Chapter 86: Slimes.
-A few days after the trip to the underworld-
I looked around the corrupted landscape, still unsure as to why I was here at all.
"So why am I here again?" I said, a feeling of deja vu overtaking me after I said the words.
'I swear that this exact situation happened a few days ago...'
{We're here to deal with a problem we may have forgotten to tell you about. And this situation indeed happened a few days ago.}
I sighed at the antics of the gods.
"Are you going to tell me what it is that I am supposed to defeat, or are you going to keep me in the dark?" I questioned, my annoyance bleeding into my voice.
{Of course we will tell you.} The Gods said in a 'serious' tone of voice.
The gods cleared their throat and began to explain the situation in detail.
{What we are dealing with is a variant of a slime that corrupts the area around them, forcefully expanding the corruption at a pace that is unacceptable. I decided to have you deal with this due to your specific 'abilities'.}
"You mean the royal gel." I said with a deadpan voice.
The Gods simply continued their explanation, ignoring my remark.
{Anyways, you have to get rid of them. Quickly.} They explained in simple words.
I just nodded my head and began the search for these corrupted slimes, which took a surprisingly short time.
I simply walked around the area before I saw the massive purple slime, and it looked pretty cool, to be honest.
It was a slime that was about 4 feet tall, and 8 feet in diameter, making it larger than pretty much every human being. It was also covered in patterns that were quite similar to something you would get when you mixed dye and water together without mixing too much. (You know this is a really weird way to describe it, but I'm keeping it. Just picture a marbled pattern)
I walked towards it, and as expected, it didn't react to me.
So I simply did my job and killed it quickly using my recently acquired sunfury.
[Sunfury
70 damage
Strong knockback
Very slow use time
12 velocity
Debuffs inflicted: On Fire! (slowly losing life) 25% chance on hit.]
I was very pleasantly surprised when I saw the stats of the weapon, as it had instantly become my most powerful item.
I threw the flail at the slime, and it quickly got stuck inside of its body, which is what I wanted to happen.
Due to the molten nature of the sunfury, it boiled the slime from the inside out and made it pop like an overinflated water balloon.
{Could you be less flashy? we're here to kill slimes not show off.} The Gods said to my surprise.
"I expected you to have the 'the flashier it is, the better it is' mindset, not something boring like that." I retorted.
The Gods gasped in mock horror.
{Us, boring? How dare you! We pride ourselves on our crazy lifestyle!} They said in a voice of mock anger.
"Whatever." I responded.
And so the hunt continued.
-A few hours later-
"God this is boring!" I shouted at the sky.
{Hey don't bring up another deity here! Next time we might take it as you cheating on us!} The Gods warned in fake seriousness.
"Oh you know that I would never cheat on you." I responded with the same mock seriousness.
{That's what we love about you, darling.} The Gods said in an uncomfortably cheery tone.
I cringed at the tone.
"Okay, that's just creepy. Never call me darling again. Ever. I don't swing that way." I responded with full seriousness, all the joking removed from my voice.
{Maybe we should've just said it without the sweet tone.}
"You absolutely should have." I deadpanned.
I continued to look for more slimes and was satisfied when I found that there were none in the corruption, meaning that my job was done for now.
And then I saw another slime appear. Literally.
It just popped into existence, with nothing showing why or how it did.
I looked around to see if there was any reason that it appeared, and found nothing.
I looked back to the slime and noted that it was heading straight towards me.
I decided to see what it was since it was larger than a house.
I thought about the size for a second before realizing what was happening.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me." I deadpanned, realizing what I was dealing with.
It was a noble slime, and my mood only dropped after I examined what it was.
[Ebonian Slime god
hp: 5200/5200]
"Motherfucker." I cursed.
{This... might be a problem.}
"Yeah, I'm dealing with a goddamned slime god, for christ's sake!"
{Again, don't bring up another religion in our presence. You don't want to be seen as a cheater, right?} The Gods said in mock seriousness once more.
"we both know that that skit has already been ruined by you." I said in the flattest voice I could manage.
{We know. But on the topic of fighting one slime god... That is a false statement.}
"In what way?" I questioned.
{Turn around.}
And so I did, with the result being the sight of another slime larger than a house.
[Crimulan Slime god
hp: 4650]
{As you can see, there are two gods you're fighting.}
"What did you tell me a few days ago?"
{That you weren't going to fight a slime god?}
"And what am I doing right now?"
{Fighting two slime gods?}
"Yeah!!"
{We should have expected this to happen... Although we technically didn't lie to you. We told you that you wouldn't fight "A" slime god. Now you're fighting two.}
"I should've never trusted you on this matter."
{You really shouldn't have.}
I just sighed in annoyance at the Gods.
"I'm gonna get you back for all this bullshit one day, you know."
{We are in your mind. The only person who knows more about you would be yourself. Now go kill some gods.}
I simply grumbled an annoyed "Fine."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire Yay! I'm back to writing things!
I hope you enjoyed today's chapter!
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