Chapter 25
Lunch Out (or In)
ALRIGHT PEOPLE. My quotes are going to expand exponentially! Not only will they be from the KHR! Fandom-related in some way, but all sorts of characters, fandoms, reviewers, whatever tickles my pear! (that was a Harry Potter reference, lovies) Possibly even other fanfictions.
Hibari - I make fangirls spin, I am full of win, if I rub my chin, it will increase the friction.
Mukuro - At fangirls, I stare, with my spiky hair. But I will not share my fangirls with Hibari!
Hibari - We're always competing for the fa~ns. They're addicted to my personality more than crystal meth. And with these steel tonfas in my hands, I will bring down all the herbivores and bite them all to death. - Fangirl Addiction by dyingwillbullet from the wonderful Abridged (which I don't own.)
Al: Brother...am I scary?
Ed: Please...you're kindness in a can. -Fullmetal Alchemist. That's right, folks. Call your brothers 'kindness in a can'. That'll lift their spirits.
Hughes: (showing Ed a picture) Look! Can you believe how big Alicia has gotten? She can even ride a tricycle now. She follows me everywhere on that thing, like my own escort of cuteness.
Ed: Yep, you're the same as ever, Major...Nice and insane. - Fullmetal Alchemist again. I recommend this series full-heartedly.
Today's Reviewer Quote
(something new I'm trying. If I don't like it, its going into the scrap heap, but otherwise, try and make your reviews as funny or meaningful as possible, and I'll display it here.)
"VOIIIIIIII! I'm not a Pedo. Ah, the strangeness of my mind. I didn't know strangeness was a word! New discovery. Yet cookieness isn't a word. I call foul." - shirokuromokona
Squ-chan (albeit reluctantly) came to pick me up from the forest. And by, 'pick me up', I mean, he tossed me into (you guessed it.) a potato sack.
He was wearing the Vongola Rain Ring (one half of it was real, one half of it was not) on his left hand. I guess that if he needed to cut off his real, right hand, and the ring was attached to it, he'd lose it. So just keep it on an easily replaced hand. (Plus, it was his sword arm, anyways.)
I felt kind of bad about this. I mean, I knew that stolen Half Ring was fake, but I let him, my friend (or at least, I'd like to imagine that we were friends.), believe that it was real.
I'm such a bitch.
Unceremoniously, Squ-chan dumped me out of the sack onto the floor of the dining hall at the Varia Castle. "Voi. Kid. Get off the floor-"
"Mou~ Squ-chan, dear! Did you have to dump out my poor sweet Yuni-chan like that? And to think, you're her father!" a familiar, extremely delighted (or was that just the flamboyance I was getting?) voice complained, pulling me into a tight hug.
I gasped for air, completely suffocating behind feather boas and Justin Bieber's Someday perfume mixed in with a little of Taylor Swift's Wonderstruck perfume. Well, I was struck with something, and it wasn't wonder. More of...a painful reaction to so much exposure to highly annoying scents. "Lussuria-san...please stop...making me...inhale feathers...!"
Squ-chan managed to pry the whining, flaming homosexual off me, and held him off. "Run."
I did.
Well, about three steps, before I tripped over Xanxus' feet, which were sticking out, hazardously, from his comfortable, arrogant seat on his throne.
Yep, it was so badass that it can't even be considered a chair anymore. It has risen above chairs, mere stools are several classes below it in the hierarchy of furniture.
...what do I waste my time thinking about? Maybe Lussuria's Wonderstruck perfume was making me wonder...but about the strangest and randomest things in the world.
I really don't know, Yuni-chan. I really don't know.
Okay, Mao-chan. Time to put the first part of our big plan into action. Well, technically, your big plan. But hey, whatever works.
Would you like me to go over the plan?
Nah. But if I start screwing up, I'll have to rely on you for witty, non-sarcastic or rude comments, k?
But-
Either that or I wing it, honey.
...alright.
Thought so.
"Xanxan!" I screeched, peeling my face from the floor.
The mafia boss stared at me, not glaring, or happily (Jesus, the day Xanxus is happy is the day that Skull beats Reborn.), but just...staring at me. Like I wasn't even worth acknowledging. Not scum, but not a person to respect.
...then again, Xanxus doesn't respect anyone.
Lussuria looked horrified at the tone I was using. "Yuni-chan! As your mother, I should've taught you better respect! But, alas, that is simply what I deserve for letting Squ-chan, dearest, to send you away to that Giglio Nero place of Neanderthals."
Said-dearest looked somewhat interested in my confrontation with his leader, pausing in throttling Lussuria.
"Apologize." I ordered, angrily. You don't just trip a little kid (even if mentally, I could be his twin sister), no matter who the hell you are.
"No." he said, amused. As if I was some sort of never-ending amusement. But that wasn't me, I wasn't the never-ending entertainment show. No, that was Squ-chan's job.
"Apologize." I repeated, gritting my teeth.
"No."
"AH, FUCK YOU!" I threw my hands in the air, exasperation.
Flick. Whiz. Shatter.
Yet another wine bottle (John Harvey & Sons. Imported from England.) broke against Squalo's head. Nothing had changed, since my last visit (well, other than the fact that they all had Vongola 'Rings'.).
"VOI! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU FUCKING BOSS?!" Squalo whirled around, holding his head.
I snickered. Yep. Nothing had changed.
"Muu...Lussuria. Is it time to eat yet? I'm starving. You ought to pay me for taking so long." Mammon, who had been upstairs, floated down the stairwell, looking slightly annoyed.
Lussuria looked angry at himself- err, herself- no, himself- I DON'T KNOW. "Mou, I forgot! Yuni-chan distracted me...bye-bye now, children! Don't play rough!" He disappeared into a doorway, probably the kitchens.
Mammon noticed me. "Oh, its you. Wanna see some illusions? It'll cost you."
I had expected this, and pulled fifteen euros out of my pocket- equal to 20 American Dollars, or 1900 yen.
I handed over the money (feeling suspiciously like I was in some sort of drug exchange.), and Mammon held out his hand. Out of it, something shimmered, materializing into existence.
A second me.
At first, I was kind of impressed, it looked exactly like Yuni (well, me, you know.). Down to the slightest detail ("Is my hair really that messed up?!" "Yes."). Then it got kind of creepy.
Mao-chan, is this creeping you out too?!
... she didn't say anything.
I think she was shocked into silence.
Have you ever come face-to-face with yourself? Down to a microscopic level? Where even, for a second, you were confused, who was who? Was I even truly the real Yuni? Of course not. I was Not-Yuni, the Yuni inserted into Canon-Yuni.
All of a sudden, everything got really confusing, and my head hurt from all that thinking (don't make fun of me.).
The 2nd-Me smiled at me.
I think that was when I burst into tears.
I don't know if I was crying from being over-emotional (I was, still, four years old.), or from thinking too much, or if the illusion was affecting my brain.
Mammon's illusion immediately dispersed, and he was eyeing me, carefully. Squalo, on the other hand, was screaming at Mammon, for 'being a fucking idiot' I think it was. Xanxus just glanced at me. Heartless bitch.
Lussuria came in, gave me a big motherly hug (sending Squ-chan a scalding glare for 'not protecting his sweet daughter), and we all sat down at the table (beside Xanxus, because he was already sitting in his pimpin' throne.).
Some servants came in, and set down plates. Steak (of course. Xanxus would have nothing less.), a pot roast, some vegetables (the meat to vegetable ratio was so off-balance, it was hilarious.), wine, ice cream and apple juice lined the table.
I suspected that the apple juice was for us kids, (me, Mammon [even though he was probably old enough to be Lussuria's grandfather] and Bel), the prince helped himself to the wine, and just took the ice cream tub and just ate out of the thing.
Mammon didn't drink apple juice (probably because he wasn't going to degrade himself to that level.) or wine (because his tiny baby body didn't have the alcohol tolerance of his previous adult form), and just ate a balanced meal.
Lussuria ate a little of everything, managing to pry the ice cream tub from Bel for about two seconds (enough time for a scoop), before the prince snatched it back.
Xanxus just ate steak. And wine. And then threw the empty bottles (or glasses, chairs, tables, Mammon) at Squalo for really no good reason.
Squalo shot the boss a glare, and enthusiastically ate vegetables (strangely enough.) and meat, only having one glass of wine, before demanding some milk from the poor servants. Health nut.
I...actually don't know where Levi was. Probably watching Xanxus from behind the wall. Talk about dedication.
I just nibbled on some steak (Xanxus shot me a glare for eating his precious meat) and reluctantly drank some juice. I would feel bad if Lussuria went out of the way to get me it, and I didn't even try it.
"So, Mammon." I lazily propped my face up with my hand, leaning up on the table.
I would have to give the guy credit. He kind of just made a little kid cry about a minute ago, and didn't visibly flinch. But the way that his attention was solely on me, so quickly, a rapid response, was not...natural.
"You the only master illusionist here?" I asked, trying to seem innocently curious.
"Unfortunately so." he nodded. "There is currently no other that has skills anywhere near mine, I am so vastly apart from the rest of them."
I wanted to snicker. Ever heard of Rokudo Mukuro? but I thought that I'd just be questioned about him, etc.
"Well, why don't you train someone with some potential?" I asked, the image of angelic. "I know a French guy who is about my age, I think, and I'm pretty sure he's good."
Good enough that in ten years, he can kick the Vindice's ass.
Yuni-chan, may I ask, again, why, exactly, you wanted him here?
I gave a mental shrug. The Varia were having a rapid, hushed discussion about my idea, so I doubted they would mind if I 'spaced out'.
The Varia is easy to manipulate at this point. They have the Rings, they believe that Xanxus will become boss, so they need to start building their forces, in case they think Tsunayoshi-san will come. Which is exactly the opposite of the truth, but whatever works.
Your point? He will not come until at least after the Ring Affair.
I know. But after that, the Varia will be so submerged in darkness, because of being grounded to Italy, and losing almost all their priveleges. He will be a little support to cushion the blow. I need them to rely on me for good ideas, so then they'll be Play-Doh in my toddler fingers.
...please, re-explain the entire thing.
Fine. Okay, so right now, the Varia think that they have the Real Vongola Rings. But they have a real half and a fake half. In Japan, Tsuna and the others are training like hell, to beat the Varia, when they come, which is unavoidable. And I'm trying to get him over here, so when they lose, and seem so crippled in power, he'll give their strength a little boost. Not to mention that his personality is ridiculously funny and in canon, I never hear his jokes/emotionally-traumatizing comments, so my new goal is to surround myself in those comments!
So now, you're trying to get the Varia to recruit him? Doesn't he need to be trained by Rokudo-san?
Through slight manipulation, yes. I'll talk to Mukuro, thanks for reminding me.
You don't think things through well enough, Yuni-chan.
As long as my plans work, I won't have to, Mao-chan.
I tapped back into reality, just in time.
Squalo shot me a look of pure seriousness - I knew it was time to stop horsing around. "Get into contact with this French associate of yours. If they die, then its not on us."
Canon had started back when I met Dino at the Cavallone Mansion. Hell, it started before I was born. Back when Checker Face and Sepira gave Giotto the Vongola Rings. And I had to learn that I couldn't be fucking up everything.
If he wasn't yet ready to handle the Varia (I'm sure he would, in the future), then I would be dooming us all to rule, under Byakuran.
"Alright."
.
.
.
.
.
I hope the choice I just made...was the right one.
Who do you think the 'French associate' was? Tell me in a review.
Extreme Reviews!
Dearest Author - Fuck yes.
Kufufu no Fu - Bitch, please. Ahaha, thanks for the review, sweetie. See you at school, k?
Raviena Si Absole - I love how KHR! just totally fucked up the mafia's reputation.
shirokuromokona - I wasn't calling you a pedo...I was calling Byakuran one... -_- awkward face. I don't think there was enough Xanxus. Oops. I meant for there to be tons of him.
echo andalice - I don't think she'll be going to Japan (and with the Varia, of all people.), because she has to track down her 'French Associate'.
KatoKimeka-chan - I watched the VOMICS! (I'm such a mafioso, ahaha.) Everyone has their own suspicions to Mao-chan's TRUE IDENTITY! (I'm tired, I think.)
Michiyo - Yuni gives poor Gamma such a hard time.
MeLikesROFL - I'll give a timeline, just for you, ahaha.
sweetchill - Thankses!
Paigecat - I'm giving a little timeline at the end, I think. Things will go in order of however I decided (I'm still on the fence.), which I haven't yet.
Guest - I feel like I'm inspiring people to go watch the Abridged, lol.
I'm going to be giving an approximate timeline of where we're at/summary of whats going on.
But first, the most awkward online-KHR!-related story of my life.
I was on Youtube (oh god, you see where this is going.), clicking on Mukuro Rokudo character songs/AMVs, okay? He has the best voice ever, I think. And then I clicked on something (instead of Kufufu no Fu), and pulled up this video, with Mukuro's voice actor in it. And I was like, OK, I like Mukuro's voice. BUT THEN! I realized that it was Mukuro's voice and Belphegor's voice, in a show, where they were having gay sex. I screeched like a banshee and clicked out. I'm still red.
SO! Lesson learned, don't click on shit on Youtube. (I'm scarred, my friends, I'm scarred. I can never un-hear that.)
SUMMARY/TIMELINE OF WHAT DA FUCK IS GOING ON!
Alright, so right now, the Kokuyo Arc is over, Mukuro is in jail, Chrome is in Japan (with Ken and Chikusa), and Yuni is back in Italy. Squalo already stole the Vongola Rings, and presented them to Xanxus, who still believes that they are the real ones. Yuni tells them that they should recruit more illusionists (if that doesn't tell you who is coming, then you, my friend, are not very good at this game.). In a few days (a week, about), Xanxus sobers up, realizes the rings (that Squalo stole) were fakes, yells at Squalo, and they head out for Japan, leaving Yuni behind. The Varia told her to find them an illusionist to apprentice to Mammon.
*spoilers for the story, kind of, ahead*
So, while the Varia is in Japan, fighting with Tsunayoshi and the other Guardians, Yuni is tracking down (spoiler. but if you couldn't figure this out, then you're not very smart, no offense.) Fran. She knows that Fran and Mukuro are practically partners. So, she's going to get Mukuro to find him for her. And then she'll have Mukuro talk to him for her. She'll get him to come to Italy, as a sort of 'apprentice' to Mammon. He's got incredibly potential now, but Mammon doesn't care much, but Fran's skill will exponentially grow. That's because she'll convince Mukuro to teach Fran in Fran's dreams.
*end of spoilers*
That's how things will work out right now.
QUESTION! Do you think I should organize the future by the order of how things happened (like varia arc, then the arcobaleno trials, then the 1st generation arc), or like the plot (like varia arc, future arc, arcobaleno trials, choice arc, 1st generation, final battle)?
Tell me, I really need to know, because that's coming way faster than I expected.
Leave a review:)
I admit, I want to get to 200 reviews, before the next chapter. So if I get 200 reviews by the next chapter, I'll throw in a little omake too, k?
Expect an update...sometime this week. By next weekend, at least.
LeoInuyuka