Chapter 20
Squalo Beats 'Em Up
Gola Moska - Shhhh
Hibari - What did you just call me?
Gola Moska - Pssss
Hibari - Oh no you didn't.
Mammon - So whose the chick?
Chrome - Oh, my name is Chrome and I-
Tsuna - Hi, Mukuro!
Chrome - No, I'm a girl now. I mean, I've been a girl. I mean- oh, fuck.
Tsuna - You think you can threaten my friends?
Xanxus - I don't make threats, I make formally approved proposals of malcontent and suffering.
Tsuna - Is that...better?
The KHR Abridged series I watch released a new Trailer, so I'm satisfied with lots and lots of quotes. And I've shared them with all of you.
You're welcome.
Here's Chapter 20: Squ-chan Beats 'Em Up.
Don't own KHR, KHR Abridged, M&Ms, Skittles, Princess Peach, Soul Eater or anything else.
So Reborn led the other non-fighters (excluding me. Fuck rules, I was gonna fuckin' see this to the end.) away, to safety, leaving me with specific instructions. 'Don't piss him off'.
Ah. I can tell you care so much, Reborn. Thanks.
The really cute guy (I knew he was Basil, the CEDEF guy, but calling him 'the really cute guy' worked just fine for me.) had led Tsuna away while Reborn was throwing a mini bitch-fit about me not leaving.
"Hey, where are you taking Juudaime?!" Gokudera hollered, accusingly.
"Tsuna!" Yamamoto called, worried.
While they were panicking, I walked up to a vending machine, holding some of my well-earned money (read: money-I-earned-by-kicking-Mochida's-ass-at-a-cake-eating-competition) in-between my fingers, browsing the food selections. "Hmm, M&M's or Skittles...the choices..."
Squ-chan went after them, while I plunked myself down on the ground, holding both M&Ms and Skittles. The choice was too hard. "VOII! Hide-and-seek time is over!"
"Squ-chan, sweetie, the only one who would be playing hide-and-seek here would be the four-year-old - that's me, if you didn't know - and even I'm too mature for that." I chimed, sweetly, popping a red M&M in my mouth. Yum. Chocolate-y.
"SHUT UP, BRAT! Now, who is this guy, huh?!" Squ-chan demanded, gesturing to Tsuna.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU FUCKING GIRLY MAN." I shot back, just as angrily. Fucking bitch Squ-chan.
"SHUT UP. So, you gonna tell me, or what?!" he went on, to poor Basil.
Then Squ-chan (FUCKING BITCH.) smacked that sweet, adorable Basil through the window.
Eep. Probably should've warned him about that.
Alone, Tsuna began having a panic attack (either that, or he was doing a squirrel impression...) when Squ-chan pointed his sword at the middle-schooler.
"Ah. Child abuse." I deadpanned, melting the chocolate in my mouth. Oh, that's some good shit.
Luckily, some incredibly-familiar dynamite lit up the sky, distracting Squ-chan.
"Go ahead and try and land a hand on him." Gokudera challenged, dynamite held, tightly, in his grip. "But you might not get off so easily."
Yamamoto swung his sword over his shoulder, smiling. "Yup, that's how it'll be. We'll be your opponents, k?"
I sweatdropped. "Don't be so friendly, Yamamoto-san."
Tsuna looked relieved, probably feeling saved. "Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto!"
"I wasn't even carrying my bat with me, so why do I have it?" Yamamoto laughed, as if your bat appearing out of nowhere was perfectly normal. Then again...we were mafia. If Byakuran can sprout angel wings, then anything is fuckin' possible.
Tsuna and I said together, "It was probably Reborn..."
Squ-chan landed in front of them, like some kind of freaky cat. Meow. "Are you involved in this too? VOI! I don't really understand, but let me tell you how this is gonna go down. You stand against me, you die."
"Ah. Child abuse. A second time!" I exclaimed, sarcastically.
"Right back at ya." Gokudera sneered, in defiance. Fucking bitch rebel.
"That's a sword, right?" Yamamoto asked, as if he needed to confirm it, all serious looking.
"No." I deadpanned. "It's Princess Fucking Peach, what the fuck does it look like?!"
"I'll face you first." he said, completely ignoring the sarcasm.
YOU DON'T IGNORE THE SARCASM. OR IT EATS YOUR SOUL. Like the Kishin... SOUL EATER REFERENCE, MOFO.
"Stop!" Basil protested, from inside that building. "He would best thee easily! His might is too great!"
Basil...do you know how fucking awesome your old-timey talk sounds? It sounds fucking bad. ass. Just sayin'.
Yamamoto and Squ-chan clashed swords, violently. Yay, violence. NOT. Yamamoto flung Squalo into the air.
"Is that even possible?" I deadpanned, a little creeped out.
Squ-chan came flying back (gravity.) and they collided once again. However, Squ-chan's sword decided to be a bitch. And shoot out explosives.
"What?" Yamamoto blinked, just before, ya know, HE EXPLODED.
"Yamamoto-san!" I squeaked. Well, I already knew this was gonna happen, but...DAYUM.
"Yamamoto!"
"Gunpowder..."
The smoke from the gunpowder faded, just enough for us to see Yamamoto fall to the ground, defeated.
I looked into my bag of M&Ms. Damn it, they're gone. I threw them into a trash can (strangely enough, it was like...not damaged.) and opened up my Skittles.
In the time it took me to do that, Squ-chan had already kicked down Gokudera.
Basil lunged forward (like the crazy ninja badass I knew he was.) and blocked Squ-chan's finishing attack for Gokudera. They began slashing, blocking, smacking and attackin' one another like crazy.
It was kind of awesome to watch...
Reborn arrived (wearing nothing but a pot. Crazy bastard.), and began arguing with Tsuna about something or another.
But I told you, I don't wanna be a mafia boss! - Tsuna
Lalala, I can't hear you. I'm naked and wearing a cactus, lalalalalala. - Reborn
KHR Abridged. Bitchin'.
Ah, remembering that, made me remember the Lightning Battle.
Ahh, look, a little chibi cow, aww. - Levi
Are you hitting on me? - Lambo
Strangely enough, I can picture Levi and Lambo having that conversation...
Then there's the Storm Battle...
Seriously, is that all you do? Just laugh? - Gokudera
*KNIVES*
Ahh! My manhood, I mean, my dynamite! - Gokudera
Yeah. Reborn Abridged is...awesome. I mean...CORPORATE XANXUS. Yeah, go youtube that shit.
Anyways, (wow, Yuni, way to get off topic, you crazy bitch.) back to the fight.
Tsuna grabbed Squ-chan's arm (ya know, just as he was about to KILL BASIL!) and began yelling like some kind of crazy guy. Of course, he was Deathperate. Because we all know that regular Tsuna does have the balls to do that.
"LONG HAIR." Tsuna...inside voices.. "I WILL BEAT YOU AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!"
I leaned back, observing him.
The Dying Will Bullet. It was originally invented by the Vongola Famiglia, but as of late, other smaller mafia families have been making altered versions of it, like Naito Longchamp's family. Bullets are made by storing regular, prime bullets in Leon's body for three days. Once you get shot, you die. But, if you feel regret when you were shot, you are entirely 'reborn' as a new person, with a furious will to do whatever it is you had regretted when you had been shot. When you are shot, you lose all your clothes (minus the underwear, of course.) and are able to do amazing things. The Bullet would remove all physical limiters, so if you're incredibly weak, you become incredibly strong and become able to run a marathon in five minutes.
Predictably, the weakness of this Bullet is the time limit. Tsuna'll be training to increase the time limit, of course, but right now, he has five minutes to kick Squ-chan's ass. Another weakness is probably the part that if you have no regrets when you are shot, you die. Which, of course, would suck, but its the risk of it that will allow you to do such amazing things.
Or at least, thats what I think.
And how do I know all this?
...I think you all know the answer.
I am prodigious, after all.
"VOI. What just happened?" Squ-chan demanded. Heh. Bitch.
Well...then again, if a kid I happened to run into decided to strip, set their forehead on fire and gets this big personality change, I'd be askin' for answers.
Squ-chan's expression turned from WTF to one of understanding. "You're that Japanese kid that everyone's been talking about. I see! He came here to meet you."
"Tsuna is famous. Go fucking figure." I muttered, tossing a yellow Skittle in my mouth. Then I promptly began choking on it. "Gahk! Gakhtuuh. Tuuh. Tuuh. Grahr. Okay, I'm good."
"What are you planning? You're gonna spit it out, or die!" Squ-chan threatened, waving his sword around like some kind of muscle spasm.
Tsuna pulled his arm back and swung, throwing a punch. Squ-chan caught it, with so much ease, it was almost embarrassing.
Then again, I'd be PWN-ed in like...two seconds. So, I'm just a pot being racist to my friend, the kettle.
"VOI! You're weak! WEAK!" Squ-chan slashed with his sword, sending Tsuna into a building, almost effortlessly.
Ya see, if I was a normal kid, I would've been panicking, because some random Italian guy was throwing the person that I was mooching off of into buildings. But I, being me, pulled out my DS and began the next level of Pokemon Rangers.
"You fucking Entei, you can't fucking escape my fucking pen, bitch!" I cackled, drawing circles around it. "Shit, fucking fire. Yo, Charizard, get your fucking ass out here! Wait, you're fire too. Fucking bitch, so fuckin' useless, dammit! Fine. Err, you, the psychic one! What's your name, Gardevoir, right? WHY IS YOUR NAME GARDEVOIR IF YOU'RE PSYCHIC. Fine, fuck you. Now attack!"
Tsuna jumped out of the building, as I drew three circles around Entei. Squ-chan simply slashed him back again.
And then Basil told Tsuna to run and stuff, handing him a box dun dun dunnnnn, and Tsuna did.
"RUN, BITCH, RUN!" I laughed, hysterically.
"Aren't you on my side?!" Tsuna cried, running pathetically slow.
"I was talking to Entei." I blinked, innocently.
He facepalmed, but kept running.
Squ-chan landed in front of him, threatening the poor kid.
Then Dino arrived. "Superbi Squalo. I see you haven't changed a bit."
Internally, I squealed. This was like the coolest thing that that bitch, Dino, was ever gonna do. ...yeah, thats really it. (because, of course, my dear Hibari-sama kicks his fucking ass in the future when they fight Daisy and all~)
"Yo, Dino~" I called, happily.
Dino blinked, turning to face me. He paled, significantly. "Y-Yuni?! W-What are you doing her-"
"Hush, child." I smirked, amused. Somebody is scared of me... "Carry on, as if I wasn't here."
Tsuna, who had, quite literally, been trembling in his boxers, looked relieved, at the arrival of the awesome Dino Cavallone.
"A-Anyway... being so serious against children...aren't you embarassed?" Dino said, regaining his cool composure.
"Dino-san!" Tsuna cried, eyes wide.
"If you carry on your tasteless little game..." Dino looked incredibly serious. That expression belongs on a poster. "I'll take you on."
Squ-chan looked like he was actually considering it. After all, it wasn't every day that you get to fight a mafia boss. (Well, then again, Squ-chan's fights with Xanxus don't necessarily count as fights...they are one-sided, after all...) "VOI! It'd be fun to take you on right now Bucking Bronco, but the boss won't like it if I take on someone from the alliance... So I'll go home quietly..."
I tensed. This is Squ-chan, we're talking about. Queen of the Bitch Ass Mother Fuckers...
"AS IF I'LL DO THAT!" he yelled, grabbing Tsuna, making the boy drop the box of the Vongola Rings.
"Let go of Tsuna!" Dino cried, whipping out his...err, whip.
Squalo swung his sword, using the old 'gunpowder' trick, blinding us all.
After the smoke cleared, Squ-chan was up on a building, holding the Vongola Rings. "I'll be takin' these with me!"
"Next time you kidnap me, don't forget to bring the potato sack!" I called, waving.
And he was gone.
.
.
.
.
.
No matter how much I'd like to change the future, to make it better, cleaner, I have to leave it as it is now, because everything turns out alright in the end.
Ah. This chapter was like, I dunno, 2, 000 words?
Reviews with my Dying Will~
GreenDrkness - You'll just have to find out~ I'll keep on the writes, lol.
Guest - Yuni doesn't feel bad for Reborn. He IS mafia, after all. Thanks for the review, bro~
Michiyo - My Winter break is coming up, err, in two weeks, so then I'll update like I'm on drugs or something. You don't even wanna know what my summer updates are gonna look like...
Paigecat - No one will ever stop lovin' Tsuna. He's too awesome and cute and has too fluffy hair to hate. Byakuran is fuckin' cray. I totally forgot about him. And your Reborn...thats true...his bug army, lol, he can take over the world, instead of Byakuran.
KatoKimeka-chan - You got it. I have conversations like that every damn day, lol.
Lanaught - The only kind of cake I like is ice cream cake, vanilla cake...and thats really it.
Hanamizuki-Kokoro - It'll be before the Future, definitely. I can't live without my good old Fran. Squ-chan only shut up, because she was still pissed about the potato sack.
Deko - Thanks? Ahaha, glad to know you like it.
Skyla15699 - Fran is pretty crazy...I mean, megaphone, fairies, his Bel Box-Weapon? Yep, he be cray.
New question~
Would you prefer next chapter to be a continuation of the Rebocon omakes or a regular chapter? I'm really on the fence about this.
Leave your answer in a review.
Leave a review~
And some Ritz Crackers~
And M&Ms.
And Skittles.
That's it.
Expect an update...er, whenever~
LeoInuyuka