felt good to have him rely on her even for something simple. He trusts me. She realized.
Every few steps, he swung the branch quickly through the air. It made a harsh whirring sound each time, and finally Koneko understood what the purpose of the walk had been.
"Th-that's for Akeno-sempai…?" She asked very quietly. "Isn't it?"
Issei winked at her. "Well it's not for you!"
"I…I knew that!" she cried a little too shrilly.
Issei smothered a chuckle noting that Koneko's left hand slipped behind her and lightly rubbed her panty-covered rear.
After a few minutes of walking, Issei broke the silence. "Koneko-chan…I know we've had our differences." He began.
Koneko glanced up at him for a moment, but didn't feel a need to confirm the obvious.
"And more recently, our relationship has changed." He added. "But I feel closer to you now. And… that's good, right?"
Koneko nodded wondering where he was going with this.
"Well, you see..." He groaned frustrated at his own awkwardness. "Ugh. Ya know, I'm no good at this. Saying the right things at the right time. So I'll just say it straight out. Bear with me, if it's less than perfect."
She smiled a little. "It's better to just be honest anyways…" she blushed a little not finishing the sentence. "Isn't that what you taught me?"
Issei agreed gratefully. "Listen, I don't want our relationship to be just about me punishing you if you make mistakes." Both their cheeks turned pink. "I want a lot more actually." He stopped and turned to face her.
Koneko came to a stop as well. Her tail flicked back and forth anxiously as she met his eyes questioningly.
"I want to be someone you can come to with questions about…about anything. I want to hear about your dreams and your goals, and I want to see who you are. I want to learn about what you like and what you don't like. I want to discuss your thoughts about important things…. And about things that don't matter. Who are you? I want you to teach me about yourself. So I can be a better big brother to you. So I can be someone who's good for you. So I can be… someone worthy of your trust…"
Issei trailed off feeling a bit foolish for being so emotional. I've gone and made a big deal out of this. I meant what I said, but I didn't want to push her too far too fast. Too much pressure might make her step back reflexively…
Koneko was touched by his speech. He really cares about me… He's not just putting up with me, or punishing me as a chore or something. He said he wants to get to know me. "You want to earn my trust?" She asked incredulous.
Issei nodded seriously.
"Don't be ridiculous! It's me who needs to earn back your trust! I blew it…big time." He started to interrupt, but she cut across him. "When you agreed to…" She breathed in and out. "…spank me instead of throwing me out. I realized you were a good person. You couldn't be what Akeno was afraid you were. You didn't give up on me like you should've." She sighed. "When you went to the trouble of talking everything out with me even though I know you must have been so mad at me… I knew…, or maybe I remembered…that you've never tried to hurt me. Just like you said before.
"Issei-onii-sama… you already have my trust. I'm sorry I broke yours." Her ears lowered. "Really…really sorry."
Issei was beaming. "I forgave you," he reminded her. "And I punished you. Thoroughly. You don't need to carry that weight anymore." He rested his hand on her shoulder. "I mean it. You recognized your mistake. You made it right by apologizing and accepting the consequences. You and me… we're good again." He squeezed her shoulder gently. "Really. I want you to forgive yourself for this."
Koneko bowed humbly. She tried to thank him, but her words caught in her throat, and she feared that she would start crying uncontrollably if she managed to choke the words out. Issei-onii-sama… this is the real you that Rias loves. I'm so lucky to have someone like you care about me. Unable to speak, she reached up to the hand on her shoulder and gently guided it to her heart. She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand lightly.
When their eyes met again, there was a new intimacy between them: a trust and a vulnerability had been unlocked. Hand in hand they stepped up to the back porch, entered through the back door, and headed toward Issei's room.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone