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Chapter 19: The Desert

Gary is running through the desert.

He is being hunted down like the dog he is. Finally! Some recognition!

Gary had made it across the ocean.

Gary had been traveling on a magicite powered dinghy he had procured from Oscar's corpse. The fool had his keys to the boat in his pockets. Now the boat was Gary's boat.

Gary would surely make great use of such a finely crafted dinghy. One of a kind. Modeled after the first emperor's own dinghy. You know the one, yes! The one he used to set off on the adventure that eventually led to the Immortal Sunset Empire. Gary would surely not just abandon such a valuable ship!

Gary was being chased down by Zorkmid Assassins. The agent from Cal Evras' teleportation station, that checked Gary's bag, had neglected to tell his superiors about Gary's Chasing Starlight skill, and had decided to 'appropriate' it for his own use.

Zorkmids were a virtual currency that operated off of 'hopes and dreams,' and were thus utterly unstable, and largely useless. For now though, the assassins were well paid.

Of course, Gary had managed to Gary things up even more.

As Gary sped through the ocean he bumped into Arrin, Emma, and the crown prince of the empire.

They had just come out of some underwater legacy, or something.

Everyone had earned something special from the endeavor, with Arrin receiving an entire floating palace.

As they all made their way out of the ocean, Gary, passing through on his dinghy, called the crown prince of the empire a "Bitch ass motherfucker, get out of the way." This was not good for Gary.

"Was that the baggage carrier?" thought Arrin. "No, that doesn't make sense. He's dead!"

Gary made it onto land, leaving the priceless dinghy in the water, and ran off into the desert. All the while being chased by both assassins, and royal guards.

Gary ran for much longer than he ought to be capable of, and saw a strange sight up ahead.

"Was that a giant centipede?" thought Gary, as he stopped on a sand dune.

"Finally!" Thought Freddy, the Zorkmid Assassin.

His target Gary had finally stopped running at ludicrous speeds, and taken a short rest on top of a sand dune.

Little did Gary know that Freddy, one of the fastest living True Self assassins, was right behind him.

Freddy pulled out his dagger and prepared to slit Gary's throat.

Two giant pincers materialised out of thin air and bisected Freddy, and Potential Gary. A sad time for Freddy.

Luckily for Gary, Potential Gary was not Gary.

Gary was standing on another sand dune entirely!

"Oh that Was a giant centipede!" Thought Gary as he sped away into the desert.

What Gary had witnessed was a Phase Tunneler. Nasty creatures that were half-real, and half-not. They could shift in and out of existence nearly at will. Almost entirely unpredictable to your average cultivator.

Unfortunately, to them, Gary, due to his bizarre cultivation technique, looked like a stack of chicken sandwiches moving at extremely high velocities.

Not particularly healthy, but damn tasty when you had nothing to eat. There was a reason Timor's space attribute cultivators did not live for very long.

Gary kept running for his little life while uselessly shooting his laser musket behind him. He was hoping it would scare off some of his enemies. Sadly, all it did was strengthen their resolve, and remind them that Gary was indeed an idiot that couldn't possibly hurt them whatsoever.

Gary did not attempt to cease to exist, as he simply couldn't.

"Bullshit! I just did it!" thought Gary.

Gary ran for a long, long time.

Gary was out of food, water, and enemies, come to think of it.

Both the royal guards, and Zorkmid Assassins had given up long ago.

The Phase Tunnelers, now a trio, weren't nearly as fast as Gary.

Gary slowed down and took a moment to relax.

"Oh, thank fuck." Said Gary out loud.

Of course, they could hone in on Gary anywhere on Timor. Any number of Phase Tunnelers could be making their way to Gary now.

Gary was suddenly wide-eyed, and energetic. He kept running through the desert, until he collapsed.

The nearest Phase Tunneler was a few days off from Gary, so he wasn't in any immediate threat. How very lucky for you Gary!

Gary woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

A likely story, as Gary had not seen a 'familiar' ceiling in over two years. At some point during his escapades Gary had hit the age of 18.

Gary took a deep breath, and looked around the room.

A table, a cup of water, a wooden floor, and a creepy old man standing in the doorway.

"Good morning!" Said the creepy-looking old man.

"Oh shit! Uh, I mean hello." Responded Gary as he sat up.

"My tribe found you out in the desert. We're good folk so we decided to take you in." Said the creepy old man.

"You didn't have to say that last part? I could've guessed." Responded Gary as his eyes flashed. I'm not gonna lie, that was significantly creepier than the old man. Please, don't do that with your eyes again, thank you.

"Well, uh...thanks, but I think your home would be safer without me in it." Stated Gary.

"Hmm? Oh! You mean because of the Phase Tunnelers? Ha ha ha, don't worry young man we have a way to deal with them." Replied the creepy old man.

Garry furrowed his brows.

"Really?" asked Gary

"Yes, Really." replied the creepy old man.

"Really, really?" asked Gary.

"Yes! Really, really!" yelled the creepy old man.

"It's not going to be some bullshit with an obvious flaw in its design is it?" asked Gary

"What? No it won't be. After all, our founders designed it!" replied the creepy old man.

"Right, right. How convenient." Gary stated.

You're right Gary! How convenient!


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