Chapter 9: VIII
Issei sprinted off down the hall in search of Koneko. How could I be so blind! He scolded himself. He turned the corner and dodged right just barely avoiding a head on collision with Asia.
"S-sorry!" She called a little tremulously.
Issei skidded to a stop. "It's okay; it's my fault; I should watch where I'm going." He admitted.
Asia seemed oddly relieved but smiled.
"Have you seen Koneko?" he asked urgently.
Asia blushed and shook her head quickly, then stuttered out that she had to go finish something and hurried off.
Hm, strange. Issei inwardly shrugged, but headed for Koneko's room. He knocked, but there was no answer. "Koneko-chan?" He called. Still nothing. "I'm coming in!" He announced, turning the handle slowly.
When he pulled the door open, he found the room empty. As he turned to leave, the corner of his eye caught a flash of white on her nightstand. He turned back to it and found a small book with hand-written entries lying open on the table-top. I can't read it; it wouldn't be right. I can't invade her privacy. The temptation was powerful, but he fought it. He glanced back at the door, no one. Biting his lip, he glanced back down at the diary then resolutely shook his head. Can't do it. I'm the big brother now. His eye caught his name written in the last paragraph.
Ugh… why did I have to see that? He reached out a shaking hand to the diary, then snatched it back. Am I really going to read her private thoughts after punishing her for sharing my secrets and being dishonest? What is wrong with me? He reached up to the still smarting handprint on his right cheek; then deliberately walked to the door just as Koneko rounded the hall's corner and caught sight of him.
"Nii-sama?" She asked.
Issei's cheeks colored as their eyes met. He noted that she had changed back to human form. "Hey! I was looking for you. Sorry, I went into your room without permission; I wasn't sure if you heard me knock or if you were even in there."
"It's okay," she said preoccupied stepping passed him into her room. She walked straight toward the nightstand and froze suddenly. Her eyes darted from the open diary to Issei. She gulped; her face turned blood red and her eyes shown with both fear and embarrassment.
"I—the things I wr-write in there—" She began in a petrified tone.
"I didn't read it." Issei cut her off, so glad now that he had willed himself not to.
Hope sprung into Koneko's panicked eyes. She looked him up and down for a moment studying his face. Probably trying to decide if she believes me. She sighed in relief suddenly. "You wouldn't lie to me." She acknowledged simply and smiled gratefully. "Thank you… for not… sometimes I write things I don't really mean… and… they could be taken the wrong way—I…."
Issei smiled sympathetically. "No need to explain yourself. Your private thoughts are yours alone."
Koneko nodded gratefully.
"I won't say that I wasn't tempted." Issei admitted. "But I can't demand honesty of you, if I won't be honest myself."
Koneko nodded again seriously as if that were some sort of contract. She quickly closed the diary and glanced at the drawer she normally locked it in, but decided it was unnecessary and left it in plain sight. She dropped onto her bed, yawned, and turned back to Issei. "What did you need me for?" She asked tiredly.
"Oh, I just need to talk to you about something. It's kind of important though."
"Oh." A flicker of anxiety crossed her eyes, but then disappeared. I haven't done anything bad. She assured herself. Nii-sama doesn't want me to be afraid of him. She recalled.
She sat up and crossed her legs under her.
"What is it?" she asked.
Issei closed the door quietly then strode toward the bed stopping several feet from her. She motioned to the chair by her desk. Issei shook his head, but offered her a grateful smile.
"I finally noticed something obvious that should have been… well obvious from the start. I did something wrong… and I think that might have led you to doing something wrong too."
Koneko frowned confused. A mixture of curiosity and fear rose within her. If she did something wrong, would she be punished again? How could it be Issei's fault though? Why can't I think of anything bad that I did? She sat quietly, trying to piece it together. "I wish you had just come and talked to me." That's what he said last time.
"I don't know what we're talking about, Nii-sama… Am I in trouble?" she asked a hint of fear in her tone.
Issei clapped a hand to his forehead. Of course she would worry about that. He shook his head emphatically.
"No, dear, you've been a good girl since this morning as far as I know." He reassured her.
Koneko blew out a relieved sigh and smiled. "Good! Okay then, please, explain a little. I don't understand."
Issei nodded quickly mostly to himself. "Listen, the other day when we talked about my fears, the reason why your insults were so damaging to me and all that…" He waved his hand in a circle metaphorically referring to the entire conversation. "I told you that I was afraid that maybe Akeno and Rias didn't really care about me. You understood that that was a fear and not what I really thought, but still I couldn't get it out of my head."
Koneko nodded a little ashamed still at the way she had twisted those fears during her argument with Rias-sama.
"Well, I took your advice. I told Rias-sama about all of that. My fears, how I can't seem to get over what Amana did to me… everything."
Koneko beamed. "What did she say?" she asked excitedly.
Issei reached up to the red hand-print on his cheek. Koneko pursed her lips.
"She slapped me." He laughed.
"That…that's cruel!" Koneko angrily remarked. "I didn't think she wouldn't even listen to you!" Her tone dropped and she quietly apologized, "Sorry I told you to do that!" Her hands clenched into fists as anger simmered within her.
Issei waved his hand toward her, "Calm down, nee-chan, I appreciate your wanting to stand up for me, but… she had every right to hit me."
Koneko looked at him as though he were crazy, but she did cool a bit.
"The thing is: Rias isn't Yuuma. I was holding back my full trust in Rias because of what Yuuma did. But that isn't fair to Rias. Rias has always been good to me. She's always tried to help me. She even saved me from Yuuma." His eyes had dropped to the floor as he explained, but he returned his gaze to Koneko's face. She was fully focused on him, listening intently.
"I was wrong." He stated. "I mistreated Rias who had never hurt me… because I was afraid. Worse, I hurt her by suggesting that she might not have been honest with me, even though I had no evidence or reason to think that. And if that weren't bad enough, without meaning too I compared Rias to Yuuma. Our loving, caring President to that vile, backstabbing monster."
He stopped to take in a deep breath. "I…I'm really ashamed of that, Koneko-chan."
Koneko's eyes grew soft. She wanted to comfort him but didn't know how.
"I projected my fears of Yuuma onto Rias."
Koneko nodded; she fully understood that concept.
"And if that weren't bad enough, I presented that mistrust and projection of fear to you as if it were a logical and fair way to behave." He met her eyes seriously. "It isn't Koneko-chan. I've been acting badly."
Koneko scooted over to the edge of the bed, letting her legs drop to the floor in front of her. She folded her hands in her lap and nodded her understanding.
"I understand, Issei-sama. It's hard to know what to think sometimes…"
Issei smiled sadly in agreement.
He sighed. "But now, I really want you to understand this." He pressed walking toward her till he was right in front of her. "I feel so ashamed that I spanked you for projecting your fear onto me, when I was doing the same thing to Rias." He dropped to his knees so they would be at eye-level. "I'm sorry, Koneko, for being a bad example for you. For not fixing my own problems before they led you to follow in the same direction which got you punished. I feel like such a hypocrite."
This is the true Issei. Koneko thought. "You'll never see him for who he really is until you can get passed his few flaws." Rias' words. The real Issei is kind and humble, and a bit strict, but not so prideful that he can't admit when he's wrong, even to a little sister like me. It's no wonder she fell for him. She realized. Someone like this can be trusted….
Before she even realized what she was doing, she had leaned forward on the edge of her bed and slipped her arms around his neck hugging him warmly.
Issei looked up in surprise. She had the biggest smile he'd ever seen matched by the sparkle in her eyes.
"It's alright, Issei-sama. I forgive you. You might have set a bad example, but I chose to follow it. I knew it felt wrong and did it anyways."
Pin pricks stabbed the backs of his eyes as he resisted the tears. He bowed his head humbled by her generosity and willingness to let his wrongs go. He felt her hand under his chin lifting his head.
"Don't be ashamed." She shook her head. "You were honest enough to apologize for your mistakes, and…" She planted a soft kiss on the red palm print on his cheek then stuttered out as her own cheeks lit up in scarlet, "It looks like you were punished too!"
Issei chuckled. He was so proud of her growth and so grateful for her forgiveness. In that moment, he felt as though he were the child and she the senior. "Thank you…" He whispered gratefully. "I can't tell you how much your forgiveness means to me. You're such a good girl."
She blushed, but said nothing instead acknowledging his thanks with a quick nod.
Issei smiled at her warmly and stood.
"I have to go back and talk to Rias-sama. We didn't finish talking… but I was so ashamed, that I had to make it right with you immediately! Rias-sama was nice enough to let me go and come back."
Koneko nodded her understanding and with a gentle smile gestured to the door.
Weekly Power Status
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