Chapter 98: Dungeon Dive (Pt. 1)
I stepped towards the door leading to the dungeon, fully prepared for whatever is hidden down in its depths.
But as soon as I opened the door, I realized that I may not have been prepared enough.
I heard the loud echoes of rattling bones.
A LOT of rattling bones.
"Huh." I said in mild surprise. "So that's what he meant by skeletons in his closet."
{He must've had quite the closet if there's this many skeletons in it.}
I gave an annoyed glare in a random direction due to the lack of a physical form for my para... companion.
{You were gonna call me a parasite weren't you?} The Gods asked flatly.
I merely whistled lightly, ignoring the question entirely.
{Fine, deny it if you want. Just know that we're gonna have some sort of revenge.}
The response made me raise an eyebrow in confusion and intrigue.
"What makes this insult any different than the rest?" I asked.
{We can take an insult to our personality, as we have no doubts that is true, but an insult to what we are is something we can't take.} The Gods said. {We have all the right to be insulted by being called something that only takes without giving anything in return. A parasite is quite a negative existence, and we are much more than that.} The freeloaders continued.
"Al... right," I said. "I'm gonna see what else will get you riled up in the future."
{Go ahead and try.} They said. {See how that goes for you.}
"Gladly." I said with a happy smile, feeling great after finding something that got under the skin of the almighty squatters.
{That's... an interesting thing to call us?} The Gods said with no small amount of confusion. {We're not sure whether to be flattered or insulted by that.}
"Considering that it's me that insulted you? Probably insulted." I said.
{And you're not getting any useful info from me about the dungeon then.} The Gods said with an obviously fake annoyed tone. {How's that for a comeback?}
"Is that really a hard question?" I asked.
{No...} I heard the Gods say depressedly. I couldn't help but feel that they were drawing circles in the ground wherever they were, or are.
And suddenly they were happy again.
{Oh! We have an idea!} The Gods suddenly said with energy.
Their happy tone sent shivers down my spine, causing me to mutter a barely audible "Oh no..."
'They better not ask Uni for help.' I thought in slight fear.
{We'll ask Uni for help!} They exclaimed happily.
I immediately slumped down and began sulking on the ground.
'Why did I have to tempt fate?' I cried to myself.
{Because it makes life interesting?} The Gods commented.
"Gah!" I jumped. "I forgot that you could hear me think!"
{How?} They asked. {We literally talk to you mentally all the time.}
"Selective memory?" I wondered. "Maybe even a higher power trying to pull a prank on me." I added with a glare.
{It wasn't us!} They defended.
I felt like they weren't finished, so I kept my glare.
{This time...} They added.
And my glare deepened.
"What. Did. You. Do?: I ground out menacingly.
{We didn't do anything!} They hastily said, earning a harder glare from me. {We'll explain later! Just leave us to wallow in despair later!} They continued.
I nodded, but my glare stayed constant.
"I guess I better get to cleaning this 'closet' then." I grumbled. "This better be worth it."
{Who knows?} The Gods said. {You might even discover something interesting along the way too.}
I picked up on the way the Gods were speaking and immediately knew something was up.
"You know something I don't. Tell me." I demanded.
{Do you remember what we said before?} The Gods asked smugly. {We're not revealing anything.}
"Bastards. The lot of you." I growled.
{You seem a bit strung up.} The Gods commented. {You should relax a bit after this.}
I noted the idea of fishing again, and quickly decided it was something I'm definitely doing again.
And so I steeled myself and stepped down to the path into the dungeon, prepared for whatever it threw at me.
As I walked down the uncomfortably empty path, I noticed a door leading into a large room that seemed like a library, since it held rows and rows of bookshelves.
'This place is stocked.' I commented mentally.
I stepped into the room, expecting something to happen.
I was focused on the area around me, trying to note any traps or tricks, but all there was were books.
I grabbed one and the title immediately grabbed my attention.
[Artificially Increasing Your Mana: A Guide to The Stars.]
I immediately put the book into my inventory, intent on reading it later, along with any other books that catch my attention.
I reached towards the other books and looked at the titles of several of the books:
[The Lusty Argonian Maid]
[Interdimensional Travel And Why it is Dangerous]
[101 Skeleton Jokes]
[Astrophysics For Dummies]
[Minecraft: The Island]
I raised an eyebrow at several of the books, especially since one of them was very different from the rest of them.
{I recommend that you keep the first one.} The Gods said. {Quite a good read.}
I decided to ignore the Gods and simply pocket all the books.
I left the library alone, deciding to visit at a later time to see what else there was in there.
As I was walking out of the room, I noticed that there was a book that was laying on the ground in front of the door.
'How did I miss this?' I thought.
I picked up the book and looked at the cover.
It had no title but had a drawing of a water droplet falling emblazoned on its cover.
I tilted my head at the book, deciding to open the book to see what it was about.
And promptly got shot in the face with a bolt of water.
My face was the textbook look of 'I should have seen this coming' since this was a recurring thing with books at this point.
And it only took me a few seconds to throw the book at a wall in annoyance.
It was at that point I realized that I was being used for comedic timing, since I was immediately hit in the back of the head with the exact same bolt from before.
It was at that point that I reached the boiling point and only saw red.
And so I stormed out of the library, very angry and very prepared to make this 'closet' much quieter.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire Well, I apologize for the disappearing acts lately.
This time was just sheer irresponsibility on my part.
I hope you enjoyed it otherwise.
Ps. about the books: I kinda just came up with the names on the spot, with my brain going 'that'd be funny'.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
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